Mothering From Within

You know me for babies and toddlers. That's not changing. But before the baby years, I spent my early OT career working with kids ages 3 and up... and lately, I've been pulled right back there. In this episode, I'm finally sharing why, and the brand new resource I've been building behind the scenes because of it.

It started with my own son. His vision is perfect, like actually perfect. But his eyes aren't teaming together well, and his brain is working overtime just to make sense of what he's looking at. That discovery pulled me straight back into the world of primitive reflexes... those automatic movement patterns your child was wired with before birth that are supposed to fade as the nervous system matures. Sometimes traces of them stick around. And when they do, they can show up as fidgeting, big emotions, slouching, clumsiness, trouble focusing... all the things that get blamed on personality or effort.

If you've got a kid who feels tight, who struggles to focus, who seems to be working so much harder than they should have to for things that should feel easy... this episode is for you, mama.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

→ What primitive reflexes actually are (startling at a loud noise, rooting, gripping your finger... none of it is learned, it's survival wiring) and what reflex integration means

→ Why lingering reflexes don't mean something is wrong with your child... they're information about how their nervous system is organizing movement

→ The specific reflexes and what they can look like in real life:

• Moro (startle) reflex → overreacting to sudden sounds, struggling with transitions, feeling anxious or on edge in situations that shouldn't feel like a big deal
• ATNR → trouble crossing the midline, hard time with handwriting, eyes that struggle to track smoothly across the page when reading
• STNR → slouching at the desk no matter how many reminders, W-sitting, upper and lower body that seem uncoordinated
• TLR and Landau → carsickness, unsteadiness on uneven ground, always looking a little wobbly compared to peers
• Spinal galant → the kid who cannot sit still to save their life, who fidgets constantly, who needs to wiggle just to stay regulated (not because they're not trying)

→ The vision connection: how perfect eyesight and poor eye teaming can create internal stress and overwhelm... and the new collaboration with a neurobehavioral optometrist that lit this whole project on fire

→ My own story with Kristjan: the unplanned C-section, the rough feeding start, and the question I kept asking as both his mom and his OT... "What's happening underneath all of this?"

→ Why foundational calming work (fear paralysis and Moro) always comes before targeted reflex-specific work... we wouldn't build a house starting with the roof

→ The sneak peek: the Primitive Reflex Play Pack, built for ages 3 to 16, born from wanting something playful to use with my own son in a real living room (both my kids now ask for the spinner board at bedtime!)

The Big Takeaway

That fidgeting, that anxiety, that clumsiness, that slouching... it's not a personality trait your child is stuck with, and it's not about trying harder. It can be a nervous system still holding on to early protective patterns. And the way through isn't more reminders or more discipline. It's play that happens to be doing something underneath.

Resources Mentioned

✨ The Primitive Reflex Play Pack ... Playful, movement-based reflex integration for kids ages 3 to 16. Built the way I actually use it with my own kids at home. This is the first piece of something bigger, and I'll walk you through exactly what's inside in an upcoming episode. Click here

💜 Mothering From Within (The Book) ... Like a good friend, therapist, and mentor in one. Evidence-informed, attachment-focused guidance on milestones, baby sleep, reflux, feeding, mama mental health, and so much more. Click here

Let's Connect

Did any of those reflex descriptions sound like your kid? I'd love to hear which one made you go "wait... that's him." Come find me on Instagram [@TheHolisticBabyGuru] and tell me. And if this episode connected some dots for you, a rating and review helps more mamas find this show.

Warm hugs, Kaili 💜

Before you had a baby, you were regulating your own nervous system all day long... and you didn't even know that's what you were doing.

Coffee with a friend. A walk after dinner. Music in the car with the windows down. A hot shower with the door locked. None of it was really about the coffee or the nails or the book. It was regulation. Little resets, all day long, that you never had to name because your life had space for them.

And then baby came. And those resets quietly disappeared, one at a time, until one day you looked up and couldn't remember the last time you felt like yourself.

