Mindset, Mood & Movement: Systems Thinking for Founder

"Why chasing work life balance is a bad idea and what you can do instead". Claire and I discuss this tricky topic and aim to provide ways for you to find more harmony.

- Defining work-life balance is hard. It can mean making time for work and non-work activities you enjoy in a way that works for you. It's an individual thing.

- We have cognitive biases like status quo bias where we continue doing things as we have done. Becoming aware of this is the first step to changing unhelpful patterns.

- "Balance" suggests 50/50 which may not be realistic or even desirable for some. Think beyond hours to where your attention and energy goes. Integrate life as a whole.

- Over-identifying with a work identity can harm work-life wellbeing and balance. Bring more awareness to your whole self.

- Environment design is powerful. What visual cues trigger certain habits around work and personal life? Set up spaces thoughtfully.

- Manage your attention actively. Multitasking often backfires for presence, focus and productivity. Practice being fully present.

- Reflect on what really matters through questions. What life choices serve my values? Make decisions deliberately.

- Start from within yourself - care for your physiology, emotions and mind. This builds a base for choices.

- There's no quick fix, but small consistent lifestyle choices compound over months and years.

- Choose one thing you'll do differently after listening to start applying this to your life. Then build from there.

Contact Claire here

Get in touch with Sal

If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you.

In this episode, I speak with April Baker, CEO of the loneliness charity TogetherCo, about combatting loneliness and isolation by improving your social health. They discuss the differences between being alone, loneliness, and isolation. April shares her personal struggles with loneliness in her twenties while outwardly appearing to have an active social life.

We explore how the COVID-19 pandemic impacted people's social connections and mental health, especially for those already isolated or lonely. They talk about how to strengthen social health even for busy, successful people who still feel lonely. April offers practical tips like taking stock of your current relationships, performing small acts of kindness daily, and getting involved in your community through volunteering.

Key Takeaways:

- Loneliness is feeling disconnected even if you're around people; isolation is being unable to leave home or interact.

- You can appear to have an active social life online but still feel profound loneliness.

- The pandemic severely affected social health for many, especially older adults.

- Strengthen social health by taking stock of key relationships, showing kindness daily, and volunteering in your community.

- Making social health a priority is just as important as diet and exercise for overall wellbeing.

Quotes and insights from the episode:

"Loneliness is feeling disconnected even if you're around people...you could be lonely in a room full of people and look like you’ve got loads of friends."

"Loneliness is as bad for us as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It really is a killer."

"The pandemic was a destroyer for some people, some people I know, older people... Soon as that was taken away, their mobility went right down, their movement went right down, their health often collapsed."

"Everybody deserves somebody. We come, we don’t come into this world fully alone...we shouldn’t go out on our own as well. And then sadly, people do."

"Making social health a priority is just as important as diet and exercise for overall wellbeing."

April's Quote:

"Loneliness is feeling disconnected even if you're around people...you could be lonely in a room full of people and look like you’ve got loads of friends."

Get in touch with April & Together Co:

Together Co is Brighton and Hove’s loneliness charity. We create connections to change lives. 

Get support | Help fund our services | Volunteer 

Follow TogetherCo on Twitter | Instagram | Facebook 

Get in touch with Sal

If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you

I’m delighted to share insights from my latest podcast with Toby Buckle about leadership, management and movement. 

We open up conversation of conscious movement in the workplace. Body language and state (emotional) management has a profound effect on us and our performance. 

A concept I have is that we don’t live in a body, we THROUGH a body. I like to help people define how they can move well and feel strong plus alleviate stress by moving and staying connected to their body. So much stress is based on psychological threats but it’s experienced in the body.

Toby is also a Tai Chi teacher and he explained to me how we can use that lens to view senior people’s activity with. Toby says that post pandemic, there’s even less movement based on working practices. Video calls are an example of we are moving less compared to when we walk and talk on a voice call. Perhaps that’s something you can consider in your own working day.

There’s a brilliant exercise we go through based on 3 zones – Comfort, Stretch and Panic. These can be done as imaginary zones on the floor you can actually ’step’ into. Toby explains this this process and it’s super helpful to help understand how to get into the ‘stretch’ zone where you can grow. Coming out of our head only and connect to the embodied experience is so powerful.

