When I first started homeschooling I thought everything would go so smoothly, but, boy, was I ever wrong! It seems like life didn’t slow down for me, it ramped up.
And, as the mom of 15 energetic children, here’s one thing I’ve learned about change:
It’s inevitable.
It seemed like I would just get to a place where I felt comfortable, and then something would upset my carefully controlled world, such as a job change or morning sickness.
I know you can relate.
Finally, I stopped expecting everything to stay “copasetic” and did something different
.
Instead of fighting the waves, I started using their energy to get myself ahead.
Looking back, I can see the pattern clearly, and I think this will be quite helpful for you today as a homeschooling mom.
Here are the three reoccurring waves of family life:
* Shock and Awe: The time when we are served with the news of the big change.
* Adjustment: The time when we are taking in the new situation and attempting to adapt.
* Normalization: When the change is no longer “strange” but becomes our new “normal.”
If you think about it, we are constantly living in the midst of one of these waves.
The trick is to find a way to homeschool which will work no matter which one we find ourselves in.
Now, some changes are joyous; such as the birth of a new baby or a move to a nicer house. But many are sad, such as the death of a loved one, a stint of unemployment, or a life-altering illness.
It’s in those times that we need to keep our wits about us, especially if we are in charge of our child’s education.
Keep in mind:
* The basics of homeschooling do not take 180 days a year, six hours a day.
* Real life is also a great part of a well-rounded education. When children pack a house, tend to a sick loved one, and witnesses how adults navigate life changes, they learn more than any curriculum could ever teach.
* Families (along with homeschooling) break down when we get overwhelmed and paralyzed and stall at one of the stages instead of adapting and moving forward.
There are so many examples of this in the Bible, with one of the greatest being the story of Joseph. Just think how his life changed drastically as he was sold into slavery, unjustly accused and placed in prison, and then suddenly made second in authority to the king. In each situation we find he practiced the three cycles of change and crisis with great patience and trust in God’s bigger plan.
When we are considering homeschooling through change and crisis, the trick is to find routines and materials which will work no matter which of the stages we’re going through.
Vintage materials have been my go-to’s because they were created to accommodate the different waves of life.
* They aren’t age-graded, so you can jump in and jump out whenever necessary.
* The material covered is concentrated, so they are compact. You can cart them with you to doctor’s visits, airplane terminals, and the in-laws’ house.
* They are excellent enough to keep kids progressing without spending loads of time each day.
Now I would like to share with you an approach which will help you make the most of the energy of each wave.
I’ve never actually tried surfing with a board, but I have body surfed before. One of the tricks is to know when to paddle softly, when to paddle vigorously, and when to lie still and allow the crest of a wave to carry you along.
Just as there are different levels activity when riding real waves, there are also different levels of activity when riding the waves of life.
And that’s what I want to show you today.
Here’s how to approach each of the wave stages:
1. Shock and Awe stage:
Attempts to keep the previous stage of “normalcy” turn into frustration, and the uncertainty can turn into panic and fear.
* Let go of what you’ve come to know as “normal” and do these things instead:
* Let your kids in. Discuss what’s going on, allow them to give input on how the perceive things, etc.
* Let everything else go and concentrate on the basics of keeping everyone safe and healthy.
* Make prayer and Bible reading a priority.
2. Adjustment Time:
This is when you begin to assess your new situation.
* Your focus is on creating systems and routines adapted to your new life season.
* Continue with Bible and prayer, and perhaps add in a good read-aloud with some family discussion.
* Slowly add in the other, most basic academic elements (the Four Pillars). Nothing fancy or elaborate.
3. Normalization:
This is when you develop daily and weekly rhythms. Besides the Bible and read alouds you have been enjoying, you add in The McGuffey readers, some Gentle Grammar or Harvey’s Grammar, and some arithmetic.
After you feel solid again, you can start adding in more variety and creativity, including some unit studies, notebooking, and the like.
This is how I finally learned to make friends with the upsetting waves of life while homeschooling our children.
Finally, I would like to leave you with some thoughts I believe will give you hope and comfort:
The following quote has been attributed to Elizabeth Elliot, who experienced the death of two or her husbands and spent two years among the indigenous peoples of the Amazon Rain Forest:
There is no perfect life, no perfect job, no perfect childhood, no perfect marriage, and no perfect set of people who always do what we expect them to do.
What we have is a perfect God Who is able to lead us through this imperfect life with unfailing strength, incomparable wisdom, and infinite love.
This quote has been attributed to John Piper:
Occasionally, weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have.
In case you were wondering, I am Sherry Hayes, the mom of 15 who’s been homeschooling for over 37 years. My passion is to encourage other mommies on their journey to glorify their God and love their families.
I hope you have found something valuable and strengthening in this message, and I hope you will subscribe and follow along as we travel this journey together.
You can also find me on my YouTube Mom Delights channel, and you can take advantage of lots of free resources on my website, MomDelights.com.
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