Bumperpodcast Archives - Natty Bumpercar

The post Good Gravy appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.

What starts as a simple question about a toaster on the kitchen counter-island somehow becomes a sprawling, gloriously unhinged meditation on sand, etymology, Iceland vs. Ireland vs. Greenland, podcast trust, and the limits of human knowledge. Classic Bumpercar chaos.

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Natty Bumpercar: So, here's the thing. I feel like I start the podcast with saying, so here's the thing, a lot. Should we change it to, so here's the thing, with net, no, we've got too many episodes. Problem is, I'm so busy, I haven't been to the studio in at least seven years, maybe 12 years or something. So now I'm stuck recording on this makeshift, talking to my phone, which is going to my ear, which is going to the computer, and it's wacky and I'm all by myself and I'm in a car. So if you're wondering, why haven't you been pumping out episodes? That's why. Because this is weird. Oh, hi, there's a person watching me. I'm on a phone. I'm just pretending I'm on the phone. Yeah. I'm on a call. Stop looking. Why are you still looking? Oh, they're still looking. I'm going to look down. I'm going to break eye contact. I can't maintain eye, they're gone. Okay. Hey, it's me, Natty Bumpercart, and that was me moving my phone. So where have I been? Well, I think I told you that in January I got banana sick, like flu, pneumonia, hospital, all this stuff. And evidently that messed up my immune system. And so then about a month and a half ago, I got something called, are you ready for this? It's a blast. I highly don't recommend it. Shingles. Yeah, I got shingles. I mean, I'm allergic to oranges, so I am legitimately scared that I'm going to get scurvy. And I haven't looked into what rickets are, but I mean, I feel like with scurvy and shingles, you know, maybe scabies, I don't know what that is. I'm going backwards in diseases. So it's fun. How do you get shingles, Natty? Well, aren't you vaccinated? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Two vaccines and not pleasant vaccines, like knock you on your bottom kind of vaccines. And so when I went to the doctor, oh, and how did that happen? Is there a funny story there? Sure. For a few days, my left side, my shoulder and chest was hurting. Was I having a heart attack? No, no. I just figured I'd pulled a muscle. And so I just was soldiering on. And then I was carrying a part of a outdoor couch thing to the backyard and over my head. And I stepped in a hole with my right leg, thought I broke my ankle because everything went quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack. And then I fell and then the couch landed on top of me. And I was like, I'm about done. I think this is it for me. I don't know. I'm good. And Emerson was freaking out. Are you OK? And I just kind of I wasn't opening my eyes and I just said, please leave me. I can't move. I just want to be here, which sounds like giving up. But it really was just me trying to combobulate myself, recombobulate. I know there's a discombobulate, so I'm assuming that there must be just a baseline of combobulation. I was trying to get myself back into combobulation. So while I was doing that, he ran inside, got my wife. She came out, yells, what's happening? What are you on the ground for? And they managed to pull me up. And I was sore. I was frustrated and limping a bit. And I said, I'm just going to go take a shower and I'm going to sit there in the hot water and it's going to make me feel better. So up I went. And when I went to take a shower, and I don't this is maybe a little too personal and I apologize, but I was taking my shirt off to get into the shower. And lo and behold, I'm covered in spots on my left side. And it's a band that goes from the middle of my front chest, like the sternum thing, all the way around to my back. And I'd never seen those before. And I was like, huh, well, this is strange. So then I showed my wife and she was like, maybe when you were, you know, working in the yard, maybe, you know, you got bit by something or you got poison ivy or, you know, just throwing stuff out there. And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. Do they itch? No. Do they hurt? No. Okay, well, just all right, let's let's monitor the situation. Let's keep an eye on it. Okay, I can do I can do that. So the next day, Monday morning, I was going to go into my favorite booth at Panera and have a wonderful cup of tea, probably my first of three teas of the day. And before I could go inside, I was just sitting there ravaged with pain, like can't even explain to you how much pain I was in. And I thought, okay, urgent care is right there. I'll pop in. I haven't been there in, you know, a month. I got to get my urgent care punch card checked every so often. And so I went in first one in for the week. Good for me. And, you know, they ask you everything and you fill out everything and then you go back to the room and the person asks you all the questions and which all the questions, all the answers, they're on the computer in front of them because I've been there before. I've answered these very same questions. I want to say dozens without any exaggeration of times. And so when they're like, well, are we are we taking any medications? And I'm like, I don't know. It's on screen. Well, when are you taking them? I don't know. Just something, something, something, something, something, something. And so then I have to look it up on my phone. I have to look over here. I have to look over there. And here's all the information. And then 20 minutes later, the doctor comes in and says, so what's going on? I start trying to describe stuff. And while I'm talking, she walks over, kind of lifts my shirt up and goes, oh, you've got shingles. And I didn't mean to do this, I, I, but I was just like, I don't like you. That's what I said. And she just kind of blurted out of my mouth and her eyes kind of got big. And I was like, I, I didn't mean it. I just, I don't want to have shingles. What is shingles? And you know, all through the rest of the visit was me trying to apologize for saying I didn't like this person, which is always comfortable. And you know, he was trying to describe, uh, what shingles are, what they come from. And I still have no idea. And people have been asking me questions ever since it happened, you know, like, oh, isn't that related to chicken pox? Yeah, I think. Did you get a chicken pox when you were a kid? I don't know. Did you get a chicken pox vaccine? I don't know. Is that something that exists? Was I supposed to get it? What did you get? The shingles vaccine? Yes. Two. There were two. I got part A and part B, part one, part two. I got part one and then the sequel. And they were like, well, how did you get it? And then the doctor, I don't know. It's they said it's stress related. And I said, I'm not stressed. There's no stress in my life running the Montclair Comedy Festival Spring Fling, five shows in one day, not stressful at all. And you know, a myriad of other life bits like not being able to record my podcast when I want to. And so now having to sit in a car and record, which is weird to me. But it was good. I had vaccinated, been vaccinated. I got the medicine and they said, well, you're in luck. This should be not a terrible, I forgot what they called it, not explosion, not exposition, not inquisition. I don't know. It should be it shouldn't be a terrible instance. That's not the word of shingles because you proactively were vaccinated and you now have the medicine and it's lasting for 10 days. And the pills, the medicine pills were the biggest pills I've ever seen. Like just as an example, I went by a barn where this horse that I know lives and I showed him the pill and he was like, no way, bro. And I was like, come on, bro. And he was like, no way, bro. I was like, bro, bro. And we kind of went back and forth like that for a while. But I managed to work through it. And now I'm just still not better. I mean, the spots are pretty much gone. I'm not contagious. That's a bonus. I can be in public and not have fear of infecting people with my shingles. Shingles? Why are they like shingles? What a weird name. And and and I was talking to people, they were like, oh, you could have it for a year. What if it gets on your face? You could go blind. And I was like, I don't want to hear any of those things. Keep those things to yourself. Mine is on my on my chest to my back. I don't want to hear about it get into my eyes. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. And, you know, I had to have special soaps and I couldn't take hot showers. I had to take lukewarm showers, which who enjoys that? Not even Luke enjoys lukewarm showers. They're just miserable. Like some people like, oh, I'll do a cold shower. It'll wake me up. It'll get the blood moving. And those people are, I don't know, bananas. And then there's people who like hot showers, which I find myself to be part of because they're nice. Oh, but they're going to dry your skin out. I don't care. It's warm. My house is cold. The shower is warm. I'll hang out in the shower. Right. But when you get out, it's going to be cold. I can't worry about that now. I'm going to worry about the nice warm shower and then I'll deal with the cold consequences and the dry skin consequences later. Okay. Yeah. All risks, no reward. I don't know how that works. So anyway, spots are gone. Hooray. Pain, still around. Boo. Got acupuncture, which is a blast. And while I was there, she said, did you want me to cup your back? And I was like, yes, because all I know about cupping is that Olympic athletes do it. And so as far as I can figure, and I don't know all of the criteria, I don't know all the protocols, the rules or whatever. But from what I have gathered from what she did by cupping me, I am officially now an Olympic athlete.

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumper Car. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumper Car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumper Car. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

The post Bumperpodcast #472 – Season 3 – Shingles appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.

The post Bumperpodcast #471 – Season 3 – ROBOT helps! appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.

Monster’s favorite sandwich shop has vanished, replaced by a mysterious boba ball establishment! Chaos ensues as the gang tries to secure their first sponsor while Monster mourns his lost lunch spot.

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Natty Bumpercar: Well, hello there everybody, it's me, uh, already, oh, hey, monster, how's it going? I'm so, you sound so sad, what's going on?

Monster: Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm

Natty Bumpercar: Oh, hey, monster, what's going on? You sound, you sound, you sound, you sound, you sound Whoa, are you okay, pig?

Pig: What's going on with me today? I was like trying to get my pig engine started

Natty Bumpercar: No, I think, did, did everybody just wake up? I feel like everybody might have just woken up Because that's how everyone sounds right now

Producer: Hello, everybody, oh, I'm just, oh, are we recording an episode right now? I just thought it was nap time, I looked at the calendar and it says everybody should be taking a nap right now But now I look, oh, hello, monster, how are you doing?

Monster: Whoa, is it really all that bad?

Natty Bumpercar: Hello there, monster, I heard you from the other side of the room over there

Rufus T. Firefly: It sounds like you're in a great state of distress Now, should I, what's going on? Should we be having a conversation? Should we, do you want, do you need legal representation?

Monster: No

Rufus T. Firefly: Or, or, or what?

Natty Bumpercar: Rufus, just because somebody's having a rough time does not mean that they necessarily need a lawyer or legal representation Maybe, so, monster, what is, what is happening? What's going on?

Pig: Just really quickly, though, before we jump into that, am I allowed to go back to sleep? Or are we going to record? What's the plan here?

Natty Bumpercar: We should be, I should stay, okay, I should stay awake Yes, just stay awake

Pig: Okay, I heard you, heard

Natty Bumpercar: Just stay awake

Pig: Got you, okay

Natty Bumpercar: Okay, okay, thank you

Monster: Now, monster, what is going on?

Natty Bumpercar: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

Rufus T. Firefly: Yep, I, okay, I completely, I completely understand

Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second, if I may

Monster: So, I didn't realize that, should I close the place down?

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah

Monster: When did that happen?

Rufus T. Firefly: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow Yes, sorry, thank you, monster, but really quick, Nappy, I get, I'm so sorry to interrupt again

Producer: I have to ask, are we going to be doing some sort of, um, um, um, transcriptions or some subtitles?

Natty Bumpercar: Do they, they don't even know, do they, do they do subtitles in, uh, the, the, the podcast?

Rufus T. Firefly: Cause I don't, I don't know if everyone's going to understand, monster, I mean, I do, clearly, but, you know, I understand why you're upset as well Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow

Producer: Yeah, no, I agree, uh, monster, I'm here with you, I agree, producer, it was a good point, and monster, I don't think he was trying to upset you necessarily I think it's just because he's the producer of the podcast, and the podcast, you know, podcast, with podcast

Natty Bumpercar: It's actually in my name, it's producer, so I'm producing, and that was just an example of me producing, you see, it's like a thing, an issue Yep, yep, yep And I fixed it, I tried to, and I don't know if I actually did

Monster: Yeah, I don't know if you actually did either, um, well, monster, I, just so everyone knows, monster, I'll just translate, cause I don't know if trans, I don't know how that would work

Natty Bumpercar: Um, so there was a sandwich shop that monster used to go to, and he went there today, and the sandwich shop is now gone, and it's an entirely new business that just serves boba, is what I understand

Monster: Yeah, I don't know, I don't, okay, so explain to me, so it's not even like boba tea, it's not even like, you know, the drinks, or the, oh look, here's some mango, here's some boba, or whatever, it's just all these salads, the little circles, the little things, they come in a bowl? How do you get them?

Natty Bumpercar: Oh, okay, so Sorry, yeah, I can't stand that either, like, if I'm, just, listen, I love that places give samples, but don't make me feel guilty when you're trying to give me a sample, like, I don't, if I, if I want to come over and get a sample, I see that you have a tray, I know what's on the tray, that there's something that you're trying to give me a sample of that

Rufus T. Firefly: But if, don't, don't yell at me across the street, and, you know, Monster, I get it, you went there to a sandwich shop thinking you were going to a sandwich shop, and then all of a sudden you're assaulted by this person who's trying to force samples of, of boba, did it have, were there like flavors, or, and, is it, how do they serve it, just the little, those little ball things, like, it's not even Hold on How does that work?

Natty Bumpercar: We gotta, actually, we gotta say nice things about, this is a new business that's here in the Compton County, it's called

Aloysious J. Pig: BBSMB, BBSMB, that's the initials, you know how they like to do like initials, and so it's called Boba, Boba, some more Boba, alright, BBSMB, Boba, Boba, some more Boba, yeah And I've been talking to them, there's a nice little family shop there, and I might be getting them to come on and sponsor the podcast

Natty Bumpercar: So I, uh, I'm broke You're okay Rufus, good on you for going out and getting new clients, potentially for the podcast But maybe now's not the time to start bringing up that we might be financially entangled with the people who have taken away

Monster: Monster's favorite sandwich shop while he's in studio and obviously upset about things

Aloysious J. Pig: Very upset about things, and understandably so, again, Monster And agreeing with Aloysius, Rufus, maybe just, maybe we can talk about that later Number one Number two Uh, we, really? A sponsor? We've never had a sponsor, that's pretty fun

Natty Bumpercar: Let's make that happen Alright, between you and me, let's make that happen I agree, uh, to a point there, uh, Monster Uh, that, you know, maybe some place called Boba, Boba, Small Boba

Pig: Uh, isn't gonna be a very good client to bring on because they can't possibly last very long Because all they're selling is little tapioca balls, uh, flavored gelatin, I suppose I mean, not, not everybody's, not on everybody's palate

Monster: They tried to get me to take a sample, and I said, oh, no, I did not eat marbles, alright

Pig: I said, take those marbles away from me, I swallowed a marble when I was a child

Natty Bumpercar: And it did not taste good It's not, you don't I was allergic to them You're not allergic to them, you just aren't supposed to eat marbles

Pig: Um, and these are not marbles

Producer: And you, being a lawyer, and especially if we're representing the Boba, Boba, Small Boba Uh, should know that we don't want to, uh, slander the business by saying bad and, um, uh, unfactual

Natty Bumpercar: Is that a, un, lacking in facts, factuals? Uh, things about, about a business, a brand new business that's in town that's trying to give us money, okay

Producer: Maybe we should all go down there later, Monster, you can come with us

Natty Bumpercar: And we can talk to the business, and maybe, maybe it's all gonna work out perfectly

Producer: Okay, yeah, and I, and I, and I agree with that Uh, Natty, I think you and Rufus may be losing the point here a little bit Um, M-O-N-S-T-E-R should stay here

Natty Bumpercar: I can stay with You guys can go get me some, uh, some of these marbles

Rufus T. Firefly: Love to try them, alright Love to have a sponsor for the show, alright Uh, but I just do not think it's in anyone's best, uh, interests Yeah To, uh, have Monster come along with us for this field trip I completely agree, that makes sense

Natty Bumpercar: Yes, thank you

Rufus T. Firefly: Okay, we don't want to scare the new people

Natty Bumpercar: We don't want to, um, bring in someone who's upset that they're there

Rufus T. Firefly: So that's a good idea, and thank you very much, uh, Pig For, um, for Baby's Monster Sitting?

Natty Bumpercar: Uh, yeah, well, um, I don't think I'm gonna go either Um, Pig, and it's just kind of like a, um, it's not a cultural thing It's like, I mean, frogs don't like boba, okay? Because, and it's weird to talk about in person with private, it's kind of private information Well, you don't have to talk about it on the podcast if it's such private information, uh, producer

Pig: Uh, you could just leave it at, you don't like boba And then you don't have to come, and that is No, here's the thing, though, I think I should, yep, I'm still Okay, yeah, you're still talking

Rufus T. Firefly: Well, boba, uh, look a little bit like frog eggs, okay? And so I see them, and I was at the big frog meeting, we were having a conversation about boba And, you know, somebody walked in with a sample of these things, these little marbles And it just really gives everybody the icks, the yucks, you know?

Announcer: And like, I'm a frog, I eat bugs, but this is just a little bit too much for me, okay?

Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second So, I, what? Yeah, producer, sorry, that was the owners there of, uh, Boba, Boba, and some more Boba And they called in because they heard everybody was talking about them Which they thought it was gonna be a good thing Initially they said, well, this is what we want, you know, we want our name on the bumper podcast We want it out there, we want people talking about it There's no such thing as bad publicity And then they might have caught wind, they might have heard you over there talking about frog eggs And I think that that might have really upset them And then, who was it that was just talking about marbles? Well, you can't talk, they aren't marbles, they're food, alright? They're little, delicious balls of wondrous tapioca Boba, and Boba, and some more Boba, you get? Well, not only did we lose them as a sponsor Oh no But evidently, they're gonna be seeking litigation What? Who's gonna be their lawyer? I know Well, it's me So you're now going to be suing us On behalf of the sponsor that we almost had That was a sandwich shop that upset Monster And now is a Boba shop which freaks out Pig because of marbles And freaks out Producer because of frog eggs Wonderful Okay, this is going very well I'm glad you stopped in, Monster Hold on, Natty So are you guys still going on the field trip? Because you don't even have to go there necessarily But I am feeling pretty hungry after all this talk And I was wondering if maybe you guys could get me some food? You know what? That's actually not a bad idea I tend to work better as a lawyer when I have some food in my belly Now let me think, sir What kind of food could we get? Monster, now wasn't there some sandwich shop that was your favorite sandwich shop around? Maybe we could go there You think there's some place that would work out? The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous Thanks a bundle for listening If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast Check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts Share it with everyone everywhere Post about it on all of the social medias Or leave a rating and review The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar We also have an absurd newsletter Check it out and subscribe at Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter Hugs and hearts, see you soon

The post Bumperpodcast #470 – Season 3 – Monster appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.

This is the episode that Natty promised was lost in last week’s episode. It is about our recent roadtrip to Podfest in Florida.

You should send us an email to [email protected]. We’re here and we’re listening!

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This is the lost episode that Natty Bumpercar promised in last week's Bumperpodcast. Natty finally shares the story of the roadtrip down to Podfest, a podcasting conference in Florida. The episode covers the adventure of hitting the road, the experiences and mishaps encountered along the way, and the fun and chaos that come with any Bumpercar travel story. Serving as a companion piece to episode 468, which covered what happened at the actual conference, this episode fills in the missing chapter of Natty's Florida adventure. Fans of the show's travelogue episodes will enjoy this behind-the-scenes look at the journey itself.

“This is the episode I promised you last week! The one that got lost. Well, here it is. The roadtrip episode.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“You haven't lived until you've driven to Florida for a podcasting conference. It's quite the adventure.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #roadtrip #travel #florida #podfest #adventure #driving #comedy

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

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Yeah. So, wait, hold on. So, where are we again? >> I think we're Well, I think we're in Florida, but I don't really >> No.

What? What do you mean you don't really You don't know where your ear your ear? >> Did you just say ear? You mean are you don't know who you are?

>> Yeah, that's that's what I That's what I was trying to say. Well, yeah, but I So, I got on a train somewhere and uh while I was driving using the map on my phone, which I used to get everywhere, the phone service just decided to break and so I didn't know where I was going. Um, and I had to stop every so often to um to find Wi-Fi and to like, you know, update the map. And it was terrible.

And it made me very nervous and stressed and pretty much uh late. >> So did you So you got on the train? >> Yes, I got on the train. I I I don't know.

It's like like I you give them your car and you walk inside. They give you a piece of paper. You walk inside. They give you another piece of paper and then you have to uh sit and wait for about an hour and then you get to go inside and then uh so I think the train left at like 3:30 yesterday and now uh it arrived where in somewhere in Florida at like 8:30.

>> So wait, hold on. I'm doing the uh producer. Can you can you do the numbers for me? Do you see how much?

>> Uh yes, yes, sir. Sorry, I am doing the math here. So, here we're going to round it up. We're going to take the numbers.

We're going to go, okay, that's 12 uh I would say seven. We're going to say by 17 hours, I think. >> That's a long time. That is I don't want to say too long, but that's a long long long long time.

Um, >> what wait wait wait wait wait. What' you do? What'd you do on the train? Do you get like a Did you get to sleep in one of the little sleeping things?

>> No, no, no, no, no. That was way too expensive. Uh, I uh whatever I did was like 150 bucks or something. Uh to to get your own little sleeping booth thing was like I I'm going to guess $10,000.

Now, let me I'm going to need to look at that contract cuz that doesn't make no sense at all. You got $1 150 just to sit in a seat and you're telling me $10,000 to that don't now I know you're not very good with money, but that just don't make even a little bit of s Yeah. So, okay. Um you So, you just sat in a chair for 17 hours?

>> Well, no. I um yeah, kind of. But no, but the chair like it the back went back. It reclined and then like the the little thingy your legs came up and um so in theory it should have been nice.

Uh the only problem Well, there were a couple problems. Um, I I think that I'm about I'm going to say 3 in too tall for whatever is considered uh to be the norm uh for tallness for tallitude because any place I go like airplanes and espec like this thing my if I had that extra three or 4 in then my feet wouldn't be What just happened? Crushed. My feet would not be like I have to bend them and I'm trying to like find little places to put them and it's miserable.

Um everything else back kind of okay. Um the funny thing is so there was this other guy who there's two seats on one side, two seats on the other. So I get there and uh seats open and I was like, "Hey." And the guy was like, "Oh, is this you?" And I was like, "Yeah." >> So he said, "Wait, so he started off aggressive immediately." >> Yeah. He didn't want a seat, a seat pal, a seat friend, whatever.

And uh so then I had to squeeze in, get into my seat. And uh the best part was in that 17 hours, those are the only words he said to me. So, uh, for me, for my money, that's that was great because I I didn't really feel like chatting with him. Um, especially, so as soon as I got and I sat down in the seat, he he was kind of aggravated and he was like, "Well, where's the armrest seat?" Cuz he wanted there to be an armrest in between us.

So, you know, God forbid there would be just empty space in between us. Who knows what h what chicainery could have happened. None. Um so I always just put my little headphones on and was kind of just said goodbye.

Tapped out. Um, and then the best cool thing was at some point I figured out there was a a dining car where you could go and and well and there were booths and I so I got to sit in a booth and it was much more comfortable. Um, and and um and then I they had I got a cheeseburger which was in a plastic bag and was microwaved and had no business being as delicious as it was. Um, I was kind of asking about some things on the menu and the the woman behind the counter was she's like, "I don't know.

I don't know. How's that?" I don't know. All right. What about the cheeseburger?

I don't know. A lot of people seem to get it. I'm sold. Ah, with those magic words, that's all I needed.

A lot of people get it. Perfect. And uh, so I sat down and I uh, the w there was Wi-Fi, so Hold on. Nothing.

What did you say? Like what? Flowers like that. It doesn't make any Yeah, I heard him.

I heard him too. I was going to say something else and then I heard him. I said because Are you a fancy person now? Cuz you're riding on a train that you're saying like a Wi-Fi like that.

No, I just It came out weird. I stopped. Um but now you know so I got to use the Wi-Fi which means I got to work which everyone knows I love to do all the time and uh now and now I you know I I think I sat there working for probably 3 or 4 hours and around 10:30 or so this guy who was working on the train uh walked by with this box and he was just like hey who wants you anybody hungry? and he just had all this free food.

And he gave me uh a thing of I'm going to go with chicken enchiladas, but I really don't know. And uh yeah, it was it was delicious. It was spicy. And uh it was free, which you I love free.

I love working and I love free. Um, so then I I didn't go back to the my actual seat until closer to like 11:30 or 12 cuz I knew like I was tired and I could just go and I could pass out. All right, great. Okay, so we don't need a run by like minute by minute of the entire trip.

Um, why are you in Florida? Oh yeah. So, I'm I'm going to a a podcast convention called Podfest and um and I get to speak at this thing now. Hold on just a second there.

What do you mean you're going to speak? You're speaking right now. Why are you gonna Why'd you have to go 900 miles onto a onto a a train and and and and and just to talk because I mean you could just talk wherever you are you seem to do. Everybody always Oh, now there's talking again.

There you go. He's talking some more. Yeah, I do know that people do say you do talk. >> Talk what?

No, I'm sorry. You do talk a talk a lot is I didn't I I kind of trailed off there a little bit. I um Yeah. Hey, what's uh what's going on with your uh your eye?

I noticed it's looking a little strange. Yes, I was. Ah, so I guess earlier this week I was just kind of sitting there minding my own business, watching television or whatever and uh one of my kids came in and he he he was just, "Hey, hey, Dad." And then he stopped and he got this terrified look and then he pointed at me and he goes, "What's wrong with your eye?" And I thought my eye just kind of hurt. I It's just kind of like pressure.

It's like, "Ah, I'm looking at the computer too much." whatever. And I got up and I I looked in the mirror. My left eye and was uh all bright red. So uh uh why was it all bright red, dude?

What do you What happened? Well, evidently I burst burst a blood vessel in my in my eye. And so I had something I don't remember the words. It was some super crazy Latin sounded like a magic spell words.

Um and I didn't know what. So I gave it a couple of days and I was just like maybe it'll just go away on its own. You know, I was putting ice packs on my eye which uh is weird. It's like a very cold pirate type of situation.

And then it wasn't going away. In fact, it was getting worse. So, finally I I went to a doctor and they um they checked it out and they were like, "That's some sort of subcutaneial blah blah blah he hemorrh hemorrhage hemorrhage blah blah blah." And blah blah gave you some medicine. But then it was something else too that other words that I don't know.

It's always good when I go to the doctor because I come home and my wife is like, "What did they say?" And I'm like, "I don't know." Like, I pretty much I'm in a conversation with the doctor, listening as I should, you know, uh paying attention and then the second I not even the second I I step out of the door, the second they stop talking, I've already forgotten everything that they could possibly have said. Um, so you know, it's uh I have an eye thing is what I like to call it. So I don't know. And you're going to go to uh your your little show, your podcast show with this blood eye?

>> Yes. I don't have a Yes. I I don't really have an option. I have drops drops for my eye and uh they're they're uh what other steroids.

>> Oh, Netty, now hold on a second. I don't know if I want to see you going down that road, you know. Uh steroids and I it's not not something you should be messing around with. And I uh No, no, no, no, no.

It's something just to make my eye feel better. It's gonna be okay, I think. I think. I don't know.

>> Well, but wait, hold on. So, you just do it in the one eye because what happens if your your left eye bulks up from all these steroids you're not doing and your right eye just stays all puny? What is that going to How's that going to look? How's that going to work out for you?

Oh, I don't know. I didn't think of that. Maybe I should be doing both eyes. Maybe I should I don't know.

I should probably find out about that. I um >> Well, hold on. So, what is your um your talk? What are you talking about?

The podcast the the show you you said you're talking. >> Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, I'm um talking about uh improvised podcasts and uh you know, characters and how to make it all work and all that stuff. And I uh >> Well, hold on. You're talking about improvised podcasts.

Pod. We're all talking weird tonight. Must be the Florida in this. You're talking about improvised podcasts.

This doesn't make no s like all conversations are improvised for the most part, right? Well, yeah, but there are podcasts that are scripted and edited and all this stuff. And what do you mean about characters? What is that supposed to mean?

Why I mean, what are you talking about? I don't Well, I don't know. You know, the Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous.

Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https:ww.patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere.

Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper podcast features contributions from Alawishious J.

Pig, Rufus T, Rufus, Doodle, Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our headtalker is probably Natty Bumper Car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/subscribe.

Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, so wait, hold on, so where are we again?

Natty Bumpercar: I think we're in, well, I think we're in Florida, but I don't really…

Rufus T. Rufus: Nah, what, what do you mean you don't really? You don't know where your ear are?

Natty Bumpercar: Your ear?

Rufus T. Rufus: Did you just say ear?

Natty Bumpercar: You mean are. You don't know where you are?

Rufus T. Rufus: Your ear, that's what I was trying to say.

Natty Bumpercar: Well yeah, but I, so I got on a train somewhere, and while I was driving, using the map on

Rufus T. Rufus: my phone, which I used to get everywhere, the phone service just decided to break, and

Producer Dan: so I didn't know where I was going, and I had to stop every so often to find Wi-Fi and

Rufus T. Rufus: to like, you know, update the map, and it was terrible, and it made me very nervous and stressed, and pretty much late. So did you, so you got on the train?

Natty Bumpercar: Yes, I got on the train, I, I, I don't know, it's like, you give them your car, and you

Rufus T. Rufus: walk inside, they give you a piece of paper, you walk inside, they give you another piece of paper, and then you have to sit and wait for about an hour, and then you get to go

Natty Bumpercar: inside, and then, so I think the train left at like 3.30 yesterday, and now, it arrived

Rufus T. Rufus: where in, somewhere in Florida, at like 8.30.

Natty Bumpercar: So wait, hold on, I'm doing the, producer, can you, can you do the numbers for me, so you see how much? Uh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, I am doing the math here, so here, we're gonna round it up, we're going to take the numbers, we're going to go, okay, that's 12, 16, I would say 7,

Rufus T. Rufus: we're gonna say by 17, 17 hours I think? That's a long time, that is, I don't wanna say too long, but that's a long, long, long,

Natty Bumpercar: long, long time.

Rufus T. Rufus: Um. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what'd you do, what'd you do on the train?

Natty Bumpercar: Did you get like a, did you get to sleep in one of the little sleeping things?

Rufus T. Rufus: No, no, no, no, no, that was way too expensive.

Natty Bumpercar: Uh, I, uh, whatever I did was like 150 bucks or something, uh, to, to get your own little

Rufus T. Rufus: sleeping booth thing was like, I, I'm gonna guess ,000? Well, now let me, I'm gonna need to look at that contract, cause that doesn't make

Natty Bumpercar: no sense at all.

Rufus T. Rufus: You got your 150 to sit in a seat and you're telling me ,000 to, I don't, now Natty,

Natty Bumpercar: I know you're not very good with money, but that just don't make any, even a little bit

Rufus T. Rufus: of sense.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, so, okay, um, you're in, so you just sat in a chair for 17 hours?

Rufus T. Rufus: Well, no, I, um, yeah, well kind of, but no, but the chair, like it, the back went

Natty Bumpercar: back, it reclined, and then like the, the little thing, your legs came up, and, um, so in theory, it should've been nice, uh, the only problem, well there were a couple

Rufus T. Rufus: problems, um, I, I think that I'm about, I'm gonna say three inches too tall for whatever

Natty Bumpercar: is considered, uh, to be the norm, uh, for tallness, for tallitude, because any place

Rufus T. Rufus: I go, like airplanes, like this thing, my, if I had that extra three or four inches,

Natty Bumpercar: then my feet wouldn't be, what just happened, crushed, my feet would not be, like I have

Rufus T. Rufus: to bend them, and I'm trying to like find little places to put them, and it's miserable.

Natty Bumpercar: Um, everything else is back, uh, kind of okay, um, the funny thing is, so there's this other

Rufus T. Rufus: guy, who's, there's two seats on one side, two seats on the other, so I get there, and,

Natty Bumpercar: uh, the seats open, and I was like, hey, and the guy was like, oh, is this you?

Rufus T. Rufus: And I was like, yeah.

Natty Bumpercar: So he said, wait, so he started off aggressive immediately.

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, he didn't want a seat, a seat pal, a seat friend, whatever, and, uh, so then I

Natty Bumpercar: had to squeeze in, get into my seat, and, uh, the best part was, in that 17 hours, those

Rufus T. Rufus: are the only words he said to me.

