Modern Marriage with Monica

In this raw, no-BS conversation, male performance coach Mike Sartain (founder of Men of Action) joins the show to break down why so many men become complacent after marriage—and how to reverse it before it's too late. We dive deep into:

Why men's testosterone levels plummet in marriage (and skyrocket after divorce) — and why TRT (testosterone replacement therapy) after age 35 could save more marriages than counseling ever will.

The evolutionary truth about leadership, boundaries, and frame: Doing everything your wife asks doesn't earn loyalty—it breeds resentment and cheating. Learn why presenting a unified front in public, enforcing real boundaries (no other men touching her intimately, no public disrespect), and refusing baseless accusations is essential.

Modern dating disasters: Smartphones + TikTok/Instagram addiction (especially post-1995 generation), dating apps, porn, and the disappearance of attractive women in nightlife have ruined the game. Women swipe away anything that doesn't spark instant dopamine—don't let that mindset enter your marriage.

Why "nice guy" tendencies kill attraction: Avoiding confrontation creates bigger conflict. Lead decisively (e.g., "We're going to Toko Madera at 9 PM—be ready"), handle emotional tests calmly, and stop apologizing for other women finding you attractive (preselection works!).

The double standard no one talks about: What turns men on (physical attraction) vs. what turns women on (status, leadership, respect). Good advice gets labeled "toxic" because it works—pandering gurus (Chris GQ Perry, etc.) just sell lies.

Practical fixes: Get on TRT if needed (aim 700-900 ng/dL), lift heavy, stay lean (bench your bodyweight or risk divorce), have frequent sex (it's the glue), and support her glow-up while maintaining your edge. Obesity and low T are the real marriage killers—not "energy" or "vibes."

If you're a married man feeling the spark fade, getting fat, passive, or disrespected—this is the wake-up call. Mike's military-style, technique-driven approach (inspired by Jocko/David Goggins but applied to dating & relationships) has helped thousands of high-achieving men reclaim their masculinity.

Timestamps for key sections:0:00 – Intro & Mike's background (Military, Men of Action, high-status networking)

3:45 – Why men enter through "dating" but need leadership most

7:20 – Modern dating market destruction (social media, apps, smartphones since puberty)

12:10 – Testosterone drop in marriage + TRT as marriage saver

18:50 – Boundaries that actually work (no public disrespect, unified front, no baseless accusations)

25:40 – Leading decisively vs. endless "what do you want?" questions

32:15 – Respect for men = quelling rage & no sarcasm/attacks

38:00 – Pandering gurus vs. real evolutionary advice (why good advice gets called toxic)

45:30 – Preselection: Let other women find you attractive—it's good for her libido too

52:10 – Get in shape together: Sex & attraction cure most problems (challenge to marriage counselors!)

1:00:00 – TRT details, Ozempic realities, & final advice for married men

Check out Mike Sartain's Men of Action program for more: https://www.moamentoring.com

If this hit home, like, comment your biggest takeaway, and subscribe for more unfiltered talks on masculinity, relationships, and performance.#MarriageAdvice #Testosterone #MensHealth #Masculinity #TRT #BoundariesInMarriage #MikeSartain #MenOfAction #RelationshipAdvice #ModernDating

Un this video I explain WHY playful, light-hearted energy is one of the strongest long-term drivers of a woman’s sexual attraction — and EXACTLY how men can bring more fun into everyday life to keep desire alive.

If you’re a man who wants a deeper, lasting connection (not just short-term hookups), this video breaks down the psychology of mental attraction vs. physical attraction, why frequency of fun matters more than one big weekly date night, and 5 practical strategies you can start using today to become the source of joy in your relationship.

What you’ll get from this video:

A clear framework for balancing stability (gentleman mode) with playful unpredictability (beast mode)

Practical, low-effort daily actions that increase mental attraction and sexual desire

Examples and scripts for playful moments you can use tonight

Guidance for men with young kids on how to inject fun without added stress.

