I just finished reading an article online and it talks about this transgender teenager who ended his life in a Correctional Facility and the way the article was written just really bothered me because it's written in the context of hat the teenager had mental health help then perhaps this would have happened and that may or may not be true but the article talked about all the labels that this poor teenager inherited like schizophrenia symptoms borderline personality disorder trauma gender identity issues and just putting all these labels on this poor person who's no longer here and then at the end of the article it says if you're transgender or gender non-conforming and considering suicide call this number I thinking gender non-conforming what does that even mean like that is just the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard like as if somebody wants to call hotline after reading that oh I'm a non-conforming person it's just ridiculous and then the article talks about how this teenager was just granted a clinical help and then a few hours later was found not living and I don't think they yet were able to intervene with the clinical help but it acts like Oh had they just had clinical help everything would have been fine and that is far from the truth I feel like if this poor person got wind that they were going to have extra help that might have given them more impetus to say I don't want that help and this person was in there for lighting their house on fire setting fire to their house that kind of shows like the person's like fu that get away from me parents and then the parents are trying to come at this poor teenager with all this psychological clinical intervention the person's like peace out world it's just such a sad story because it's contorted in such a way that it's like oh well we need more clinical help for these people when it's not true we need more love and more understanding and more empathy and more compassion and daily life not more clinical interventions once somebody's out their wit's end like how did that even get to that point it's just so sad and terrifying it because what people think is help for people is not really that helpful it can be a good temporary band-aid but it doesn't fix anybody's problems I guess I'm just feeling a little bit ger about it because I have to make a choice between staying here and working and and maybe leaving the country for a bit to explore different opportunity and I don't know right now I'm on the path of the job but I don't even know if I feel comfortable working in the job and maybe I do more so on some days than others it's really difficult because I don't know peer support really fits that well within the mental health system it's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole as its said just doesn't really fit and so am i setting people up for for disaster for failure because I know for myself working in peer support was kind of a failure and a disaster for me and I love supporting people but it's so difficult to support it within a context of something's wrong with the people not something's wrong with the greater whole of things and why do people get to that point and what I shared about that talk I went to her they said well how do you deal with so much child abuse and societal inequalities well you just medicate the people that aren't able to get through it because it's sort of designed so it happens to a large portion of people and I don't know if I want to work in terms of the reaction to something that happens so far down the line and it's putting the blame on the person like to put the blame on a person and say oh they're mentally ill is psychological scapegoating so I'm just having trouble with that today and maybe other things in general and this morning I woke up and I felt like huh maybe I'm sort of done making videos I don't know if anything else is going to really come through me and then I was editing my last two videos and I wrote bunch more stuff that made sense at the time so maybe it would be nice if I would be able to get to what i wrote quicker because if I can then it'll be more freshen in my brain in terms of what I was thinking because I the last videos I did I only really read out or talked about half of what i wrote down it's maybe because it just wasn't really resonating at the moment and these videos again are not about oh there's one way of seeing it alternative to the medical paradigm so there's a million other ways to think about it and see it and we can be creative and we can think about it in different ways and we can use our brains to think about it instead of just buying into the stigma story and that's the thing once a person gets a label they acquire the allostatic load of the stigma and then are said to need to recover from the label more so and the allostatic load of the label more so than the actual distress which may or may not be mental illness and I wrote down a note again about how it's not just about learning to control ourselves in different states of consciousness it's also about changing our behaviors in more balanced states of consciousness if you want to say that in order to create more neural pathways so when that extra energy comes in we have more degrees of freedom through which we can choose to express that energy in all those different states and part of that is also making relational pathways so not just behaving by oneself and a vacuum but ways of relating and that is a relational pathway and it's to do with the mirror neurons as well so extra energy wants to be made relational and I think part of it is to do with this urge to create new language and some of it is relational language not just language of the ego and me and my own desires and personal goals but relating and what can we build together and I think our ego structure is implied in the way we use language and that could be one of the ways