In a week in which the Tories announced a dementia tax and then, curiously, forgot about it, all in the space of a week, the team are back to lose the election that is the world of football.

This week the episode is all about you. Over the last few weeks we asked you to send us in your Questions that No One is Asking so that we could answer them on the show today. We’ve picked the best five to answer and the best of the best will receive a free copy of one of Guillem Balague’s books on Pep.

Once that’s out of the way, we’ll be moving on to Organised Fun which, this week, is a return to the old classic Just a Minute. Ceylon and Geeson will battle it out in the course of 60 seconds without hesitation, repetition or deviation. Geeson’s been practicing his inaugural speech for his Stars in their Eyes 2017 Tony Blair act so Ceylon has her work cut out.

All this and more beside in this week’s episode of A Team of John O’Sheas…

In a week in which Jose Mourinho claimed that a semi-final match against Celta Vigo was the ‘most important match of Manchester United’s history’, the team is back to spout the bollocks that is the world of football.

Narrative, narrative, narrative. That’s all we bloody get these days. Far be it from us at A Team of John O’Sheas to suggest that the actual football we watch should be enjoyable in some way. Now it seems as though the players have left it to the media to add the finishing touches to their playing style. Conte is now the greatest manager for thinking of playing 3 at the back. Arsenal want Wenger out until the point at which they realise he won’t be out and then they want him in in order that they might do well enough that when they get him out in the summer it’ll be all ok. Tony Pulis gets to 40 points and then stops playing – says the media who basically wait until Tony Pulis gets to 40 points then publish articles on how he only gets to 40 points EVERY SEASON. Marco Silva is a great manager despite Hull going down. Paul Clement is a shit manager despite keeping Swansea up. And lets not even get started on the European leagues.

This week, our question is this: does a proliferation of media narratives about a football league indicate that the league is in a terrible condition? Well… it will be the question when we finally work out what a narrative is in the first place…

All this and more beside on this week’s episode of A Team of John O’Sheas…

Gary Lineker once quipped that “Football is a simple game: twenty two people run around after a ball and after 90 minutes the Germans win.” A similar thing could be said about podcasts: in every podcast, three boring middle-class white men go around chatting balls and after 60 minutes no one wins.

As such, we feel as though this week we should turn our hands at something that actually approaches a specialism for us: the capacity to boredom. This week, we’re doing a Countdown Episode trying to determine the 7 most boring people in football…

The boring persons football pundit has organised fun for us yet again. He’ll pit Will ‘Tedium’ Geeson against Patrick ‘Ennui’ McCloskey. I’ll be surprised if we – let alone you – even make it to the end of the show…

All this and more beside in this week’s episode of a Team of John O’Sheas

In a week in which another European country resisted the temptation to drop out of Europe at the earliest possible stage, the Team are back to focus their efforts on the second-rate competition that is the world of football.

For the first time in our history, the French are being governed by a man who shares the name of a tin pot fashion brand.

Having run as an individual candidate, Macron is now facing Le Penalty of having to fill positions in his team. This is a really tenuous link to today’s question which isn’t looking at French politics at all but raises the issue of the difficulty of filling positions in a football team. Is it easier to find good attackers or good defenders these days? Should we do our best to keep certain players over others when it comes to the crunch? Is there a difference between left and right?

All this and more besides in this week’s episode of A Team of John O’Sheas…

In a week in which Harry Redknapp managed to wind down the car window of time, lean out and give two fingers to the gods of the EFL, the Team are back together to wheel their way through the deal that is the world of football.

Here at A Team of John O’Sheas, we sometimes tire of the rigid predictability of the football narratives. Jose Mourinho spoke some bollocks. Arsenal perked up at the end of the season. Spurs bottled it. Chelsea were destined to win the Premier League. Yadda yadda yadda.

In these times, we like to hide away in our happy format - What If – where we pose the most hypothetical of scenarios to try to pretend we don’t live in the country with a league that has the biggest discrepancy between expenses and watchability in world football.

