My new book about divorce is out and lots of people are dodging me because they are afraid that divorce might be contagious but worry it’s not. But what is contagious and what can kill a marriage in a hurry is not talking about money or better yet, financial infidelity. So what is financial infidelity? Well, it’s essentially keeping money secrets from your significant other. You may actually be doing this without really realizing it or the harm that it can do your relationship.
Financial infidelity can range from hiding an occasional purchase from your partner to secretly gambling away your retirement investments. In either case, money deceptions, no matter how small or how well rationalized, can create irreparable cracks in your relationship.
So why do we commit financial infidelity? Some of the common reasons include:
Feeling that you are entitled to get the things you want or
Feeling that you’re not entitled to buy things you want so you lie about it
To avoid a fight because every time they talk about money it turns into an argument
And then there’s revenge or payback
Because financial infidelity can not only can ruin your relationship, but your bank account as well, many people think it’s actually more harmful than sexual infidelity. So how can you keep from falling into the financial infidelity trap? Here are three basic strategies that can certainly help:
Have regular money discussions – don’t wait for things to bubble up, be proactive.
Have a ‘mad money’ allowance – this is money that you can spend any way you like so you don’t have to hide the things you purchase or feel guilty about them
Manage you money together. It’s okay to delegate tasks, but check in on occasion to make sure everything is okay – or in the words of Ronal Reagan, trust but verify.
Money is the leading cause of divorce but it is avoidable if you just take the time to talk about it.
And, that’s the minute for today. My new book is finally out!! Yeah!! It’s called How to Get Divorced Without Losing Your Blouse. Get your copy on my website (www.psworth.com/shop), Amazon or other bookstore. It pulls back the curtain on the process so you know what to expect and can be better prepared. And, it is one place where you really want to mind your money.
Thanks for listening and as always remember that minding your money really is the path to a richer life!