Natty Bumpercar: So, uh, for me, for my money, that's, that was great, because I, I didn't really feel

Announcer: like chatting with him, uh, especially, so as soon as I got, and I sat down in the seat,

Natty Bumpercar: he, he was kind of aggravated, and he was like, well, where's the armrest seat? Because he wanted there to be an armrest in between us, so, you know, God forbid there would be just empty space in between us, who knows? But, uh, what chicanery could have happened? None. Um, so I always just put my little headphones on and was kind of, just said goodbye, tapped out. Um, and then, the best cool thing was, at some point, I figured out there was a dining car where you could go, and, and, well, and there were booths, and I, so I got to sit in a booth, and it was much more comfortable, um, and, and, um, and then I, they had, I got a cheeseburger, which was in a plastic bag, and was microwaved, and had no business being as delicious as it was. Um, I was kind of asking about some things on the menu, and the, the woman behind the counter was, she was like, I don't know, I don't know, how's that? I don't know. Alright, what about the cheeseburger? I don't know. A lot of people seem to get it. I'm sold. Ah, with those magic words, that's all I needed. A lot of people get it. Perfect. And, um, so then I sat down, and I, uh, the Wi- there was Wi-Fi, so, hold on. What did you say? Like, Wi-Fi? Like that? It doesn't make any… Yeah, I heard him, I heard him too. I was going to say something else, and then I heard him. Is that because, are you a fancy person now, because you're riding on a train, that you're saying like, oh, Wi-Fi, like that? No, I just, it came out weird. I stopped. Um, but now, you know, so I got to use the Wi-Fis, which means I got to work, which everyone knows I love to do all the time, and, uh, now, and now, you know, I think I sat there working for probably three or four hours, and around 10.30 or so, this guy who was working on the train, uh, walked by with this box, and he was just like, hey, who wants, anybody hungry? And he just had all this free food, and he gave me, uh, a thing of, I'm going to go with chicken enchiladas, but I really don't know, and, uh, yeah, it was, it was delicious. It was spicy, and, uh, it was free, which, you know, I love free, I love working, and I love free. Um, so then, I don't, I didn't go back to the, my actual seat until closer to, like, 11.30 or 12, because I knew, like, I was tired, and I could just go, and I could pass out. All right, great, okay, so we don't need a run by, like, minute by minute of the entire trip. Um, why are you in Florida? Oh, yeah, so I'm, I'm going to a, a podcast convention called Podfest, and, um, and I get to speak at this thing. Now, hold on just a second there. What do you mean you're going to speak? You're speaking right now. Why do you, why'd you have to go 900 miles onto a, onto a, a train, and, and, and, and, just to talk? You could, I mean, you could just talk wherever you are. That's what you seem to do. Everybody always like, oh, now there's talking again. There we go, he's talking some more. Uh, yeah, I do know that people do say you do talk. Talk what? No, I'm sorry, you do talk, talk a lot. I kind of trailed off there a little bit. Um, yeah. Hey, what's, uh, what's going on with your, uh, your eye? I notice it's looking a little strange. Yes, I was, uh, so I guess earlier this week I was just kind of sitting there minding my own business, watching television or whatever, and, uh, one of my kids came in and he, he, he, he was just, hey, hey dad, and then he stopped and he got this terrified look and then he pointed at me and he goes, what's wrong with your eye? And I thought my eye just kind of hurt. I mean, it's just kind of like pressure. It's like, ah, I'm looking at the computer too much, whatever. And I got up and I, I looked in the mirror. My left eye, uh, was, uh, uh, all bright red. So, uh, uh, why was it all bright red? What do you, what happened? Well, evidently I burst, burst a blood vessel in my, in my eye. And so I had something, I don't remember the words. It was some super crazy Latin, sounded like a magic spell words. Um, and I didn't know what, so I gave it a couple of days and I was just like, maybe it'll just go away on its own. You know, I was putting ice packs on my eye, which, uh, is weird. It's like a very cold pirate type of situation. And then it wasn't going away. In fact, it was getting worse. So finally I went to a doctor and they, uh, they checked it out and they were like, ah, it's some sort of subcutaneal, blah, blah, blah, hemorrhage, hemorrhage, hemorrhage, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then it was something else too that other words that I don't know. It's always good when I go to the doctor because I come home and my wife is like, what did they say? And I'm like, I don't know. I pretty much, I'm in a conversation with the doctor listening as I should, you know, uh, paying attention. And then the second I, not even the second I step out of the door, the second they stopped talking, I've already forgotten everything that they could possibly have said. Um, so, you know, it's, um, I have an eye thing is what I like to call it. So I don't know. And you're going to go to, uh, your, your little show, your podcast show with this blood eye? Yes. I don't have it. Yes. I don't really have an option. I have drops, drops for my eye and, uh, they're, they're, uh, they're steroids. Oh, now hold on a second. I don't know if I want to see you going down that road, you know, uh, steroids and not, it's not, not something you should be messing around with. And I, uh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's something just to make my eye feel better. It's going to be okay. I think. I think. I don't know. Well, wait, hold on. So you just do it in the one eye? Because what happens if your left eye bulks up from all these steroids you're not doing and your right eye just stays all puny? What is that going to, how's that going to look? How's that going to work out for you? Oh, I don't know. I didn't think of that. Maybe I should be doing both eyes. Maybe I should, I don't know. I don't know. I should probably find out about that. I, um. Well, hold on. So what is your, um, your talk, what are you talking about? The podcast, the show, you said you're talking? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm, um, talking about, uh, improvised podcasts and, uh, you know, characters and how to make it all work and all that stuff. And I, uh. Well, hold on. You're talking about improvised podcasts. We're all talking weird today. It might be the Florida in us. You're talking about improvised podcasts? This doesn't make no sense. Like all conversations are improvised for the most part, right? Well, yeah, but there are podcasts that are scripted and edited and all this stuff. And what do you mean about characters? What is that supposed to mean? Why, I mean, what are you talking about? I don't know. I don't know. You know. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

The post Bumperpodcast #469 – Season 3 – Roadtrip appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.

Natty Bumpercar recounts his experience at a podcasting conference in Florida, where he lost an episode and stayed at a moldy hotel. He describes the overwhelming environment, his difficulty connecting with people, and his health issues, including a low oxygen level that led to a two-day hospital stay. Despite initial miscommunication with his team, they eventually realized something was amiss. The podcast team humorously discusses various mishaps, including lost pants and misunderstandings about HR and Healthy Ribbits magazine.

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Natty Bumpercar recounts his wild adventure attending Podfest, a podcasting conference in Florida, in this eventful episode of the Bumperpodcast. The trip takes a dramatic turn when Natty describes staying at a moldy hotel, feeling overwhelmed by the conference environment, and struggling to connect with fellow podcasters. Things escalate when his oxygen level drops dangerously low, landing him in the hospital for two days. Back at headquarters, the team discusses the mishaps with their usual comedic flair, including Natty's mysteriously lost pants and a running gag about HR actually standing for Healthy Ribbits magazine. The episode is a perfect blend of real-life misadventure and the Bumperpodcast's signature silly humor.

“The hotel was moldy, I couldn't breathe, I lost my pants, and somehow I ended up in the hospital. Classic Podfest experience.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“We didn't even realize anything was wrong at first. We just thought you were being… you know… you.”

— Producer

“HR doesn't stand for Human Resources. It stands for Healthy Ribbits. Everyone knows that.”

— Aloysius J. Pig

Topics: #podfest #conference #travel #hospital #florida #pants #comedy #health

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

Podcast: Download | Embed

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Where where where where have I been? Where have I Where have have I been? I'm here now. Uh but I was I was somewhere else.

I was I was in Florida and I I I recorded an episode, but I don't I can't find it. It did not It's somewhere. It didn't upload. It didn't do any of the stuff.

So, you you're just you have no idea. I went to a a a thing a pod a podcasting conference a pod fest and I spoke and it was it was it was nice. I uh I didn't manage to stay at the hotel where the conference was because I uh looked at it too late and that's fine. I was staying maybe an eight 12 minute walk away.

Not too bad. Uh and you know I thought that's fine. I can walk over. I'll walk back.

It's going to be pleasant. And and it was cold. And also the hotel that I was staying in, I my assumption I made an assumption was all this is in Orlando. This is very close to, you know, big things, parks, whatever.

You know, people are going to come here. It's going to be nice. And well, I made a I made I made a mistake is what I did. >> Yeah.

What kind of mistake did you think you did? Hold on a second. What kind? There we go.

What kind of mistake do you think that you made? >> Oh uh hey pig. Um well my first mistake and I have to apologize immediat. I am so sorry that that I did not you did not come with me to the conference.

I got there and I looked around and I was like I'm here by myself. I don't have any of my little gaggle of uh of friends. Uh well before you accept friends right let's just acquaintances right work friends I think that's fine >> yeah proceed yes I tend to agree that you know we are all friendly here at work hello everyone it's me producer and we are friends here at work of course but we don't really um run in the same social circle so much you know so kind of tough when you're like oh my friends you know I don't we don't know anything. You know, pretty much the second that you leave the studio, we're like, "Okay, see you later." >> But no, none of that's true.

We all live at headquarters together. And no, I don't know why you're trying to make us work friends. We We are just friends. And I >> Hold on a second there, Nat.

Uh, it's me, Roffus to Root T Rufus. Uh, now we're going to get into a little bit of a gray area here cuz we we now while you were gone, you know, Gallivant down uh in in sunny Florida, we you know, kind of we had a an HR meeting. >> Oh, you did human resources. How did Where did we have that here?

>> Wait, you're saying HR stands for human resources? Okay, then we maybe we didn't do it right at all. Uh, we were talking about Homestar Runner. >> Oh, now hold on a second.

You can't just go out just saying that. That's I think that's trade copyritten marked. We were talking about uh HR puffing stuff we were talking about. Now, hold on because I was at this meeting as well.

And I thought we were talking about HR, which is of course the big magazine that's done in this swamp called Healthy Ribbits, which is all about telling frogs how to live a happy life, a healthy life. Uh we do box breeding, cro cro for 4 seconds in, 4 seconds out, and the whole thing. But I don't know what HR you guys are talking about right now. >> Yeah.

Good. I'm glad that you had Okay. I again was in Florida. I staying at a hotel and it looked nice from the outside, but then you go inside and the first, you know, the lobby nice, the people nice.

Uh and then you go into the elevator upstairs to the second floor where I was and it smelled like mold. It smelled like wet moldy dog, which I don't know is if that's a thing, but that was the that was that was what I was hit with as soon as I got out of the door. And it was called it was like an extended stay, which means I guess people you can live there maybe, but which doesn't make sense to me because it was far too expensive for that. Uh but every room had like a kitchenette.

Wait, like a um >> wait, you saw Janette? Janette was down in Florida. Oh man, I I lost touch with Janette. so long ago.

And I uh >> No, >> no, >> no. It was a kitchenette. >> Yeah, kitchenet. >> Oh, sorry.

>> Yeah. Uh so a kitchenette is just a small kitchen. Sorry. Uh and and it was it was terrible and I never even uh I would walk right through there.

Um all the furniture was pressed up against the wall, which was ve it was very nice looking. Uh, and and and the bed. Um, I I left the covers on and I used my bag as a pillow and um I put a what's the thing? A uh >> Is it a Is it a blanket?

>> A blanket? No, not a blanket. >> Oh, if you're talking about the thing on the bed that you put on top of your cell, that's called a blanket. So, you you on the right path there.

Just want to help you out. >> It could also be called like a covers. Uh, you know, you got a you got your covers, you got your blankets, you got your throws, you got your uh I don't know uh t what what is it thing that where you take the the blanket, but it's got like a empty and so you put the stuff a duvet might have been a duvet. It was loud.

>> Uh or was it a uh uh an afghan? >> No, sorry. So, it was my mistake cuz I see what I put a towel down on the bed. Uh, and then I used uh a couple of other towels as as blankets.

So, you guys are right with blankets. U but I used it. I didn't want to touch the bed basically. It was great.

Uh I I uh fully clothed with a jacket on. It was good. It was really comfortable sleeping in in mold. Um, and I I you know, if I find the hidden episode hidden, by hidden, I mean lost.

Uh, it'll tell you all about that the the train that I took down there. I drove to a place and then put my car on a train and then I got on a train and it was a it was an adventure. Uh, but not now. I want to talk about.

So I I would go to the the the podfest, right, and wander around and there were all kinds of people there and there were all kinds of talks and there were lectures and there were uh there was a a hall of people selling their wares, hawking their goods. And I uh you know, I would walk up and I'd be like, "Hi." Like, "Oh." And oh, do you have a podcast? was like, "Yeah, you know, you have a I have to wear a badge. It had my name, had the bumper, podcast, all the stuff." And and and and I, you know, it was it said uh speaker.

It was red on the bottom. And so then they would talk to me a little bit. Uh but I just it was I had a hard time connecting with people. It was very loud.

It was very overwhelming, overstimulating. And um you know, but you know, that's kind of the nature of of the the thing. I think I uh intentionally went to this to be outside of my comfort zone and whoa boy was I. So, uh I got there on Thursday and I went to this thing and I went for a lot of the day on Friday and was kind of just feeling like ick.

And so I ended up just going out and getting dinner uh and wandering around like this shopping place, which was, you know, not what I was there for, but uh I needed to uh to to reset a little bit. And uh had the most delicious fried chicken that I think I've ever had. Uh then I I got up the next morning and I was like, "All right, I'm gonna my my talk is at 3:30 and I'm gonna I'm gonna get up and I'm not going to go straight there. I'm going to go someplace where I can work and I'm going to build out my my uh >> Are you intentious presentation and everything?

>> Your presentations. You're not presenting well today. I got to say this is Are you intentionally being boring or what? What are we doing?

Is this how we do the podcast now? We're trying to Is this a sleep podcast? We trying to lull people to sleep. >> Fine.

No, I'll skip ahead. I did my talk. I didn't feel great and I kind of lost my voice while I was talking. I was like, "Oh, this is strange." And felt a little lightheaded, so I went to urgent care.

Oh, hold on a second. I don't I don't want to dismerge nobody, but you went to an urgent care in Florida. Well, yeah. I didn't have many options.

I was in Florida, but I tested negative for everything. No, no flu, no strep, whatever. And so, they gave me some meds and I was like, "All right, I'm on the mend." But then the next morning, I woke up and I felt terrible. And then I had to drive 20 hours back.

And I got home on a Monday and I should have gone to the hospital then because uh there was no breathing. I was there was no there was I was it was a distinct lack of breathing. Um and uh no no temperature. All right.

You know just uh no breathing. And uh I I was like I'll tough this out. I've already gone to the doctor. I've already gotten my meds.

I should be fine. >> I What kind of meds did they give to you because you was you know you said you were in Florida. Was it like a a tic tac or like like a lifesaver or just a piece of bubble gum or something? >> No, no, no, no.

It it was >> I would love a tic tac right now. Huh? Right. No, honestly, I could too.

Uh it was just like medicine. Med medicine medicine. I don't know. Um but I I I I took it everything and I did all the stuff and I got home and then Wednesday, uh finally we had this little doodad where you put your finger in and it tells you how much oxygen you have.

Uh, pulse oximter is what it's called. >> Oh, look who won gun on Florida and become all smart. Sound like a scientist. Look at you.

I'm proud of you. Thanks. I appreciate it. So, but it was it was it was uh 92 is a number on it.

And I finally did a little research and I was like, well, what is it supposed to be? You know, and it was like, if it goes to 90 or 92, you should already be in the emergency room. And if it goes below that, you're not you're done. Don't worry about it.

And I was like, "Oh, it's probably been at 90 or lower or something like for the past two days." So, I said, "All right, I'm going to go to the I'm going to go to the ER. I'm going to get checked out. Got to make sure that everything's okay." Drove over there. Was fine driving.

Fine. And I uh I got there at the door and there's a guard and he said, "Hey, what are you what are you here for? What do you what do you what do you want? Huh?

A tic tac? And I was like, "No, no, no." And uh I said, "Oh, I can't I can't breathe." And then they threw me into a wheelchair and they zipped me back and then they kept me in the hospital for two days. Two days. That's where I've been.

>> So every time that the phone was ringing and it had the name of the hospital, was that was that was that you? Should we have been answering that? because Rufus was afraid it was like a bill that he hadn't paid and so we just, >> you know, we kept letting go to voicemail. >> Yeah, that was >> that was me.

>> Should we apologize? >> I mean, you don't have to because I guess you didn't know it was me, but I guess you could have either answered the phone or listened to the message uh the multiple messages I think that were sent. Did you Did none of you worry? Did none of you wonder where I had gone to?

>> No. Honestly, no. because you know you just went to Florida and you left us and so we're like oh looks like somebody's going on another big podcast trip or wherever he goes it's you know and so I you know we maybe you know maybe we did we didn't know where you were but maybe we were just like he's too big for his bridges and he doesn't want to talk to us anymore because we're just like oh we're just a little bumper podcast you know. >> Yeah.

Speaking of which, uh, uh, uh, britches. Um, does anybody I had a pile of bridges that I had washed and dried and I don't They were like I stacked them. I folded them. They were all perfect and now I I don't know.

I don't know where they went. >> Now you're saying breaches. >> Britches. >> Breaches?

>> No. Britches? >> Like dungarees? >> Yeah, like pants.

I I don't know. Are they called britches? Isn't that a thing? >> I think that's fine.

>> Is that like a brand? No, I think it's just like a different >> I think it's a different name. But if people are stealing people's pants, then we might have to get HR back in here. >> Oh, we're going to call Healthy Frog and get them back in there.

Perfect. I have a great idea for a recipe. Okay. >> NO.

The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https/www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar.

Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley.

It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Alawishious J. Pig, Rufus, Tufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumper Car.

We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at natty bumpercar. Hugs and hearts.

See you soon.

