Today’s episode is really close to my heart. I want to share the story of why I started ISHA WARRIORS: TEEN YOGA and how it connects to the work I’m doing right now with suicide prevention. 

...And it all has to do with the fact that I want you to know that you are never alone!

Yoga helps us feel connected.  Before every class I teach, whether in person or a class I film to post on Youtube, and before every podcast I think about creating...I always ask myself, "What do teens need to hear?  How can I help them know they are not alone?"  

I have shown up again and again for ISHA WARRIORS; even though running this nonprofit has been the hardest endeavor of my life. So much I've had to learn! So many failures I've gotten to jump back up from!  (Sometimes less jumping than dragging!) I keep showing up because I care and I want to help you show up again and again, too. 

Yoga helps us feel seen; even more so when it is in person.  This Thursday, September 11th, ISHA WARRIORS is hosting NOT ALONE-a free in person event for teens and their families. 

There will be speakers who will inspire, a yoga routines that heals and the night always ends with lanterns on the lake...lanterns you get to decorate! 

So bring a friend and bring your mat and we will see you at the Washington Township Park pavilion the second Thursday of September! 

If you want to start a NOT ALONE event in your area check out this site to get ideas for how to do it.

https://ishawarriors.com/host-teen-notalone-event 

If you would like to specifically make a donation for future NOT ALONE suicide prevention events click here. 

“We are not meant to carry our burdens alone. Healing comes when we lift together.”

hugs,

Alli

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Have you ever walked into school on the first day and felt tightness in your shoulders or a pit in your stomach…you feel like everyone else knows what they are doing, everyone else has it together, everyone else has a friend…I am the only one feeling nervous, or no one even knows I exists…

RUPI KAUR once said, “the irony of loneliness is we all feel it together.” 

I promise you whatever you felt the first day or the tenth day of school…You’re not alone—there are hundreds of other teens feeling the exact same way.  Everyone feels insecure to a varying degree when we are put in new places and new beginnings. 

Connecting with others and being confident in new situations has always been one of my super powers. My natural propensity to love everyone and innate sincere curiosity to learn more about others’ stories makes it easier for me to naturally help others feel at ease, break down social barriers and make friends with just about anyone.  As I have seen people I love dearly struggle with doing these things I have comtemplated on what I do naturally that helps me feel self assured regardless of what situation I am facing.  And today I am going to share 6 super simple confidence hacks with you so even if you do not possess my same natural inclination to connect with others-you can still feel like you belong at school, work, church, on the team, at a party or wherever you find yourself.  

I want you to feel empowered and even maybe a little excited to make connections at school.  “There’s a quote I love that says: ‘Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone. It’s walking in and not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.’ 

Confidence doesn’t mean you are the loudest person in the room or the person who knows the most people at school. It’s about showing up as yourself, and having the courage to connect in a way that is honoring to your personality.  

I want you to feel like you belong. I want you to feeling like you are enough. That’s the kind of confidence I want to help you feel as you start this new school year.  These are 6 tools I know will help you get there! 

 The 6 S’s of Confidence.

1. Start the night before.

2. Shoulders-roll them back.

3. Smile - a slight turn of the corners of the mouth is all it takes. 

4. eStablish common ground

a. Notice small details.

b. Use the environment. 

c. Compliment someone.

d. Ask open ended questions. Get someone to talk about something they love.

5. Small steps - courage is taking it one step at a time. Check out Episode 123!!   https://www.buzzsprout.com/1934961/episodes/16432087

6. Self talk-be mindful how you speak to yourself.  If positive self talk eludes you; try neutral self talk...anything is more useful than negative self talk!!!  

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About Be Humanitarian

• Founded by Tobie Spears 13 years ago to provide basic needs (education, nutrition, English classes) to communities in Guatemala
• Name is a "call to action" encouraging others to find ways to make the world better
• Focuses on supporting whole families, helping parents thrive so children's lives improve

Benefits of Teen Volunteerism

• Builds empathy, confidence, leadership skills, and sense of purpose
• Exposes teens to global challenges and different cultures
• Creates lasting memories and bonds between participants
• Helps with college/job applications by demonstrating initiative
• Fundraising teaches valuable skills like communication and perseverance

Trip Activities and Logistics

• Combine service work with cultural experiences and fun activities
• Examples: Hiking volcanoes, releasing baby turtles, participating in festivals
• Stay in vetted Airbnbs/hotels, use trusted local drivers
• Trips planned around school breaks, can be tax-deductible
• $20/month sponsorships available to support ongoing programs

Tobie's Background

• Grew up with single mom on welfare, experienced receiving donated gifts/food
• Realized developing countries lack social services, motivated to help
• Started with coat drive as teen, learned value of collective action
• Now takes groups to Guatemala multiple times per year

Connect with Be Humanitarian 

Website

Facebook 

Youtube

Pinterest

Email: [email protected]

Check out these books! 

