Hola Funky Media listeners. Well it all started with a lockdown and here we all are a year later, who would believe I'd still be talking to you ? Yep, its Essex here, feeling a little like Shirley Valentine talking to the wall sometimes but the feedback and comments have been lovely and some quite funny. So I'd like to thank you for all of those. Now I'm going to get all soft and mushy. No, I'm not, I'm going to tell you how things have changed. So, here is a brief reminder. This time last year, we were a week away from masks becoming obligatory in Spain. We closed our municipalities yet strangely enough, the international borders remained open. I never did understand that. Then came all the restrictions with the exceptions at Christmas, where we were given a little bit more freedom by an hour or two. I've reported to you on three or four major devastating fires we've had here. Quite a few diligent, shall we say, Police officers on patrol for one thing or another. I've warned you about scammers and I've brought you the wackiest stories in the world I could find and we've all come through it together. And here we are, a year on, and I'm still chewing your ear off on a weekly basis. I think, maybe the strangest part of the year for me was the filming of ' Bargain loving Brits in the Sun', in the middle of a pandemic and then bizarrely reliving it on the screen. I've met some lovely people, who have come up to me and I can't deny it has generated a lot of business for my awnings and shade company called ´Ace of Shades´. Great name huh ? which is welcome in this current climate, when everyone is trying their best to keep their businesses, ticking over. Oddly enough Channel Five like to get a bit of bang for their buck. So, the TV show is rerun all the time and yesterday while we were milling about the house doing stuff. Oddly enough with the TV on in the background, we suddenly popped up on the screen. That was a surprise. So where are we now ? Well, that's a good question.......

The Costa del Sol is coming out of hibernation. There is definitely a lot more traffic and people about but fewer bars and places that unfortunately didn't weather the COVID storm. On the good side, there are some new businesses popping up. So hope is looming on the horizon for us here as six Costa resorts can now extend their shopping hours to seven days a week until September 30th, which is great, cos, who doesn't love a bit of shopping ? Normally, other than the busy, bars and restaurants. Everything here is closed on a Sunday. I never understood that either. I know it's for religious reasons but shouldn't people be given a choice whether they want to open up or not. They're crying out for money here yet, the one day in the week, when most people are at home and maybe want to do a bit of DIY or spend a few quid. Forget it, because everything is closed. So the shops opening up early this year is fab, as they don't usually do that until July. Also, as of today, Spain has lifted its ban on international cruise ships docking, as has Italy. Another 60 associations and companies have lifted their restrictions. I'm not sure what the pandemic criteria needed for passengers is in each country but I would imagine the cruise companies are well prepared for it. Let's face it, they've had long enough to get their ducks in a row,

Just to throw it in there. The weather is fabulous here now, as I'm sure you're probably all aware but then we do get 325 days of sunshine per year. So, what's not to like ? Now I do feel really, really sorry for those people who booked their holiday, their summer holiday to Portugal. They've hardly had time to unpack and sample the local Piri Piri chicken before Boris's has slapped them right back on the amber list, giving them the option of either scrambling for that last minute extortionate flight back to the UK, before the witching hour, or deciding to return and face 10 days of quarantine upon arrival. This is crazy, isn't it ? Yet, just a couple of weeks ago, they let Manchester City and Chelsea and their fans travel over for a Champions League football game in Porto, and I have to ask, Was that wise ? Could it have been a bit too early, and now the UK travellers are paying the price because of it. Listen, I'm no football pundit but why did Portugal, need to have two major league British teams and fans, play a game in Portugal. For safety sake. Why didn't they keep it at home and play at Wembley ?? Greed is the answer ! Discussions were actually held over the possibility of switching to Wembley but the UK Government was unable to agree to UEFA´s request for 2000 quarantine exemptions for sponsors VIPs and broadcasters. So Porto´s Estadio was then chosen as the alternate venue. Now they're back on the amber list and the poor people who booked a summer holiday there now are stuffed, Spain,.... we're still on the leprosy list, even though it's really safe here. Numbers are on the way down still, most of us have been vaccinated or have at least had one dose, and now there is talk, that in a couple more weeks in Spain, they're going to consider relaxing the mask rules in some open spaces, which will be a welcome relief, especially in this heat. Of course we still have to wear them to go into shops etc but I can live with that. It's just become a new normal for us here. In order to control things, restaurants and bars will only be allowed to offer food and drink until midnight this summer and must be closed by 1am. Fair enough, who in the heck eats dinner after 12pm anyway ? unless you're falling out of a pub with a greasy kebab shop in mind but for some reason, the UK Government is bent keen on not letting you make an informed and grown up decision to be able to enjoy a holiday abroad, and enjoy yourself safely. They require enough PCR tests !! Now, I have nothing against staycations, although I'm not a big fan of the cold and the rain, but a lot of people do enjoy a foreign holiday and this year it seems to be cheaper than a get away in the UK and that's if you can find anything available. Going abroad is, something a bit different, isn't it ? .... a bit of excitement, a bit of sand and sea, sampling different foods and cultures but those luxuries, have been stripped away from us. Even I'm getting sick of the sight of the Costa del Sol. I'd like to travel and see my children. After all, it's only been nearly two years. Between Brexit and COVID, It's no wonder people are going crazy. How long can you keep people locked up for ? .... and, when can we have some kind of normal back ?

