Mostly Murder (But Sometimes Not)

It’s time to spend the summer in Gravity Falls! We watched the third episode of season one “Headhunters” and unpacked a surprising amount of detail from a 22-minute episode of animated television. The four of us talk about the mechanics of ax handling, when kids learn about John Wilkes Booth, how amazing dogs are and how much we want Ducktective to be real. (Like, so much.) Katy extols the virtues of Coolio’s cookbook, Carrie takes offense at miner discrimination, Maddy discovers she has goat blindness and Mack disparages the writing of LOST. We also discuss local boat accidents, the possibility of woolly mammoths trampling around in Boston, and how we all say “hors d’oeuvre” differently in our heads even though we know the proper pronunciation (Horse divorce? Really?). Enjoy! Originally recorded November 2017. SERIES SPOILERS

SPECIAL NOTE: We do mention the practicalities of Santa Claus, so please listen with caution around little ones and those for whom you want to preserve some magic.

Welcome to Film 101! We watched the first film in our tin that appears on the AFI’s Best 100 Movies list, Alfred Hitchcock’s 1954 feature Rear Window. We talk about the amazing and suspenseful worldbuilding of the film, using music, lighting, soundscapes, background actors and sets to essentially create Hitchcock’s Dream Dollhouse™. Katy channels a bit of her inner white male film nerd (sorry), Carrie gets grossed out by what might be under Jimmy Stewart’s cast, Maddy falls asleep again, and Mack attempts to do-wop. We also discuss costumes and handbag etiquette, Flavor Flav, petty revenge, the enforced morality of the 1950’s and why the hell would people keep their blinds open 24/7?!? Maddy and Carrie both cried about a dog (valid) and we try to lay out the exact order of the murder as honestly this film is very good and the last bit is so tense you can’t really catch a breath—even Maddy’s notes turned into all CAPS by the end. Grab your binoculars (or headphones) and join us! Originally recorded October 2017.

Correction Section:

Dr. Crippen was hanged in London for murdering his wife Cora. But you should really read about the whole case because it involves bad disguises, transatlantic crossings, strongwomen and Michigan State University.

TW: Attempted suicide, murder, beheading/dismemberment, animal death

“Let’s talk about cannibalism!” We go full book club and talk about our first mystery/thriller read—The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris! We try to avoid talking about the filmed version as we all read the book, so instead we talk about murder houses and whether we’d live in them (even if they are prime Chicago real estate), the mechanics of reading about/picturing book characters and how we love dogs so, so much. Katy defends the Tower of London, Carrie thinks everyone is just too smart for real life, Maddy has a crisis of identity, and Mack realizes he doesn’t understand the feminine mind (spoiler: just get a dog). We also discuss how much we hate Chilton, proper FBI protocol, and what being “on the juice” means. Pour yourself a big Amarone and enjoy! Originally recorded October 2017. 

PLEASE NOTE: We do talk about the trans community a little and the historical language used to describe it, and how the characters in the book delineate between Buffalo Bill’s behavior and the behavior of transgender people. For more information please visit sites like the National Center for Transgender Equality and GLAAD.

TW: Cannibalism, serial killers, skinning humans, animal cruelty 

Correction Section: 

Roald Dahl did write the screenplay for both the fifth Bond film You Only Live Twice (1967) and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968), and Ian Fleming did write the original novels for both of those. However, Fleming did not adapt anything of Dahl’s for film like Katy thought. William Petersen (Grissom from CSI) does play Will Graham in Manhunter (1986), the film adaptation of Red Dragon. Carrie was right. (AS ALWAYS -C.O.)

Let’s-Get-Criminal! We watch season five, episode sixteen of Criminal Minds, “Mosley Lane” and wow... do we talk about things other than the episode. We play What’s-That-Actor-From-Again?, discuss some unfortunate dated hair choices from both ourselves and the actors, and really talk some shit about CSI: Miami for people who’ve never really watched it. Katy says “muffin buffalo” more than once because it’s fun, Carrie gives creepy kidnapping advice, Maddy reminds us of high school literature class, and Mack really explores his Admiral Akbar impression. Also, some of the time we can’t hear Carrie but you, the listener, can! It’s like she’s temporarily a ghost! OooooooOOOOoooooo! Originally (expertly) recorded September 2017.

TW: Suicide, death of children, kidnapping of children, cremating of children

Correction Section:

Katy meant Joan Crawford not Joan Collins.

Back to the British crime procedural! For our eighth episode we watched season two, episode four of Rosemary and Thyme, “The Invisible Worm.” We talk about the “vaguely sexual flower opening” of the opening titles and one of us gets very excited about Scarborough Fair. Katy pretends to know more about the British school system than she actually does, Carrie spends her first Joke Buck, Maddy loves Judi Dench, and Mack makes up fake sponsor ads. We also discuss plant genitalia and reproduction, have a Twin Peaks interlude, talk about our family nicknames and give advice to murderers. Maddy spills her beer and Mack owes us each $1! It’s a bonkers one! Originally recorded August 2017.

TW: Guns, suicide, assault

Correction Section:

Mack is not correct in his pronunciation of “unrequited.”