Natty Bumpercar: Where, where, where, where have I been? Where have I, where have, have I been? I'm here now, but I was, I was somewhere else. I was, I was in Florida and I, I recorded an episode, but I don't, I can't find it. It did not, it's somewhere. It didn't upload, it didn't do any of the stuff. So you, you're just, you have no idea. I went to a thing, a pod, a podcasting conference, a pod fest, and I spoke and it was, it was, it was nice. I, I didn't manage to stay at the hotel where the conference was because I looked at it too late and that's fine. I was staying maybe an eight, 12 minute walk away, not too bad. And you know, I thought that's fine. I can walk over, I'll walk back. It's going to be pleasant. And it was cold. And also the hotel that I was staying in, I, my assumption, I made an assumption was this is in Orlando. This is very close to, you know, big things, parks, whatever, you know, people are going to come here. It's going to be nice. And well, I made a, I made, I made a mistake is what I did. Yeah.

Aloysious J. Pig: What kind of mistake did you think?

Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second. What kind of, there we go.

Aloysious J. Pig: What kind of mistake do you think that you made?

Natty Bumpercar: Oh, uh, hey pig. Um, well my first mistake, and I have to apologize immediately, I should have started off with this. I am so sorry that, that I did not, that you did not come with me to the conference. I got there and I looked around and I was like, I'm here by myself. I don't have any of my little gaggle of, uh, of, of friends.

Aloysious J. Pig: Uh, well, before you say friends, right, let's just, acquaintances, right? Work friends. I think that's fine.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Okay now proceed.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.

Producer: I tend to agree that, you know, we're all friendly here at work. Hello everyone. It's me, producer. And we are friends here at work, of course, um, but we don't really, um, run in the same social circles so much, you know, so it's kind of tough when you're like, oh, my friends, I don't know. I don't, we don't know anything. You know, pretty much the second that you leave the studio, we're like, okay, see you later.

Aloysious J. Pig: But no, none of that's true. We all live at headquarters together and no, I don't know why you're trying to make us work friends. We, we are just friends and I, uh,

Rufus T. Rufus: Hold on a second there, Natty. It's me, Rufus, T. Rufus, uh, now we're going to get into a little bit of a gray area here because we, we, now while you were gone, you know, gallivanting down, uh, in, in sunny Florida, we, you know, kind of, we had a, an HR meeting.

Natty Bumpercar: Oh, you did? Human resources? How did, where did, we don't have that here.

Rufus T. Rufus: Wait, you're saying HR stands for human resources? Okay, then we, maybe we didn't do it right at all. Uh, we were talking about Homestar Runner.

Aloysious J. Pig: Whoa, now hold on a second. You can't just go out just saying that. That's, I think that's trade copywritten, marked.

Rufus T. Rufus: We were talking about, uh, HR, perf and stuff, right?

Natty Bumpercar: No, no, no, hold on because I was at this meeting as well and I thought we were talking about HR, which is of course the big magazine that's done in this swamp called Healthy Ribbits, which is all about telling frogs how to live a happy life, a healthy life. We do box breathing, uh, croak, croak, for four seconds in, four seconds out, and the whole thing. But I don't know what HR you guys are talking about right now.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, good.

Natty Bumpercar: I'm glad that you had, okay, I, again, was in Florida, I staying at a hotel and it looked nice from the outside, but then you go inside and the first, you know, the lobby, nice, the people, nice, uh, and then you go into the elevator upstairs to the second floor where I was and it smelled like mold. It smelled like wet moldy dog, which I don't know if that's a thing, but that was the, that was, that was what I was hit with as soon as I got out of the door. And it was called, it was like an extended stay, which means I guess people, you can live there maybe, but that, which doesn't make sense to me because it was far too expensive for that. Uh, but every room had like a kitchenette, like a, um,

Producer: Wait, you saw Jeanette? Jeanette was down in Florida? Oh man, I, I lost touch with Jeanette so long ago and I, uh,

Natty Bumpercar: No.

Producer: No.

Natty Bumpercar: No. It was a kitchenette.

Producer: Yeah.

Natty Bumpercar: Kitchenette.

Producer: Oh, sorry.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Uh, so a kitchenette is just a small kitchen.

Producer: Sorry.

Natty Bumpercar: Uh, and, and it was, it was terrible and I never even, uh, I would walk right through there. Um, all the furniture was pressed up against the wall, which was very, it was very nice looking. Uh, and, and, and the bed, um, I left the covers on and I used my bag as a pillow and, um, I put a, what's the thing? A, uh,

Producer: Is it a blanket?

Natty Bumpercar: A blanket. No, not a blanket. Uh,

Producer: If you're talking about the thing on the bed that you put on top of yourself, that's called a blanket. So you were on the right path there.

Natty Bumpercar: Well, it could also be called like a covers. Uh, you know, you gotta, you got your covers, you got your blankets, you got your throws, you got your, uh, I don't know. Uh, what is it, you take the blanket, but it's got like an empty, and so you put the stuff, a duvet, you might, might've been a duvet. That was loud. Uh, or was it a, uh, uh, an afghan? No, sorry. So it was my mistake cause I see what, I put a towel down on the bed, uh, and then I used, uh, a couple of other towels as, as blankets. So you guys are right with blankets. Um, but I used it, I didn't want to touch the bed basically. It was great. Uh, I, I, uh, fully clothed with a jacket on. It was good. It was really comfortable sleeping in, in mold. Um, and I, I, you know, if I find the hidden episode, hidden by hidden, I mean lost, uh, it'll tell you all about the, the, the train that I took down there. I drove to a place and then put my car on a train and then I got on a train and it was a, it was an adventure. Uh, but not now I want to talk about, so I, I would go to the, the, the podfest, right? And wander around. And there were all kinds of people there and there were all kinds of talks and there were lectures and there were, uh, there was a, a hall of people selling their wares, hawking their goods. And I, uh, you know, I, I would walk up and I'd be like, hi, and they're like, oh, and they go, do you have a podcast? I was like, yeah. You know, and you have a, I have to wear a badge and I had my name, had the bumper podcast, all the stuff. And, and, and, and I, you know, it was, I said, uh, speaker, it was red on the bottom. And so then they would talk to me a little bit. Uh, but I just, it was, I had a hard time connecting with people. It was very loud. It was very overwhelming, overstimulating and, um, you know, but you know, that's kind of the nature of, of the thing. I think I, uh, intentionally went to this to be outside of my comfort zone and whoa, boy, was I. So, uh, I got there on Thursday and I went to this thing and I went for a lot of the day on Friday and was kind of just feeling like ick. And so I ended up just going out and getting dinner, uh, and wandering around like this shopping place, which was, you know, not what I was there for, but, uh, I needed to, uh, to, to reset a little bit and, uh, had the most delicious fried chicken that I think I've ever had. Uh, then I, I got up the next morning and I was like, all right, I'm going to, my, my talk is at three 30 and I'm going to, I'm going to get up and I'm not going to go straight there. I'm going to go someplace where I can work and I'm going to build out my, my, uh, presentation and everything.

Rufus T. Rufus: Your presentations.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.

Rufus T. Rufus: You're not presenting well today. I got to say, this is, are you intentionally being boring or what? What are we doing? Is this how we do the podcast now? We're trying to, is this a sleep podcast? Are we trying to lull people to sleep?

Natty Bumpercar: Fine. No, I'll skip ahead. I did my talk. I didn't feel great and I kind of lost my voice while I was talking. I was like, oh, this is strange. And felt a little lightheaded. So I went to urgent care.

Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, hold on a second. I don't, I don't want to besmirch nobody, but you went to an urgent care in Florida?

Natty Bumpercar: Well, yeah, I didn't have many options. I was in Florida, but I tested negative for everything. No, no flu, no strep, whatever. And so they gave me some meds and I was like, all right, I'm on the mend. But then the next morning I woke up and I felt terrible. And then I had to drive 20 hours back and I got home on a Monday and I should have gone to the hospital then because there was no breathing. I was, there was no, it was, it was a distinct lack of breathing. And no, no temperature.

Rufus T. Rufus: All right.

Natty Bumpercar: You know, just no breathing. And I was like, I'll tough this out. I've already gone to the doctor. I've already gotten my meds. I should be fine.

Rufus T. Rufus: What kind of meds did they give to you? Because you were, you know, you said you were in Florida. Was it like a Tic Tacs or something like a lifesaver or just a piece of bubble gum or something?

Natty Bumpercar: No, no, no, no. It was, it was. Man, I would love a Tic Tac right now, huh? Right?

Rufus T. Rufus: No, honestly, I could too.

Natty Bumpercar: It was just like medicine, medicine. I don't know. But I took it everything and I did all the stuff and I got home. And then Wednesday, finally we had this little doodad where you put your finger in and it tells you how much oxygen you have. Pulse oximeter is what it's called.

Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, look who'd want gunned down in Florida and become all smart. Sound like a scientist. Look at you. I'm proud of you.

Natty Bumpercar: Thanks. I appreciate it.

Rufus T. Rufus: Ooh.

Natty Bumpercar: So, but it was, it was, it was 92 is the number on it. And I finally did a little research and I was like, well, what is it supposed to be? You know? And it was like, if it goes to 90 or 92, you should already be in the emergency room. And if it goes below that, you're not, you're done. Don't worry about it. And I was like, oh, it's probably been at 90 or lower or something like for the past two days. So I said, all right, I'm going to go to the, I'm going to go to the ER, I'm going to get checked out. I'm going to make sure that everything's okay. Drove over there. Was fine driving. Fine. And I, uh, I got there at the door and there's a guard and he said, hey, what are you, what are you here for? What do you, what do you, what do you want? And I was like, ah, a tic-tac. And I was like, no, no, no. And I said, I can't, I can't breathe. And then they threw me into a wheelchair and they zipped me back and then they kept me in the hospital for two days. Two days.

Rufus T. Rufus: Wait.

Natty Bumpercar: That's where I've been.

Rufus T. Rufus: So every time that the phone was ringing and it had the name of the hospital, was that,

Natty Bumpercar: was that, was that you? Should we have been answering that?

Rufus T. Rufus: Because Rufus was afraid it was like a bill that he hadn't paid. So we just, you know, we kept letting it go to voicemail.

Natty Bumpercar: That was, that was me. Should we apologize? I mean, you don't have to, because I guess you didn't know it was me, but I guess you could have either answered the phone or listened to the message. The multiple messages I think that were sent. Did you, did none of you worry? Did none of you wonder where I had gone to?

Rufus T. Rufus: Honestly, no, because you know, you had just went to Florida and you left us. And so we're like, oh, looks like somebody's going on another big podcast trip or whatever he goes, you know. And so I, you know, I, we maybe, you know, maybe we did, we didn't know where you were, but maybe we were just like, he's too big for his britches and he doesn't want to talk to us anymore because we're just like, oh, we're just a little bumper podcast, you know?

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.

Rufus T. Rufus: Speaking of which, uh, uh, uh, britches, um, is anybody, I had a pile of britches that I had washed and dried and I don't, they were like, I stacked them, I folded them. They were all perfect. And now I don't know, I don't know where they went.

Natty Bumpercar: Now y'all, y'all saying breeches?

Rufus T. Rufus: Britches.

Natty Bumpercar: Breeches.

Rufus T. Rufus: No, britches.

Natty Bumpercar: Like dungarees?

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah.

Natty Bumpercar: Like pants. I don't know. Are they called britches? Isn't that a thing?

Rufus T. Rufus: I think that's fine.

Natty Bumpercar: Yes. Is that like a brand?

Rufus T. Rufus: No, I think it's just like a different thing.

Natty Bumpercar: I'm confused.

Rufus T. Rufus: I think it's a different name, but if people are stealing people's pants, then we might

Natty Bumpercar: have to get HR back in here.

Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, we're going to call Healthy Frog and get them back in here?

Natty Bumpercar: Perfect.

Rufus T. Rufus: I have a great idea for a recipe, okay?

Natty Bumpercar: No!

Announcer/Network Voice: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

The post Bumperpodcast #468 – Season 3 – Britches appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.

Aloysius J Pig and a special guest discuss technical difficulties with recording their podcast, including equipment malfunctions and the need for more snacks. The guest reveals his identity and shares insights into his busy holiday season, including logistical challenges like navigating homes without chimneys and dealing with pets. They reflect on the joy and challenges of Christmas, with the guest emphasizing the importance of spreading joy and the emotional aspects of the holiday. Aloysius humorously suggests that the guest become a professional podcaster, but Santa remains focused on his preparations for the upcoming year.

You should send us an email to [email protected]. We’re here and we’re listening!

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Aloysius J. Pig plays host alongside a very special guest in this holiday episode of the Bumperpodcast. After struggling with technical difficulties and equipment malfunctions, the mysterious guest reveals himself to be none other than Santa Claus. Santa shares behind-the-scenes insights into his busy holiday season, including the logistical nightmares of navigating homes without chimneys and dealing with household pets. The conversation turns heartfelt as Santa reflects on the joy and emotional weight of Christmas, while Aloysius humorously suggests that Santa should pivot to professional podcasting. A charming episode that blends holiday warmth with the Bumperpodcast's signature absurdist humor.

“The homes without chimneys are the real challenge. You'd be surprised how many people don't have chimneys anymore.”

— Santa

“Have you ever considered becoming a professional podcaster? You've got a great voice for it!”

— Aloysius J. Pig

“Spreading joy is the whole point. Even when it's exhausting, even when the pets try to bite you.”

— Santa

Topics: #christmas #santa #holidays #podcasting #technicaldifficulties #snacks

Featuring: Aloysius J. Pig, Santa

Podcast: Download | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

Podcast: Download | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

No. Yeah, but I'm sorry is what I'm saying because it was the whole thing that wasn't working and No, I know. >> Yes. Well, I I think we should just let uh let the water under the bridge, I think is what it's We should let the water flow under the bridge.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So, we're not going to mess up this. Okay. So, quick update. We've been trying to record this.

We actually did record this a couple of times and the equipment said, "You know what? You recorded it. Great job. We're going to eat it.

And uh it was hungry. That's our fault. Okay. We got to give it more snacks, whatever.

But now we found a whole other device. We got a lot of devices around this place. And it seems like it's working, which is very exciting. >> Yes.

And I I feel like we should probably do the introductions again and maybe even try to remember what we HAD TALKED ABOUT BEFORE so that we can I don't or else we can just do this a recap of the things that didn't happen. That seems, you know, to completely fine as well. >> No, no, no, no. Point taken.

Hey everybody, it's me Alawishious J Pig here on the Bumper podcast. Uh Natty is I don't know and I have this uh interview and I'm so thankful that you've been so uh patient with me this whole time uh because this has been very frustrating for me and I'm and I'm sure for you. Um so YOU SHOULD INTRODUCE YOURSELF. >> WELL, YES, OF COURSE.

UH hello everyone. It it's it's um it's it's Santa Claus. I'm not even going to beat around the bush. In previous recordings of this very same episode, we kind of played little games like, "Oh, who could it be?" You know, and who and then Alawishas would ask me questions and we would, "Oh, it's it's Santa Cl.

It's me. It is Santa Claus." I feel like it's pointless to do that at this point because the point of the point is [laughter] I'm just kidding. Anyway, nice to see you everyone. >> Yeah.

Well, we didn't go over that. So, this is not a video podcast, Santa. Uh, we asked for a few uh video things in a in a stocking or under the tree and uh it didn't didn't happen. And that's totally fine.

You know, we uh maybe we weren't as good as we thought we were. What you know, however it works. I don't know. >> Hold on there.

We just you know, I did see your list. All the lists that are sent come to me. I look at them. I go over them.

I have a special highlighter where I will highlight the things that I think we can get and then that we put it over on the side there. There's some budgeting and I don't know if you realize but uh audio and video equipment is very expensive. The elves they can't even make that type of stuff and so we have to um outsource it as it were uh to other other places. There's there's uh uh gnomes, of course, they work more in uh I guess wood wooden things.

We have the dwarves that are doing the stone. I don't know who it is who does our electronics these days, but the point is you you put these you lists are a suggestion. All right, lists are I'm not going to go checkbox, I got it, checkbox, I got it like that. Uh, but what I will do is I will look at it and I will try to figure out as best as I can.

And I think that you had a pretty wonderful Christmas if I'm not mistaken. >> No. Yeah. Yeah.

Abs. Absolutely. I did. That was not meant to detract in anyway.

Great Christmas. Woke up. Um, can I tell you the kids, Bumpak kids, they actually slept until, get this, 5:45. So, we're getting close to daylight almost.

Uh, and uh, but then it was it was just very pleasant. hung out with family, uh saw all the people, uh you know, high-fived a friend or two, and uh just try to take it easy, take a little bit of a a break. >> Well, that's that's wonderful. Well, I'm happy to hear it.

I uh myself, I was very busy over the holidays. >> Yeah, that that makes sense. That makes sense. Uh you got a lot going on, obviously.

