Many of us go through periods in our lives when we’re not happy with the amount of sex we do or don't want. In Ep 190 of American Sex Podcast, Cyndi Darnell gives tips for changing our relationship to pleasure and navigating intimacy when one partner is perpetually ‘not in the mood.’ Some of the things we touch on:

• Mismatched Libido 
• Responsive vs spontaneous desire
• Arousal vs libido vs desire vs attraction
• How gender & orientation factor in
• Reasons people have desire changes & discrepancy
• Common myths about desire & arousal that keep us stuck
• How to talk to partners & work together to find common ground

Sunny also makes an exciting announcement about the new, kink-focused digital publication, Zipper Magazine!

Cyndi Darnell Bio

Cyndi Darnell (she/her) is a clinical and somatic sexologist and author of Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It The Truth About Mismatched Libido & Rediscovering Desire (Rowman & Littlefield). Originally from Australia, she’s now based in New York City where she runs a global consulting practice to clients worldwide. A psychotherapist by training, Cyndi currently supports individuals, couples and polycules navigating relationships and sexual difficulties, plus professional mentorship and case consultations to clinicians and sexologists worldwide seeking to deepen their understanding of the links between psychotherapy, sexology, relationships work and somatic practice. She's a Clinical Associate of Pink Therapy UK & Board Affiliate for University of Wisconsin STOUT Sex Therapy Certification program.

Her podcast The Erotic Philosopher brings guests of diverse backgrounds together to explore issues affecting modern sex and relationships. Her numerous academic works are published in Journal of Sexual & Relationship Therapy and Journal of Sex Education among others. Her expert opinion is frequently sought by media outlets worldwide.

Episode 190 Links

• Cyndi Darnell Website www.cyndidarnell.com
• Cyndi Darnell Twitter https://twitter.com/cyndi_darnell
• Cyndi Darnell TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@cyndi_darnell
• Cyndi Darnell Facebook https://www.facebook.com/cyndidarnellpage
• Sex When You Don't Feel Like It: The Truth about Mismatched Libido and Rediscovering Desire https://www.amazon.com/When-Dont-Feel-Like-Rediscovering/dp/1538161702  

• Zipper Magazine Launch 6/8/22 https://zippermagazine.com/
• Zipper Magazine Instagram https://www.instagram.com/zippermagdotcom/
• Zipper Magazine Twitter https://twitter.com/ZipperMagDotcom
• Zipper Magazine Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Zipper-Magazine-113123824749292
• Zipper Magazine Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxFDRtDhukxyQ_9t-Xfo2-w
• Open Deeply Podcast http://opendeeplypodcast.com
• Sunny Megatron TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sunnymegatron
• Ken’s charity DnD game Mondays 4pm-7pm PT https://www.twitch.tv/thunderpantsacademy
• American Sex Podcast Discord Community http://bit.ly/discordasp
• American Sex Podcast Patreon http://patreon.com/americansex
• Kink Academy Online BDSM Learning Library http://bit.ly/kinkacademy
• Sunny’s Free Kink Negotiation & Scene Planning Mini-Workbook https://sunnymegatron.gumroad.com/l/negotiationwb

Episode 190 Sponsor & Affiliate Discount Codes/Links

*by using our links & codes you can help support our work while saving a few bucks too—win/win!

• 10% off your first month with BetterHelp http://betterhelp.com/asp
• 15% off AND free shipping when you go to http://LikeAKitten.com/sunny OR enter code SUNNY at checkout
• Bump’n https://getbumpn.com/ Hundreds of millions of people are unable to take pleasure into their own hands due to disability, ageing, arthritis or illness. Bump’n is on a mission to change this with the Bump’n Joystick - the world’s first accessible sex toy! Help spread self-love and fund an orgasm today
• Get up to 2 free months of podcasting service with Libsyn using this link https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=SUNNY or use code SUNNY

• Hot & Healthy Erotic Humiliation recorded class https://gum.co/humiliationclass
• Prostate Play for Beginners (recorded class) from Sugar Baltimore https://www.sugartheshop.com/prostate-milking-for-beginners.html
• Sunny & Ken’s classes on Kink Academy http://bit.ly/kinkacademyelectric & http://bit.ly/kinkacademyhumiliation

• 10% off American Sex Podcast & Sunny Megatron merch with code SUNNY (t-shirts, mugs, phone cases & more) http://bit.ly/sunnyshirts
• 15% off your order at Lovehoney when you use this link http://bit.ly/lovehoney15 This link can be a little wonky and does not keep tracking cookies. If the discount does not show up in your cart (or disappears after you shop around on the site), access the site with that link again. Your items will still be in your cart & the discount will appear)
• 15% off everything at Lelo.com with code SUNNY
• 10% off everything (with minor restrictions) online from woman-owned, feminist, trans & queer-friendly Early To Bed http://bit.ly/sunnyetb with code SUNNY
• 10% off everything from Fun Factory using this link http://bit.ly/sunnyfunfactory and the code SUNNY at checkout
• 15% off most items from Stockroom https://bit.ly/sunnystockroom15 with code SUNNY

_______________________________________________________________

–Submit your BDSM & sex advice questions by email to [email protected]

–To support American Sex podcast, please visit http://patreon.com/americansex (plus you’ll get all episodes early, secret episodes, bonus stories from guests, on-air shout-outs, stuff in the mail & more!)

–Get friendly with us on Twitter at @AmericanSexPod or visit sunnymegatron.com or americansexpodcast.com

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Sunny & Ken, xo!