Who this is for:

Married men wanting to restore or deepen sexual attraction

Men in long-term relationships aiming to prevent boredom and stagnation

Partners who already do “the chores” but want more spark and intimacy

Men curious about emotional and psychological drivers of desire

Timestamps:

0:00 Intro — Why “fun” matters more than you think

1:05 My story — How Michael’s playful laugh hooked me in the dental chair

3:20 Mental vs. physical attraction — What keeps her attracted long-term

6:10 Why frequency of fun beats one big date night

8:00 The danger of predictable relationships (and “to-do” date nights)

10:00 5 Simple Ways to Drive Her Sexual Desire by Having More Fun

10:20 Tip 1 — Make things competitive (grocery races, folding contests)

11:50 Tip 2 — Get physical (playful wrestling, piggyback rides, scoop-to-bed)

13:30 Tip 3 — Add music (dance while doing chores, sing-alongs)

14:40 Tip 4 — Do something a little “shady” (harmless spontaneity & memories)

16:10 Tip 5 — Increase unpredictability (different routes, surprise kisses, bold style)

18:00 How to ramp up “beast mode” slowly — balance with gentleman mode

19:40 Q&A + common objections (date nights, kids, burnout)

22:00 Wrap-up & next steps

https://linktr.ee/Monica.Almaguer

Join Monica's Community Here: https://www.skool.com/modernmarriagewithmonica/about?ref=ef239ca470a34e648243770616f65c73

Benefits such as:

1. Early Access to Videos

2. Free Relationship Tools

3. Ability to ask Questions to Monica Directly

4. Group Coaching

5. A Solid Support System of Amazing Men

Contact Monica:

Interested in Coaching? Send me an email at [email protected].

Have a Question? Send us an email to [email protected] and We May Just Answer it in one of our videos!

How to Create and Maintain Long-Term Sexual Attraction Course: Learn the six pillars of attraction, how women tick, and how to reignite your marriage—without her even needing to know. Click below for details

https://www.smokinghotmarriage.com/6799b46c

Red Pill philosophy has provided millions of men with eye-opening truths about attraction, dating, and gender dynamics by rejecting mainstream romantic ideals like "just be yourself" and "true love conquers all." However, as a woman deeply familiar with the Red Pill community, I believe several widely repeated ideas are overstated, incomplete, or entirely incorrect when applied to real-world relationships.

In this video, I break down four of the most popular Red Pill concepts that often mislead men about women's nature, long-term relationships, and marriage.

This discussion offers a balanced, pragmatic perspective — combining Red Pill realism with deeper contextual understanding (think Red Pill philosophy blended with timeless biblical wisdom) — to help men better navigate relationships without falling into extremes or cynicism.

Key topics covered:

Why "genuine burning desire" alone does not explain every case of declining female libido in marriage

How hypergamy is not exclusively a female trait — men exhibit their own version focused on different priorities

The myth that a man must be 6 feet tall to succeed in dating, and why dating apps create a distorted reality

Why dismissing marriage as too risky ignores its profound benefits for men, women, children, and society

Timestamps:

0:00 - Introduction: The importance of understanding women's nature in modern relationships

1:45 - Origins of the Red Pill concept from The Matrix and its application to dating

3:20 - My personal philosophy: Red Pill realism combined with biblical principles

5:10 - Myth #1: Genuine Burning Desire Is Everything (Why low libido is multifaceted — hormones, motherhood, medications, affection, trauma, and more)

9:45 - Key questions to diagnose the real root causes of desire changes in marriage

14:30 - Myth #2: Hypergamy Is Exclusively a Female Trait (Both genders seek higher value — women in multifaceted ways, men often prioritizing youth, beauty, and femininity)

19:15 - Myth #3: You Must Be 6 Feet Tall or You're Doomed (Dating app filters vs. real-life success — average U.S. male height is approximately 5'9", and confidence, charisma, and connection matter far more)

If you are a man currently in a relationship or hoping to build one, this video provides essential context to avoid common pitfalls while appreciating the valuable truths the Red Pill community does get right.

Join Monica's Community Here: https://www.skool.com/modernmarriagewithmonica/about?ref=ef239ca470a34e648243770616f65c73

Benefits such as:

1. Ability to ask Monica questions directly

2. Early Access to Videos

3. Free access to podcast transcripts/notes

Contact Monica:

Interested in Coaching? https://linktr.ee/Monica.Almaguer

Have a Question? Send us an email to [email protected] and We May Just Answer it in one of our videos!

How to Create and Maintain Long-Term Sexual Attraction Course: Learn the six pillars of attraction, how women tick, and how to reignite your marriage—without her even needing to know. Click below for details

https://www.smokinghotmarriage.com/6799b46c

Like the video if this perspective challenged or clarified your views.

Subscribe for more in-depth, balanced content on dating advice, attraction dynamics, gender differences, and long-term relationships.