[laughter] >> Yes, obviously. I I didn't even think about it when I said it, but yes, I was. It's my busy time of the year, obviously. Uh, but it was it was wonderful.

It's always my favorite time of the year again, obviously. But it it's just it's it's it's a nice thing that is there was a time of year that some people look forward to and of course some people they get to that time of year and it's difficult and I understand that as well and and and I feel I feel bad. I I I wish everyone could share in as as much joy as they can, but as as life has it um there can be outstanding uh outstanding outstanding there we are um outstanding issues or or whatever it is that that that that can detract from the joy you know you know also I think if you're not looking um at the spirit of the whole thing then and it's easy to get lost in the sauce as They say maybe that's like a a North Pole thing. I don't know.

I've never had lost lost in sauce. I don't know. Uh here in New Jersey, I think it's gravy. So, we get kind of wavy in the gravy.

No, I don't know. Hey. Um so, what we were talking about in the other episodes, um well, first off, I can't just leave that hanging. Yeah.

Uh it's it's one of those seasons where it's full of happiness, right? And but it's also full of it's uh just a big bubble of nostalgia. And then sometimes, you know, like for times past and then sometimes it's nostalgia for stuff that never even happened, right? Like maybe, you know, you're you're conflating all the different Christmas stories with Rudolph and the the the the Frosty and whatever it is, the heat miser, and uh you know, you're you're squishing that with your childhood or whatever it is.

And and you know it's it's it's it can it can get a little bit emotional, a little bit overwhelming. A lot of stuff going on. A lot of lights, a lot of tensil, a lot of presents. Are they going to like it?

Did I spend too much money? Okay. Now I'm getting I'm getting uh I'm getting um the glimpmp and I It's okay. Take a deep breath.

Take a deep breath. >> You all right? Are you going Are you all right there? Yes.

Well, it is it's true. It is It is It is overwhelming. Um but my hope is that and everyone can at least make an attempt to to find a little bit of light in the season. Um you know the the the the year is coming to a close.

We just do we just drop something and a new year's coming about which is it gives you at least the the hope of of of a new fresh beginning. Um, and and hopefully there are some memories throughout the life that you can pull upon that will uh, you know, make you happy about about Christmas time. Maybe it's you. I don't I for me, I don't really know.

I don't know cuz I'm on just building and taking toys. But I know, you know, for instance, I I sometimes I get the opportunity to go to houses. Um, people invite me over. uh sometimes before Christmas, sometimes a little bit after.

And they they say, "Santa, we need you to be here on this day." And I actually am able to come sometimes, not all the time, and to see the children uh the the faces, the glee, the joy where they're like, "Oh my word, Santa is in our house right now. How is this happening? He's talking to me." You know, and it's it can be uh hot warming is is really what it can be. Hot melting, if I dare say.

>> Yeah. Well, and and good good job. You should be a professional podcaster. Wait a minute.

The Santa Claus tales where you go on every week and you talk about the good list, the naughty list. Oh. Oh. Okay.

I'm going to talk to Rufus. We're going to get it. You're You're locked in. You're now you're on officially on the BPN, the Bumper Podcast Network.

Oh, no. Hold on one sec. I don't feel like I can or should or want to do that. But talk to my people and they can talk to your people and we can kind of see what what what can come about.

I suppose >> I can see it now. You're on the stage of the Webbies, I think they're called. And they're like best new podcast of the year, Santa talking. What?

What do you think it's going to be called? >> I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE CALLED anything because again, I haven't agreed to anything. I'm I'm a very very busy you know um and uh >> yeah what I mean you're busy like what November December and probably wrapping up in uh by mid January right so that leaves you with I can't count but seven and a half and a half months whatever it is just you just are you just lolly gagging no no I'm not I'm neither lollying nor gagging okay I'm I'm I'm planning I'm uh preparing I'm uh um another word for such things and um I can't you know planning and preparing we're going to stick with planning and preparing uh it's it's very busy all the the logistics okay of of I have to go across the entire world in one night up chimneys down chimneys some places have no chimneys that's fine finding trees finding Nemo there's uh stockings sometimes hung on on the the mantle with there. But there's also a lot of times where they're not.

There's people there. Sometimes there's stockings on the floor, stockings on the couch, wherever they are, right? And I can't wake anyone up. I have to do this all silently, right?

And and sometimes they have a cat, SOMETIMES THEY HAVE A DOG. ONE TIME I WENT to a house that had a bird and it kept saying, "I know you over and over." I know you. In different intonations, I know you. I know you know you.

And the bird almost drove me out of my my my red my red cap. It drove me bananas is what I'd say. >> I was worried you're going to say Boo cuz I don't know if you remember how it works here at the Bubba podcast, but if you say uh Bonu then uh something I don't remember what happened, but Rufus comes in. He's like, "Oh, you're totally 10 years ago that no one remembers but me." But anyway, uh yeah, I get it.

Birds are uh birds are dinosaurs. Okay. >> Wait, that reminds me. So, now we're saying that dinosaurs are actually real.

Is that was that the the premise of the conversation now at this point? >> Well, uh no. I mean, hold on. Yes, dinosaurs are clearly real.

Uh birds are descendants of dinosaurs. I don't know if that's how they work. Descendants. or are they like how does I don't I'm not that we need to get a science person on this show because I mean I don't want to be just uh sitting here telling people stuff with no uh annotations, no uh cliff notes, no, you know, I could just say anything.

Oh, dinosaurs spoke uh French. They could I don't know, right? I wasn't there. They probably didn't.

I They could. I don't know. Anyway, what I'm saying is I Well, I'm going to cut you off and I apologize cuz I know that's not polite. Uh, so yes, I can tell you cuz I was there.

Dinosaurs did not speak French. >> Well, hold on. Breaking news. Santa Claus, you were around when dinosaurs were around.

And where did he were the elves? Was Mrs. Claus? Was there a Was there even a North Pole?

Are we talking Pangia here? Um, I need more. See, and this is why I'm saying people people want to hear these stories. >> They want to hear about you going to baby T-Rex's house and, you know, maybe he was on the nice list that year and you gave him a little baby T-Rex uh tricycle or whatever it is.

>> Well, I mean, it was it it was there. It was real and it was different. They didn't do trees back then. Uh [snorts] they they just piled up rocks, right?

Uh which they it was it was interesting because they were decorated very differently from how it's decorated now. There was no tensil obviously, no plastic. Um, so there were no uh lights. They would sometimes um pay little uh uh light lightning bugs to to to light up on the trees which was which was beautiful.

Uh and similarly they would sometimes uh put little candles on the tree uh to and then the magic was they would say we have to light the tree of rocks so that Santa knows where we are. It was it was it was a nice time. Yeah. And my my point entirely exactly.

It was a nice time that no one's ever heard about, so I'm not going to force it. But that's what we were talking about on the last podcast is is how people are coming up to you all the time and they're saying like, "Oh, is Santa real?" And you're standing in front of them and remember like I was saying like, "Oh, people come up to me and they're like, "Oh, you're real a pig." And I'm like, "My name is Alawishas." Remember all that? I wish we would have talked about any of that stuff during this podcast, but we didn't because we were so excited just to get the equipment working, but uh I don't know. Happy New Year, right?

Let's uh see what happens. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening.

If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https:ww.patreon.com/ patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review.

The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Alawishious J. Pig, Rufus T.

Rufus, Doodle, Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our headtalker is probably Natty Bumper Car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/subscribe.

Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at nattybumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Aloysious J. Pig: No, yeah, but I'm sorry is what I'm saying because it was the whole thing that wasn't

Santa: working.

Aloysious J. Pig: No, I know.

Santa: Yes.

Aloysious J. Pig: Well, I think we should just let the water under the bridge, I think is what it's…

Santa: We should let the water flow under the bridge.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Santa: Okay, so we're not going to mess up this.

Aloysious J. Pig: Okay, so quick update.

Santa: We've been trying to record this.

Aloysious J. Pig: We actually did record this a couple of times and the equipment said, you know what?

Santa: You recorded it.

Aloysious J. Pig: Good job.

Santa: We're going to eat it.

Aloysious J. Pig: And it was hungry.

Santa: That's our fault.

Aloysious J. Pig: Okay.

Santa: We got to give it more snacks, whatever.

Aloysious J. Pig: But now we've found a whole other device.

Santa: We've got a lot of devices around this place and it seems like it's working, which is very

Aloysious J. Pig: exciting.

Santa: Yes.

Aloysious J. Pig: And I feel like we should probably do the introductions again and maybe even try to remember

Santa: what we had talked about before so that we can, I don't, or else we can just do this,

Aloysious J. Pig: a recap of the things that didn't happen.

Santa: That seems, you know, completely fine as well.

Aloysious J. Pig: No, no, no, no.

Santa: Point taken.

Aloysious J. Pig: Hey, everybody.

Santa: This is Jay Pig here on the Bumper Podcast.

Aloysious J. Pig: Natty is, I don't know, and I have this interview and I'm so thankful that you've been so patient

Santa: with me this whole time because this has been very frustrating for me and I'm sure for you.

Aloysious J. Pig: So you should introduce yourself.

Santa: Well, yes, of course.

Aloysious J. Pig: Hello, everyone.

Santa: It's Santa Claus.

Aloysious J. Pig: I'm not even going to beat around the bush.

Santa: In previous recordings of this very same episode, we kind of played little games like, oh, who

Aloysious J. Pig: could it be?

Santa: And, you know, and then Aloysius would ask me questions and we would, oh, it's Santa

Aloysious J. Pig: Claus.

Santa: And it's me.

Aloysious J. Pig: It is Santa Claus.

Santa: I feel like it's pointless to do that at this point because the point of the point is, I'm

Aloysious J. Pig: just kidding.

Santa: Anyway, nice to see you, everyone.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah.

Natty Bumpercar: Well, we didn't go over that. This is not a video podcast, Santa. We asked for a few video things in a stocking or under the tree and it didn't happen. And that's totally fine. You know, we maybe we weren't as good as we thought we were, you know, however, I don't know. Hold on there, Aloysius. I did see your list. All the lists that are sent come to me. I look at them. I go over them. I have a special highlighter where I will highlight the things that I think we can get And then we put it over on the side there. There's some budgeting. And I don't know if you realize, but audio and video equipment is very expensive. The elves, they can't even make that type of stuff. And so we have to outsource it, as it were, to other places. There's gnomes, of course. They work more in, I guess, wooden things. We have the dwarves that are doing the stone. I don't know who it is who does our electronics these days, but the point is, you put these lists are a suggestion, all right? Lists are… I'm not going to go check box, I got it, check box, I got it like that. But what I will do is I will look at it and I will try to figure out as best as I can. And I think that you had a pretty wonderful Christmas, if I'm not mistaken. Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I was not meant to detract in any way. Great Christmas. Woke up. Can I tell you, the kids, bumper car kids, they actually slept until, get this, 5.45. So we're getting close to daylight, almost. But then it was just very pleasant. Hung out with family, saw all the people, high-fived a friend or two, and just tried to take it easy, take a little bit of a break. It's wonderful. Well, I'm happy to hear it. I, myself, I was very busy over the holidays. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. You got a lot going on, obviously. Yes, obviously. I didn't even think about it when I said it, but yes, it's my busy time of the year, obviously. But it was wonderful. It's always my favorite time of the year, again, obviously. But it's just, it's a nice thing that there was a time of year that some people look forward to. Of course, some people, they get to that time of year, and it's difficult, and I understand that as well. And I feel bad. I wish everyone could share in as much joy as they can, but as life has it, there can be outstanding, outstanding, outstanding, there we are, outstanding issues or whatever it is that can detract from the joy. So I think if you're not looking at the spirit of the whole thing, then it's easy to get lost in the sauce, as they say. Maybe that's like a North Pole thing. I don't know. I've never had lost in the sauce. I don't know. Here in New Jersey, I think it's gravy. So we get kind of wavy in the gravy. No, I don't know. So what we were talking about in the other episodes, well, first off, I can't just leave that hanging. Yeah. It's one of those seasons where it's full of happiness, but it's also full of, it's just a big bubble of nostalgia, and then sometimes, like for times past, and then sometimes it's nostalgia for stuff that never even happened. Like maybe you're conflating all the different Christmas stories with Rudolph and Frosty and whatever it is, the Heat Miser, and you're squishing that with your childhood or whatever it is, and it can get a little bit emotional, a little bit overwhelming, a lot of stuff going on. A lot of lights, a lot of tinsel, a lot of presents. Are they going to like it? Did I spend too much money? Okay, now I'm getting the glimpse, and it's just, okay, take a deep breath, take a deep breath. Are you all right there? Yes. Well, it's true. It is overwhelming, but my hope is that everyone can at least make an attempt to find a little bit of light in the season. The year is coming to a close, we'll just drop something, and a new year is coming about, which gives you at least the hope of a new, fresh beginning, and hopefully there are some memories throughout the life that you can pull upon that will make you happy about Christmastime. Maybe it's, for me, I don't really know, I don't know, because I'm just building and taking toys. I don't know, for instance, sometimes I get the opportunity to go to houses people invite me over, sometimes before Christmas, sometimes a little bit after, and they say, Santa, we need you to be here on this day, and I actually am able to come sometimes, not all the time, and to see the children, the faces, the glee, the joy, where they're like, oh my word, Santa is in our house right now, how is this happening? He's talking to me, you know, and it can be heartwarming, it can be heart-melting, if I dare say. Yeah, and good job, you should be a professional podcaster. Wait a minute, the Santa Claus Tales, where you go on every week, and you talk about the good list, the naughty list, oh, okay, I'm gonna talk to Rufus, we're gonna get it, you're locked in, you're now officially on the BPN, the Bumper Car Podcast Network. Oh, no, hold on one second, I don't feel like I can or should or want to do that, but talk to my people and they can talk to your people, and we can kind of see what can come about, I suppose. I can see it now, you're on the stage of the Webbies, I think they're called, and they're like, best new podcast of the year, Santa Talkin', or whatever you think it's gonna be called. I don't feel like it's going to be called anything, because, again, I haven't agreed to anything, I'm very, very busy, you know, and, uh… Yeah, but, I mean, you're busy, like, what, November, December, and probably wrapping up by mid-January, right, so that leaves you with, I can't count, but seven and a half, twelve and a half months, or whatever it is, just, are you just lollygagging? No, no, no, I'm neither lollygagging nor gagging, okay, I'm planning, I'm preparing, I'm, uh, another word for such things, and, um, I can't, you know, planning and preparing, we're gonna stick with planning and preparing, uh, it's very busy, all the logistics, okay, I have to go across the entire world in one night, up chimneys, down chimneys, some places have no chimneys, that's fine, finding trees, finding Nemo, there's, uh, stockings sometimes hung on the mantle with care, but there's also a lot of times where they're not, there's people, there's sometimes there's stockings on the floor, stockings on the couch, wherever they are, right, and I can't wake anyone up, I have to do this all silently, right, and, and sometimes they have a cat, sometimes they have a dog, one time I went to a house that had a bird and it kept saying, I know you, over and over, I know you, in different intonations, I know you, I know you, know you, and the bird almost drove me out of my, my, my red, my red cap, it drove me bananas, is what I'd say. I was worried you were gonna say Banu, cause I don't know if you remember how it works here at the Puppet Podcast, but if you say, uh, Banu, then, uh, something, I don't remember what happened, but Rufus comes in, he's like, oh, you're Toad's Banu, and then he scoots you away, and, yeah, it's a whole thing, it don't, it's a storyline from probably ten years ago that no one remembers but me, but anyway, uh, yeah, I get it, birds are, uh, birds are dinosaurs, okay? Wait, that reminds me, uh, so now we're saying that dinosaurs are actually real, is that, was that the premise of the conversation now at this point? Well, uh, no, I mean, hold on, yes, dinosaurs are clearly real, uh, birds are descendants of dinosaurs? I don't know if that's how they work, descendants, or are they like, how do, I don't, I'm not, we need to get a science person on this show, because, I mean, I don't want to be just sitting here telling people stuff with no, uh, annotations, no, uh, cliff notes, no, you know, I could just say anything, oh, dinosaurs spoke, uh, French, they could, I don't know, right, I wasn't there, they probably didn't, I, they could, I don't know, anyway, what I'm saying is, I, well, I'm going to cut you off, and I apologize, because I know that's not polite, uh, so yes, I can tell you, because I was there, dinosaurs did not speak French, and, wait, wait, hold on, breaking news, Santa Claus, you were around when dinosaurs were around, and where, where, where the elves, was Mrs. Claus, was there a North, was there even a North Pole, are we talking Pangaea here, um, I need more, see, and this is why I'm saying, people, people want to hear these stories, they want to hear about you going to baby, uh, T-Rex's house, and, you know, maybe he was on the nice list that year, and you gave him a little baby T-Rex, uh, tricycle, or whatever it is, well, I mean, it was, it, it was there, it was real, and it was different, they didn't do trees back then, uh, they, they just piled up rocks, right, uh, which, they, it was, it was interesting, because they were decorated very differently from how it's decorated, there was no tinsel, obviously, there was no plastic, um, so there were no, uh, lights, they would sometimes, um, pay little, uh, uh, light, lightning bugs to, to, to light up on the trees, which was, which was beautiful, uh, and similarly, they would sometimes, uh, put little candles on the tree, uh, to, they, and then, the magic was, they would say, we have to light the tree of rocks so that Santa knows where we are, it was, it was, it was a nice time. Yeah, and my, my point entirely exactly, it was a nice time that no one's ever heard about, so I'm not gonna force it, but that's what we were talking about in the last podcast, is, is how people are coming up to you all the time, and they're saying, like, oh, is Santa real, and you're standing in front of them, and remember, like, I was saying, like, oh, people come up to me, and they're like, oh, you're real, and a pig, and I'm like, my name is Aloysius, remember all that, so I wish we would have talked about any of that stuff during this podcast, but we didn't, because we were so excited just to get the equipment working, but, uh, I don't know, Happy New Year, right? Let's, uh, see what happens, hee hee. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening! If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts! See you soon!