Tai Chi, much like Yoga, teaches how to be grounded and become present and able to take on things when we are grounded. These principles can be learned through movement practices. Our body happens before our head (most of the time) and we can harness this with self awareness to connect better with others, especially as a leader.

We talk about the distinction between motivating and demotivating strategies - How this can work for you or against you. Building in buffer zones to reflect and have space between meetings and ideally include some movement, even if you’re watering the plants in the office (Toby’s real example). My suggestion is “how can you move more?” Looking at what you’re doing and not doing can be revealing and help you strategise to move more on a daily basis.

What are you role modelling to your team and your family by your choices around movement? How do you describe yourself? Our identity statements are ones to watch. Toby uses a big ‘away-from’ thought to help motivate him. All these factors play into making new choices around movement and exercise and thinking in long-term timelines will be factors that create a formula for healthy habit building.

Get in touch with Toby

You can find all Toby's details and info on this website.

Get in touch with Sal

If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you

Do you frequently say yes when you'd rather have said no? Are you caught up in the cycle of people pleasing to avoid confrontation or for fear of upsetting someone? In our latest podcast episode, we take a deep dive into the modern phenomenon of people pleasing and its impact on life and work. In this episode, we're going straight into the people pleasing pattern, why we have it and how we can move on from it

Understanding this pattern is crucial. It's not just about making others happy or keeping the peace; beneath the surface lies a complex web of low self-esteem, fear of confrontation and ingrained cultural or familial biases. You're my latest podcast episode, I share example of Steven, a high achiever who struggled with saying no. I helped him peel back the layers and discovered that his people-pleasing was a strategy to avoid confrontation. His pattern of people pleasing or what is often termed, fawning’, was draining him. By understanding that it was a (subconscious) strategy to avoid conflict, it kept happening. We he realised most ‘no’s don't equal confrontation, then things could change. 

The key is to recognise your neurological state - are you in flow, fight, flight or freeze mode? Instead of succumbing to a flight response, adopt a problem-solving mindset. Challenge the belief that saying no equals confrontation and acknowledge the layers of past biases that may be influencing your behaviour. Combine this with challenging your own beliefs and fears, you can start to have a different response.

Consider shifting your attitude to a present-focused approach and let go of old patterns. Your value is immense and the narrative of low self-worth can be challenged and rewritten. Own your achievements, no matter how small, and start investing in your own self-worth bank.

Remember that being true to yourself doesn't mean upsetting others. You can say no graciously and authentically, making room for your needs while maintaining healthy relationships.

If these insights resonate with you, or if you have specific questions about overcoming people pleasing, please leave a comment or contact us. Let's break free from the unhelpful pattern of people pleasing and embrace a life of authenticity and empowerment.

Get in touch with Sal

If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you

The Importance of Real Human Connection in the Workplace

Introduction:  In this episode, we explore the vital theme of real human connection and its profound impact on both individuals and teams. My guest, Lianne Weaver, shares her insights on the evolving landscape of workplace dynamics, touching on issues of disconnection, loneliness, and the changing nature of training.

Key Themes:

1. Disconnection in the Workplace:

• Lianne kicks off the conversation by narrating her personal story, shedding light on the pervasive issue of disconnection in the workplace.
• The discussion revolves around the importance of self-awareness and how individuals respond to it—whether it becomes a catalyst for personal growth or a barrier that keeps them stuck.

1. Responsibility vs. Fault:

• A crucial point emerges regarding the distinction between responsibility and fault. The conversation explores the concept of post-traumatic growth and the choices people make in the face of challenges.
• Lianne shares her expertise in guiding individuals on what to do once they become self-aware, emphasizing the development of resilience and anti-fragility.

1. Leadership Challenges:

• The conversation takes a closer look at the biggest problems in the workplace, with a particular focus on leadership.
• Sal & Lianne discuss what is missing in leadership and the root causes of workplace issues.

Personal Experience and Effects:

• The discussion delves into the personal experiences of individuals in the workplace, examining the effects of loneliness and disconnection.
• Lianne introduces the concept of personifying problems and highlights the role of connection in shifting focus from oneself.

