Mommy Heroes

Announcement for Birthing Ourselves, Childbirth Preparation Groups on Zoom. We are born as parents in this time and the group includes broad ideas of transformation in addition to more standard need to know and do subjects. Give a listen and see if it is for you or a loved one. Then check it out after April 16, 2020 at birthingourselves.com

How many of you feel like your productivity is too low as a mom? Where is that pressure coming from? How do you deal with it, work with it, or overcome it? Here is my experience.

We discuss:

• Feminine vs Feminist in the healthcare arena
• Going from the status of victim to feeling empowered
• Women in healthcare evolving to bring more feminine qualities instead of females acting out male qualities or fighting the system just to be heard
• Feminine qualities in healthcare including nurturing, listening, nourishing, connection to mother earth, and holding space and allowing the individual to do their work in healing
• The Radiant Wellcare Summit as a perfect example of bringing more feminine healing qualities into the healthcare arena
• How good it is for women to have men that consciously use balanced masculine/feminine energy in their daily lives and healing modalities and also how good it is for other men to witness that
• Seeing and hugging Amma, “The Hugging Saint.”
• Amma as an excellent example of feminine energy in healing by her enormous sense of presence
• personal development events having a lasting effect vs. the high/low experience of some, where you have to re-enter the mundane
• The importance of having people to connect with and be around physically as a part of healing
• Nurturing each other as care providers is an excellent example of the feminine in healthcare
• Connecting with your colleagues as a form of self-care
• Values she has shared with her awesome daughter, Marissa and natural consequences, intuition, and leading with love
• Her love languages
• She didn’t always see herself with children, but her experience of life brought her to the understanding of wanting to mother
• Her grandmother as a role model of femininity
• Her marriage and how growth as a human being defines their growth as a couple and the discomfort it involves in sometimes sharing what they don’t want to hear and pushing comfort zones.
• Her ideal day and how her energy works on her circadian rhythm.
• Taking time out every week to nurture her marriage
• Feminine Strong
• Finding the sweet spot of energy management
• How academic settings, even of holistic studies, do not necessarily nurture holistic health
• Her mommy heroes: everyday friends that inspire her and feel safe around
• The dance and flow of finding the ever-elusive balance in life, health, work

Amma, "The Hugging Saint"

The Mastery of Love by Miguel Ruiz

The 5 Love Languages

SoulMama

Mary's talk at the Wellcare Summit

Facebook

Facebook: Feminine Strong

Samastaglobal health foundation.org

Facebook: Samasta Global Health

Episode 06 Show Notes: Nicole Tiffany Cruz, The “The Super Busy Mommy Coach”

We discuss:

• How she helps busy parents reach high levels of fitness and health despite being sleep deprived and constantly interrupted
• Setting up the ideal work environment for her meant having her son nearby
• How divorce took that opportunity from her, but she is recreating it
• Appreciation for her current full-time employment but she is non-complacent in her commitment to building a more balanced lifestyle through her business building
• Knowing patience and time are needed to be realistic about scaling her business while raising her 4-year-old son
• Dealing with “mommy guilt” vs. seeing the whole picture and knowing her commitment to herself in building a better life for her and her son
• How important it is to set examples of doing what she loves to her child
• How a “calling” to do this work is both a blessing and a curse
• Founding her business on her problem of not finding enough time to workout and sharing her solution with others
• Training is based on interruption/recovery and is results-driven. It is done at home which is the situation when you have young children needing attention
• The integration of technology with this type of coaching is perfect for how busy she and other parents are
• Physical training and nutritional coaching sessions are better retained in bite-size pieces that she delivers via text and or video.
• How her training is very efficient by spending 10 minutes before work and other bite-sized chunks of time
• How she uses her long commute on the subway to her benefit to either produce work or meditate
• Spending 2-3 hours a week on meal prep
• Prioritizing sleep
• Supplements that help her, but they are not the first option for her clients
• Seeing her work as a mother as “the most important work in the world
• Imparting values to her son: health/strength, wisdom, and mindfulness, dealing with adversity and facing fears
• There are not many moms she knows that are on a similar path and she often has to carve her path to find a way
• The deep connection she has with her son and how intertwined her happiness is with his

superbusymommycoach.com

Facebook

Twitter

Today's show is a shortish monologue of a very real event that happened in my life, that set the stage for the beauty to come. Yoda's saying comes to mind: "Do or do not. There is no Try."