In this episode, I'm naming the thing nobody pointed at when it left. If you've been wondering why this season feels so heavy even though you love your baby so much, this one is for you, mama. You're not doing it wrong. Something real disappeared. Let's talk about it.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

→ Why all those little pre-baby moments (the workout, the nails, sitting in your car in the driveway) were actually your nervous system coming down off high alert... over and over, all day long

→ How those resets vanish after baby arrives: the coffee date that becomes a text you mean to answer for 3 days, the shower where you're rinsing your hair faster than you've ever rinsed anything in your life

→ The part that doesn't get said enough: you didn't just lose your resets. You're also being bombarded with MORE sensory input than ever... touched out, holding every nap, carrying the mental load for the whole house

→ Why "I love him so much, but by 6pm I can't have one more person touch me" is not a confession. It's a nervous system that's been asked to absorb everything with none of its old exits

→ The invisible layers stacking underneath it all: sleep deprivation, low iron stores (a big one I see, especially in breastfeeding mamas or after a rough birth), and hormones that are still settling for months

→ The difference between losing your resilience and losing your inputs... and why only one of those is what's actually happening to you

→ The 60-second reset I do at the start of every Babies at Play class, and how to use it standing at the counter while the bottle warms up

→ How regulation goes both ways: when your baby's nervous system is more organized, they need less from you... and you get some of your own nervous system back

The Big Takeaway

You didn't lose your resilience. You lost your inputs. Your nervous system stopped getting the resets it used to get, right at the exact moment it needed them most. So this week, do one thing. Find your 60 seconds. Breathe, stretch wherever you're holding it, re-center. Do it before you think you have time for it... because you'll always feel like you don't.

Resources Mentioned

✨ Baby Bodywork at Home (Mini Course) ... The same home routine I give my one-to-one families in clinic. Not one more thing on your list... a way to lighten the load you're already carrying. Because a more regulated baby is a mama who gets her evenings back. https://courses.kailiets.com/baby-bodywork

💜 Mothering From Within (The Book) ... Like a good friend, therapist, and mentor in one. Evidence-informed, attachment-focused guidance on milestones, baby sleep, reflux, feeding, mama mental health, and so much more. https://www.kailiets.com/book

Let's Connect

If this episode felt like someone finally named what you've been carrying, I'd love to hear from you. Come find me on Instagram [@TheHolisticBabyGuru] and tell me where you're going to fit your 60 seconds. And if this episode helped you exhale, a rating and review helps more mamas find this show.

Warm hugs, Kaili 💜

Kaili Ets — mom of two, pediatric occupational therapist, certified infant craniosacral therapist — shares the news she's been sitting on for 18 months: she's officially a pediatric osteopath. In this deeply personal episode, Kaili explains what osteopathy actually is (and how it differs from physio, massage, and chiro), traces the 9-year journey that led her here — from meeting her first osteopath in Toronto to finding her mentor Terra Nicolle in Stoney Creek — and opens up about a piece of the story she's never shared before: how completing this program became a way of honouring her late father, who always believed in this dream before she let herself believe in it. She also gets real about what she'll miss from the program, what's changing in her clinic starting now, and what's coming in the next episode.

In this episode:

• What osteopathy actually is, and how it's different from physio, massage, and chiro
• The 10-year backstory: from a craniosacral therapist in New York to finding her mentor in Stoney Creek
• The personal reason she finally said yes to this program — a tribute to her late father
• What finishing an 18-month program with a tight-knit cohort actually feels like
• How this credential changes what she can offer at her home clinic (and who it's covered for)
• The mindset shift this training required of her, and why patience was the hardest part
• A sneak peek at what's coming next episode

Timestamps:

• 00:00 — Podcast intro & welcome
• 00:50 — Disclaimer
• 01:05 — The big news: officially an osteopathic manual therapist
• 01:15 — What osteopathy actually is (and how it's different from physio, massage, and chiro)
• 03:05 — Where this dream started: New York, craniosacral therapy, and finding Leah in Toronto
• 05:05 — Meeting Terra Nicolle and finding this program
• 06:05 — The real reason she said yes now — a tribute to her dad
• 07:10 — 18 months, gone in a blink: the cohort, the goodbyes, the last lunch
• 09:00 — What she'll miss (including her own monthly bodywork)
• 09:30 — What actually changes now for her clinic and her clients
• 10:10 — The patience this training demanded of her, plus a new party trick
• 11:05 — Closing thoughts & a sneak peek at next episode
• 11:50 — Outro: subscribe, share, and review

Links & Resources

Come and see me in-person - book your first appointment here.

