Morning Mental Health Update: Email: To my loving wife and entire medical team: I was not going to communicate anything to anyone today, but plain and simple: I feel awful, ashamed, etc., a waste. I was going to be on non-com for the day if not the week or even the month, or so. I'm fine. I'm safe. Privacy sign has been on since yesterday; back bedroom door unlocked in case any of you think I'm taking my life. I am NOT suicidal. The only thing I NEED is NO CONFLICT. Sometimes, this illness can really suck. And with that said, I am going to move onward, alone for now. I just don't know if I will ever open up again in my life. Therapy was EXTREMELY difficult yesterday and still is, although it was extremely helpful. I want you to know that I love you and all human beings. And again, I am safe. I just need to stay put, not lifting another finger to do a thing. Just sit, or lie down or sleep. Thank you. P.S. If you are mad at me, that is not my issue, nor will it ever be if anyone has any ill feelings towards me. I can't handle the simplest conflict, even with having had decades of therapy. Thank you, I will try to check messages. I sure hope NONE are negative. Sometimes this schizophrenia is just far too much for me to handle. Feel free to share this. I do not care. Love, Jonathan 

P.S. After writing what I just did and while sleepless, due to the fact that I still have hope, I have removed the do not disturb sign off my office door, which is now unlocked. I suppose it is time to begin again. But I am still extremely vulnerable at the moment. I have to remember that most of yesterday was an excellent exhilarating day. Until my next episode, thank you, everyone for your continued support and encouragement.