A Path Appears - Sheryl WuDunn & Nicholas Kristof
Half The Sky

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Click below to make a one time donation and help "Monday Mindset With ISHA WARRIORS" bring peace & empowerment to more teens all over the world!

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Free group parent workshop

The Rooted Relationship Program 

Youth Rising Coaching Website

Instagram

Butterfly Tap Video

Book: Befriending Your Nervous System- by Deb Dana

Understanding 

• Teen behavior is often just the "tip of the iceberg" visible to parents. Underlying the behavior are emotions, thoughts, and nervous system states
• Behavior is a communication of needs, wants, or fears.

Nervous System 

• Ventral state: Calm, safe, socially engaged ("sunbathing elephant")
• Sympathetic state: Fight/flight, high energy ("cheetah in action")
• Dorsal state: Shut down, disconnected ("bear in hibernation")
• Freeze state: High energy but immobilized ("deer in headlights")
• States are automatic protective responses, not consciously controlled

Techniques

• Yoga: Combines mindfulness, breathing, body awareness
• Longer exhales help activate the parasympathetic system
• Physical touch: Hand on chest, self-hug, weighted blankets
• Tapping: Butterfly taps or other bilateral stimulation
• Mindfulness: Non-judgmental awareness of present moment sensations
• Co-regulation: Connecting with a calm person to help regulate 

Parenting Strategies

• Practice regulation techniques regularly, not just in stressful moments
• Create a "safety sandwich" 
• Stay regulated yourself to co-regulate your teen
• Offer connection and validation, even when teens are dysregulated
• Understand

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Click below to make a one time donation and help "Monday Mindset With ISHA WARRIORS" bring peace & empowerment to more teens all over the world!

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Help ISHA WARRIORS help more teens! When we raise $2,000 we get to advertise this podcast and the free work we offer teens to 100,000 people! SHARE MONDAY MINDSET WITH MORE TEENS

Donations make it possible for us to continue to produce life changing podcasts and provide free yoga to teens!!  DONATE HERE

All of our teen yoga content is now FREE! Go check out www.ishawarriors.com

Today I have Sarah Johnson on. As co-founder of JamboJon, an Utah based website development company, Sarah’s unique experience with sales, psychology, and human connection give her the ability to create websites that marry technology, storytelling and graphics. 

Show Highlights:

What’s the same and different about teens today compared to our generation? Teens have unique struggles we never had to face. No one ever filmed us, we didn’t have a play by play of world wide catastrophes at our finger tips…teens empathy can be crippling and cause anxiety AND it can be their superpower because they are compassionate.

How I learned to Heal My Voice.

Jodi Brown’s Book, “Depression Fighter"

- What I thought the rules were about using my voice (always have to be nice, kind, polite, take care of others before self, hide in shame.)

- What I learned how powerful my voice can be. (Stand up for self, use voice for good, I don’t have to earn worthiness, I deserve to be loved. Kobe Campbell, “Healing isn’t becoming the best version of your self, healing is knowing that all the parts of yourself deserve to be loved.")

- Physical healing: deal with the physical problems (doctors, medicine, vitamins, taking care of my physical body)

- Emotional healing (Shadow work, facing what I fear, using my voice to create boundaries, being honest)

Sarah's new podcast with her daughter: Mom I’m Home!

Two generations exploring what it means to take brave risks and be adventurous, but also how important secure attachment and safe environments are to rest and digest.  (My daughter Anna is 22, an Art student. She and I host this podcast)

Why is rest so important?

Fight or Flight mode is designed to help us be superheroes- but it is intended for short term use…our problem is that we stay in this state. 

It is essential to have a space to reset and rest. Have a home to come back to. A safe place where we can face out emotions.

Science of Rats. The Self Driven Child by William

Stixrud and Ned Johnson. The National ScientificCouncil on the Developing Child for those 3 types of stress and their impact (of 13-15)National Scientific Council on the Developing Child, "Excessive Stress Disrupts the Architecture of the Developing Brain: Working Paper 3," Harvard University Center on the Developing Child, Reports &Working Papers, 2005, access May 16, 2017.