This is the first of several shorter summer episodes of me riffing on some Mommy Stories. In this episode, I share the story of my new book, 52 Ways to Love Yourself Postpartum, and how it came to be. This was just a quick idea that I had that a few people encourage me along and I learned the value of having great people around that lift you up and ultimately the whole community is lifted with you. 

In this episode, Kerena Saltzman, LCSW, and expert in Relational Intelligence shares:

• How her daughter’s birth helped her leap from 1 on 1 therapy to working with a team, presenting, and leading large groups
• Esalen Institute introduced her to Gestalt Therapy and got her around leaders like Sam Keen and Ram Dass
• Working with 20 somethings and the generational difference of the strength and ownership the younger women have around their education and sexuality
• How her career works with her husband and sharing home offices, chores, delegation and responsibility of family life
• Taking regular time weekly alone with her husband to stay connected and prioritize their relationship
• How her knowledge in her career plays out in her home
• About placing value on being together as a family, even if that being together is not pretty or comfortable and how she models that for her daughter
• How she toggles between high focus time and relaxed time within her day
• Self-reflection on operating from her values and adjusting accordingly
• The importance of her network of support: women’s groups and the mirror that they hold up for her to help her grow
• Having a little bit of space every day to see and feel what is calling out to her and not just “leaning out” to care for others without checking in with herself
• How space creates a leadership quality of Envisioning
• About the transformation of seeing her “thing” as important, not just her husband’s “thing” as important
• How other people gave her opportunities to step into her power which helped her build confidence
• Going through the pitfalls of where we get stuck vs. where we get supported
• Imposter’s syndrome and how that is so common for women
• Becoming a mother after coming growing up in a large family and how she wanted to do things differently
• How birth felt like a major accomplishment
• Once her daughter was born, it felt like learning a whole new job and “overwhelm” was a common feeling
• How some moms are optimized staying home, and other’s need their work; important to find what feels good to you as a mom
• How “SHOULDs” run in the background of being a mother and there is high social pressure
• Choosing to have a child comes with the full ride and how it was to take the ride that has so many surprises
• Motherhood is ultimately a GROWTH journey
• How easy it is to forget the intensity of early motherhood just like the intensity of birth
• Sometimes survival is what is happening with early motherhood and knowing it’s temporary
• Shifting to a mindset of acceptance in order to face some of the biggest stuff you are going to handle
• Identifying your version of success, not somebody else's
• How her mommy hero was her surgeon, Laura Esserman, who sang to her on the operating table and helped her know she was partnering with her medical team and engaged in her healing

Links:

Laura Esserman, MD

Maya Angelou-Phenomenal Woman

Kerena Saltzman

Kerena's Esalen Retreat Sept. 2019

In this episode we discuss:

• Her children and her experience with their surrogate pregnancies
• The trust needed to have someone else carry your children in their womb
• Being invited at both of the births of her children
• How the surrogate mothers also pumped their breastmilk for her children and what it took to get it on a regular basis
• The vision her husband had of their two children even before they knew how they would come
• The interviewing of her children and what they told her about what makes a good parent
• How her children hoped for her engagement with them and freedom to be themselves
• How she provides a rich environment for her kids, to have a “playground" where they don’t have to be afraid of messing it up
• The under-scheduling of her kids to have the unrushed, openness of time
• Her daughter’s statement “punishment is not going to work for me” at age 4
• The recent experience of her daughter being thrown from a horse and how it changed Paddy's life for the better
• What it did for her to have this “horrific” experience of fear when her daughter was injured and had to have emergency surgery
• How her daughter taught her “mommy lessons” of handling her hospitalization with grace and engaged healing
• The choice we have to engage with the light or darkness of any experience
• How she kept hearing the words “you don’t have the luxury to indulge in your fear.”
• The power moms have to see that our constant choice to keep living we attribute to our kids, but ultimately it's for our growth
• How Rupert Sheldrake’s Morphic Resonance is playing out in this next generation. Our children seem to be born with an inner knowing we didn’t directly teach them
• That we seem to be the bridge between the past and the present by carrying the “epigenes” of our ancestors to help the newer generations thrive in this new “vibratory state” Paddy calls the “New Matrix” where light thrives
• There are no accidents, only opportunities

I miss quoted Rumi, but it was Kahlil Gibran's poem On Children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, 
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, 
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, 
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, 
and He bends you with His might 
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, 
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Rupert Sheldrake's Morphic Resonance

Episode 05 Show Notes: Ellie Hamner, The Happy Memory Maker

We discuss:

• Having a great appreciation for the ability to be unemployed and raise her kids
• How this has helped her know them, learn from them, and understand them more fully
• One of the biggest gifts of staying home is not being tied to her computer
• Defining work: do unemployed moms not work or do they work very hard in a different capacity?
• How she creates every meal from scratch, breakfast, lunch, and dinner and makes them a work of art
• How she photographs her meals and is working on starting a public Instagram page for her creations
• How cooking was passed down from her great-great-grandmother
• How becoming a mom expands horizons of becoming more fully human and food has been a big part of that expansion
• Her unusual childhood and how it contributed to her awesome life and gave her sense of adventure, a sense of challenge, and more skills and focus
• How her childhood in nature seems like a lost way of living
• How she wants to give her kids the freedom to learn about themselves
• How the very early morning is her centering and clarity time as a mom
• She shares the quiet early morning and “quiet time” as a skill with her kids
• How exercise contributes to her mental strength
• Her relationship with her husband gives her support to be her best
• How being in the sandwich generation with aging parents and young children has given her extra skills to navigate how to share her energy
• Creating memories for her children with their grandparents has been an integral part of her parenting
• How all moms are heroes to her and how vulnerability with them helps her to connect and soak up what she needs to learn from them

Here is the awesome chef who made her birthday dinner:

John Paul Lechtenberg

In this episode, Gina Scott, nurse and continuing student shares:

• How exercise holds her together as a woman and a mom
• The importance of doing what you say
• The importance of having a “why”
• Being comfortable with the uncomfortable
• What is important over the long haul; not just the moment
• Not giving up, if she didn’t do well, she has to get up and do it again
• Movement comes naturally to her so; she has to find a challenge, like learning the splits
• The importance of having her kids and grandkids around her to feel whole
• Keeping a balance of having social engagement even in a busy student schedule
• Learning to be gentle to herself as she grew older
• How golfing is a passion for her and is an analogy for life
• How taking the first step in a process is the hardest and everything else is a little easier
• How we need other women to push us along and maybe even save us at times
• How she didn’t plan to have kids but felt like she had “arrived,” when she became a mother
• Surprise: “You have kids so you can have grandkids.”
• How she knew her first marriage was over when her desire to go to nursing school was unsupported
• How she loves to see her daughters support each other as young women
• How she inspired her daughter to become a nurse
• How losing her son to cancer showed her how she is the support for others in the same place and made her better nurse
• Not listening to the voice of guilt and moving through it
• Always asking “what am I supposed to be learning?” in any situation
• How you can’t be a victim in life. You have to do life
• Everyone can teach us something, even if you don’t like who they are.

Gina's instagram

Wim Hof Method

Steve Furtick

Ted Radio Hour