Practical Solutions:

1. Demonstrate Don't Broadcast:

• A key takeaway for leaders is the importance of leading by example. The hosts discuss the impact of modeling behavior for others to follow.

1. Recovery Breaks:

• Lianne shares research findings on internal and external recovery, emphasizing the significance of mental rest along with physical rest.
• The discussion touches on practical strategies like recovery breaks and the importance of incorporating activities that induce a flow state.

1. Employee/Team Member Perspective:

• Sal & Lianne explore the perspective of employees and team members, advocating for self-reliance and setting firm boundaries.
• Attention residue is discussed, highlighting the challenge of being fully present and the importance of declaring a mental "shutdown" at the end of the workday.

Steps to Foster Human Connection:

1. Daily Human Contact:

• Sal & Lianne stress the importance of daily human contact, even if it's a brief interaction at a local shop.

1. Being Fully Present:

• Being fully present is identified as a critical factor in fostering real human connection.

1. Effective Communication:

• The episode concludes with a discussion on communication styles, urging listeners to reflect on their communication habits and practice the pause for meaningful conversations.
• Lianne's go-to strategies, "And then what?" and focusing on the breath, are highlighted as powerful tools to take actionable steps toward improving human connection.

A note on distraction.

• It takes an average of about 25 minutes (23 minutes and 15 seconds, to be exact) to return to the original task after an interruption, according to Gloria Mark, at the University of California, Irvine.

Join us in this thought-provoking exploration of why real human connection matters in the workplace and how we can actively cultivate it for a more fulfilling and productive professional life.

Get in touch with Lianne

Head to Lianne's website - Beam Training to learn more.

Get in touch with Sal

If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you

Being stuck, indecisive and not moving forward is draining.

In this mini episode, explain some of the psychology and emotional patterns that might be a play for you. Explain the difference between patience and indecision.

What is a decision? I explain more in this episode and what's behind the reason we can't make a clear decision.

Losing money / time / judgement from others can be a big part of this pattern. What are your fears?

Analysis paralysis - overthinking is another key issue. This suggest tha'ts it's not a cognitive/thinking problem, more likely an emotionally charged problem that hasn't been addressed.

And finally, the 'perfectionism' pattern might be what's holding you back. It's another sneaky pattern that may be fuelling indecision.

Most of the time, the only wrong decision is usually indecision!

Get in touch with Sal

If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you

How to find success that leads to fulfilment in life & business. This episode looks a LOT deeper with my guest, Marc Convey, who's life journey includes overcoming adversity from a traumatic accident at 14. Then going on to succeed in work and business and more recently, a journey of deep self reflection.

In a world where we often judge by appearances, it's easy to assume that what we see on the outside reflects what's going on inside. However, Marc, a storyteller and advocate for the Baton Of Hope suicide prevention charity, challenges this notion and reveals that our external image doesn't always mirror our internal reality.

Marc's powerful story, shaped by his journey from a life-altering accident at 14 and years of healing and rehabilitation, teaches us the importance of looking beyond appearances. He challenges us to redefine our understanding of success and acknowledge that trauma is a shared experience, not one we endure alone. By embracing these lessons, we can foster a more compassionate and understanding society.

Marc says, "I wear my trauma on the outside. And I've made friends with the voice inside my head." He invites us to walk alongside him by the reservoir of his story and trauma, emphasising that he can choose when to dip into it and share, without becoming fully immersed in it.

In this journey of understanding, I am reminded that "You never know someone's story." It's easy to make assumptions and project our beliefs onto others, but true connection requires asking genuine, compassionate questions and truly listening. There's a stark difference between listening to understand and listening to reply.

From my time talking with Marc , there were 3 key points we all can use:

1. Question Your Perception: Sometimes, what we believe we see on the outside doesn't align with the internal reality. Marc shares his experience of working with seemingly successful individuals who, behind closed doors, reveal their fears and insecurities. Success can be a facade, and it's vital to question our assumptions.
2. The Power of Conversation: In our hyper-connected world, genuine human-to-human contact remains irreplaceable. Connecting, listening, and being authentically human can provide invaluable support to those who may be suffering in silence.
3. Be a Deep Listener: When was the last time you felt truly heard? When someone asked you a profound question? In a world where superficial interactions are abundant, the power of deep listening can change lives.