that language is actually turned against us that's turned inward and circular in our prefrontal cortex and it's not allowed to just channel through us there needs to be a worldcentric language a language knowing that we're all the same and it's all one organism like ants imagine if all the ants started acting on their own we're being thanked by our own voice we're not actually thinking and we feel we have the freedom of choice because we can choose one sentence in our brain in our own voice over another and we just pick between those two sentences but both are sentencing us to a life of limitation based on our own past thoughts in our own voice and the thing with this worldcentric consciousness and perception this trans consciousness we start to feel ourselves differently we start to experience feelings and emotions and sensations that our ego self or linear thought pattern would block off and that linear thought pattern is our own voice is sound and there are other vibrations that we would sense and feel if we weren't blocked by the sound of our own voice and the ego is actually 741 Hertz which is dissonant with the frequency of love and we would actually be in contact with that frequency and that frequency would feed us different sounds and images on our mind screen which would actually be congruent with the field of love that nature and the universe is and the sound of our voice is what actually moves us out of alignment with the field of gravity so working on one's posture is one way to quiet one's own voice and one's own head slightly and I wonder because they talk about how our intentions in our language changes our DNA or changes the structure of the water in our body well I wonder if we have worldcentric intentions because it's one thing to just change one's thoughts from bad about oneself to good about oneself but what about if one isn't thinking about oneself at all what if one is thinking about the greater humanity I feel the sound of our own voice our ego this discordant frequency pulls us out of alignment with the universal mind which we have access to at any moment it doesn't take time there's no such thing as personal develop to make the ego better and better and better that is just a thought that is just a sound in our mind it's not actuality actualities when the mind is silent and then we're actually in the field of love which is 528 Hertz with no discordant ego happening and that only takes snap of a finger so personal growth is false it's actually just something that happens in a moment and when a person is in the field of love and congruent with that one flowers one doesn't need to think about personal growth it's a flowering of consciousness because we are also that love and they talked about in that Len Horowitz interview that a blade of grass vibrates at 528 Hertz which is the frequency of love well I feel we also vibrate at 528 Hertz and I think that's actually her adjacent light body vibration but when we're having our own ego thoughts in her own head it pulls us out of alignment with that and we're not anymore vibrating at 528 Hertz because we have this voice in our head going blah blah blah and that sound is permeating our entire being it's not just happening in our head it's changing every single cell in our body and pulling us and pulling us into the field of gravity and when we're pulled into the field of gravity like that when we're out of alignment we feel ourselves more when we feel ourselves more we feel ourselves as separate when we're in alignment we feel ourselves and we arise as the relationship as the oneness that we're all in that field of love of 528 Hertz and our own voice in our own head is constantly bringing up old memories and we do that in order to avoid pain so if we have a painful that and we bring up a pleasurable memory then we feel pleasure and then this just keeps going and going and we're living in our own memories and that would be like using our smartphone just to look at old pictures and never doing anything else with it and looking at all the time and not looking around at what's going on outside which is kind of how it's getting but it's sort of like that I feel 528 Hertz is hypo front ality so Steven Kotler talks about transient hypo front ality which happens in flow well I feel that we can be in hypo fertility all the time it doesn't have to be transient it's just when the mind isn't chattering when it's not chattering we're in the field of love which is 528 Hertz which is all of nature and Gaia and we're part of Gaia and if we were in the field of love we would be cooperating and collaborating with the energy of Gaia and so I think that to think we need this cognition going on all the time that's actually what is making us feel separate and when we don't have that happening we feel oneness so to need to train to be some kind of extreme athlete in order to do that it actually takes no time at all and to Len Horowitz talked about a gross onyx which is using sound to make plants grow more well I think there's actually Gaius onyx which is just the frequency of love in there's that sonic energy all around us 528 Hertz is the c-note it's an actual sound so when we're not hearing the sound of our own voice which is interfering with the sound of 528 Hertz we are sensing that 528 Hertz with our heart and that feeds different sounds into our brain which are barely perceptible it more feels like intuition and that could be partly what intuition is we sort of hear this and see this and since this thing and it's very very quiet sound like it's like how do i know that i didn't think that myself but it's this impression this pattern this holistic perception that comes up and that's more how we can actually perceive all the time if our minds aren't chattering I'm not saying anything new this is all that Eckhart Tolle is talking about all the time is a silent mind and I would actually like to thank