If feeding has been persistently, confusingly hard — and you've already done all the things — this episode is for you.

You've seen the consultants. You've tried the positions. You've adjusted the latch. Maybe you've even had a tongue-tie assessment, or a release, and feeding got a little better but not all the way there. And you're still sitting with that quiet, nagging feeling that something is being missed.

You're not imagining it. In this episode, Kaili offers a completely different lens for what might actually be going on — because in her experience, the feeding advice hasn't been wrong. It's just been answering the wrong question.

Here's what we explore:

The jaw and neck are where most feeding stories actually begin. When a baby is born, their body absorbs significant compression and force — and tension in the jaw, neck, and base of the skull can linger long after birth is over. That tension affects how wide a baby can open their mouth, how freely their jaw moves during feeds, and why certain feeding positions feel genuinely uncomfortable for them. (This is often why a baby feeds beautifully on one side and struggles on the other — it's not your anatomy. It's their neck.)

Tongue tie gets most of the attention when feeding is hard — and it matters when it's present. But the tongue is a muscle, and its function depends entirely on the structures around it. When the jaw and floor of the mouth are tight, the tongue gets held down by tension, not by a frenulum. And when the tongue can't cup and elevate the way it needs to, a whole cascade begins: weak seal, air intake, gas, reflux, inefficient milk transfer, a baby who tires quickly and is hungry again too fast — and a supply that starts to feel precarious.

Kaili also speaks to nipple pain. Sore, cracked, or bleeding nipples are not just "part of early motherhood." They're often a signal that something in the baby's oral mechanics isn't working the way it should — and that deserves to be investigated at the level of the body, not just the frenulum.

The good news? A body problem is something that can be worked with. When tension in the jaw and neck releases, the tongue gets its freedom back — and the whole cascade starts to reverse.

Resources mentioned:

🌿 Calm Baby Blueprint (free guide) — your starting point for understanding where your baby's body might be holding tension 👉 https://freebie.kailiets.com/calm-baby

🌿 Baby Bodywork at Home — the $47 self-study course where Kaili walks you through the hands-on techniques she uses in sessions, so you can start working with your baby's body at home 👉 https://courses.kailiets.com/baby-bodywork

Timestamps

00:00 — Welcome 
01:11 — When feeding is persistently, confusingly hard 
02:42 — Why surface-level fixes miss the root cause 
03:46 — Jaw and neck tension from birth 
05:55 — Tongue function beyond tongue tie 
08:00 — The reflux and supply cascade 
10:13 — What nipple pain is actually telling you 
11:29 — How releasing body tension changes everything 
12:45 — Resources and next steps 
13:30 — Closing: the right question to ask

If this episode resonated, please share it with a mama in your world who is white-knuckling every feed and being told her latch looks fine. She might need to hear this first.

Subscribe, leave a review, and tag Kaili on socials @theholisticbabyguru

Your baby can't say "my neck is tight" or "this position hurts" — but their body has been telling you anyway.

The arching during feeds. The one-sided head turn. The baby who will only settle if you hold them just right. These aren't quirks, and they're not things your baby will simply grow out of. They're communication. And in this episode, Kaili teaches you how to finally understand what your baby has been trying to say.

In her clinic in Stoney Creek, Ontario, Kaili looks a baby's body within the first 30 seconds — before she says a word, before she suggests anything, before she even properly introduces herself. Not because she's magic, but because the body communicates. It always has been.

If you've ever felt like something was off with your baby but couldn't put it into words — this episode is for you.

In this episode, Kaili walks you through 5 body clues she looks for in every new baby:

• Head-turning preference — what a consistent side preference actually means (and why birth matters more than most people realize)
• Body symmetry — why one shoulder sitting higher, or one leg that doesn't move the same way, shows up as feeding struggles and sleep problems
• Feeding behaviour — the difference between a latch issue and something deeper going on in the body
• How they settle (or don't) — what it means when a baby can only calm in one exact position, and why this is a nervous system story, not a behaviour problem
• Overall tone — what floppy and stiff actually signal, and why the quiet, low-tone baby deserves just as much attention as the tense one

Kaili also talks about the shift that changes everything for the mamas she works with: moving from "what is wrong with my baby?" to "what is my baby trying to tell me?" — and how that single reframe opens the door to real answers.