CHECK OUT MORE ABOUT SARAH:

Company Website: https://jambojon.com

Personal Website: ht

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Click below to make a one time donation and help "Monday Mindset With ISHA WARRIORS" bring peace & empowerment to more teens all over the world!

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What should you do if your friend is in an abusive relationship?! Find out what not to do and what will be most beneficial in this episode today. 

Help ISHA WARRIORS help more teens! If we raise $2,000 we get to advertise this podcast and the free work we offer teens to 100,000 people! SHARE MONDAY MINDSET WITH MORE TEENS

Donations make it possible for us to continue to produce life changing podcasts and provide free yoga to teens!!  DONATE HERE

I’ve gone in-depth in previous episodes as to what abuse in a relationship looks like, so if you are just joining me today, click on the links I will put in the show notes to get a better understanding of this really complex and often times confusing topic!  

What is the #1 Way to Prevent Teen Dating Violence?

What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?

Spot the Signs. Stop the Cycle.

Don't Settle For Less.

What NOT to Do:

"When we see a friend in a bad situation, our first instinct is to try and fix it. But there are some things you should avoid:

• Don’t attack the abuser directly. 
  
  
• Don’t blame or shame your friend. 
  
  
• Don’t try to force them out. 
  
  
• Don’t give up on them. 
  
  

What TO Do:

1. Be a safe space.
   
   
2. Talk, don’t pressure. 
   
   
3. Help them recognize the abuse. 
   
   
4. Give them resources. 
   
   
5. Help them create a safety plan. 
   
   
6. Be patient. 

RESOURCE LINKS:

https://www.teendvmonth.org/resources/

https://www.loveisrespect.org

https://jbws.org/services/#helpline

https://www.breakthecycle.org/

If in the USA-National Domestic Violence Hotline is: 800-799-7233

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I once bought a pair or cheap imitation Oakley sunglasses from a street vendor in NYC. I knew they weren't real, but they looked like the real thing for a whole lot less money. So I bought them. Annd they lasted a matter of days. A cheap knockoff isn't ever going to be the same quality as the real deal. 

You deserve the real deal in your relationships, but cheap imitations can look really convincing and you may find yourself settling for a knockoff-maybe without even realizing it. 

Today I talk about the REAL qualities of a healthy relationship versus the cheap imitations.

1. Love vs. Lust.

2. Protection/comfort/loyalty vs. Control.

3. BEING in a real relationship vs. SAYING you are in a relationship.

4. Service vs. Servitude.

5. True Self Worth vs. Feeling Worth Because You Are With Someone

6. Support vs. Strings Attached

7. Trust vs. Tell You What You Want to Hear

8. Respect vs. Fear Based Compliance

Love should never feel like a trap or a transaction. 

You deserve better! 

Here are some resources if you need help getting out of the situation you are in.

RESOURCE LINKS:

https://www.teendvmonth.org/resources/

https://www.loveisrespect.org

https://jbws.org/services/#helpline

https://www.breakthecycle.org/

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Click below to make a one time donation and help "Monday Mindset With ISHA WARRIORS" bring peace & empowerment to more teens all over the world!

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Help teens feel the (self!) love!! Help us upload all of our videos onto Youtube so teens all over the world can have access to the tools yoga has to offer them.

Donate HERE.

No matter who you are or who you love. You are worthy. You are worthy of being loved, being respected and being safe!

TEEN DATING VIOLENCE: A Silent Epidemic

We are living in a world where one in three students report experiencing some form of abuse, and more than 2/3 never report that abuse to a caring adult. A world where young people in more than 35 states still lack unfettered access to legal protection or other assistance to end an abusive relationship. A world where over 80% of school counselors report being unprepared to address incidents of abuse. This tells us – dating abuse isn’t just a big issue. It’s a growing epidemic.

EFFECTS OF DATING VIOLENCE:

Less attention to academics. Increased exposure to drugs and alcohol. A greater likelihood of teen pregnancy. Growing isolation. Sexual assault. Even one of these things can have a profound impact on the physical, social and emotional growth of a young person. Together, they create a perfect storm that not only affects the victim of abuse, but their friends, families, schools and surrounding communities. 

Every relationship exists along a spectrum…healthy …unhealthy…abusive…I do not want you to think if you have a fight with the person you love- then it must be a toxic relationship.  That is not true. You are different people, you have different perspectives and opinions and different personalities…you will disagree about things…you also will go through hard things at different times and handle them in different ways…keeping your relationship in a healthy, loving, thriving place takes effort, communication and time and a lot of grace for yourself and your partner.   