him for my silent mind because it was his process that allowed my mind to become silent and so our brain our ego operates on pleasure pain seeking pleasure and avoiding pain so we use happy images if we're in pain and the painful images come back so then we use the pleasurable images again but we're actually using these images in our mind these illusions as self-medication and what happens is an image goes into the mind that's pleasurable and we actually receive a hit of dopamine for example and then a painful image comes in and we try to either bring in a pleasurable image which gives us the dopamine again or we say go and eat a cookie or go and watch TV so all these things that give us dopamine before I talk about that I realized i've talked before about how the voice in our head scrambles the flow energy that we would otherwise have access to so that prefrontal cortex stuff is mostly just noise and it's scrambling the energy and that makes sense in terms of the sound so the sound is coming in and hitting the heart because there's a heart brain and that information there's seven times as many neural pathways up to the brain so it's supposed to be actually sending information to the brain from the heart and and I think that's partly blocked because we're playing images on our mind screen which is actually interfering and blurring our actual vision of the outside if we're not actually looking outside fully if we have all these interference patterns of images in the way then there's no way that that sound energy that hits the heart the 528 Hertz can actually be seen because it's not seen with our perception with our eyes so the image is interfering and the sound is interfering with the sound of the 528 Hertz as well 528 Hertz is probably the sound of silence and that's what I was talking about before with how the prefrontal actually wastes energy if the sound energy is coming in the sound in our mind which is discordant is wasting the energy that we always have access to every moment it's not about producing better voices in our head in order to get to that it's about silence and it's obviously about silence in a way because that's what flow researchers are researching the researching how people that get to extreme athlete status are able to shut their mind up because they basically have to in order to be that elite and one of the ways that one of the reasons why they like doing it is because it makes them have a silent mind and it makes them feel free but we don't have to be extreme adventure athletes in order to do that it's accessible to us right this moment not five steps or ten steps or twelve steps right now and that's the only time we can ever access it is now because if we're thinking we're not in the now and also I think I said last video how then Horowitz said that water is a super conductor of light and sound so if you think of the light and sound energy around us and the sound energy of 528 Hertz it comes into our apparatus and if we're perceiving it that's going to change the structure of water in our bodies and that's going to change our posture and our strength and our alignment and it's also going to change how we transmit the sound so right now we're just transmitting the sound of our ego voice and it's messing up the structure of our water and it's just keeping us stuck in that limited space with our own self but if we are decoupled from that and if it's quiet then all of a sudden our whole structure chefs immediately because the structure of water shifts immediately and the sound is of 528 Hertz is able to be channeled through us but as soon as we start chattering on it's over we shift back and that's why in moments of awe when we are we're awestruck and we're not thinking we lose perception of ourselves we are almost everything in that moment but then it switches back and we're just in our thinking mind again I drew a little drawing again so this is the 528 Hertz coming up to the brain and then there's this I think it's 741 I can't remember in the prefrontal cortex which is like scrambling as a key and this pretty much is our ego self which represents society so it's sort of a mirror of that and this represents knowing like I am ms she is this which is the judge and we actually need a space of not knowing and wondering and being open and curious in order to suspend this that's how we are as children and I wrote down a variation of the quote I think therefore I am I wrote I think therefore i think i know which is actually pretty dangerous because we're limited by what we think we know and we can't really see anything outside of that and the 744 hurts or the 741 I can't remember is the ego thinking and it thinks therefore it thinks it's separate it thinks it's an ego it could even be said I think therefore I am lonely and I again think that if we can see with our hearts we don't need science because seeing what their hearts is actually seeing holistically and it paints a picture on our mind screen of sounds and images that make things really obvious our strongest perceptual apparatus is clear eyes and a clear heart and when the ego is scrambled or quiet then the heart mind can give the proper information to the brain as the brain hasn't been hijacked by ego thinking process of one's own voice and one's own head it's amazing how we've been imprisoned by our own voice I also feel that if the brains not getting proper information from the heart mind then the brain is going to decay decays by the limited structure of society and the ego actually blocks the endo mimetics so I talked before about endo mimetics and that's the memes the ideas and thoughts and insights that come out of nowhere kind of like Eureka or serendipity we can have a lot of these if we're perceiving reality without self abstraction and conceptualization about past memories that aren't part of the present moment if we're carrying the past into the present we