You're not imagining it. Your instincts are almost certainly picking up on something real.

🎁 Free resource: Grab Kaili's Calm Baby Blueprint — a gentle starting point for reading your baby's body — at https://freebie.kailiets.com/calm-baby

📚 Ready to go deeper? Baby Body Work at Home teaches you the same gentle techniques Kaili uses in clinic, one step at a time --> https://courses.kailiets.com/baby-bodywork

📲 Find Kaili on Instagram @theholisticbabyguru

Timestamps:

• 00:00 — Welcome & intro
• 00:52 — Disclaimer
• 01:50 — Why body clues matter (and why no one teaches this)
• 02:20 — What Kaili notices in the first 30 seconds
• 04:19 — Clue 1: Head-turning preference & neck tension
• 05:28 — Clue 2: Body symmetry (shoulders, hips, arms)
• 06:34 — Clue 3: What happens during and after feeds
• 07:44 — Clue 4: Settling ability & nervous system regulation
• 08:44 — Clue 5: Overall tone — floppy vs. tight
• 09:58 — "I knew something was off but everyone said he was fine"
• 11:06 — The Calm Baby Blueprint (free guide) & Baby Body Work at Home
• 11:52 — Share this with a mama who needs it

You had a picture of what motherhood was going to feel like. Maybe it was vivid. Maybe it was just a warm, hopeful blur. And then your baby arrived — a whole person, with a whole nervous system and a whole set of needs that are entirely their own.

In this episode, Kaili sits down with you for an honest, no-pressure conversation about the gap — the space between the motherhood you imagined and the one you're actually living. If you've felt grief alongside the love, or quietly wondered whether you were built for this... this one is for you.

In This Episode:

• The picture you had before your baby arrived — and what it means when reality looks different
• Why grief and love can (and do) live side by side in early motherhood
• How we hold motherhood to a completely different standard than every other new beginning in our lives
• The thoughts most mamas never say out loud — missing your old life, wondering if you were built for this — and why they don't mean what you think they mean
• What Kaili has seen in 18 years of working with babies and children: why the most sensitive babies grow their mamas into something remarkable
• A personal check-in from Kaili this month — and the reminder we all need that progress doesn't always look the way we pictured it

Resources Mentioned: Feeding Without Fight — Kaili's complete bundle on understanding baby reflux and oral motor dysfunction, and why they're almost always connected. Two complete courses | $67 | Lifetime unlimited access → Click Here To Learn More

Connect with Kaili: Instagram: @theholisticbabyguru Tag Kaili when this episode resonates — she loves hearing from you.

If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, please subscribe, share it with a mama who needs it, and leave a review on your listening app of choice.

What does it actually feel like to run a sold-out mom and baby class series — not the highlight reel, but the real version?

In this episode, Kaili pulls back the curtain on her years of leading Babies at Play classes and shares the honest, behind-the-scenes truth that nobody told her before she started. From the beautiful exhaustion of holding space for an entire room of mamas and babies at once, to the butterflies she still gets before every single class (yes, even after hundreds of them), this one is for the mamas who want to understand the person showing up for them — and for the pediatric and postnatal professionals who've been quietly wondering if running classes is something they could do too.

Kaili reflects on what made her transition from clinic-based OT to class leader so unexpectedly meaningful, why forgetting the words to a song she's sung a hundred times doesn't faze her anymore, and the profound privilege of being trusted with the most sacred and vulnerable moments of a new mother's journey.

If you've ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes of the work — this is the episode.

