Monster’s favorite sandwich shop has vanished, replaced by a mysterious boba ball establishment! Chaos ensues as the gang tries to secure their first sponsor while Monster mourns his lost lunch spot.

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Natty Bumpercar: Well, hello there everybody, it's me, uh, already, oh, hey, monster, how's it going? I'm so, you sound so sad, what's going on?

Monster: Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm

Natty Bumpercar: Oh, hey, monster, what's going on? You sound, you sound, you sound, you sound, you sound Whoa, are you okay, pig?

Pig: What's going on with me today? I was like trying to get my pig engine started

Natty Bumpercar: No, I think, did, did everybody just wake up? I feel like everybody might have just woken up Because that's how everyone sounds right now

Producer: Hello, everybody, oh, I'm just, oh, are we recording an episode right now? I just thought it was nap time, I looked at the calendar and it says everybody should be taking a nap right now But now I look, oh, hello, monster, how are you doing?

Monster: Whoa, is it really all that bad?

Natty Bumpercar: Hello there, monster, I heard you from the other side of the room over there

Rufus T. Firefly: It sounds like you're in a great state of distress Now, should I, what's going on? Should we be having a conversation? Should we, do you want, do you need legal representation?

Monster: No

Rufus T. Firefly: Or, or, or what?

Natty Bumpercar: Rufus, just because somebody's having a rough time does not mean that they necessarily need a lawyer or legal representation Maybe, so, monster, what is, what is happening? What's going on?

Pig: Just really quickly, though, before we jump into that, am I allowed to go back to sleep? Or are we going to record? What's the plan here?

Natty Bumpercar: We should be, I should stay, okay, I should stay awake Yes, just stay awake

Pig: Okay, I heard you, heard

Natty Bumpercar: Just stay awake

Pig: Got you, okay

Natty Bumpercar: Okay, okay, thank you

Monster: Now, monster, what is going on?

Natty Bumpercar: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

Rufus T. Firefly: Yep, I, okay, I completely, I completely understand

Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second, if I may

Monster: So, I didn't realize that, should I close the place down?

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah

Monster: When did that happen?

Rufus T. Firefly: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow Yes, sorry, thank you, monster, but really quick, Nappy, I get, I'm so sorry to interrupt again

Producer: I have to ask, are we going to be doing some sort of, um, um, um, transcriptions or some subtitles?

Natty Bumpercar: Do they, they don't even know, do they, do they do subtitles in, uh, the, the, the podcast?

Rufus T. Firefly: Cause I don't, I don't know if everyone's going to understand, monster, I mean, I do, clearly, but, you know, I understand why you're upset as well Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow

Producer: Yeah, no, I agree, uh, monster, I'm here with you, I agree, producer, it was a good point, and monster, I don't think he was trying to upset you necessarily I think it's just because he's the producer of the podcast, and the podcast, you know, podcast, with podcast

Natty Bumpercar: It's actually in my name, it's producer, so I'm producing, and that was just an example of me producing, you see, it's like a thing, an issue Yep, yep, yep And I fixed it, I tried to, and I don't know if I actually did

Monster: Yeah, I don't know if you actually did either, um, well, monster, I, just so everyone knows, monster, I'll just translate, cause I don't know if trans, I don't know how that would work

Natty Bumpercar: Um, so there was a sandwich shop that monster used to go to, and he went there today, and the sandwich shop is now gone, and it's an entirely new business that just serves boba, is what I understand

Monster: Yeah, I don't know, I don't, okay, so explain to me, so it's not even like boba tea, it's not even like, you know, the drinks, or the, oh look, here's some mango, here's some boba, or whatever, it's just all these salads, the little circles, the little things, they come in a bowl? How do you get them?

Natty Bumpercar: Oh, okay, so Sorry, yeah, I can't stand that either, like, if I'm, just, listen, I love that places give samples, but don't make me feel guilty when you're trying to give me a sample, like, I don't, if I, if I want to come over and get a sample, I see that you have a tray, I know what's on the tray, that there's something that you're trying to give me a sample of that

Rufus T. Firefly: But if, don't, don't yell at me across the street, and, you know, Monster, I get it, you went there to a sandwich shop thinking you were going to a sandwich shop, and then all of a sudden you're assaulted by this person who's trying to force samples of, of boba, did it have, were there like flavors, or, and, is it, how do they serve it, just the little, those little ball things, like, it's not even Hold on How does that work?

