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Kat welcomes Ayla, a psychotherapist and family coach who specializes in boundaries, burnout, over-functioning, and generational trauma. They discuss why high-achieving women and moms often feel drained as they handle logistics, emotions, and goals. Ayla explains over-functioning as doing for others what they can do themselves, such as taking on extra chores, speaking for others, or jumping into conflicts. She notes that supportive partnerships can still feel unbalanced due to invisible labor and cultural expectations. Using Bowen family systems theory, she describes how stress creates cycles of over- and under-functioning, sharing an example involving a “Fair Play” household task card game that caused resentment. Ayla emphasizes that boundaries are non-punitive limits protecting relationships and reducing resentment, highlighting the importance of clear communication, natural consequences, creative compromises, and modeling boundaries for children.
Connect with Ayla:
🌎 www.aylaflemingllc.com
00:00 Meet Ayla and Disclaimer
00:44 Podcast Welcome and Host Intro
01:57 Why Moms Overfunction
02:42 What Overfunctioning Looks Like
04:36 Default Parent and Mental Load
08:57 Resentment and Fair Division
11:07 Fair Play Cards Story
13:22 Boundaries Defined
17:40 Self-Care Boundaries for Moms
23:06 Generational Patterns and Trauma
25:04 Communication vs Trauma Response
28:34 Workout Time Boundaries in Real Life
34:11 Modeling Boundaries for Kids
36:33 When Boundaries Get Pushback
37:19 Closing and Takeaways
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