Free guide: Calm Baby Blueprint → freebie.kailiets.com/calm-baby 

Course: Baby Bodywork at Home ($37) → courses.kailiets.com/baby-bodywork 

📲 Follow Kaili on Instagram: @theholisticbabyguru

Please note: nothing shared in this podcast is medical advice. All content is for educational purposes only and does not replace your own healthcare provider.

Loved this episode? Subscribe to Mothering From Within, share it with a mama who needs it, and leave a review wherever you listen — it really helps the show grow.

Okay, listen... if bedtime, bath time, or getting shoes on in the morning feels like a nightly negotiation in your house, this episode is for you.

I'm joined by Dr. Kim Van Dusen, licensed marriage and family therapist, registered play therapist, and author of the brand new book Parenting Through Play. Dr. Kim has spent 25 years teaching parents a different response to meltdowns and defiance... one that doesn't involve bribes, punishments, or counting to three in a very strained voice.

We talk about why play is the language your child speaks before they can explain what they're feeling, why "play first" changes an entire household, and the small, 30-second playful moments that make bath time, bedtime, cleanup, and getting out the door so much easier. You're not imagining it... the fastest, most overwhelming hour of your day is also the one your child needs you most.

What We Cover

[3:00] The "choo-choo" story that changed everything Dr. Kim shares the moment she stopped bribing and threatening her own son at pickup and used play instead... and how fast he responded once she spoke his language.

[8:00] Inside Parenting Through Play Why Dr. Kim wrote the book she wished existed: modern, practical, and built on three evidence-based approaches (play therapy, solution-focused therapy, and positive behavior supports).

[11:00] "But I'm not a playful person" Dr. Kim debunks the biggest myth about the book... you don't need 30 minutes on the floor. Small, purposeful "play pockets" are enough.

[12:00] Where our resistance to play actually comes from A look at generational parenting patterns, and why so many of us have a gut reaction that play feels like "rewarding bad behavior."

[14:00] Flip the script: play first Why putting play before homework, chores, or your own to-do list leads to more cooperation, not less.

[18:00] Play isn't just for kids The mental health case for play at every age, and why our own nervous system regulation comes first.

[24:00] Bedtime battles and the biggest separation of the day Kaili and Dr. Kim connect the dots between play, connection, and why evenings are so hard for toddlers and preschoolers.

[26:00] Rethinking bath time Dr. Kim's first piece of advice: bath time doesn't have to happen at night. If it's raising stress instead of lowering it, move it.

[29:00] Playful bedtime routines that actually work Animal transformations, the "robot wind-up," a dragon that keeps watch at night, and the stuffed-animal trick for toddlers who keep waking up.

[32:00] Quick wins for the two hardest moments The toy factory countdown and freeze clean for cleanup battles, plus the volcano game and sensory stepping stones for getting out the door.

[36:00] Wellness winks Dr. Kim's 30-second, twice-a-day self check-in for regulating your own nervous system so you can show up for theirs.

[41:00] Rapid fire and where to find Dr. Kim Play-Doh or kinetic sand, this week's play trick, and the one thing every parent needs to hear.

Key Takeaways

• Play isn't a reward for good behavior... it's the thing that makes good behavior possible. Flip the order and see what happens.
• Bath time and bedtime don't have to happen back to back. If your routine is raising cortisol instead of lowering it, change the order.
• You don't need big blocks of time. A 30 second animal transformation or a "toy factory" countdown can shift the whole moment.
• Regulated parents raise regulated kids. A quick self check-in twice a day matters more than we think.
• Give yourself grace. Tomorrow is a new day, and your kids don't need a perfect parent... they need one who keeps showing up.

About Dr. Kim Van Dusen

Dr. Kim Van Dusen is a licensed marriage and family therapist, registered play therapist, mom of two, and host of The Parentologist Podcast. She's part of the Today Show parenting team and the author of Parenting Through Play, out now.

Resources and Links

• Book: Parenting Through Play by Dr. Kim Van Dusen, available wherever books are sold (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and independent bookstores)
• Website: theparentologist.com
• Podcast: The Parentologist Podcast (Apple, Spotify, and YouTube)
• Instagram: @theparentologist

Loved this episode? Subscribe to Mothering From Within for more nurturing insights, share it with a mama who needs it, and leave us a review wherever you listen. Tag me on socials @theholisticbabyguru... I'd love to hear which play trick you try first.