#RedPill #RedPillMyths #RelationshipsAdvice #DatingAdviceForMen #HypergamyExplained #WomensLibido #MarriageForMen #HeightInDating #GenuineDesire #MensSelfImprovement #GenderDynamics

Are you a married woman struggling with low libido, a fading sex life, or feeling like the passion has died in your marriage? Or a husband searching for answers to a dead bedroom? This video flips the script on who's really responsible for keeping things HOT.

Society constantly tells men what they MUST do to "earn" sex – stay attractive, build emotional connection, be a great dad, handle chores, and more. But what about a wife's responsibilities? Is her sexual desire 100% on him... or is it time to own your part?

Monica reveals the hard truth: It's NOT your husband's job to turn you on – it's YOURS. Female desire is often responsive (not spontaneous), and as a wife, you have duties and obligations in marriage – including showing up sexually with generosity and enthusiasm. This isn't about duty sex or force – it's about choosing to cultivate your own libido for a thriving marriage (and your own pleasure!).Discover the 6 key responsibilities every married woman has to keep her sex life vibrant:Know what turns you on (and communicate it – no faking!)

Embrace your sexuality (even after kids or menopause)

Address hang-ups (body image, past trauma, hormones)

Show up fully when you say yes (no resentment or starfishing)

Be open to exploration (escape vanilla boredom)

Initiate occasionally (make him feel wanted)

Men: Stop believing the lie that it's all on you. Attraction and technique help, but her mindset is the real game-changer.Shift from autopilot moods to intentional sexual generosity – it will transform your marriage beyond imagination. Perfect for wives dealing with low desire, post-baby changes, or long-term ruts. Husbands, share this!

Timestamps:00:00 – Intro: Is Her Low Libido Really All on Him?

01:45 – The Lie We've All Been Told About Female Desire

04:20 – Why "Duty" Doesn't Kill Passion (And Backlash Explained)

07:10 – Responsive Desire: Like Going to the Gym for Intimacy

10:30 – The 6 Responsibilities for Wives

11:00 – #1: Know What Turns You On

13:20 – #2: Embrace Your Sexuality

15:40 – #3: Address Your Hang-Ups

17:50 – #4: Show Up Fully

19:30 – #5: Be Open to Exploration

21:10 – #6: Initiate Occasionally

23:45 – Final Thought: Own Your Mood, Ignite Your Marriage

If you're ready to revive passion, stop blaming, and take control of your sex life – watch now! Drop a comment: What's YOUR biggest bedroom challenge? Subscribe for more real talk on marriage, intimacy, and dead bedroom fixes.

Like if this resonated – share with your spouse!

Join Monica's Community Here: https://www.skool.com/modernmarriagewithmonica/about?ref=ef239ca470a34e648243770616f65c73

Benefits such as:

1. Early Access to Videos

2. Free access to Marriage Meter: A Quick & Easy Way to Assess Your Marriage Health

3. Ability to ask Questions Directly

Contact Monica:

Interested in Coaching? Send me an email at [email protected].

Have a Question? Send us an email to [email protected] and We May Just Answer it in one of our videos!

How to Create and Maintain Long-Term Sexual Attraction Course: Learn the six pillars of attraction, how women tick, and how to reignite your marriage—without her even needing to know. Click below for details

https://www.smokinghotmarriage.com/6799b46c

After divorce, job loss, or any life-shattering event, many men feel lost and struggle to rediscover their identity and purpose. In this in-depth interview, five-time author Ralph Brewer shares insights from his new book "Rebuild: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man."

Ralph draws from his own experience of infidelity, sudden single fatherhood, and rebuilding from scratch, plus thousands of coaching sessions and community discussions with men in similar situations. He explains why most men only begin rebuilding after a "holy shit moment" – like divorce, layoffs, or the slow realization of an unfulfilling life – and how avoiding that work earlier leads to repeated pain.

Key topics covered:

Why men often lose themselves by orbiting around their wives and saying "yes dear" to everything.

The dangers of "Nice Guy" behavior and covert contracts that breed resentment.

How neediness repels partners and why self-validation is essential

The seven pillars of rebuilding: a practical blueprint for identity, mission, values, habits, and boundaries

Common mistakes in dating and vetting partners, including ignoring red flags due to scarcity mindset

Taking full ownership of your life instead of falling into victimhood

Practical tools like journaling, structured routines, and setting clear boundaries.

Ralph Brewer's Resources:

Buy ReBuild on Amazon: https://a.co/d/jl9UQHk

Helpformen.com

Learn more at readrebuild.com.

