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Mind Games and Money: The Toxic Hidden Forms Of Abuse.
Listener discretion is advised *Language Warning* strong, potentially offensive language.
In this deeply personal episode, Loraine shares her experience of psychological and economic abuse within an intimate relationship in Spain. Drawing on her lived reality and reflecting against the GREVIO report on Spain’s implementation of the Istanbul Convention, she uncovers the systemic failings of legal, judicial, and social support structures meant to protect women. From conflicting legal advice to court-appointed lawyers who failed her, and the trauma of eviction proceedings where her voice was silenced, Loraine exposes how women, especially foreign nationals, can be retraumatised by institutions meant to help them. This episode is a must-listen for survivors, advocates, and anyone seeking to understand the hidden dynamics of financial control and legal manipulation in abusive relationships.
Best Moments
“Stay in the property. Call the police if threatened. Negotiate.”
— The legal advice Loraine received, which contrasts sharply with what she later learned about prohibited mediation in abuse cases.
“You’ll leave with nothing.” A chilling shift from an agreed financial settlement to hostile legal actions by her ex-partner.
“I was denied a voice to speak.” Loraine’s description of the eviction hearing, where, despite securing a translator, no one asked her to testify or present her evidence.
“Imagine you’re struggling in the sea…” A powerful metaphor captures the despair of economic abuse, likening it to an abuser snatching away a lifeline while watching the victim drown.
“He said: ‘Your future security depends on having me on your side." A direct quote that exemplifies coercion, power imbalance, and the emotional manipulation central to economic violence.
Key Takeaways
Legal Systems Often Fail to Protect Survivors - inconsistent legal representation, poor communication, and ignorance of international conventions leave survivors vulnerable.
Economic Abuse Is a Hidden, Ongoing Form of Control - Post-breakup financial manipulation—like withdrawing settlement offers or initiating costly litigation—can trap survivors in prolonged trauma.
Mediation in Abuse Cases Is Prohibited—But Still Happens - Despite Article 48 of the Istanbul Convention, survivors are often pushed into negotiation with abusers under the guise of “amicable” settlements.
Being a Foreigner Adds Layers of Vulnerability - Language barriers, lack of support networks, and discriminatory treatment from legal and social systems increase risks for migrant women.
There Must Be Accountability and Continuity in Legal Support - Survivors need consistent legal help from professionals trained to identify abuse patterns—not just procedural conflict, so they are not silenced or misrepresented.
Research Documents
“Spain – Istanbul Convention Action against violence against women and domestic violence”
STUDY OF ECONOMIC VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH PARTNERS OR EX-PARTNERS PDF
SEA: https://survivingeconomicabuse.org/
Tips and donations are welcome and greatly appreciated!!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
View all episodes
By Loraine MarshallListener discretion is advised *Language Warning* strong, potentially offensive language.
In this deeply personal episode, Loraine shares her experience of psychological and economic abuse within an intimate relationship in Spain. Drawing on her lived reality and reflecting against the GREVIO report on Spain’s implementation of the Istanbul Convention, she uncovers the systemic failings of legal, judicial, and social support structures meant to protect women. From conflicting legal advice to court-appointed lawyers who failed her, and the trauma of eviction proceedings where her voice was silenced, Loraine exposes how women, especially foreign nationals, can be retraumatised by institutions meant to help them. This episode is a must-listen for survivors, advocates, and anyone seeking to understand the hidden dynamics of financial control and legal manipulation in abusive relationships.
Best Moments
“Stay in the property. Call the police if threatened. Negotiate.”
— The legal advice Loraine received, which contrasts sharply with what she later learned about prohibited mediation in abuse cases.
“You’ll leave with nothing.” A chilling shift from an agreed financial settlement to hostile legal actions by her ex-partner.
“I was denied a voice to speak.” Loraine’s description of the eviction hearing, where, despite securing a translator, no one asked her to testify or present her evidence.
“Imagine you’re struggling in the sea…” A powerful metaphor captures the despair of economic abuse, likening it to an abuser snatching away a lifeline while watching the victim drown.
“He said: ‘Your future security depends on having me on your side." A direct quote that exemplifies coercion, power imbalance, and the emotional manipulation central to economic violence.
Key Takeaways
Legal Systems Often Fail to Protect Survivors - inconsistent legal representation, poor communication, and ignorance of international conventions leave survivors vulnerable.
Economic Abuse Is a Hidden, Ongoing Form of Control - Post-breakup financial manipulation—like withdrawing settlement offers or initiating costly litigation—can trap survivors in prolonged trauma.
Mediation in Abuse Cases Is Prohibited—But Still Happens - Despite Article 48 of the Istanbul Convention, survivors are often pushed into negotiation with abusers under the guise of “amicable” settlements.
Being a Foreigner Adds Layers of Vulnerability - Language barriers, lack of support networks, and discriminatory treatment from legal and social systems increase risks for migrant women.
There Must Be Accountability and Continuity in Legal Support - Survivors need consistent legal help from professionals trained to identify abuse patterns—not just procedural conflict, so they are not silenced or misrepresented.
Research Documents
“Spain – Istanbul Convention Action against violence against women and domestic violence”
STUDY OF ECONOMIC VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH PARTNERS OR EX-PARTNERS PDF
SEA: https://survivingeconomicabuse.org/
Tips and donations are welcome and greatly appreciated!!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.