July 01, 2026

Monster Happy - Ep. 461

3 minutes

It’s not that I’m Monster Happy, really, for who really likes monsters—even them?

It’s that I’m willing to look for the Happy within who can connect with the Happy in me,

And if they appear to be Callous and Mean at first, well, I can take a little mayhem,

As long as they don’t insist on delusion or destruction, for that’s no way to be free.

[full text below]

Ep. 461 - Monster Happy

We begin as always

with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy,

in Balance and Growth,

of being Mindful and Grateful,

Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza

Haha

My Happy Friends!

I know how to talk to monsters, even those of a high monster station,

I don’t show blatant disrespect, nor aggression, but neither do I cower,

I remain steadfast in my patient dealings, never triggering consternation,

But using good humor, good counsel, and a quiet sense of power.

I’ve known many monsters in my day, you see, as perhaps you have as well,

I’ve even been a monster once or twice, and as such can relate to their pain,

So I try not to judge them too harshly even if they like to raise a little hell,

Now this is not to say I accept or condone it when a monster acts inhumane.

But I can take a lot of heat, my skin is tough, my mind and heart are sound,

And if a monster wants to share, I’m perfectly willing to listen to their woes,

For we all need someone who doesn’t mock us when we wish to get profound,

But they must avoid being too monstrous to me, never stepping on my toes.

I knew a chap in college once who hated me from the jump,

You see, I was friends with a girl he liked, and so he felt I was in his way,

So he told his chums to jeer and shun me, to reduce me to a lump,

But I’m made of stronger stuff than that, my feet aren’t made of clay.

And as it happens he fancied himself a fellow writer and so we shared a class,

His work was good and intricate, too, and he obviously cared quite a lot,

But he got bogged down in the details, making it about as clear as tinted glass,

And then I delivered a fun and riotous tale that never lost the plot.

And he instantly forgot all his hatred for me, and we became the best of pals,

I let him know I appreciated his work without avoiding the flaws in the story,

He was grateful I took the time to comment on his characters, themes, and locales,

He was no monster, just a bard like me who loved fiction in all its freedom and glory.

So, I guess it’s not that I’m Monster Happy, for who really likes monsters—even them?

It’s that I’m willing to look for the Happy within who can connect with the Happy in me,

And if they appear to be Callous and Mean at first, well, I can take a little mayhem,

As long as they don’t insist on delusion or destruction, for that’s no way to be free.

Haha

Yowza

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By Geoffrey Bennett Ulrich

22 ratings