Both of you have equal value and importance-regardless of difference in money, gender, age, popularity, status, smarts…both of you are worthy of love, both of you have strengths that should be cheered on and weaknesses that should be supported not put down of exploited. 

WHY WOULD SOMEONE STAY IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?

1. Lack of experience- means you Lack Awareness

2. Emotional Attachment & Love

3. Low Self-Esteem & Self-Blame I HAVE TALKED ABOUT THIS ONE A LOT. 

4. Fear of Retaliation

5. Social Pressure & Stigma

6. Isolation & Dependency

7. Hope for Change

8. Lack of Support or Resources

9. Cultural or Family Beliefs

10. Digital & Social Media Influence

RED FLAGS

1. Controlling Behavior

2. Excessive Jealousy & Possessiveness

3. Isolation

4. Verbal & Emotional Abuse

5. Threats & Intimidation

6. Physical or Sexual Abuse

7. Digital & Social Media Abuse

RESOURCE LINKS:

https://www.teendvmonth.org/resources/

https://www.loveisrespect.org

https://jbws.org/services/#help

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DONATE TO "SAVE OUR VIDEOS" :  HELP TEENS FEEL THE LOVE 

8 Elements of a Healthy Relationship (adapted from the Duluth Model Equality Wheel) click here to go to jbws.org.

1.  Negotiation and Fairness: Partners seek mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict, can accept change and are willing to compromise. 
2. Non-Threatening Behavior: Partners speak and act in ways that cultivate and support a safe and comfortable environment in which they can express themselves and make decisions.
3. Respect: Partners listen non-judgmentally, are understanding and emotionally affirm and value their partner’s opinions.
4. Trust and Support: Partners support each other’s goals and respect each other’s feelings, friends, activities, contributions and opinions.
5. Honesty and Accountability: Partners accept responsibility for themselves, acknowledge past behaviors, can admit being wrong and communicate openly and truthfully.
6. Shared Responsibility:Partners reach mutual agreement on fair distribution of work and make family decisions together.
7. Economic Partnership: Partners make financial decisions together ensuring that both partners benefit from financial arrangements.
8. Responsible Parenting: Partners share parental responsibilities and are positive, non-violent role models for children

BOUNDARIES from loveisrespect.org

Digital- limitations created around your computer, social media, cell phone, and online profiles.

Physical - Physical boundaries are the limitations you set around your body, your home, and places you visit frequently. 

Financial - Financial boundaries are limitations around your income, bank account, credit cards, and other areas surrounding money. 

Emotional - Emotional boundaries are limitations surrounding your feelings, vulnerability, and trust. These boundaries help you determine how much of your heart you want to share with your partner. As your relationship deepens, decide what emotional support looks like for you.

Digital, physical, financial, and emotional boundaries are all necessary to have a balanced and flourishing relationship. Deciding what feels right for you can help your partner learn how to support you better and establish points of trust that can help deepen your relationship. Boundaries are a two-way street and should be honored by all parties involved. Lastly, you have the right to create boundaries, and they are never set in stone. You have the choice to change your mind throughout the relationship and adjust them depending on your comfort level.

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1 in 3 teens are victim to teen dating violence. That is one and a half million teens affected in the US alone. It is Teen Dating Violence Awareness month and all month long I will be talking about this topic. Because. It. Is. Happening. Every. Day.

Why is teen dating violence so prevalent in teens? 

What are the repercussions of teen dating violence? 

And what IS the number one way to prevent teen dating violence and how do you develop more of that one attribute?! 

I will be answering all these questions today!! 

In the weeks ahead I'll cover...

"What does a healthy relationship look like and feel like?"

"How do you set healthy boundaries?"

"What are the signs and red flags of an unhealthy and abusive relationship?"

"Where can I turn for support and help? And how do I support a friend who is in an abusive relationship?" 

Here are some resources to turn to immediately if you are in an abusive relationship!

1. Love is Respect (loveisrespect.org) – Offers education on healthy relationships and resources for teens.
2. National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) – Provides support for those experiencing abuse.
3. Break the Cycle (breakthecycle.org) – Focuses on ending dating violence among young people.
4. RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) (rainn.org) – The largest anti-sexual violence organization in the U.S.
5. Books:
    
   • "The Confidence Code for Girls" by Katty Kay & Claire Shipman – Helps build self-esteem in young girls. 
   • "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend – Teaches self-respect and assertiveness.
6.  National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233).

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Support the show

Click below to make a one time donation and help "Monday Mindset With ISHA WARRIORS" bring peace & empowerment to more teens all over the world!

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