Have you ever noticed that your baby always ends up in the same position? Head turned the same way... one arm always up... or sleeping with their head tilted way back, chin up, like they're looking behind themselves?

You're not imagining it. And it's not just a quirk.

Your baby's body is always moving toward comfort and away from discomfort. So the position they gravitate to over and over is actually a window into where tension might be living in their little body. In this episode, I'm walking you through the most common sleep position patterns I see as a pediatric occupational therapist, what each one can suggest, and the one position that gets missed all the time... the head tilted back, neck extended position that can be a sign your baby is working harder than they should be to breathe.

A quick but important note: this episode is all about OBSERVING your baby, not repositioning them. Safe sleep rules don't change. Back to sleep, firm flat surface, no pillows, every single time.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

→ Why the position your baby gravitates to is information, not randomness (and what your own body does at the end of a long day that proves it)

→ The 4 most common position patterns and what each one can point to:

• The consistent head turn to one side (and how it connects to feeding, flat spots, and movement development)
• The C-shaped body curve
• The strong arch or extension preference (these babies get called "strong"... but that's not the whole story)
• Asymmetrical arms or legs

→ Why a baby who sleeps with their head tilted back, chin up, may be instinctively opening their airway... and why that position deserves real attention

→ A warm, simple explanation of infant airway anatomy and why babies are naturally more prone to airway narrowing

→ Where the tongue is supposed to rest during sleep, and the 2 big reasons a tongue ends up resting low (body tension vs. a true tongue tie... and why not every low tongue is a tie)

→ The signs that often travel together with a compromised airway: snoring, mouth breathing, restless or thrashing sleep, heavy sweating, waking unrefreshed, feeding difficulty

→ Exactly what to do if you're noticing these patterns: what to gently encourage during awake time, what NOT to try to fix, and when to seek a proper assessment that looks at airway, tongue function, and the body together

The Big Takeaway

Your baby's body is always communicating. The position they gravitate toward, the way they arrange themselves, even the way they tilt their head to breathe... it's all information. Not necessarily problems. Information. And once you know how to read it, you can support your baby in a way most parents never get the chance to.

Resources Mentioned

🌿 FREE GUIDE: 10 Baby Signs Dismissed as Normal ... The head turn preference and the sleep signs from this episode are both covered inside. It walks you through what to look for and when it's worth paying closer attention. 

--> https://freebie.kailiets.com/10-baby-signs-lm

✨ Baby Bodywork at Home (Mini Course) ... If you've noticed something and you want to start supporting your baby's body hands-on at home, this teaches you how. --> https://courses.kailiets.com/baby-bodywork

💜 Mothering From Within (The Book) ... Like a good friend, therapist, and mentor in one. Evidence-informed, attachment-focused guidance on milestones, baby sleep, reflux, feeding, mama mental health, and so much more. https://www.kailiets.com/book

Let's Connect

If this episode made you look at your baby a little differently, I'd love to hear about it. Come find me on Instagram [@TheHolisticBabyGuru] and share what you noticed. And if you loved this episode, it would mean the world if you left a rating and review... it helps more mamas find this show.

Warm hugs, Kaili 💜

It's 2am, roughly 11 years ago, in a small apartment in Park Slope. I am on a therapy ball, bouncing hard, because vigorous is the only setting that works. My son will only sleep on my body, and the second the bouncing stops, he wakes up...

Sound familiar?

In this episode, Kaili takes you back to that ball and teaches you what she wishes someone had taught her then... how to actually look at an unsettled baby instead of just surviving the night with them.

You're not imagining it if your baby feels harder to settle than the babies in the group chat. Kaili walks through why settling is a nervous system shift, not a discipline problem, why true self-regulation doesn't come online until age 3 or 4, and what it means to co-regulate instead of waiting for a baby to "self-soothe." She introduces the idea of the "55 baby," the baby who starts the day already partway up the arousal curve, and traces her own son's story, the C-section, the tummy time refusal, the reflux, the constant need for movement, back to one under-supported nervous system.

