On a trip to Australia, Greta meets the the delightful, the delectable and the shaggable Magnolia Thunderpussy and witnesses the ascendance of one queen and the decline of another.

How I came to be bad-ass in Wyoming.  If you come lookin', you better come armed.

Being accused of something you didn't do is a sting which won't go away.  When it strikes at your personal hygiene and cleanliness, it is especially cruel.

In the words of the Police, I can't stand losing.  So I have hit upon an attitude which means I never lose; never take part.

We are only the stars in our own life-movie.  In everyone else's we're just an extra.  This is the story of an extra in my life movie, George.  One day I realised he had plans of his own.

Birds and tortoises; two creatures which give me the creeps.  How did such harmless animals becomes symbols of terror for me?  It all comes down to childhood trauma.  Well, 'trauma' is over-stating it.  But the incidents scared the crap out of me.  Oh, and guinea pigs; I have a thing about them, too.

Greta moves on to primary school where he clashes with the monarchy, becomes a socialist, learns to read and adjusts to the smell of rotting corpses.

Most children are put on stage at some point, whether they want it or not.  You are never too young to be dressed up, taught lines and thrust in front of a roomful of people.  Some thrive, some die.

This is my acting career.  Those who shine brightest, burn shortest.

Doing business in a pre-internet age; before the Rag and Bone man was a singer.
(Parental warning; this podcast does contain Max Bygraves).

Pimping your mum out for free ice cream.  A whole new meaning to 'Shall I put a flake in that?'