Natty Bumpercar: We gotta, actually, we gotta say nice things about, this is a new business that's here in the Compton County, it's called

Aloysious J. Pig: BBSMB, BBSMB, that's the initials, you know how they like to do like initials, and so it's called Boba, Boba, some more Boba, alright, BBSMB, Boba, Boba, some more Boba, yeah And I've been talking to them, there's a nice little family shop there, and I might be getting them to come on and sponsor the podcast

Natty Bumpercar: So I, uh, I'm broke You're okay Rufus, good on you for going out and getting new clients, potentially for the podcast But maybe now's not the time to start bringing up that we might be financially entangled with the people who have taken away

Monster: Monster's favorite sandwich shop while he's in studio and obviously upset about things

Aloysious J. Pig: Very upset about things, and understandably so, again, Monster And agreeing with Aloysius, Rufus, maybe just, maybe we can talk about that later Number one Number two Uh, we, really? A sponsor? We've never had a sponsor, that's pretty fun

Natty Bumpercar: Let's make that happen Alright, between you and me, let's make that happen I agree, uh, to a point there, uh, Monster Uh, that, you know, maybe some place called Boba, Boba, Small Boba

Pig: Uh, isn't gonna be a very good client to bring on because they can't possibly last very long Because all they're selling is little tapioca balls, uh, flavored gelatin, I suppose I mean, not, not everybody's, not on everybody's palate

Monster: They tried to get me to take a sample, and I said, oh, no, I did not eat marbles, alright

Pig: I said, take those marbles away from me, I swallowed a marble when I was a child

Natty Bumpercar: And it did not taste good It's not, you don't I was allergic to them You're not allergic to them, you just aren't supposed to eat marbles

Pig: Um, and these are not marbles

Producer: And you, being a lawyer, and especially if we're representing the Boba, Boba, Small Boba Uh, should know that we don't want to, uh, slander the business by saying bad and, um, uh, unfactual

Natty Bumpercar: Is that a, un, lacking in facts, factuals? Uh, things about, about a business, a brand new business that's in town that's trying to give us money, okay

Producer: Maybe we should all go down there later, Monster, you can come with us

Natty Bumpercar: And we can talk to the business, and maybe, maybe it's all gonna work out perfectly

Producer: Okay, yeah, and I, and I, and I agree with that Uh, Natty, I think you and Rufus may be losing the point here a little bit Um, M-O-N-S-T-E-R should stay here

Natty Bumpercar: I can stay with You guys can go get me some, uh, some of these marbles

Rufus T. Firefly: Love to try them, alright Love to have a sponsor for the show, alright Uh, but I just do not think it's in anyone's best, uh, interests Yeah To, uh, have Monster come along with us for this field trip I completely agree, that makes sense

Natty Bumpercar: Yes, thank you

Rufus T. Firefly: Okay, we don't want to scare the new people

Natty Bumpercar: We don't want to, um, bring in someone who's upset that they're there

Rufus T. Firefly: So that's a good idea, and thank you very much, uh, Pig For, um, for Baby's Monster Sitting?

Natty Bumpercar: Uh, yeah, well, um, I don't think I'm gonna go either Um, Pig, and it's just kind of like a, um, it's not a cultural thing It's like, I mean, frogs don't like boba, okay? Because, and it's weird to talk about in person with private, it's kind of private information Well, you don't have to talk about it on the podcast if it's such private information, uh, producer

Pig: Uh, you could just leave it at, you don't like boba And then you don't have to come, and that is No, here's the thing, though, I think I should, yep, I'm still Okay, yeah, you're still talking

Rufus T. Firefly: Well, boba, uh, look a little bit like frog eggs, okay? And so I see them, and I was at the big frog meeting, we were having a conversation about boba And, you know, somebody walked in with a sample of these things, these little marbles And it just really gives everybody the icks, the yucks, you know?

Announcer: And like, I'm a frog, I eat bugs, but this is just a little bit too much for me, okay?

Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second So, I, what? Yeah, producer, sorry, that was the owners there of, uh, Boba, Boba, and some more Boba And they called in because they heard everybody was talking about them Which they thought it was gonna be a good thing Initially they said, well, this is what we want, you know, we want our name on the bumper podcast We want it out there, we want people talking about it There's no such thing as bad publicity And then they might have caught wind, they might have heard you over there talking about frog eggs And I think that that might have really upset them And then, who was it that was just talking about marbles? Well, you can't talk, they aren't marbles, they're food, alright? They're little, delicious balls of wondrous tapioca Boba, and Boba, and some more Boba, you get? Well, not only did we lose them as a sponsor Oh no But evidently, they're gonna be seeking litigation What? Who's gonna be their lawyer? I know Well, it's me So you're now going to be suing us On behalf of the sponsor that we almost had That was a sandwich shop that upset Monster And now is a Boba shop which freaks out Pig because of marbles And freaks out Producer because of frog eggs Wonderful Okay, this is going very well I'm glad you stopped in, Monster Hold on, Natty So are you guys still going on the field trip? Because you don't even have to go there necessarily But I am feeling pretty hungry after all this talk And I was wondering if maybe you guys could get me some food? You know what? That's actually not a bad idea I tend to work better as a lawyer when I have some food in my belly Now let me think, sir What kind of food could we get? Monster, now wasn't there some sandwich shop that was your favorite sandwich shop around? Maybe we could go there You think there's some place that would work out? The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous Thanks a bundle for listening If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast Check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts Share it with everyone everywhere Post about it on all of the social medias Or leave a rating and review The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar We also have an absurd newsletter Check it out and subscribe at Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter Hugs and hearts, see you soon

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