Then she gets practical: body tension, digestive discomfort, sensory overload, and retained primitive reflexes (including the Moro) as the most common physical reasons a baby won't settle, why the usual advice (add more rocking, more white noise, more motion) often just masks the signal instead of resolving it, and what to actually look at across the whole day, not just the hard evening stretch.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why settling is a shift from the sympathetic to the parasympathetic nervous system, and why a baby's brain isn't built to do that alone
• The real difference between self-soothing and self-settling, and why co-regulation comes first
• What a "55 baby" is, and how to recognize one
• The 4 physical patterns behind most settling struggles: body tension, digestive discomfort, sensory overload, and retained reflexes
• Why adding more input (more bouncing, more noise, more motion) sometimes works just enough to keep you trying, and never enough to fix it
• Practical ways to reduce sensory load and look at the whole day's patterns, not just the moment your baby won't settle

Timestamps:

00:00 – Welcome to Mothering From Within 

01:12 – The therapy ball at 2am 

03:08 – What settling actually asks of a baby's nervous system 

05:13 – Co-regulation: how babies borrow calm from you 

05:47 – Self-soothing vs. self-settling (they're not the same thing) 

07:20 – The "55 baby": her son's story 1

0:15 – The 4 most common physical causes behind settling struggles 

12:33 – Why the usual settling advice often falls short 

13:53 – Practical, body-based steps to try tonight 

15:05 – Baby Bodywork at Home 

15:39 – Her son, 10 years later 17:43 – If this is you tonight 

18:20 – Wrap up

Resources mentioned:

• Baby Bodywork at Home – $47 – the hands-on routine Kaili teaches her 1:1 families, now for your living room floor. If this episode resonated, this is your next step.
• Mothering From Within (the book) – for the fuller journey through baby sleep, reflux, feeding, and your own mental health as a mama.

You were told to rest for 6 weeks. Then you were "cleared." Back to normal.

Except your body doesn't feel back to normal... and nobody explained that a C-section is major abdominal surgery, that 7 layers of tissue were cut and sutured back together, or that the connective tissue in your abdomen takes the better part of a year to remodel. You went home 48 hours later with a newborn and a healing body and an impossible set of demands.

And then there's your baby. Who was on the other side of that same incision, in that same moment.

In this episode, I'm looking at C-section birth through my OT lens... both sides of it. For mama: what's actually happening with diastasis recti, why your core is a pressure system (not a strength problem), the energy conservation framework I use with clients recovering from surgery, and why 6 weeks is when you begin to rebuild, not when you're healed.

Then I'm flipping it completely and talking about your baby. Because the birth canal isn't just a passageway. The cardinal movements of labor are a precise vestibular and proprioceptive sequence, driven by primitive reflexes, that helps begin integrating those very same reflexes. It's a beautiful circular loop. And in a C-section birth (or a forceps or vacuum delivery), that loop doesn't complete... plus there's the traction of the extraction itself, which is its own layer.

If your baby arches, resists being curled in, startles hard when you tip them back for a diaper change, or feels tight through the neck and chest... this episode might be the first time someone connects it to the day they were born.

I want to be so clear: nothing here is about blame, and nothing here means your baby is damaged. That decision was right for that moment. This is about giving you a lens... and something to work with.

In This Episode

• Why a C-section is major abdominal surgery, not just a different kind of birth (7 layers, and what that actually means)
• Diastasis recti: what it is, why it matters so much more after a C-section, and why the separation itself isn't the problem
• Your core as a canister: diaphragm on top, pelvic floor on the bottom, deep abs as the walls... and what happens to pressure management when those walls are healing
• The OT energy conservation framework: how to think about your day as a budget when the demands are impossible
• Practical positioning, splinting, and compression tips (snug tank tops and high-waisted leggings should be the motherhood uniform)
• Why 6 weeks is "medically cleared for certain activities," not "healed"
• The 8 cardinal movements of labor, and why every single one is a vestibular activation event
• The feedback loop most parents have never heard of: reflexes drive the movements → movements provide vestibular and proprioceptive input → that input helps integrate the reflexes
• What it means when that loop doesn't complete
• The second layer nobody talks about: traction during extraction, and the tension patterns it can leave through the cervical spine and cranial base
• What all of this can look like in your baby: arching, tone dysregulation, retained Moro, feeding and oral motor difficulties, vestibular sensitivity, unsettled periods (AKA colic)
• Why I always ask about the birth story... and why it's clinical information, not a formality