Meet Marc Convey, the incredible inspirational speaker and burns survivor from Brighton. Despite life-altering injuries from a devastating fire, Marc's resilience and determination have turned him into a beacon of hope worldwide. He shares his story and insights as a powerful speaker, promoting mental health, wellness, and chasing dreams despite obstacles. Marc is also an accomplished entrepreneur and creative professional, bringing his unique talents to various industries. Discover how his passion and expertise can help you achieve your goals.

You can reach Marc on LinkedIn here

Get in touch with Sal

If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you

Worrying about the opinion of others can be a massive problem. It can take a lot of energy and can be draining.

We are social species and it does matter how we are in our trusted group BUT the incessant worrying can be a maladaptive response that can end putting more distance between us and others if not understood and dealt with properly.

Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and philosopher said, "we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own"

I talk about how shame can be an underlying feeling that may be connected to this.

Can we move from Pariah to an Outlier? How do we tap into that authentic voice within to guide us?

4 Main Insights.

1. How often do you think spending about other people? We spend most of out time thinking about ourselves.
2. Instinctual responses are often out of alignment with how we are living today. Expressing yourself to others is liberating.
3. Avoid being part of the problem- Avoid judging; self, others. Change your perception of judgement being everywhere.
4. What is your body response? If you connect with the sensations that arise, you notice... allow to be without trying to change it. Simply notice and it will shift.

Get in touch with Sal

If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you.

Tanith Lee aka 'Mrs Menopause' joins me as a specialist to talk about the menopause with a particular focus from a man's perspective.

I share my personal experience with this as my partner is going through the peri-menopause and it has been a challenging experience for both of us. I also have numerous clients going through the menopause so I have exposure to the impact on women and their life/work.

As a partner of someone, you might start to notice changes your their partner and fee the effects on you and your relationship. Can we change the description of a 'symptom' to a 'signal' of what's going on - when you see these you can start to get interested in these.

Tanith says that peri-menopause > menopause shouldn't be feared. If we can go into this with knowledge and compassion (rather then fear) then this is a good place to start. Stress will make the experience worse so that needs addressing.

I talk about the nervous system which needs to be understood. The stress response is either 'fight' mode or flight' mode. If you feel anger can it be expressed healthily without trying to avoid it or shutting it down? we discuss this in depth. Tanith explains the common narrative is to calm everything down BUT menopausal 'rage' but we discuss this and how you can take actions to process this rather than suppressing what you're feeling.

How can we communicate better? How do men deal with the difficult feelings that might come up such as rejection?

We discuss all of this and provide various options you can do.

And yes, we also discuss intimacy!

Finally, we cover the powerful impact of exercise. The relationship with your body needs to be nurtured. Tanith explains the issues to be aware of due to hormonal changes. How you feel is the ultimate payoff and if you can find 'joy' this is such a lift. I call these moments 'Joy Lilly-Pads' to hop from between the difficult times.

Get in touch with Sal

If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you.

Mark Wingfield shares how the Havening Technique can help us with with the difficult things in life - adversity, trauma, tragedy and threats.

Havening means to put a person in a 'safe haven'. Mark's background is in conflict and self defence and has seen how this new approach can help many people who've overcome so many issues.

The science behind Havening: Mark explains that Gamma waves are the predominant brain waves at the time of traumatisation. This high oscillation of calcium creates a number of consequences of various neurotransmitters. Simply put, receptors in the amygdala are connected and stay with us like 'glue' - it becomes a programmed in the brain with a response to any triggers that were there at the time of traumatisation.

When we touch certain areas of the body, we generate a delta (brain) wave. This is much slower than the Gamma waves the brain creates when in a state of traumatisation. These Delta waves send signals that help us feel safe, they are a self-soother. In turn this changes the chemical balance in out brain and helps remove the 'glue' that held the receptors in the trauma state.

Get in touch with Sal

If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you.

Get in touch with Mark

Via Linkedin

Havening Max Website