Also here in Spain, we're expecting La Noche de San Juan, which is approaching on June, 23rd. It´s the night that kicks off the summer season here. It's a fun night as anyone who has experienced it will tell you. A festival that is celebrated on the beach with family and friends. Bonfires barbecues, sometimes fireworks and here is what happens at midnight. Let me explain.......It's a big party on the beach with music and laughter and then at midnight, you're supposed to jump over the bonfire. write your wishes for the months ahead and the things that you want to say goodbye to on a piece of paper, and on the night of San Juan you throw those pieces into the bonfires of St John. This symbolises liberation from the past, and hope for the future. After that you run into the sea, picturing those wishes coming true. Fountains and natural water resources become magic and have healing properties. Isn't that lovely thought ? It is the holiday of St John the Baptist and that is why the water is so relevant in this Fiesta, but unfortunately, like last year, it looks like La Noche de San Juan, will not be celebrated, once again.

Finally, I can't leave you without bringing a smile. While we're on the subject of water, it seems an international incident of biblical proportions has kicked off on Ipswich´s waterfront. A replica of Noah's Ark is currently stuck there, because it doesn't have the correct paperwork to say that it's sea worthy. The Ark arrived at Orwell Quay in November 2019 and it's been detained there for 18 months, ever since by the Coast Guard. The 2.6 million biblical Museum, is owned by a Dutch TV producer called Aad Peters, who's trying his level best for an exemption to be allowed to return to Holland, but the Coast Guard has serious concerns and insists that it's not safe. Huh !! ....They seem to let enough people travel from France on Dinghies. They even assist them !! The craft was due to leave on April 1 but because of the stalemate, it's been racking up 500 pounds a day in fines ever since. The Coast Guard found a range of issues including overdue services for life saving equipment. Overdue services ? only by a few 1000 years in my opinion, they're referring to life jackets fire kit, and lifeboats. They said that they couldn't rely on the ´Grace of God´ to let the boat leave. Hey Noah, what were you thinking ?.... but Noah never had these problems, because God didn't say anything to Noah about the lack of life jackets and lifeboats. Can you imagine telling God. "No, it's not good, the UK have deemed the Ark unseaworthy. So, can you hold off with the rains for a while until we get the relevant paperwork." Towage plans have now been made for the Ark to return to the Netherlands but the vessel is still awaiting towage approval to depart from the UK. I bet those camels are getting the right hump !!

Well mis amigos. I'm going to bring one year of broadcasting to an end. Once again thank you for a fun year and your indulgence and kindness for putting up with me and my wild rants. If you've got any questions or something you want me to talk about, please get in touch. I'd love to hear from you. I will be back next week with week 53 of news and madness from Spain. Until then, have a great week everyone. Stay safe and as always from me, Michelle, Hasta Luego from the Costa del Sol.

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