Timestamps

• 00:00 – Welcome + my last batch week before the kids come home from camp
• 02:30 – Why this episode exists (and the Janelle Fontaine episode you should hear first)
• 03:15 – A C-section is major abdominal surgery: what actually happened to your body
• 04:30 – Diastasis recti and why it matters so much in C-section recovery
• 06:15 – Intra-abdominal pressure: your core is a canister, not a six-pack
• 07:45 – The OT piece nobody talks about: energy conservation and pacing
• 09:30 – Positioning, splinting, compression, scar mobilization
• 10:45 – The truth about the 6-week timeline
• 11:30 – Flipping it: your baby was on the other side of that same incision
• 12:30 – Proprioception and the head-to-toe squeeze of the birth canal
• 13:15 – The vestibular system: the master regulator of every other sense
• 15:15 – The 8 cardinal movements of labor and the reflex integration loop
• 17:45 – What it looks like when that loop doesn't complete
• 19:45 – The second layer: traction, forceps, vacuum, and cranial base tension
• 22:45 – Pulling it all together: what you might actually be seeing in your baby
• 25:15 – If you're feeling guilt or grief or anger right now, hear me
• 26:30 – What you can actually do about all of this

Key Takeaways

1. Your recovery has a timeline nobody told you about. 6 weeks is medical clearance, not healing. Tissue healing takes months. Connective tissue remodeling takes closer to a year. You're not behind... you were given the wrong map.
2. The birth canal isn't just a passageway. It's a precisely sequenced vestibular and proprioceptive experience that helps begin integrating your baby's primitive reflexes. When that sequence is bypassed, the nervous system is still looking for input it was designed to receive.
3. Your baby isn't being difficult. The tension, the arching, the sensitivity, the difficulty settling... that's a nervous system asking for something. Once you know what it's asking for, you can start giving it.

Resources Mentioned

• Ep.75 with Janelle Fontaine of Nurturing the Mother: The C-section recovery conversation for mamas... rest, compression, scar tissue management. The perfect companion to this episode. → Check that out here
• Baby Bodywork at Home course ($47): Gentle, practical techniques you can start using right now at home to support your baby's body. → Grab the course here
• Virtual consults: If you want the full picture of what's going on with your specific baby, connecting the dots between the birth story and what you're seeing now. I see families across Canada, the US, and internationally. → kailiets.com

Let's Connect

If this episode gave you language for something you've been sensing, share it with a C-section mama who needs it... and leave a review on your favorite listening app to help the show grow.

Tag me on socials @theholisticbabyguru and tell me what clicked for you.

Your baby went through something significant the day they were born. Your body did too. You're both still finding your way into ease, and you're doing it together. That's the whole point.

Warm hugs, Kaili 💜

Your baby brings their fists to their mouth constantly. They only settle when they're held a very specific way. They clasp their hands, mouth everything, root even when they're not hungry... and you've probably wondered what it all means (or been told not to worry about it).

Here's what I want you to know: none of it is random. All of it has a purpose.

In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on something I talk about with my clients all the time but have never made a full episode about... the midline. That invisible vertical line running down the centre of your baby's body is one of the most organizing, regulating things their developing nervous system can find. And once you understand it, you'll start seeing it everywhere. In your baby. In your big kids. Even in yourself.

We're connecting the dots between hands-to-mouth, sucking, clasping, that "only wants to be held facing in" phase... and what it means when your baby's search for their centre seems frantic or just out of reach. Plus, I'm sharing my favourite hold for calming a baby who's had enough (it's about as close to an instant reset as you can get).

Your baby is not being difficult. They're telling you exactly what their nervous system needs. Let's give you the language for it.

