What if being more present with your kids didn’t require meditating for 30 minutes a day, becoming calmer, or learning to enjoy every moment of motherhood?
In this episode of Motherhood Uncut, Kate sits down with psychotherapist and longtime mindfulness practitioner Dia Ralyea for a conversation about what mindfulness actually looks like in the middle of real life, especially when you’re raising kids, managing a career, carrying a thousand responsibilities, and your nervous system would really rather keep moving.
Dia offers a beautifully simple definition of mindfulness: connecting to yourself so you can connect to the world around you.
From there, Kate and Dia explore why that connection can be so difficult for mothers. We’re taught to anticipate, plan, solve, accomplish and care for everyone around us. We’re much less practiced at slowing down long enough to notice what is actually happening inside of us.
And sometimes, we don’t want to notice.
Because being present doesn’t mean feeling peaceful. It might mean noticing anxiety before bedtime, admitting that you’re disappointed by parts of motherhood, recognizing that you have needs you’ve been ignoring, or allowing your child to be sad or frustrated without immediately trying to make the feeling disappear.
Kate and Dia talk about why discomfort isn’t necessarily a sign that something has gone wrong, and why learning to stay with the full range of human emotion may actually give us greater access to joy, connection and trust.
They also challenge the familiar question, Can women do it all? Maybe the goal isn’t doing everything. Maybe it’s becoming more connected to yourself so you can recognize what matters most right now, let some other things go, and move through different seasons of your life with greater intention.
And if mindfulness has always sounded like one more thing you should be doing, Dia makes it wonderfully practical. You can start on the floor with your kids. You can notice the weight of your child on your lap. You can put a hand on your chest and take one full breath. Thirty seconds counts.
In this conversation, Kate and Dia explore:
* Why mindfulness is much bigger than meditation
* How presence helps us see what is actually happening instead of reacting to what we fear is happening
* Why uncomfortable emotions can feel threatening to the nervous system
* The hidden cost of trying to keep our children from feeling disappointment, sadness or pain
* Why being present does not mean enjoying every part of motherhood
* What happens when mothers believe they shouldn’t have needs
* The difference between doing everything and living according to what matters most
* How perfectionism and constant striving can pull us away from ourselves
* Three simple ways to begin practicing mindfulness without adding another big task to your life
Dia Ralyea, MA, LPC, is a psychotherapist, Certified Mindfulness Instructor, mother of five and longtime mindfulness and yoga practitioner. She works with clients using a mindfulness-based approach and teaches mindfulness practices designed to help people reconnect with their own inner wisdom.
Learn more about Dia:
Dia Ralyea at Naropa University
Dia and Humanity Shared
Connect with Dia on LinkedIn