In this episode:

• Why running a group class asks something completely different of you than one-on-one clinical work
• The thing Kaili didn't expect when she started — and still surprises her every time
• Why she still gets butterflies before every class (and why she's grateful for them)
• What she would tell herself before running her very first class
• The privilege of watching babies and mamas grow — and why it never gets old
• A message for therapists and postnatal professionals who are sitting on the idea of running their own classes

Resources mentioned:

• 🎓 Babies at Play Professional Course — how over 100 therapists have gone from curious to running their own sold-out classes
• 📖 Mothering From Within — Kaili's international bestselling book, full of evidence-informed, attachment-focused guidance on milestones, sleep, reflux, feeding, and more

Timestamps:

• 00:00 Welcome to the Podcast
• 00:52 Disclaimer & Intro
• 01:20 Why This Episode Is a Day Late
• 01:40 Pulling Back the Curtain
• 03:14 From Clinic OT to Class Leader
• 04:28 The Real Exhaustion of Holding the Room
• 05:48 The Butterflies That Never Go Away
• 07:29 The Privilege of Being Trusted
• 08:50 What I'd Tell Myself Before My First Class
• 10:32 A Resource for Professionals
• 11:04 Closing Message

The butterflies are worth it. The exhaustion is worth it. The privilege of watching babies and mamas bloom together — worth every single bit of it.

Have you ever left a professional appointment with your baby feeling like something was missed? Like you could see something was off — but no one else could?

In this episode, Kaili takes you inside her clinical eye and walks you through exactly what she's looking for in the first few minutes with any baby. The things that aren't on standard milestone charts. The things that don't get flagged at routine checkups. The things most professionals simply haven't been taught to look for.

From arousal state and body tension to head position, skin creases, facial symmetry, and movement patterns — Kaili shows you how all the "separate" things your baby is doing (the fussiness, the feeding struggles, the tummy time meltdowns, the sleep issues) are often one story happening in one body.

And she gives you a simple place to start noticing it yourself — right at home, starting today.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why arousal state is the very first thing Kaili assesses — and what it tells her before she's done anything
• The two tension patterns she sees most often in babies (extended and stiff vs. curled and clenched)
• What head-turning preference really means — and how it connects to feeding struggles on one side
• Why skin creases that stay red and raw are actually a sign of muscle tension, not just a moisture problem
• The face, the lips, and the eyes — and what subtle asymmetry is telling you about the rest of the body
• How movement patterns (tummy time, rolling, transitions) reveal how the nervous system is organizing the whole body
• A real-life example: a four-month-old with reflux, sleep issues, and tummy time struggles — and how Kaili reads it as one connected story
• Simple things you can start observing at home today

Resources mentioned:

• 🔗 [The Calm Baby Blueprint]— Free home assessment guide to help you spot signs of body tension
• 🔗 [Baby Body Work at Home Mini Course] — Gentle techniques you can do at home to ease tension and support feeding, reflux, and sleep
• Grab my book - Mothering From Within - on Amazon or your local online book retailer

Ep.68 | Why Your Baby Won't Settle (And It Has Nothing To Do With What You're Doing)

You've tried the routine. You've tried the swaddle. You've tried the white noise, the swing, the side-lying feed. And still — your baby is fussy, unsettled, or just working so hard to get through the day.

Before you blame yourself (or their "difficult personality") — there's something almost nobody is telling you to look at. And once you see it, everything starts to make sense.

In this episode, Kaili breaks down the nervous system piece that sits underneath so much of what gets labeled as colic, reflux, bad sleeping, difficult temperament — and why the real starting place is almost always the body, not the behaviour.

You'll learn:

• Why what happened during pregnancy and birth matters far more than most practitioners will ever tell you
• What primitive reflexes are, why they sometimes don't fully integrate, and how that shows up as feeding struggles, sleep resistance, and sensory overwhelm
• How body tension (which often starts in utero) can make everything from tummy time to lying flat feel genuinely uncomfortable for your baby
• What sensory processing actually looks like when a baby's nervous system is running at full volume
• The specific signs that point to a nervous system root cause — and why they're so often missed

This episode is for you if:

• Your baby had a long, fast, or interventive birth (forceps, vacuum, C-section)
• Feeding has been hard from the beginning — one-sided latch, clicking, gassiness, reflux
• Your baby arches, always turns one way, or seems tense to hold
• Sleep never feels truly settled, even when you've done everything "right"
• Your gut says something's off — but everyone keeps telling you they're fine

Your baby isn't giving you a hard time. They're having one. And there's almost always a reason — a physical, nervous system reason that has nothing to do with your parenting, your consistency, or your baby's character.