Join Monica's Community Here: https://www.skool.com/modernmarriagewithmonica/about?ref=ef239ca470a34e648243770616f65c73

Benefits such as:

1. Early Access to Videos

3. Ability to ask Monica Questions Directly

4. Group Coaching

5. Detailed Video Outlines

6. A Community of Quality Men to Discuss You Unique Relationship Problems With

Contact Monica:

Interested in Coaching? Send me an email at [email protected].

Have a Question? Send us an email to [email protected] and We May Just Answer it in one of our videos!

How to Create and Maintain Long-Term Sexual Attraction Course: Learn the six pillars of attraction, how women tick, and how to reignite your marriage—without her even needing to know. Click below for details

https://www.smokinghotmarriage.com/6799b46c

Socials:

https://www.instagram.com/modernmarriagewithmonica

https://www.facebook.com/MonicaAlmaguerPodcast

https://x.com/MonicaMAlmaguer

https://open.spotify.com/show/3U91DRFsdIsReiou3hMA26

With divorce rates hovering around 50% and women initiating 70-80% of them, many men are left wondering if marriage is even worth it in today’s world. While it’s easy to blame modern women, the legal system, or the institution itself, the truth is far more uncomfortable: most marriages don’t fail because of one person alone. Men play a massive role in their own marital downfall — often through repeated, predictable mistakes that could have been avoided.

In this video, Monica from The Feminine Lane breaks down the five most common mistakes men make that dramatically increase the chances of divorce, based on years of coaching thousands of men and analyzing patterns from real marriages.

You’ll discover:

Why rushing past the honeymoon phase without proper vetting sets you up for disaster (and how long you actually need to see her true colors)

The critical expectations and standards most men never voice until it’s too late — especially around sex, leadership, and household roles

How abandoning masculine leadership turns attraction into resentment (and why there always has to be a captain of the ship)

The avoidance of conflict that men mistake for “keeping the peace” — and how it actually piles unbearable weight onto your wife

Why skipping a prenup is one of the biggest red-flag tests you can give a woman (and the shocking reactions that reveal her real intentions)

This isn’t about bashing women or declaring marriage dead. It’s about giving men an unfair advantage: the exact patterns that destroy marriages so you can reverse-engineer them, fix what’s fixable, and build a relationship with far better odds of lasting a lifetime.

If you’re dating, engaged, or already married and want to protect your future, this video is a must-watch. Thousands of men have used these insights to course-correct and create stronger, happier marriages.

Leadership Video's:

https://youtu.be/Wjt4ncKI9c4

https://youtu.be/OT3nzllYRfQ

Join Monica's Free Community Here: https://www.skool.com/modernmarriagewithmonica/about?ref=ef239ca470a34e648243770616f65c73

Benefits such as:

1. Early access to videos

2. Free access to Marriage Meter: A Quick & Easy Way to Assess Your Marriage Health

3. Ability to ask Questions Directly

Contact Monica:

Interested in Coaching? Send me an email at [email protected].

Have a Question? Send us an email to [email protected] and We May Just Answer it in one of our videos!

How to Create and Maintain Long-Term Sexual Attraction Course: Learn the six pillars of attraction, how women tick, and how to reignite your marriage—without her even needing to know. Click below for details

https://www.smokinghotmarriage.com/6799b46c

Socials:

https://www.instagram.com/modernmarriagewithmonica

https://www.facebook.com/MonicaAlmaguerPodcast

https://x.com/MonicaMAlmaguer

https://open.spotify.com/show/3U91DRFsdIsReiou3hMA26

Timestamps:

0:00 – Why Men Are Asking “Is Marriage Even Worth It?”

2:45 – The Real Reason Marriages Fail (It’s Not Just Her)

6:12 – Mistake #1: Improper Vetting (The Honeymoon Trap)

14:28 – Mistake #2: Never Laying Out Expectations Upfront

22:19 – Mistake #3: Forgetting to Lead (There Can Only Be One Captain)

29:55 – Mistake #4: Avoiding Problems Like the Plague

36:40 – Mistake #5: Not Getting a Prenup (The Ultimate Litmus Test)

44:18 – Final Thoughts: Marriage Isn’t Broken — How We Do It Is

Wife Says No to Sex? What Married Men Should Actually Do When Rejected (Pragmatic Advice for Real Marriages)

Every married man gets turned down for sex eventually — whether you have a high-sex marriage or you’re already in a low-sex or sexless one. The real question is: what should you do in that moment without building resentment, losing your masculine frame, or letting her libido permanently control yours?