Join us for coffee and doughnuts as we discuss all 51,201 residents of Twin Peaks! We watch the pilot episode of this early 1990’s TV show and get into the small town gossip of the Pacific Northwest. Katy tries not to spoil anything from the series, Carrie and Maddy are both very tired, and Mack keeps trying to derail the conversation with doughnut history and hot men. We talk awkward crying, Buffy, the amazing amount of cheating spouses and are vaguely familiar with David Lynch. Listen to the very end to find out which one of us falls asleep! It’s a damn fine episode. Originally recorded August 2017.

TW: Suicide, grief, teenager death

Correction Section:

A confirmation, not correction: the song that Maddy and Carrie talk about around forty-five minutes in is “Sugar Water” by Cibo Matto, which was on Buffy season two episode one, “When She Was Bad.”

Grab your deerstalkers, fill up your pipe from your Persian slipper and let’s talk Holmes! We discuss the famous detective Sherlock Holmes, in particular the one portrayed by Robert Stephens in the 1970 film The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes. This episode is a bit longer partly because it’s the first time we talk about the character in general and partly because Katy is still learning how to succinctly summarize plots. We are enthusiastic about Victorian history if not experts on the subject. Katy shares behind-the-scenes Nessie prop stories, Carrie doesn’t think Holmes is funny, Maddy laughs at farts and Mack is a Christopher Lee fanboy. We talk real-life Loch Ness adventures, monks, chloroform, and attempt likely-offensive Russian accents with varying success. Originally recorded July 2017.

Please Note: There are a few instances we use an outdated and frankly derogatory term for a little person; this is the term used throughout the film itself and we slip up a few times when discussing this movie. We caught ourselves most but not all of the time. It was definitely not meant as derogatory or demeaning; however we understand that regardless of intent it was used carelessly and for that we apologize. Please visit The Little People of America website for more information and ways to support the community..

TW: derogatory and outdated term for little person

Correction Section:

The Baker Street Irregulars are a real thing that began in 1934 and is “[t]he literary society dedicated to the study of Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and the Victorian world.” However, they are very, very exclusive (only 692 have ever been one, as of June 2019) and Katy was thinking of what is known as their smaller factions or “scion societies.” They are very passionate and there are a lot of fascinating rules and traditions involved; for more info or to find a local club, visit their website by clicking here.

England and Wales technically decriminalized homosexuality between men in 1967 with an age of consent at twenty-one, but Scotland didn’t until 1980 and Northern Ireland in 1982. Homosexuality between women was never legally banned or criminalized by any legislation in the UK. For more information please see A Short History of LGBT Rights in the UK.

Christopher Lee and Ian Fleming did know each other but way before World War II and the SOE; Lee’s mother married Fleming’s uncle when Lee was young making them step-cousins.

Katy said Philip but she knows it was Albert who was married to Victoria. There are a lot of royals. Sometimes she slips up. She is sorry.

WHO was Rebecca? WHAT was her deal? WHY is everyone so obsessed with her and her underwear? We watch the first mystery that is brand new to all of us, Alfred Hitchcock’s Rebecca (1940), and (wo)man, do we have some opinions. As modern “woke”* people, we give the main character an actual name and talk about feminism, lesbianism, and the control of women and power dynamics of 1940’s Hollywood. Maddy wants to become a dick-punching time traveler, Katy gives some very unresearched and ultimately incorrect facts about Hitchcock and lesbians, Carrie does some live book research, and Mack talks great mustaches. Listen carefully for terrible horse impressions and Maddy’s constant anger noises! Originally recorded July 2017.

*We like to think we’re some level of “woke” but understand it’s a process and ultimately will make mistakes and hopefully learn and grow with each one

TW: Cancer, suicide

Correction Section:

Katy would like everyone to know that she knows she said Lawrence Olivier was in Lawrence of Arabia but she was thinking of Spartacus and it was just the double “Lawrence” that made her brain go “......”.

Also Hitchcock probably didn’t hate lesbians that way Katy insinuated; as stated in the episode she truly knows nothing really about him and was just making a generalized assumption based on Hollywood rules and the fact that she saw The Celluloid Closet one time

Get ready for our scariest episode so far—we watch the 1981 classic The Great Muppet Caper! The Muppets sing, dance, fall out of buses, and more while investigating a jewel heist in a movie Carrie subtitled: “Piggy and Kermit’s London Romance.” We talk about the nightmare that is an eight-foot Miss Piggy suit, drugs, latchkey VHS’s, and terrifying Muppet parentage. Katy talks up Admiral Lord Nelson, Carrie can’t stop seeing other movie locations, Maddy lays out the truth about Mr. Darcy’s lake dip, and Mack of course tries his hardest to keep us on track. Check out our Instagram for photos of terrifying robot insides, the puppets of the O’Brien home, and more. Wocka wocka wocka! Originally recorded June 2017.

TW: Minor assault

For our third episode we get c-c-c-cold in Fargo! (Seriously you will feel cold watching it there’s ice and snow all over). We watch the first episode of the first season of Fargo, “The Crocodile’s Dilemma,” which aired in 2014. Katy still can’t keep a synopsis short, Carrie and Maddy each individually coined the phrase “Agent of Chaos,” and Mack spends some more Joke Bucks. We talk difficult American accents, uncomfortable ham massages via the villainy of Rachel Ray, and Nicholas Cage speaks like a native Minnesotan. Plus we learn from our mother that not every movie with snow should be watched at Christmastime. Bundle up and let’s talk men’s haircuts! And murder investigations also, we guess. Originally recorded June 2017.

TW: Stabbing and bashing, abuse, blood