Who’s the best parent and who do the kids prefer? The panel consider competitive parenting (and how Anna’s dad used a starting pistol to train her for school sports day), a lost muff and what’s in a Puritan’s lunchbox. Plus: presenting a poorly dressed baby to Kylie Minogue, and why the dads all think they’re second-choice parent.

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How long a leash should you give your nippers? And how can you maintain your independence once you have kids? The panels consider the end of ‘pottering’ as a hobby, hiding from your family in the toilet, and tea-making as a childhood right of passage. 

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The girls consider kids and slime, the family ‘technology box’, and the lost art of speaking to strangers in bars, while the boys discuss the ‘midlife crisis blue tick’, being married to an Avatar or Smurf, and whether bullying was worse when it was punches in the playground or now, when it’s digital digs that run 24/7.

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The panels consider the benefits of separating with a smile and how divorce can be good, using Nintendo devices for reconciliation, and staying married because it’s easier than filling out all the forms. So if you had to split, what would be the reason? 

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How do you encourage tiny people to love their bodies? How do you remain fond of yours when it’s collapsing? Plus: why the increasing grotesqueness of Joe and Matt sickens midlife gun-pumper Noel, and whether body paint actually tastes better on toast.

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How to manage the tricky world of childhood friendships, fancying and falling out. And, perhaps more importantly, chumming up to other mums and dads because they happen to be nearby and might want a drink too.

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How do you explain the great hereafter to someone who can’t tie their own shoelaces? Why has Anna got a pet cemetery at the end of her family garden? And why should you avoid standing in front of a mirror next to your offspring? The series three opener begins with the big questions and how to answer (or avoid) them.

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It's the biggie: the end-of-season finale tackles the questions we all want to avoid - where do babies come from? What's this called? Why haven't I got one of those? The male and female panels give their take on educating small people, deflecting through ignorance, and the female equivalent of the word 'willie'.

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A one-off all-male quickie (not like that) with the dad panellists confessing what their other halves think of them airing the family laundry on air.

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Half the panellists are dyslexic, and no-one' s really sure how phonics works, so how should we educate our small people? The panels talk home v classroom and what really matters in educashun.

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