In This Episode

• What the midline actually is, and why finding it is so regulating for a developing nervous system
• How your baby's body develops from the centre out (and why the mouth becomes home base so early)
• Why hands-to-mouth, sucking, rooting, and clasping are all the same beautiful story
• The real reason some babies only settle held facing in, tucked against your chest
• What it can mean when a baby arches away from the midline, or can't quite get their hands to their mouth... and why that's useful information, not a problem with your baby
• How midline seeking shows up in toddlers, big kids, and yes, in you too (nail biting, collar chewing, ring twisting, swaying... sound familiar?)
• 4 practical ways to support your baby's midline seeking, starting today
• My favourite calming hold: midline + sucking + rhythm

Timestamps

• 02:30 – Why I've never talked about this before (and the mastermind moment that changed that)
• 03:30 – What the midline is, and why it matters so much
• 04:30 – How your baby's nervous system develops: center first, edges later
• 06:00 – What my level 3 baby class taught me about the midline in action
• 07:30 – The 4 main ways babies activate their midline
• 11:30 – When midline seeking becomes frantic or difficult... and what that's telling you
• 13:00 – This doesn't stop at babyhood: kids, adults, and the ways we all find our center
• 15:15 – 4 practical things you can do right now
• 17:00 – When it's time to go deeper

Resources Mentioned

• Baby Bodywork at Home course ($47): Learn practical, hands-on techniques to release what's in the way, so your baby's own system can find its way back to centre. Right from your living room. → Grab Your Spot Here
• Ep. 76 | The 10 Baby Signs: The perfect companion to this episode. Fist-to-mouth was sign number 1... now you know the why behind it. 
• Free Baby Signs Guide → Grab Your Copy Here

Let's Connect

If this episode helped you see your baby a little differently, share it with a mama friend who needs it, and leave a review on your favorite listening app... it truly helps the show grow.

Tag me on socials @theholisticbabyguru and tell me which midline behaviour you're suddenly seeing everywhere.

Warm hugs, Kaili 💜

10 Baby Signs Dismissed as Normal

If you've sat across from a doctor, a mother-in-law, or your mom group and heard some version of "it's fine, babies are like that, you're probably overthinking it"... this episode is for you.

Okay, listen. Not an emergency and nothing worth addressing are two completely different things. And both can be true about the exact same symptom.

In this episode I'm walking you through 3 of the 10 signs in real depth, the ones I see dismissed the most in my practice:

1. Red, irritated skin creases (neck folds, armpits, behind the knees) It's not always "just chubby folds." Persistent redness can be a tension issue too. When a baby holds tension through their neck, shoulders, or hips, those creases don't open and close the way they're supposed to. Worth a closer look if it's worse on one side, keeps coming back, or your baby seems uncomfortable when you clean it.

2. Head-turning preference "They just have a favorite side" is doing a lot of work it shouldn't be doing. A baby who consistently turns one way isn't forming a habit, they're working within a limitation. This one rarely stays contained to just the head. It can show up in flat spots, a feeding preference for one side, and tummy time frustration.

3. Reflux (or "colic") that just doesn't resolve Reflux is common. Common does not mean it doesn't deserve a real look. Medication manages stomach acid, it doesn't address what's causing the regurgitation in the first place. If symptoms haven't meaningfully shifted after a few weeks, or you've cycled through medications or formula changes... your gut is telling you something worth listening to.

I also name (but don't go deep on, they each get their own full breakdown in the guide):

• Shallow latch, chomping, lip blisters, clicking during feeds
• The curled, tense baby who fights diaper changes and sleeves
• The stiff, arching baby everyone calls "so strong"
• Flat head shape
• Motor milestones out of sequence (rolling one direction only, bum scooting instead of crawling)
• Inconsolable crying
• Sleep patterns that get waved off as normal when they're not, and vice versa

The thread through all of it: these aren't 10 separate problems. They're one story, told 10 different ways. A baby's system carrying more load than it needs to, showing up in a handful of places at once.

You've been noticing these things for a while now. You weren't imagining it. You just didn't have the language yet.

Grab the Free Guide

All 10 signs, in the same depth we covered here for the first 3: 10 Baby Signs Dismissed as Normal

Next Steps

If something in this episode named what's been going on with your baby:

• Local to Hamilton? Book an in-person session.
• Anywhere else in Canada or the world? Check out the Baby Bodywork at Home course, hands-on techniques you can start using today from your living room floor.

More From Kaili

My book, Mothering From Within, is available now --> https://www.kailiets.com/book

A gentle disclaimer: nothing on this podcast is medical advice. It's provided for educational purposes only and doesn't replace your own medical or healthcare provider.