The post Bumperpodcast #467 – Season 3 – Guest appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.

Natty Bumpercar and Aloysius J Pig attempted to record a podcast without their producer, who was on vacation. They faced numerous technical issues, including a chilly studio at 48 degrees and malfunctioning wires. Despite their efforts, the recording equipment failed. Aloysius humorously recounted his search for a tomato soup can to record, while Natty yawned into the microphone. They received messages from their producer and Rufus, who warned them about the cold studio, broken wires, and not eating frog cookies. The episode concluded with a reflection on their failed attempt and the chaos that ensued.

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Natty Bumpercar and Aloysius J. Pig attempt to record a podcast episode without their beloved Producer, who is away on vacation. Chaos ensues as the duo faces a freezing studio at 48 degrees, malfunctioning wires, and complete equipment failure. Aloysius hilariously recounts his quest to find a tomato soup can to use as a makeshift recording device, while Natty yawns directly into the microphone. The pair receives warning messages from Producer and Rufus about the cold studio, broken wires, and a mysterious caution about not eating frog cookies. The episode is a delightful showcase of what happens when the behind-the-scenes magic of the Bumperpodcast falls apart.

“I found a tomato soup can! We can record into this, right? That's how podcasting works?”

— Aloysius J. Pig

“It's 48 degrees in here. I can see my breath. This is not ideal podcasting conditions.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Whatever you do, do NOT eat the frog cookies.”

— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #technicaldifficulties #producer #cold #recording #chaos #cookies #vacation

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysius J. Pig, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus

Podcast: Download | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

Podcast: Download | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

So, we came in the studio today and producer is on vacation for the end of the year. Whole uh frog thing. He goes home to his family. Good for him.

And we were like, we should record an episode and we can do this by ourselves. We don't even need producer. And well, and we we we fell uh flat on our faces. Okay.

So, we came in the studio. Uh it was 48° which is a little a little bit chilly and uh nothing nothing was working. >> Yeah. And even now I don't know if anything is working because none of the wires were working.

Like we plugged everything in and we're like okay this isn't working. And then we tried some different wires. We tried a whole different system, a different setup and it didn't also didn't work. And um >> so we we're really we're trying not to complain because we want we know we're like hey we're going to be at a podcast convention.

We're going to be speaking we're have all these new people who coming in. [clears throat] They're listening. That's wonderful. And so we're like oh let's you know put out some episodes and you know late in the year and say hi to everybody.

And this is this isn't the best foot forward is what I'm saying. >> No it is it is not. And we're a minute in and Okay. Okay.

So, we're trying not to be negative and uh our producer is on vacation and the studio I didn't know that he he comes in and he preheats the studio. I didn't know that that was something that he did. I thought that the studio was always just kind of nice and warm and toasty, but um it's it's not. And so, that's something that we learned today.

And we also learned Rufus came in and immediately I think he got like a step into the studio and he just turned and and walked away and he said something like not on my watch which doesn't even make sense. So it's just me, Natty Bumper Car and Alawishious is here too. Yeah. Uh luckily as a pig uh I am immune to cold and that's not true.

I'm actually I listen I'm a I am a pig. I have pink skin and it's I feel cold constantly. I don't know what the pink had to do with anything. I'm just I can see my pig breath and it everything hurts.

Like I I sat down on the chair and I was like it's this chair is harder than it usually is. >> Yeah. >> And uh Yeah. I sat on the couch and um it actually it crinkled like it was frozen or something.

Um, which I don't I hope it's I don't know why it would be. It would have to be have been wet to be frozen and then that's concerning to me as well. Like maybe there's a leak in here or something. Um, but you know what?

It's okay. Who cares? We got we got this thing working and there's so far there's no feedback and and and it seems like we're having it. Let's so let's you know what?

Let's have a podcast. Let's forget the last three minutes of our lives. Hey Alawishious JPG, how are you doing? It's so great to talk to you.

>> Uh yeah, this is strange. It hasn't been just you and me in a long time. It's usually we got a producer, we got the uh the Roffus and you know uh I actually do you remember it was a few episodes ago Rufus was talking about when he was a kid and he they used to have a a tomato soup can and they would put uh they would record the episode that way. So, I went into the pantry when you couldn't get the equipment working and I was looking I was actually looking for tomato soup can because I was how desperate I was and I was just like we're I'm going to make this work.

I'm going to figure this out. If Rufus T Rufus can figure out how to make a podcast with a uh a tomato soup can, then I I think I can do this. I think I can figure it out. There was There was no tomato soup.

There was no soup at all. There was some uh uh crackers uh that were open and very stale. And there was uh a sleeve of some sort of cookie that looked like an Oreo but was not an Oreo. I think uh I don't know, some sort of off-brand.

And I tried one and my tongue um I can't feel my tongue right now. Is that strange? Is that something that's supposed to happen when you eat a cookie? Nothing.

I mean, I've never had it before, but maybe that's a new thing. I don't know. No. Oh no.

Oh no. I just broke the co cordinal cordinal cardinal rule of podcast. I yawned into the microphone. How are people going to come to this mic this podcast and they're going to say, "Oh, I should be listening to this.

This is something I should be enjoying." And then the host starts yawning. >> Oh, man. What a disaster. >> No, it's good.

Natty, uh, hold on. I just got a phone call. Got a voice message here. I think it's actually from Roffus.

So, I'm gonna see if I can get it up to the microphone to see if we can get it to play. I just to see. I don't know what it's I don't know what it is, but we're kind of floundering here. Hey, Alawish.

This is Roffus. Roffus. It's very cold outside there. I did not want to partake in being part of a podcast today.

All right. So, I came back inside and I Oh, >> so far it's just him saying exactly what just happened, which is perfect. This is good. This is This is taking the podcast in a whole new direction.

Uh, press play. Press play. >> Well, WANTED YOU TO KNOW that uh uh the there's no soup out in the pantry out there. Uh, I brought it all inside.

And there also there's some there's some cookies out there. I do not recommend uh eating them that that's not going to be good for you. I just you don't need to know a lot about the cookies. But all I'm going to tell you is uh refrain if you can from eating them.

They are not for you. All right. >> All right. >> Now, another thing uh Okay.

So, a little bit of the cookie mystery is now solved. Uh, don't know what I ate. Don't know when I'm going to be able to feel my tongue. Cool.

Um, I guess the lesson there is don't just go eating random cookies cuz you don't know what kind of cookie it is or what it's going to do to your tongue. Perfect. So, now we've learned. Good.

So, now the podcast has a good learning lesson to it. But also this this message by Rufus, it just seems to keep going. But I mean again, we don't have anything to to talk. So let's I guess we keep going and seeing what happens that yes, I think that that is really it at this point.

I don't want to say that Rufus is saving the podcast, but uh and it kind of feels like he is a little bit. So I guess go ahead and uh and press play. >> Another thing. And I said another thing.

So that'd be what another one other thing uh that I wanted to discuss was vacation time. Now Alawishas, I know you're not in charge of the schedule and whatnot, but it just feels like uh producers going to if he's leaving for the last two, three weeks of the year, that's a long time for us, especially going into the the new year. We we GOT TO BE RECORDING our whole like best of and our whole wrapped up session, you know, like all the there's like things that all the the people do at the end of the year. So, I think we should probably talk to whoever it is who does the scheduling and and figure out if we can uh how we can better uh address this and you know, but that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about.

Hold on. I'm trying to remember. >> Okay, Natty. Uh, I don't know if that's you thing or who does do we even do we do scheduling?

Is there a calendar or I think from what I understand we just kind of leave and appear whenever we do. I don't know. >> Um, yeah. So, I'll I'll let you handle that.

But, uh, I'm looking at the message, you know, you can see how long it goes. >> Yep. >> We're not even halfway through. So, uh, do you still want to keep going or >> Yeah.

No, no. I mean, I I I feel like maybe at some point we're going to cut it off, but uh he's really he's really rambling right now. He's really going. It's good.

So, um maybe he's going to tell us more about the cookies. I don't know, but sure. Let's let's keep seeing what Rufus is about. So, let's see here.

When I was trying to think about, I turned on the faucet inside the house on the I turned on the the little spigot in here and I turned on the hot and little ice cubes, little ice sickles, ice sickles came out the uh the the the the spout. So, it's it's pretty chilly in here as well. So, I don't know if if uh producer he normally does he control all the the temperatures, all the heat throughout the entire headquarters because it's I'm I'm chilly in here. I came out there chilly.

I came back in here chilly. So, I'm trying I want to figure out how to not be quite so uh chilly. >> Yeah, Natty. I think probably producer does handle all that cuz he just anything technical or electrical I just kind of say like you know what you're doing.

>> So is it possible that he just left and didn't turn the heat on because that >> seems like maybe a real misstep. I uh um you know what hold on a second. I just got a message. This is great.

Good timing. I just got a message from producer. So hold off on the Roffus thing. Let's see what uh producer has to say.

One second. >> Yeah. Hello Nat producer. Sorry I'm on my vacation having a wonderful time and I remembered the couple of things the very important things that I tell you.

Uh do to see there in the studio the the heat and the heat is not on. So don't I wouldn't even bother trying to record when it gets so cold the uh the wires they tend to break. So just you know take a little vacation whatever like I am. It's great.

Uh it's going to be cold in studio. Uh, and also if you go in the studio, do not go in the pantry and eat the cookies. I know they look delicious, but they are frog cookies. Very specific.

Uh, I love them, but they're not for consumption for uh you or Roffus or certainly not Eloishes. Okay, so do not let alicas get into the cookies. >> Hold on. Pause that.

So they this producers just got cookies around not labeled or nothing that are bad for me. Okay. Well, this is good to know. Good to know, producer, wherever you are.

Keep playing the message. I want to hear more. >> Um, also, if you're looking for soup and if you're in the the pantry in the studio, there's no soup. Um, um, um, Lurus has taken all his soup into his room.

And he says any soup that comes into this place goes into his room. So, if you do want soup, distract him and then go get some soup. He's in his room. Okay.

Um, I think that's all I've Oh, wait. Hold on a second here. I'm getting a message. I'm getting a call from from Rufus.

One second. Hold on there. >> Okay. Now, okay.

Now, producer is getting a call from Roffus. Okay. I guess hopefully he'll figure out how to play. Can we hear that?

>> Yeah. Uh, listen up, producer. Uh, make sure you keep it between you and I about the soup being in my room because I I don't I had a situation where I uh, you know, they ate all my soup and then I didn't have nothing to eat and so there's no soup. And so I I what I did uh, I I brought it into my room here and so I got my little soup shelf over there in the corner.

So just please uh have a wonderful vacation. The everything is perfect here. Just do not let them know uh them natty and eloicious about my soup. All right.

Talk to your new year. Happy baby time. Whatever. >> Natty didn't hear that.

Uh let me Anyway, um have a great time. Okay, I'm going to just hang up now because I don't I don't know. This message has been too long. I'm uncomfortable.

I'm very uncomfortable. >> So, let me get this straight. Roffus calls me. Producer calls you.

Roffus calls producer. This is very strange. And we still don't have heat. We still don't have wires, but we do have See that the we still have poison cookies.

So, this is this is working out well. This is, you know, I think we should have just listened and not come in here and not try to record a podcast. Okay. We should just come in.

When producers here, evidently he's in charge. It's his world. We're just hopping in it. >> Yeah.

No, I I usually I would not agree with you. I would be like, "No, we figured it out. We got it done. We You know, but uh we did not.

We failed and this is miserable and oh well." The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https/www.patreon.com/natty.

patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review.

The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Alawishious J. Pig, Rufus T.

Rufus, Doodle, Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our headtalker is probably Natty Bumper Car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/subscribe.

Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at natty bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Natty Bumpercar: So, we came in the studio today, and producer is on vacation for the end of the year, whole frog thing, he goes home to his family, good for him, and we were like, we should record

Aloysious J. Pig: an episode and we can do this by ourselves, we don't even need producer, and well…

Natty Bumpercar: And we fell flat on our faces, okay? So we came in the studio, it was 48 degrees, which is a little bit chilly, and nothing was working.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah.

Natty Bumpercar: And even now, I don't know if anything is working because none of the wires were working,

Aloysious J. Pig: like we plugged everything in and we're like, okay, this isn't working.

Natty Bumpercar: And then we tried some different wires, we tried a whole different system, a different setup, and it also didn't work.

Aloysious J. Pig: And so we're really, we're trying not to complain, because we're like, hey, we're going to be

Rufus T. Rufus: at a PodFest convention, we're going to be speaking, we have all these new people who

Natty Bumpercar: are coming in, they're listening, that's wonderful.

Rufus T. Rufus: And so we're like, oh, let's put out some episodes late in the year and say hi to everybody.

Natty Bumpercar: And this isn't the best foot forward, is what I'm saying.

Aloysious J. Pig: No, it is not.

Rufus T. Rufus: And we're a minute in and, okay, so we're trying not to be negative.

Natty Bumpercar: And our producer is on vacation.

Aloysious J. Pig: And the studio, I didn't know that he comes in and he preheats the studio.

Rufus T. Rufus: I didn't know that that was something that he did.

Aloysious J. Pig: I thought that the studio was always just kind of nice and warm and toasty.

Natty Bumpercar: But it's not.

Producer Dan: And so that's something that we learned today.

Aloysious J. Pig: And we also learned Rufus came in and immediately, I think he got like a step into the studio

Producer Dan: and he just turned and walked away and he said something like, not on my watch, which

Rufus T. Rufus: doesn't even make sense.

Producer Dan: So it's just me, Natty Bumpercar, and Aloysius is here too.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, luckily as a pig, I am immune to cold.

Aloysious J. Pig: And that's not true.