can't meet the present and see the present for what it is but when we can that's the sound 528 Hertz I believe that when it hits the heart and when we're seeing with their eyes through this out 528 Hertz not the images that are produced by the 744 741 hurts those produce images that get in the way when we're silent were in 528 mode and then that hits our heart and produces the endo mimetics the new memes and the new perceptions that we can see and wonder about and that's part of the inner science like oh that's interesting like today I saw two daddy long leg spiders in my place and they were both doing this weird thing where they're like on the wall like really eat squash to the wall in like a mini web by themselves and I was I saw them there like that two days ago and then I looked today and I thought oh I think they're waiting to see if it's safe to actually make their full little web cuz i recently vacuumed and probably got their webs they seemed to like know I was gonna vacuum because they all moved so their webs are gone so it almost looks like they're just kind of waiting and biding their time to be like where should I make my web la-dee-da and I don't know if that's true but it was much more interesting than 0 10 years ago blah blah blah blah blah blah blah so it's just one of those things that I could think that say I'm going to spend the next 10 years doing scientific experiments to prove that or i could just rely on my own inner wisdom to think well that may or may not be true I don't know interesting insight but by having that clear perception i was able to have that insight and doesn't really matter if it's true it's just interesting and it's it's creative it's something different it's something new and if we were able to see reality in those ways all the time with so many different things that we see there'd be less need for TV and i'm not saying thinking that a spider on the wall is more interesting that TV but it can be I feel like when we're in that field of 528 Hertz and were one with it we have access to that information because we are one with it it's the same vibration whatever it is at that vibration we can perceive at that level and speaking of dr. David Hawkins I haven't really talked that much about his work because I haven't been reading it recently but I have in the past and he talks about muscle testing and it's interesting since my last hospitalization I always test strong for everything so it no longer works for me and I don't know if that's a good sign or a bad sign but I used to be able to do like push my own arm and say my name and then say a different name and then it would be weak but now it's just strong no matter what I ask and you'd have to look up applied kinesiology and muscle testing to know what I'm talking about but I just find it strange that I see it as now I'm in a field of strength perhaps so can't really use it anymore maybe and just perceiving itself is the same thing as that like the feeling of strength or weakness inside based on what I am perceiving in a way like the article I read today that made me feel awful and weak not intellectually but actually I feel too like being out of alignment with gravity due to the ego thinking process and other things but one of them is the ego thinking process is one of the things that causes the epigenetic changes like actually being out of alignment with gravity is going to change our genetics ever so slightly so that would perhaps create a selective pressure to perhaps create more of a certain protein that holds our muscles to our bones stronger so then now our muscles shortened because we need more tendon or ligament for example and I'm just making that up but it would make sense that over time even over time when we hunch forward eventually our vertebrae they actually fuse together in our neck to keep us up against the force of gravity and if we are in proper alignment that's not going to happen our vertebrae won't fuse together like that so the field of gravity would be the one to cause the genetics to change in such a way for the bones to create more bone tissue to fuse it together now what other epigenetic changes are created by being out of alignment with the field of gravity besides structural ones like that and again it's all the same thing I'm seeing a lot of what I'm saying is circular because it's the ego thoughts the sound the discordant sound that pulls a set of alignment partially as well as say physical injury and then that pulling out of alignment causes epigenetic changes from the field of gravity as well as epigenetic changes from the actual voice and the sounds which is our intention and our thoughts which changes the structure of water which would also change our alignment in the field of gravity as well as change the structure of water so it's a different conductor of sound and light as it's a liquid crystal semi conductor of sound and light so it's going to not be able to receive the 528 Hertz from the universe and that's why I say there are special messages from the universe as 528 Hertz which we see that 528 Hertz everywhere but when we're thinking in 741 or 744 it's blocking us from seeing that because the images are in the way and it's interference pattern in the way and the prefrontal cortex is scrambling that energy so there's an energetic thing going on a sound thing going on a light thing going on and I think sound and light are related and perhaps it is that they're related through water maybe that's the thing that the Dolphins give the clue to with how they produce those underwater loops and when they produce them out of their their sonar device thing it produces light so they're able to produce light with making sound bubbles so the way light and sound are related could be actually through water and I remember saying in a different video I think that I had a different insight that I think I'm more thirsty because I'm doing