This week, in celebration of the man who looks like a Madame Tassaud’s creation that has been left out in the sun for too long, we’re stretching the limits of modality by asking the question: What If Harry Redknapp’s parent’s had never met?

The thinking person’s football pundit has Organised Fun this week. He’s pitting two of the most sonorous voices to have ever appeared on the podcast against each other: can bass Will Geeson counter tenor Harry Bradford this week? That’s a choir joke.

All this and more beside on this week’s episode of A Team of John O’Sheas.

In a week where each of the top 4 sides were falling over each other to avoid Champions League qualification, the Team are back to defer the responsibility that is the world of football.

One British team who is bucking this trend towards inadequacy is Celtic. Winning the SPL weeks before it was scheduled to finish, Brendan Rodgers is presumably ecstatic at his teams “outstanding character” etc etc etc. If ever there was a season in which it could be argued that Celtic deserved a tilt at the premier league it is this one then. The team looks at this, asking how Celtic would perform if they were given the chance to play at the highest level in England.

All this and more beside in this week’s episode of A Team of John O’Sheas…

We live in troubled times. Arsenal aren’t going to finish in the top 4. Manchester United are. David Luiz made the PFA team of the year. Sam Allardyce would have won the league if he was managing Palace from the beginning of the season.

We live in a world turned topsy-turvy. What we need is a Strong and Stable podcast to carry us through these troubling times. You ask me why the world is the way it is? All I know is that a Strong and Stable podcast... A podcast that is Strong and Stable… is only guaranteed if you listen to this podcast… the Strong and Stable football podcast that answers the questions that people who want Strong and Stable podcasts are asking.

As part of our Strong and Stable episode this week, we’re returning to that Strong and Stable format: Make a Case. At the close of this troubling season, some players are looking for more Strong and Stable employment. This week, each of the panellists will have to make a case for why a randomly selected player should sign for another randomly selected club.

The Strong and Stable person’s football pundit, Jon Mackenzie, has Organised Fun this week. He’ll be pitting infamous cheat, Will Geeson, against Patrick McCloskey who is definitely not from Ireland.

All this and more beside in this week’s episode of A Team of John O’Sheas…

In a week where Will Geeson still hasn't managed to free Ireland, the Team are back to ask who would in a fight between Jurgen Klopp and Mauricio Pochettino?

Jon Mackenzie, the self-proclaimed thinking dickhead's football pundit, takes issue with this my da' is bigger than your da'-esque discussion and so will be doing everything in his power to railroad our analysis of Jurgen's potential for throwing jabs. He will be commenting on things like 'football' and 'Pochettino's managerial record'.

Ceylon Hickman, who we all suspect of secretly being a Liverpool fan, has a lot to say about Jurgen Klopp and will be attempted to explain his success on Merseyside over the noise of Will Geeson practicing his inaugural MP speech.

All this and more beside on this week's episode of A Team of John O'Sheas...

In a week where long-term-listener-of-the-show, Theresa May, paid tribute to the Team of John O'Sheas philosophy by giving us an election no one is asking for, the Team are back to take your minds of the snap nuclear war abyss that was this week.

The more hardcore listeners among you may remember that, a few weeks ago, we promised that we would not under any circumstances whatsoever ever bring you an episode on the PFA Awards. So our episode this week will be on the PFA Awards. We assure you that we bring you this episode because we believe it to be in our best interests and not because we are taking advantage of reduced ratings suffered by other episodes.

All this democratic illegitimacy and much more beside on this week's episode of A Team of John O'Sheas...

In a week in which the world was made aware of the grim reality of Tony Adams’ coaching style, the Team are back to crab around the pitch that is the world of football.

Speaking of let downs, today we’re looking at all those players who are let down by their team mates. Should Xherdan Shaqiri be in a team that is vying for the top of the table? Has Jermain Defoe done enough to come back in from the cold and into one of the big six teams? Is Riyad Mahrez good enough to win the Premier League? And what about all of these players in one team? How good would they be? Our question this week is: How high would an All Star XI from the bottom half of the Premier League table finish?

All this and more beside in this week’s episode of A Team of John O’Sheas…