If you had a C-section and left the hospital with a list of things you can't do and almost nothing about how to actually heal — this episode is for you.

Kaili sits down with Janelle Fontaine, a registered massage therapist, postpartum doula, and cesarean recovery specialist based in Vancouver. Janelle created the Caesarean Recovery Guide specifically because she kept meeting mamas who had no idea that a C-section is major abdominal surgery — or that real recovery can take one to two years.

The visible incision, she says, is just the tip of the iceberg. There's so much more happening beneath it.

In this conversation, Janelle and Kaili cover:

Why the typical hospital discharge guidance falls so short — and why mamas are often sent home with a list of restrictions but nothing that actually empowers them to heal.

What's actually happening in the body during a cesarean — including the layers of tissue, the different incision directions involved, and why pulling sensations, numbness above the scar, hip pain, and even shoulder pain can all trace back to that scar.

The recovery timeline nobody talks about — why the six-week mark is not the finish line, and why hearing "it takes one to two years" can actually feel like relief.

Janelle's four pillars of cesarean recovery:

• Rest — slowing down in the early weeks without guilt, and understanding what your body is actually doing
• Compression — snug, breathable support that helps manage inflammation and support your core as you heal
• Core connection — rebuilding that brain-body conversation, starting with conscious breath as early as a couple of hours post-op, and why pelvic floor physio is relevant even for C-section mamas
• Scar tissue mobilization — when to start (typically once the incision is fully closed, usually around 6–8 weeks), what to do before that, why infection resets the clock, and how this goes so far beyond just massaging the scar

Is it ever too late? Janelle shares why the answer is almost always no — and why mamas 10, 16, even 40 years post-cesarean are still finding meaningful change when they finally get support.

They also touch on matrescence — the identity transformation of becoming a mother — and why we need to give ourselves the same grace we'd give a brand-new employee still finding their footing.

Janelle's one thing she wishes every C-section mama was told at discharge: seek support. Know who to turn to — an RMT, a pelvic floor physio, a chiropractor, an osteopath — so that when something comes up, it doesn't feel so big and scary.

Find Janelle:

🌿 Website: nurturingthemother.ca
🌿 Instagram: @nurturingthemother
🌿 Caesarean Recovery Guide: available at nurturingthemother.ca
🌿 Caesarean Scars: Variations of Normal project — collecting real-life C-section scar photos to create a resource showing the full range of what normal healing actually looks like. Submit your photos via the link in Janelle's Instagram bio, or follow @ismyscarnormal 
🌿 Practitioner training: Janelle teaches healthcare professionals (RMTs, chiropractors, osteopaths, doulas, and more) how to support C-section mamas — in-person and virtual two-day courses available

Resources from Kaili:

🌿 Calm Baby Blueprint (free guide) — https://freebie.kailiets.com/calm-baby
🌿 Baby Bodywork At Home ($47 course) — https://courses.kailiets.com/baby-bodywork

Timestamps

00:00 — Welcome 
01:12 — Meet Janelle Fontaine 
02:43 — How she found her way to C-section recovery work 
05:51 — The massive gap in C-section care at discharge 
09:31 — A rabbit hole: big babies, birth weight guessing, and trust 
11:51 — What's actually happening in your body during a cesarean 
15:33 — Healing timeline and symptoms to pay attention to 
19:06 — The four pillars of recovery: rest, compression, core connection, scar mobility 
22:07 — Matrescence: the identity transformation of becoming a mother 
24:19 — What postpartum support could look like if society caught up 
25:11 — Pillar two: compression — snug, breathable, and purposeful 
27:07 — Pillar three: core connection from breath to pelvic floor physio 
29:21 — Pillar four: scar tissue mobilization — when, how, and the right mindset 32:21 — What happens when there's an infection, and why it resets the timeline 34:25 — Is it ever too late? (Spoiler: no) 
37:49 — Janelle's one thing every C-section mama deserves to know 
39:17 — Rapid fire + the case for postpartum doulas 
41:32 — Janelle's resources, the Caesarean Recovery Guide, and the Variations of Normal project

Know a mama who had a C-section and was sent home with almost no guidance? Send this to her. She deserves to know this exists.

Subscribe, leave a review, and tag Kaili on socials @theholisticbabyguru 💜