In this video, Monica breaks down the only two realistic options when your wife says “no” (do nothing/transmute the energy OR take care of yourself), why society pushes the first option as the only “moral” choice, and why that narrative keeps men stuck in a female-led sexual frame.

You’ll learn: The exact “order of operations” that keeps you in your masculine frame

Why masturbation in marriage is NOT automatically cheating or a betrayal

The real risks and benefits of solo release (with and without using adult online entertainment) backed by data.

How frequent ejaculation actually lowers prostate cancer risk and improves mood

Why seeking permission or hiding it destroys your frame (and transparency fixes it)

How being upfront about handling your own needs often motivates her to say yes more often

Why constant rejection without an outlet creates resentment and dead bedrooms

This is not religious shaming and not dead-bedroom recovery (different topic). This is pragmatic, common-sense advice for the majority of marriages where desire mismatch is normal and the man is expected to “just deal with it” forever.

Join Monica's Free Community Here: https://www.skool.com/modernmarriagewithmonica/about?ref=ef239ca470a34e648243770616f65c73

Benefits such as:

1. Early access to videos

2. Free access to Marriage Meter: A Quick & Easy Way to Assess Your Marriage Health

3. Ability to ask Questions Directly

Contact Monica:

Interested in Coaching? Send me an email at [email protected].

Have a Question? Send us an email to [email protected] and We May Just Answer it in one of our videos!

How to Create and Maintain Long-Term Sexual Attraction Course: Learn the six pillars of attraction, how women tick, and how to reignite your marriage—without her even needing to know. Click below for details

https://www.smokinghotmarriage.com/6799b46c

Socials:

https://www.instagram.com/modernmarriagewithmonica

https://www.facebook.com/MonicaAlmaguerPodcast

https://x.com/MonicaMAlmaguer

https://open.spotify.com/show/3U91DRFsdIsReiou3hMA26

Join Monica's Free Community Here: https://www.skool.com/modernmarriagewithmonica/

Benefits such as:

1. Early access to videos

2. Free access to Marriage Meter: A Quick & Easy Way to Assess Your Marriage Health

3. Ability to ask Questions Directly

Richard Cooper is BACK with his explosive new book The Top Shelf Man and he’s dropping red-pill truth bombs on wealth, women, and why most men fail in relationships. If you loved The Unplugged Alpha, this is the UPGRADE.

Why Wealth is NON-NEGOTIABLE for Men

Money = Options, Power, and Attraction

Women are hypergamous: they want 20-25%+ better than them

A rich man changes a broke woman’s life… but a rich woman won’t touch a broke guy

The Problems that Come When a Woman Out Earns Her Man

When SHE out-earns HIM and he stagnates.

Real story: Mechanic funds wife’s law degree → she divorces him → he dies of a broken heart.

The 4 Male Quadrants Where Do YOU Rank?

70-80% Plugged-In Betas

Escape the “Happy Wife, Happy Life” trap

Entrepreneurship & Recurring Revenue = Freedom

Why MRR (Monthly Recurring Revenue) beats one-off sales

Trades are great… but not scalable like Netflix or SaaS

Green Flags vs Red Flags in Women

Look for: Cheerleader energy, emotional maturity, fitness discipline

Avoid: Dark triad, contempt, “boss babe” masculinity

Hypergamy NEVER Sleeps — Even After Marriage

Burden of performance is on YOU

Nice Guy vs Kind Man: Stop people-pleasing

Use controlled jealousy to keep desire alive

Get The Top Shelf Man NOW on Amazon https://a.co/d/dmaXTgL

Check out Richard Cooper's website www.richcooper.ca

Featured Product: Cup Cozy Pillow – The #1 gift for men & women!

Soft, portable cup holder for drinks, snacks, remotes

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Contact Monica:

Interested in Coaching? Send me an email at [email protected].

Have a Question? Send us an email to [email protected] and We May Just Answer it in one of our videos!

How to Create and Maintain Long-Term Sexual Attraction Course: Learn the six pillars of attraction, how women tick, and how to reignite your marriage—without her even needing to know.

Click below for details https://www.smokinghotmarriage.com/6799b46c

Socials:

https://www.instagram.com/modernmarriagewithmonica

https://www.facebook.com/MonicaAlmaguerPodcast

https://x.com/MonicaMAlmaguer

https://open.spotify.com/show/3U91DRFsdIsReiou3hMA26