Natty Bumpercar: I'm actually, I, listen, I'm a, I am a pig, I have pink skin. I feel cold constantly. I don't know what the pink had to do with anything. I'm just, I can see my pig breath and everything hurts. Like I sat down on the chair and I was like, this chair is harder than it usually is. Yeah. And yeah, I sat on the couch and it actually, it crinkled like it was frozen or something, which I don't, I hope it's, I don't know why it would be. It would have to be, have been wet to be frozen. And then that's concerning to me as well. Like maybe there's a leak in here or something. But you know what? It's okay. Who cares? We got, we got this thing working and there's so far, there's no feedback and it seems like we're having it. Let's, so let's, you know what? Let's have a podcast. Let's forget the last three minutes of our lives. Hey, Aloysius J. Pig, how are you doing? It's so great to talk to you. Uh, yeah, this is strange. It hasn't been just you and me in a long time. It's usually, we got a producer, we got the, uh, Rufus and you know, uh, I actually, do you remember, it was a few episodes ago, Rufus was talking about when he was a kid and he, they used to have a tomato soup can and they would put, uh, they would record the episode that way. So I went into the pantry when you couldn't get the equipment working and I was looking, I was actually looking for a tomato soup can because I was, how desperate I was. And I was just like, I'm going to make this work. I'm going to figure this out. If Rufus T. Rufus can figure out how to make a podcast with a tomato soup can, then I think I can do this. I think I can figure it out. There was, there was no tomato soup, there was no soup at all. There was some, uh, uh, crackers, uh, that were open and very stale. And there was, uh, a sleeve of some sort of cookie that looked like an Oreo, but it was not an Oreo. I think, uh, I don't know, some sort of off brand. And I tried one and my tongue, um, I can't feel my tongue right now. Is that strange? Is that something that's supposed to happen when you eat a cookie? No, nothing. I don't know. I've never had it before, but maybe that's a new thing. I don't know. New. Oh no. Oh no. I just broke the cold, the cord, cordinal, cordinal, cardinal rule of podcast. I yawned into the microphone. How are people going to come to this mic, this podcast, and they're going to say, oh, I should be listening to this. This is something I should be enjoying. And then the host starts yawning. Oh man. What a disaster. No, it's good. Natty. Hold on. I just got a phone call. I got a voice message here. I think it's actually from Rufus, so I'm going to see if I can get it up to the microphone to see if we can get it to play just to see, I don't know what it's going to, I don't know what it is, but we're kind of floundering here. Hey there, Aloysius, this is Rufus, Rufus, it's very cold outside out there. I did not want to partake in being part of a podcast today, so I came back inside and So far, it's just him saying exactly what just happened, which is perfect. This is good. This is, this is taking the podcast in a whole new direction. Press play, press play. Well, I wanted you to know that there's no soup out in the pantry out there. I brought it all inside. And also there's some, there's some cookies out there. I do not recommend eating them. That's not going to be good for you. I just, you don't need to know a lot about the cookies, but all I'm going to tell you is refrain, if you can, from eating them. They are not for you. All right. All right. Now, another thing. Okay, so a little bit of the cookie mystery is now solved. Don't know what I ate. Don't know when I'm going to be able to feel my tongue. Cool. Um, I guess the lesson there is don't just go eating random cookies because you don't know what kind of cookie it is or what it's going to do to your tongue. Perfect. So now we've learned. Good. So now the podcast has a good learning lesson to it. But also this, this message by Rufus, it just seems to keep going. I mean, again, we don't have anything to talk, so let's, I guess we keep going and seeing what happens. Yes. I think that that is really, at this point, I don't want to say that Rufus is saving the podcast, but it kind of feels like he is a little bit. So I guess go ahead and press play. Another thing, and I said another thing. One other thing that I wanted to discuss was vacation time. Now, Aloysius, I know you're not in charge of the schedule and whatnot, but it just feels like a producer's gonna, if he's leaving for the last two, three weeks of the year, that's a long time for us, especially going into the new year. We gotta be recording our whole best of and our whole wrapped up session, you know, like all the things that all the people do at the end of the year. So I think we should probably talk to whoever it is who does the scheduling and figure out if we can, how we can better address this. But that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about. Hold on. I'm trying to remember. I'm pausing. Okay. I don't know if that's you thing or who does, do we even, do we do scheduling? Is there a calendar? Or I think from what I understand, we just kind of leave and appear whenever we do. I don't know. Yeah. So I'll let you handle that. But I'm looking at the message, you know, you can see how long it goes. Yep. We're not even halfway through. So do you still want to keep going? Yeah. No, no. I feel like maybe at some point we're going to cut it off, but he's really, he's really rambling right now. He's really going. It's good. So maybe he's going to tell us more about the cookies. I don't know. But sure. Let's, let's keep seeing what Rufus is about. So let's see here. When I was trying to think about, I turned on the faucet inside the house on the, I turned on the little spigot in here and I turned on the hot and little ice cubes, little icicles, icicles came out the, uh, the, the, the, the, the spout. So it's, it's pretty chilly in here as well. So I don't know if, if a producer, he normally, does he control all the, the temperatures, all the heat throughout the entire headquarters? Because it's, I'm, I'm chilly in here. I came out there chilly. I came back in here chilly. So I'm trying to, I want to figure out how to not be quite so, uh, chilly. Yeah. Natty, I think probably producer does handle all that because he just, anything technical or electrical, I just kind of say like, you know what you're doing. So is it possible that he just left and didn't turn the heat on? Cause that seems like maybe a real misstep. I, uh, um, you know, wait, hold on a second. I just got a message. This is great. Good timing. I just got a message from producer. So hold off on the Rufus thing. Let's see what a producer has to say. One second. Uh, yeah. Hello, Natty. This is a producer. Sorry. I'm on my vacation, having a wonderful time. And I remembered a couple of things, very important things that I'll tell you, uh, due to see, uh, in the studio, the heat, the heat is not on. So don't, I wouldn't even bother trying to record when it gets so cold. The, uh, the, um, wires, they tend to break. So just, you know, take a little vacation, whatever, like I am. It's great. Uh, it's going to be cold in studio. Uh, and also if you go in the studio, do not go in the pantry and eat the cookies. I know they look delicious, but they are frog cookies. Very specific. Uh, I love them, but they're not for consumption for, uh, you or Rufus or certainly not Aloysius. Okay. Do not let Aloysius get into the cookies. Hold on. Pause that. So they just, producer's just got cookies around, not labeled or nothing that are bad for me. Okay. Well, this is good to know. Good to know. Producer, wherever you are. Keep playing the message. I want to hear more. Um, also if you're looking for soup and if you're in the pantry in the studio, there's no soup. Um, um, um, Rufus has taken all the soup into his room. And he says any soup that comes into this place goes into his room. So if you do want soup, distract him and then go get some soup. He's in his room. Okay. Um, I think that's all I've, oh, wait, hold on a second here. I'm getting a message. I'm getting a call from, from Rufus. One second. Hold on there. Okay. Now. Okay. Now producer's getting a call from Rufus. Okay. I guess hopefully he'll figure out how to play. Can we hear that? Yeah. Uh, listen up producer, uh, make sure you keep it between you and I about the soup being in my room. Cause I, I don't, I had a situation where I, you know, they ate all my soup and then I didn't have nothing to eat. And so there's no soup. And so I, I, what I did, uh, I brought it into my room here and I got my little soup shelf over there in the corner. So just please, uh, have a wonderful vacation. Uh, everything is perfect here. Just do not let them know, uh, them, Natty and Aloysius about my soup. All right. Talk to you New Year. Happy baby time. I wasn't supposed to play that. Whatever. I get confused. Natty didn't hear that. Uh, let me, anyway, um, uh, have a great time. Okay. I'm going to just hang up now. Cause I don't, I don't know, this message has been too long. I'm uncomfortable. I'm very uncomfortable. So let me get this straight. Rufus calls me, producer calls you, Rufus calls producer. This is very strange and we still don't have heat. We still don't have wires, but we do have, see that, that we'd still have poison cookies. So this is, this is working out well. This is, you know, I think we should have just listened and not come in here and not try to record a podcast. Okay. We should just come in when producers here, evidently he's in charge, it's his world. We're just hopping in it. Yeah, no, I, I usually I would not agree with you. I would be like, no, we figured it out. We got it done. We, you know, but, uh, we did not, we failed and this is miserable and oh well. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at NattyBumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at NattyBumpercar. Hugs and hearts! See you soon!

The post Bumperpodcast #466 – Season 3 – Cookies appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.

Natty Bumpercar discusses his frequent distractions, likening himself to a squirrel chasing shiny objects. Rufus T. Rufus humorously corrects him and shares nostalgic stories about using tomato soup cans, contrasting with modern conveniences. The producer mentions technical issues with new equipment. They debate the timing of holiday-themed episodes, with Rufus criticizing early Christmas displays. Natty suggests making their Thanksgiving episode late, mimicking stores’ early holiday promotions. The conversation meanders into a humorous tale about a classmate named Artie Doyle, who aspired to be an author, and the absurdity of his nickname “Tomato Soup Can.”

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In episode 465 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar admits he's been distracted again, leading to another delayed episode. Aloysious J. Pig calls out Natty for trying to do a Thanksgiving episode a week after the holiday, just like their belated Halloween episode. Meanwhile, Rufus T. Rufus launches into an increasingly absurd story about tomato soup cans from "back in the day," claiming they contained just one whole tomato and required opening with a goat's horn. The rambling tale somehow connects to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, whom Rufus claims to have known as "Artie Tomato Soup Can" in school. Producer struggles with the new podcasting equipment while the characters debate holiday timing and question whether any of Rufus's stories are remotely based in reality.

“What is the bumper podcast about? It's about me being distracted, it's about me forgetting I have a podcast, it's about me seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“We're gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday. It's the opposite of stores when you go in and it's November and they got July 4th stuff out.”

— Aloysious J. Pig

“We would take a can, tomato soup, because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time. We would use the goat and his horn and pop that can of soup open.”

— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #distraction #thanksgiving #halloween #nostalgia #tomatosoup #storytelling #holidays #podcasting

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Robot

Natty Bumpercar: so i've been distracted and that's something that happens pretty often i think you know sometimes people say well what is your podcast about what is the bumper podcast about and i say it's about me being distracted it's about me forgetting i have a podcast it's about me uh seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object and picking it up and then dropping it because look over there is another shiny object there's a lot of shiny objects out there and and they all require me to uh you know at least give them some of my attention which then does take away from everything else in my life and and that's fine right that's how life it's

Aloysious J. Pig: how the life of a squirrel works bro bro bro bro hey it's me aloysius jpeg uh you're not a squirrel okay you're like a uh i'm gonna guess middle age probably past middle age uh person who uh talks into a microphone and uh it's a squirrel thing you know like let the squirrels be the squirrels let you do you sorry my voice is a little off today i might i might have caught a cold or something i noticed that um hey everyone it's

Producer: me i'm producer uh so i think part of the problem this week is it's my fault because we have this really fancy um do that uh technical term that we have on the board we have a new board we've had for a year so it's not really all that new but it has a lot of buttons and has a lot of lights and it has a lot of knobs so many knobs and it has um uh slide slidey do's you know the slidey do's and um a screen and uh well i keep on trying to plug it all in and and see what will happen with the podcast and it keeps on uh not not working not working at all

Aloysious J. Pig: now wouldn't you hear everybody this is uh myself rufus to rufus aloysius i think whatever you got i might have caught as well oh that's what happens in the winter time everybody says oh it's too hot oh it's look at i'm sweating all the time it's too hot i wish it was colder and then it gets colder and everybody gets a cold anyway so uh you said that this new system it's got some slidey do's now and i told you you know that was extra money to buy them slidey do's and we don't we don't we don't we don't we excuse me we do not need it all right all we when i was originally doing podcasts back in the day uh i don't you know i don't i know you youngins don't like to hear when i say you know like back in my day but back in my day when we were in podcast what we would do is we would we would uh we would take a can uh tomato soup because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time uh chicken didn't come chicken noodle didn't come until much later so we had our tomato soup and and and we would eat it you know for supper uh one can per family per week and uh we would save up our cans and uh clean them out all good uh and here's the thing when i when i was when i was growing up the cans they didn't they didn't have these little pop tops like y'all have with y'all soup cans now you can just open them up anywhere you can just walk around town open up a can of soup pop and then drink it on up nice delicious lukewarm maybe cold soup in a can oh man the life the life of riley is what we're living we actually had to take a a rock or maybe a a knife sometimes we could take if if if the goat would let us we take the the goat and we'd use his his horn and we pop that little pop you know that can of soup on open pop like that and then but the edges it'd be very jagged right so we couldn't use them for our projects until you're on okay sorry you're on a real roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now all of us are on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what you what's going on and i do want to come back i want to circle back i want to circle back to whatever you're talking about with the soup with the cans the tomatoes the the goat all these things sounds very interesting i'm sure it's gonna really draw in the uh the listenership but uh let's focus back over here real quick on on on natty yeah what what has been so distracting to you that you uh have have uh yet again

Natty Bumpercar: forgotten what you're supposed to be doing i um well i i also i i want to i think the soup thing might be more interesting but you know uh i was thinking about it and you know we had i think the last time we recorded was a big we had a big halloween episode and that was kind of fun and we should make this the uh we should make this our thanksgiving episode and no uh producer i don't know if you're ever able to get in touch with turkey or not but i um

Aloysious J. Pig: producer don't answer that so listen up natty the the halloween episode that we did was fun but it was also a week after at least a week after halloween and now we are again a week after thanksgiving and you're over here like oh so are we gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday you know because in a way i was gonna knock it but it's kind of brilliant because you know people might be like oh i kind of had fun on halloween i kind of miss it oh wait we're still talking about halloween great great great great it's the opposite of like stores when you go in and it's november and they got july 4th stuff out that's too early okay that's why that's i don't want to say what's wrong with the world today because there's a couple of things but i think one of the things is putting out christmas stuff um on february okay that's way it's too early it's thrown everyone's holiday rhythm off so we don't know when we're supposed to oh wait i was supposed to buy the the pool for outdoors in november oh well i i should have thought of that you know no that's not how you put the pool out in in april in may right when we're gonna need the pool not we can't be living in the future or living it sometimes it feels like we're living in the past because you don't know when the holidays are happening and the it's all it's all messed up yeah now now you're talking about it start living in the past you know we just was kind of back in my day uh so we had these cans of soup tomato soup and it wasn't the way it worked but we didn't even it wasn't even soup it was just one tomato sometimes you know inside of a can it wasn't cut up it wasn't i still had the green thing on top right the core i guess it's called they say it says on the can it says uh uh there's tomato soup ready to make or something like i forgot what it was but it was you know right now they used to have these pre-planned meals people get on these uh plans and then and then the box will come over to the house and i guess sometimes it's recipes and sometimes it's just like uh almost like uh what do they call television dinners where the meals already made and put in the little container that's what it was but it was way before and all it was and it said something like just add water just like that right and so you had your tomato and your can for your tomato soup and you would you would get that tomato out and you'd put it in some water and you'd cook it up and and that was the meal that

Producer: we had yeah yeah hold on rufus so i think we're going to we're trying to this year's again we might do a whole episode on this maybe a whole season but i think we're still trying to fuck but i think we should oh okay no we're gonna stick with the soup yeah perfect perfect perfect

Natty Bumpercar: okay my bad i'm sorry no not your fault at all that that was we had talked about getting off the soup but now the soup has become a tomato in a can um so the precursor to these uh home delivered homemade meals or whatever they're called so wait so rufus tomato got it in a can one tomato any specific kind of tomato did it have like uh like a season packet like anything like that you know like sometimes when you get ramen soup it'll have like the the flavorings are actually there in a packet uh in in the can in the well it's like wrapping cellophane or whatever no um no no was that was that in there no no it was it was nothing

Aloysious J. Pig: in the can except for the for the tomato right and here's the funniest thing that we that was like a philosophical question we always had y'all y'all heard about the chicken and the egg i assume right which came first nobody cares but what we want in school we were trying to figure out is how did that tomato get into that can that's okay you're following me that's what you were trying to figure out sorry natty uh i mean the the tomato was put into the can before the can was closed and then the can was closed i mean that's how much how much time we spent in school trying to figure out this big mystery out uh uh oh sir off the conan doyle i am assuming you guys were not what you just made a

Natty Bumpercar: okay uh for anyone who doesn't know that's a weird pull aloysius i didn't know that you sir arthur wait sir r arthur arthur that's a hard word to say sir arthur author author arthur wait no i can't do it sir conan doyle sir

Aloysious J. Pig: jc doyle what is that so his his name so you can cut off the sir right because when i when i when i grew up with him his name was arty so a r t i don't know a r t y r t i e arty arty doyle uh he you know before he got all fancy and hoity-toity but he he stood up one day in class and it was it was not the day that we were discussing the tomato in the can but i remember arty he said you know one day when i grow up when i grows up that's what he said when i grows up because that's how we talked back then we added s's on things you know like we say like look at all those sheeps which we didn't have to do because it's just one sheep anyway arty stood up one day in front of the whole class and he said listen up y'all my name's arty doyle when i grow up i'm gonna be an author and i remember somebody in the back classroom they yelled out you're gonna call yourself arthur and he got so flustered so so red in the face that believe now it comes back oh everything comes back somebody said hey look at old uh look at old arty tomato soup can red in the face that stuck with him his whole life arty tomato here he comes here comes arty tomato soup can oh man the way i look back i can't wait to see him at the reunion no arty it's just tomato soup can whatever happened to him anyway he's you're talking about him over there it is anything that you say based in any kind of reality that you have ever talked about real in any form, in any fashion, in any way? You're telling us that you went to school with Arthur Conan Doyle, who was a very famous Arthur. Wait, now I messed it up too. Arthur. Arthur was an author. Okay. Yeah, got it. You went to school with Artie Doyle. Somebody named Artie Doyle. I can give you that. That part I can accept. But now you're telling me that he stood up, this Artie Doyle, in front of the class, completely separated from the fact that there's a famous Arthur who made up Sherlock Holmes, and he said that he was going to be an Arthur? No. Yeah, it's Artie Tomato Soup Can Head Feast. I forgot. Artie Tomato Coop Sam Mace Place. I got confused.