Free Resource Mentioned: 🎓 Red Flags & Root Causes Workshop (free, on-demand) — go deeper on exactly what to look for in your baby's body.

Want to keep going? DM Kaili ROOT on Instagram @theholisticbabyguru and she'll send you the free workshop link directly.

📖 Grab Kaili's book Mothering From Within 

Kaili Ets is a Pediatric Occupational Therapist, Certified Infant Craniosacral Therapist, and mama of two with 18 years of clinical experience. Nothing in this podcast constitutes medical advice — always consult your own healthcare provider.

Kaili Ets, mom of two and pediatric occupational therapist, shares a real-life look at what nervous system regulation actually looks like in early motherhood. It’s not about staying calm all the time—it’s about what you do when things feel hard.

She walks through a moment many parents will recognize: coming home after a full day to a house that feels overwhelming, plans that didn’t happen, and a nervous system that’s starting to unravel. Instead of pushing through, she notices it, names it, and chooses to step away for a restorative yoga class—creating space to reset before coming back to her family.

Using her Rooted in Regulation Map™—safety, embodiment, flow, and rhythm/predictability—Kaili shares simple, grounded ways to support both yourself and your child through hard moments. She explores what it looks like to lead with connection, to stay present without forcing calm, and to hold space during big emotions—even if that means quietly sitting nearby while your child moves through it.

You’ll also hear practical, doable tools for regulation, including rest, movement, talking things through, writing, physiological sighs, humming, vibration, and even moments of playfulness.

This episode is a gentle reminder that regulation isn’t about getting it “right”—it’s about coming back, again and again.

Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome to the Podcast
01:20 Hard Day Regulation
02:25 Sunday Chaos Story
03:52 Yoga Reset Moment
04:47 Rooted Regulation Map
06:42 Regulating With Kids
07:45 Holding Meltdown Space
10:23 Connection Over Control
12:08 Realistic Regulation Tools
14:27 Practice Coming Back
15:32 Messy Enough

Resources & Next Steps:

• Free On-Demand Training: Rooted in Regulation

• Holistic Baby Flow Method

• Book: Mothering From Within

• Connect with Kaili
 Instagram
Website

Kaili Ets introduces the Mothering From Within podcast and explores something many parents don’t hear enough—you need safety too. In the early years, parenting doesn’t just shape your baby’s nervous system, it deeply impacts your own sense of calm, confidence, and trust in yourself.

She explains how, as you begin to feel safer and more regulated, your baby often starts to settle too—not because you’re doing everything perfectly, but because you’re showing up in a steadier, more connected way.

Kaili walks through gentle, real-life signs that your nervous system is shifting: less late-night Googling, less second-guessing, calmer decision-making, a softer tone, slower movements, more patience, and even moments of enjoying your baby… right in the middle of the hard.

She invites you to reflect on what would feel supportive for you, reminds you that needing help is not a failure, and shares simple ways to begin building that sense of safety—for both you and your baby.

This episode also includes a brief medical disclaimer and resources for deeper support, including a free on-demand training, her Holistic Baby Flow Method, and her book Mothering From Within.

Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome to the Podcast
01:11 Safety for Parents Too
02:52 Signs of Nervous System Shift
04:08 Slowing Down in Sessions
04:47 Co-Regulation Over Perfection
06:22 A Question for You
07:20 Support and Next Steps
08:17 Final Wrap and Book

Resources & Next Steps:

• Free On-Demand Training: Rooted in Regulation

• Holistic Baby Flow Method 

• Book: Mothering From Within

• Connect with Kaili
 Instagram: @TheHolisticBabyGuru
Website: www.kailiets.com

If your baby only sleeps on you…
wakes the second you put them down…
arches, pulls off during feeds…
or just feels tense, uncomfortable, or hard to settle…

This episode is for you. 💜

Because what if this isn’t about bad habits…
or something you’re doing wrong?

In this episode, I’m walking you through the missing piece I see over and over again in my work as a pediatric occupational therapist—

Your baby’s nervous system.

More specifically… their ability to access that calm, settled “brake” state.

Because when babies can’t fully access that state yet, their bodies stay a little more alert… a little more braced… a little more “on.”