a lot of talking and talking actually makes you lose water and doing hours of talking on these videos but I'm seeing to that it could be that if my structure is shifting again that I might need more water and it could be however much the brain is made up of water too when the water and the brain shifts and it's more able to receive this 528 Hertz as well and I think there's still part of us that's always receiving the 528 Hertz and to me that's the adjacent light body and the adjacent leg body could just be the light and then we're mostly water and minerals and minerals or frequencies of light and then the sound so we're made out of like sound minerals which are frequencies of light so light light sound and water so that's kind of or made out of and sound could be one of the underlying principles but since we don't have silent minds we're operating in a disordered fashion so when we're in 528 Hertz mode which is kind of silence in a way it's sound but it would be a silent mind we're in that map consciousness which is more the dimension of light and sound of the human collective unconscious so when we decouple from our own personal ego sound we can go into the light sound dimension of the collective unconscious and when we're perceiving and seeing and acting based on that eventually it becomes too incongruent with this outer reality normally our compass is our ego voice at 741 or 7 544 hurts don't know which it is and so when we drop into 528 Hertz we have a different compass and that compass is beyond duality of good bad right wrong it's transpolar in a way it's trans consciousness as its trans duality that experience is always richer there's different feelings and thoughts and it's not just me yes me know good bad whatever it's a state based on sameness which were not usually used to operating base on sameness how there's so much similarity and it makes us gravitate towards everything because it feels so one when we're not making these distinctions and judgments with our ego we actually have a lot more energy and when we do it allows this other state to arise we arise as the sameness in relationship we don't arise as the judgment that differentiates and finds differences and that could be part of how it gets scary as we see that we are the same as the person who's judged is the worst of the worst and we're the same as the highest of the highest and everything in between we can arise as anything given certain situation like if we look at somebody we feel that and we feel that sameness because we know if we were living their life we would be in their exact same shoes we're just not living their life we didn't have that path but we can see how we could have or we might have or we might and when we feel that sameness inside we feel more responsible we feel more able to respond because we can actually feel what it's like and there's all these inner human dimensions that we have access to that are blocked by inner men tations thoughts and the internment ations create inner time and space and that inner time and space blocks all the million possible rich experiences of the inner human dimensions and that's not even just the characteristics that we think of that I've mentioned say play laughter love connection whatever I'm seeing to that each moment is new and there's no moment ever to be repeated and if we're in those inner human dimensions of that multidimensionality it's actually infinite so we can experience our life in each moment as it unfolds always in an entirely different way and it just becomes more and more rich not good bad right wrong yes no pleasure pain those are very limited and that's how we experience it and we base it on the past images that we've recorded and since we're recording and facing things on past images were experiencing things in a very very very limited way each moment is always knew I think that's part of the inner human dimensions I never realized that until now that it's always new it's not just about say eight dimensions or 20 dimensions or their I have an appt universe of emotions with like 20,000 emotions those are 20,000 emotions but there's probably zillions of actual ways to perceive in a way because even with that example with the spider on the wall that was just one thing but if that happened each moment that I was perceiving and wondering and curious it would always be something new if I was always looking at something different and wondering and something came to my mind screen through the endo mimetics by being connected to 528 Hertz it would always be new would be like watching a new TV show every second of every day that was just completely new and fresh and I think life is supposed to be that way and in a way people who say take LSD often experience themselves as like a distant star and a plant and an amoeba each one of those is a rich experience in its own and unique so even we can experience that and we are in a way because everything is experiencing everything and we're connected to everything so we could tune in to those other things but we're tuned into our ego so we don't tune into or ask or perceive those other things and if we did long enough perceive and understand we would understand what it is that we're here to be doing if people could actually look at things and understand we wouldn't harm other things because the things that are harmed we would look at and feel that harm and feel ourselves as that and we would be completely terrified we need to be our embodied humanik selves hu dash manic as in the colors the spectrum of mania mania gives us access to the entire spectrum of human consciousness and it's just a taste because again what arises each moment is always brand-new but we go back into our ego self and go back to experiencing and re experiencing our old conceptualizations memories and abstractions about ourselves Oh 50 minutes

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