Robot: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Unknown: Bye.

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Natty Bumpercar: so i've been distracted and that's something that happens pretty often i think you know sometimes people say well what is your podcast about what is the bumper podcast about and i say it's about me being distracted it's about me forgetting i have a podcast it's about me uh seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object and picking it up and then dropping it because look over there is another shiny object there's a lot of shiny objects out there and and they all require me to uh you know at least give them some of my attention which then does take away from everything else in my life and and that's fine right that's how life it's

Aloysious J. Pig: how the life of a squirrel works bro bro bro bro hey it's me aloysius jpeg uh you're not a squirrel okay you're like a uh i'm gonna guess middle age probably past middle age uh person who uh talks into a microphone and uh it's a squirrel thing you know like let the squirrels be the squirrels let you do you sorry my voice is a little off today i might i might have caught a cold or something i noticed that um hey everyone it's

Producer: me i'm producer uh so i think part of the problem this week is it's my fault because we have this really fancy um do that uh technical term that we have on the board we have a new board we've had for a year so it's not really all that new but it has a lot of buttons and has a lot of lights and it has a lot of knobs so many knobs and it has um uh slide slidey do's you know the slidey do's and um a screen and uh well i keep on trying to plug it all in and and see what will happen with the podcast and it keeps on uh not not working not working at all

Aloysious J. Pig: now wouldn't you hear everybody this is uh myself rufus to rufus aloysius i think whatever you got i might have caught as well oh that's what happens in the winter time everybody says oh it's too hot oh it's look at i'm sweating all the time it's too hot i wish it was colder and then it gets colder and everybody gets a cold anyway so uh you said that this new system it's got some slidey do's now and i told you you know that was extra money to buy them slidey do's and we don't we don't we don't we don't we excuse me we do not need it all right all we when i was originally doing podcasts back in the day uh i don't you know i don't i know you youngins don't like to hear when i say you know like back in my day but back in my day when we were in podcast what we would do is we would we would uh we would take a can uh tomato soup because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time uh chicken didn't come chicken noodle didn't come until much later so we had our tomato soup and and and we would eat it you know for supper uh one can per family per week and uh we would save up our cans and uh clean them out all good uh and here's the thing when i when i was when i was growing up the cans they didn't they didn't have these little pop tops like y'all have with y'all soup cans now you can just open them up anywhere you can just walk around town open up a can of soup pop and then drink it on up nice delicious lukewarm maybe cold soup in a can oh man the life the life of riley is what we're living we actually had to take a a rock or maybe a a knife sometimes we could take if if if the goat would let us we take the the goat and we'd use his his horn and we pop that little pop you know that can of soup on open pop like that and then but the edges it'd be very jagged right so we couldn't use them for our projects until you're on okay sorry you're on a real roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now all of us are on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what you what's going on and i do want to come back i want to circle back i want to circle back to whatever you're talking about with the soup with the cans the tomatoes the the goat all these things sounds very interesting i'm sure it's gonna really draw in the uh the listenership but uh let's focus back over here real quick on on on natty yeah what what has been so distracting to you that you uh have have uh yet again

Natty Bumpercar: forgotten what you're supposed to be doing i um well i i also i i want to i think the soup thing might be more interesting but you know uh i was thinking about it and you know we had i think the last time we recorded was a big we had a big halloween episode and that was kind of fun and we should make this the uh we should make this our thanksgiving episode and no uh producer i don't know if you're ever able to get in touch with turkey or not but i um

Aloysious J. Pig: producer don't answer that so listen up natty the the halloween episode that we did was fun but it was also a week after at least a week after halloween and now we are again a week after thanksgiving and you're over here like oh so are we gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday you know because in a way i was gonna knock it but it's kind of brilliant because you know people might be like oh i kind of had fun on halloween i kind of miss it oh wait we're still talking about halloween great great great great it's the opposite of like stores when you go in and it's november and they got july 4th stuff out that's too early okay that's why that's i don't want to say what's wrong with the world today because there's a couple of things but i think one of the things is putting out christmas stuff um on february okay that's way it's too early it's thrown everyone's holiday rhythm off so we don't know when we're supposed to oh wait i was supposed to buy the the pool for outdoors in november oh well i i should have thought of that you know no that's not how you put the pool out in in april in may right when we're gonna need the pool not we can't be living in the future or living it sometimes it feels like we're living in the past because you don't know when the holidays are happening and the it's all it's all messed up yeah now now you're talking about it start living in the past you know we just was kind of back in my day uh so we had these cans of soup tomato soup and it wasn't the way it worked but we didn't even it wasn't even soup it was just one tomato sometimes you know inside of a can it wasn't cut up it wasn't i still had the green thing on top right the core i guess it's called they say it says on the can it says uh uh there's tomato soup ready to make or something like i forgot what it was but it was you know right now they used to have these pre-planned meals people get on these uh plans and then and then the box will come over to the house and i guess sometimes it's recipes and sometimes it's just like uh almost like uh what do they call television dinners where the meals already made and put in the little container that's what it was but it was way before and all it was and it said something like just add water just like that right and so you had your tomato and your can for your tomato soup and you would you would get that tomato out and you'd put it in some water and you'd cook it up and and that was the meal that

Producer: we had yeah yeah hold on rufus so i think we're going to we're trying to this year's again we might do a whole episode on this maybe a whole season but i think we're still trying to fuck but i think we should oh okay no we're gonna stick with the soup yeah perfect perfect perfect

Natty Bumpercar: okay my bad i'm sorry no not your fault at all that that was we had talked about getting off the soup but now the soup has become a tomato in a can um so the precursor to these uh home delivered homemade meals or whatever they're called so wait so rufus tomato got it in a can one tomato any specific kind of tomato did it have like uh like a season packet like anything like that you know like sometimes when you get ramen soup it'll have like the the flavorings are actually there in a packet uh in in the can in the well it's like wrapping cellophane or whatever no um no no was that was that in there no no it was it was nothing

Aloysious J. Pig: in the can except for the for the tomato right and here's the funniest thing that we that was like a philosophical question we always had y'all y'all heard about the chicken and the egg i assume right which came first nobody cares but what we want in school we were trying to figure out is how did that tomato get into that can that's okay you're following me that's what you were trying to figure out sorry natty uh i mean the the tomato was put into the can before the can was closed and then the can was closed i mean that's how much how much time we spent in school trying to figure out this big mystery out uh uh oh sir off the conan doyle i am assuming you guys were not what you just made a

Natty Bumpercar: okay uh for anyone who doesn't know that's a weird pull aloysius i didn't know that you sir arthur wait sir r arthur arthur that's a hard word to say sir arthur author author arthur wait no i can't do it sir conan doyle sir

Aloysious J. Pig: jc doyle what is that so his his name so you can cut off the sir right because when i when i when i grew up with him his name was arty so a r t i don't know a r t y r t i e arty arty doyle uh he you know before he got all fancy and hoity-toity but he he stood up one day in class and it was it was not the day that we were discussing the tomato in the can but i remember arty he said you know one day when i grow up when i grows up that's what he said when i grows up because that's how we talked back then we added s's on things you know like we say like look at all those sheeps which we didn't have to do because it's just one sheep anyway arty stood up one day in front of the whole class and he said listen up y'all my name's arty doyle when i grow up i'm gonna be an author and i remember somebody in the back classroom they yelled out you're gonna call yourself arthur and he got so flustered so so red in the face that believe now it comes back oh everything comes back somebody said hey look at old uh look at old arty tomato soup can red in the face that stuck with him his whole life arty tomato here he comes here comes arty tomato soup can oh man the way i look back i can't wait to see him at the reunion no arty it's just tomato soup can whatever happened to him anyway he's you're talking about him over there it is anything that you say based in any kind of reality that you have ever talked about real in any form, in any fashion, in any way? You're telling us that you went to school with Arthur Conan Doyle, who was a very famous Arthur. Wait, now I messed it up too. Arthur. Arthur was an author. Okay. Yeah, got it. You went to school with Artie Doyle. Somebody named Artie Doyle. I can give you that. That part I can accept. But now you're telling me that he stood up, this Artie Doyle, in front of the class, completely separated from the fact that there's a famous Arthur who made up Sherlock Holmes, and he said that he was going to be an Arthur? No. Yeah, it's Artie Tomato Soup Can Head Feast. I forgot. Artie Tomato Coop Sam Mace Place. I got confused.

Robot: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Unknown: Bye.

Natty Bumpercar: So I've been distracted and that's something that happens pretty often I

Aloysious J. Pig: think you know sometimes people say well what is your podcast about what is the

Natty Bumpercar: bumper podcast about and I say it's about me being distracted it's about me

Rufus T. Rufus: forgetting I have a podcast it's about me seeing a shiny object and running

Aloysious J. Pig: over to that shining object and picking it up and then dropping it because look

Natty Bumpercar: over there is another shiny object there's a lot of shiny objects out there

Aloysious J. Pig: and and they all require me to you know at least give them some of my attention

Rufus T. Rufus: which then does take away from everything else in my life and that's

Natty Bumpercar: fine right that's how life it's how the life of a squirrel works bro bro bro hey

Aloysious J. Pig: it's me Aloysius J Pig you're not a squirrel okay you're like a I'm gonna

Rufus T. Rufus: guess middle-aged probably past middle-aged person who talks into a

Aloysious J. Pig: microphone and it's a squirrel thing you know like but the squirrels be the

Rufus T. Rufus: squirrels like you do you sorry my voice is a little off today yeah I might have

Aloysious J. Pig: caught a cold or something I noticed that everyone it's me and producer so I

Announcer: think part of the problem this week is my fault because we have this really

Natty Bumpercar: fancy doodad technical term that we have on the board is a we have a new board we've had for a year so it's not really all that new but it has a lot of buttons and has a lot of lights and it has a lot of knobs so many knobs and it has some slight slidey-doos you know the slidey-doos and a screen and well I keep on trying to plug it all in and and see what will happen with the podcast and it keeps on not not working not working at all this is myself Rufus T Rufus Aloysius I think whatever you got I might have caught as well that's what happens in the winter time everybody says oh it's too hot oh it's look at I'm sweating all the time it's too hot I wish it was colder and then it gets colder and everybody gets a cold anyway so it said that this new system it's got some slidey-doos now and I told you you know that was extra money to buy them slidey-doos and we don't we don't we don't we don't we excuse me we do not need it all right all we when I was originally doing podcasts back in the day and I don't you know I know I know you youngins don't like to hear when I say you know like back in my day but back in my day when we was doing podcasts what we would do is we would we would we would take a can tomato soup because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time chicken didn't come chicken noodle didn't come until much later so we had our tomato soup and and we would eat it you know for supper one can per family per week and we would save up our cans and clean them out all good and here's the thing when I when I was when I was growing up the cans they didn't they didn't have these little pop tops like y'all have with y'all soup cans now you can just open them up anywhere you just walk around town open up a can of soup pop and then drink it on up nice delicious lukewarm maybe cold soup in a can oh man the life the life of Riley is what we're living now but when I was growing up we actually had to take a rock or maybe a knife sometimes we could take if the goat would let us we take the goat and we'd use his horn and we pop that little pop you know that can of soup on open like that and then but at the edges it'd be very jagged right so we could use them for our products until you're on okay so you're on a real roll right now and I think all of us are on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what should what's going on and I do want to come back I want to circle back I want to circle back to whatever you're talking about with the soup with the cans the tomatoes the goat all these things sounds very interesting I'm sure it's gonna really draw in the the listenership but let's focus back over here real quick on on on that yeah what has been so distracting to you that you have have yet again forgot what you're supposed to be doing I am I also I want to I think the soup thing might be more interesting but you know I was thinking about it and you know we had I think the last time we recorded was a big we had a big Halloween episode and that was kind of fun and we should make this the we should make this our Thanksgiving episode and now producer I don't know if you're ever able to get in touch with turkey or not but I don't answer that certainly listen up Maddie the Halloween episode that we did was fun but it was also a week after at least a week after Halloween and now we are again a week after Thanksgiving and you're over here like oh so are we gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday you know cuz in a way I was gonna knock it but it's kind of brilliant because you know people might be like oh I kind of had fun on Halloween I kind of miss it oh wait we're still talking about Halloween great great great great it's the opposite of like stores when you go in and it's November and they got July 4th stuff out that's too early okay that's why that's I don't want to say what's wrong with the world today cuz there's a couple of things but I think one of the things is putting out Christmas stuff on February okay that's wait it's too early it's thrown everyone's holiday rhythm off so we don't know when we're supposed to oh wait I was supposed to buy the the pool for outdoors in November oh well I should have thought of that you know no that's not how you put the pool out in in April in May right when we're gonna need the pool not we can't be living in the future or living it sometimes it feels like we're living in the past because you don't know when the holidays are happening and that it's all it's all messed up yeah now you're talking about it thought living in the past we just was kind of back in my day so we had these cans of soup tomato soup and it what would a way it worked but we didn't even it wasn't even soup it was just one tomato sometimes you know inside of a can it wasn't cut up it wasn't I still had the green thing on top right the core I guess it's called like an apple core and you know they say it says on the can it says tomato soup ready to make there's something like I forgot what it was but it was you know right now they said I have these pre-planned meals people get on these plans and then the box will come over to the house and I guess sometimes it's recipes and sometimes it's just like almost like what do they call television dinners where the meals already made and put in the little container that's what it was but it was way before and all it was and it said something like just add water just like that right and so you had your tomato and your can for your tomato soup and you would you would get that tomato out and you'd put it in some water and you'd cook it up and and that was the meal that we had yeah yeah so I think we're going to we're trying to disease again we might do a whole episode on this maybe a whole season but I think we're still trying to phone no I but I think we should oh yeah perfect yeah not your fault at all that that was we had talked about getting off the soup but now the soup has become a tomato in a can so the precursor to these home-delivered homemade meals or whatever they're called so wait so Rufus tomato got it in a can one tomato any specific kind of tomato did it have like like a seasoned packet like anything like that you know like sometimes when you get ramen soup it'll have like the the flavorings are actually there in a packet in the can in the well it's like wrapping cellophane or whatever no no that was that in there no no it was it was nothing in the can except for the for the tomato right and it's a funniest thing that we that was like a philosophical question we always had yeah y'all heard about the chicken in the egg I assume right which came first nobody cares but what we want in school we were trying to figure out is how did that tomato get into that can that's okay you're following me that's what you're trying to figure out sorry Natty I mean the tomato was put into the can before the can was closed and then the can was closed I mean that's how much how much time we spend it in school trying to figure out this big mystery out whoa sir off the Conan Doyle yeah I am assuming you guys were not what you just made a good okay for anyone who doesn't know that's a weird pull Aloysius I didn't know that you Sir Arthur wait sir are Arthur Arthur that's a hard word to say sir Arthur author author author wait no I can't do it sir Conan Doyle sir AC Doyle no what is it so is his name so you can cut off the sir right because when I when I when I grew up with him his name was Artie so a RT I don't know yeah T why are TIE Artie Artie Doyle he you know before he got all fancy and hoity-toity but he stood up one day in class and it was it was not the day that we were discussing the tomato in the can but I remember Artie he said you know one day when I grow up when I grows up that's what he said when I grows up that's how we talked back then we added s's on things you know like we say like look at all those sheeps which we didn't have to do because it's just one sheep anyway Artie stood up one day in front of the whole class and he said listen up y'all my name's Artie Doyle when I grow up I'm gonna be an author and I remember somebody in the back classroom they yelled out you're gonna call yourself Arthur and he got so flustered so so red in the face that bleep now it comes back oh everything comes back somebody said hey look at old look at old Artie tomato soup can red in the face that's stuck with him his whole life all the tomatoes here he comes it comes Artie tomato soup can oh man the way I look back I can't wait to see him at the reunion now Artie just tomato soup can huh whatever happened to him anyway he's just talking about him over there it is anything that you say based in any kind of reality is anything that you ever talk I've ever talked about real in any form in any fashion in any way you're telling us that you went to school with Arthur Conan Doyle who was a very famous Arthur wait now I messed it up to Arthur Arthur was an author okay yeah got it you went to school with Artie Doyle somebody named Artie Doyle I can give you that that part I can I can accept but now you're telling me that he stood up this Artie Doyle in front of the class completely separated from the fact that there's a famous Arthur who and you know made up Sherlock Holmes and he and he said that he was gonna be an author no no yeah it's already tomato soup can head face I forgot it's already tomato coupe Sam mace place I got confused the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family-friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at HTTPS colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J Pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals our head talker is probably Natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at Natty bumper car comm slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

The post Bumperpodcast #465 – Season 3 – Tomato Soup Can appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.