And that can show up as:

•  Frequent waking 
•  Contact-only sleep 
•  Tense or uncoordinated feeding 
•  Arching, pulling off, or fussiness 
•  Gas, reflux, or digestive discomfort 

We’ll talk about why this happens (including body tension, birth forces, sensory overwhelm, reflex integration, and more)…

And most importantly—what actually helps.

Because your baby doesn’t need more training.

They need more support.

Inside this episode, I also walk you through:

•  What co-regulation really looks like (and why your baby needs you) 
•  The “roots” that support better sleep and feeding: safety, body comfort, and rhythm 
•  Simple, practical ways to help your baby feel safer in their body 

This is the shift from trying to “fix” your baby…
 to finally understanding them.

And once you see it—you can’t unsee it. 💜

🎧 In This Episode

00:00 Welcome to the Podcast
01:11 The Missing Piece in Sleep & Feeding
01:50 Why It’s Not a Bad Habit
02:41 A Personal Story & Nervous System Insight
03:44 The Body’s “Brake” Explained
06:22 Why Your Baby Needs You to Settle
08:01 Co-Regulation & The Roots of Change
09:26 Feeding Through a Nervous System Lens
10:57 Why Sleep Needs Safety First
11:26 Simple Safety Signals You Can Use
13:30 When to Look a Little Deeper
14:57 Wrap Up & Next Steps

🌿 Resources & Next Steps

If this episode resonated with you and you’re starting to see your baby in a new way…

✨ Watch the free on-demand training:
Learn how sleep, feeding, and tension are all connected—and what you can do to support your baby gently.

✨ Explore the Holistic Baby Flow Method:
A step-by-step approach to supporting your baby’s nervous system, body, and development—without sleep training.

✨ Read Mothering From Within:
A gentle, grounded guide to helping you trust your instincts and feel more confident in your motherhood.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. 💜

How do you know if something is actually helping your baby…
or if they’ve just gone quiet?

In this episode of Mothering From Within, Kaili walks you through one of the most important (and often misunderstood) parts of baby development:

👉 the difference between a baby who is truly settled
and a baby who is simply quiet from overwhelm or exhaustion

Because those two things can look very similar on the outside…
but feel very different in your baby’s body.

Drawing from her work as a pediatric occupational therapist and craniosacral therapist, Kaili shares the subtle nervous system cues she looks for during sessions — the small shifts that tell her when a baby is beginning to feel safer and more comfortable in their body.

You’ll learn how to recognize signs like:

• hands softening instead of staying clenched
 • a relaxed jaw
 • slower, deeper breathing
 • more even, organized movement
 • feeding that feels less frantic
 • transitions (like diaper changes or bedtime) becoming just a little easier

She also explains the important difference between:

✨ True regulation (soft, flexible, available)
vs.
⚠️ Shutdown or collapse (heavy, still, disconnected)

This episode will help you:

• understand what “progress” actually looks like in your baby
 • feel more confident knowing when something is helping
 • start trusting your instincts as you read your baby’s cues

Kaili also shares a simple “3-point check” you can try tonight — looking at your baby’s hands, jaw, and breath — to begin noticing these changes in real time.

Because often, the biggest shifts don’t happen loudly.

They happen quietly…
 like a small exhale in your baby’s body.

💜

In This Episode

00:00 Welcome to the Podcast
01:09 Settled vs Quiet — Why It Matters
02:59 Reading Your Baby’s Nervous System
03:39 Quiet Doesn’t Always Mean Regulated
04:24 Signs Something Has “Landed”
05:35 Why Progress Often Looks Subtle
06:02 Calm vs Shutdown
06:32 Everyday Moments You’ll Start Noticing
07:00 Try This Simple Check Tonight
07:27 Reflection + Free Guide
08:06 Closing

Resources Mentioned

Free Calm Baby Blueprint Guide
A gentle, practical guide to help you start recognizing your baby’s body cues and understanding what they may be communicating.

💡 This episode is especially for you if:

• you’ve ever wondered “is this actually helping?”
 • your baby seems calm sometimes but still unsettled underneath
 • you want to understand your baby beyond just sleep or behavior

Disclaimer: This is general education, not medical advice; check with your own providers.