Modest Humanity

~Bear With Me~

"Once I tell you
You're gonna start 
noticing it
A lot
So many artists
Begin their performance
With the words
Bear with me 
Ain't words nifty
I just started writing again
I just lost a really good friend
I just got out of a really long bad
sad relationship
Bear with me
My dog my job my sanity
ran away from me
I just wrote this
On the train
to keep from crying
Bear with me
I'm getting dramatic
cuz I'm afraid of dying 
Bear with me
You are a bear
You're a fuckin' bear man
with these huge fucking claws
And you don't even know
what to do with them
You're just poking
at this little bunny rabbit
just poking at it
with these huge fucking claws
You're a fucking bear man
Bear with me
A four star chef once told me
Never say
Just
Before you describe your art
Oh it's just...
Fuck that
It is.
Simplicity is sophistication
Balance is key
Perfection is a lie
It is what it is.
There is no just.
I felt that
A lot
I feel
A lot
And sometimes
It's a lot
And i finally figured out that
It's not feelings that fuck me up
It's when I get feelings about my feelings
That really fucks me up
And those feelings had me out of control feeling
for pretty much as long as I can remember
And it took feeling that crazy
To finally talk about it
And break down the logistics
Of my logic
And here's the thing
Words are what
We make
Bees make honey
We make words
Sounds
Vibrations
Energy 
Push it out into the world
It ripples on endlessly
We are all made up 
of the same
basic technology
You can argue the truth
And nothing changes that fact
That every single syllable
manifests into reality
Truth is so transient
It's perception
It's not real
Just ask a schizophrenic
Or early onset alzheimer's 
How could I say
my reality
Is any more than theirs?
What kind of monster
would that make me?
I cant justify inequities
Cant understand why it's this life
I get to lead
How I once lived with so much pain
and now somehow
I have even more to give an less to gain
At this point not even an exploding star 
could stop me
I am a living breathing expanding 
capacity for captivity
Caught up in the moment
it's a learned progressive proclivity
That miraculously comes 
more and more naturally to me
in perfect time
See nothing is too fast
Nothing is too slow
It all is
What do I want to talk about?
What do I want to do about it?
What am I gonna do about it?
I wanna talk about what I love
Stop hating what I hate
I wanna stop having to 
complain to relate
I don't wanna march in a circle
Im drawing lines that run 
straight
Down to the women's shelter
The old folks home
The home for abused and
abandoned children
on their way to foster care
What can we do with this
energy?
I will never ask you to bear with 
me
Cuz those words have teeth
and claws and jaws
Listen for it
You'll hear it a lot 
Bear with me
poets stop excusing yourselves
Do or do not
There is not try
Fuck up
And keep going
we love you even more for it
You've got these huge fuckin' claws."


- Stacy Renee Eden

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