Mountain Mantras: Wellness and Life Lessons

In this thought-provoking episode, Kat delves into the complex topics of identity, ancestral trauma, and what it means to live a good life. The episode begins with Kat reflecting on a common sentiment, "I'm not sure who I am," setting the stage for a deeper exploration of self-identity. Kat offers three powerful mantras designed to help listeners navigate their personal journeys and challenges.

3 Mantras from the episode include:

1. "Most of us are more than one person
2. "We have to change ourselves. Our actual terrain, the vehicle that walks through the world."
3. "Life is a weighted average of the sum of all your minutes and the weight is based on the level of how amplified an emotion is."

The conversation turns philosophical as Kat poses the question, "What is a good life?" She suggests that life is a weighted average of all our moments, with the weight determined by the intensity of our emotions. Kat concludes with a powerful message on resilience and positivity, encouraging listeners to raise their contributory frequency, asserting that even those who have endured severe trauma can make a positive impact.

Tune in for a deep and enriching discussion that offers both practical advice and philosophical insights, helping you understand and navigate the complexities of identity and life's challenges.

They say that there is a planetary SHIFT going on. 

Sometimes that SHIFT feels like S*&T.

Como? (what?)

Homo? (what?)

Did I say “Homo Lumininous” in this podcast?

Yes I did. If you want to learn more about this shift, I enjoyed this video and would love to share it with you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJTtkYt3U2I

Here are the mantras from today’s show:

https://makeeverythingfun.com/five-ways-to-win-in-relationships/

I also mention “the Giving Tree” conundrum, and i invite you to listen to that episode, and check out the show notes here. 

Thank you for listening!

I had no idea that I’d break into tears during this podcast, but I did. The topic is love, after all.  And my heart is broken BIG TIME.

I am reviewing these notes on the morning of surgery to fix a deviated septum from middle school when my nose was severely broken.  My mom had looked at me with my Marsha-Brady-episode-where-her-nose-blew-up-to-3x-times-the-size-and-black-and-blue-eyes (that rhymes) and said, “You’re fine.” So today, I don’t breathe as well as would be optimal. I believe this is part of my loss of health story.  I’m finally getting it fixed.

It has been a HORRIBLE road to get to this morning. I drive around the streets of Evanston, recognizing the places where I was there for my husband when he needed surgery. When I dropped my life to “serve” him.  Now that my “service” doesn’t “serve” him, where is he? 

I’ve been a less-than-optimal-version-of-myself. I’m so sorry, to everyone, who has had to see any part of this journey. Per my ideas on apologies, I plan to make sure that I do better.  I’m on my way now to my dad’s house to give him a hug. I was not my best self when I saw him last.

My mom also has been offering help, and I hope to take her up on some help during my convalescence. 

In today’s episode, I call on Shakira to help me, again. She has been one of my important spiritual guides in my life.  I LOVE SHAKIRA. (Me encanta!).Sometimes it can put your own problems in perspective when you hear about those of others. Shakira has been through an insane year.  My broken heart goes out to hers.

Let’s start with this song by Shakira, Monotonía 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5y6xLpRwx4

OMG that is me!  I put my heart on a sleeve, and it got stepped on big time. Thrown on the street, broken. I have felt empty and lying on the floor like Shakira is shown.  

Then we go to Don’t You Worry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=me19SUmWu2s

I know it’s possible to cry all day and night until you fall asleep sitting up, but eventually, it DOES stop.  Your dogs or cats might be soaking wet with your tears and really pent up with energy because you haven’t left the house (and are really worrying the neighbors with whatever can come through the walls), but it does eventually stop.  At least for that day. 

Then you might find yourself crying the next day again, and it may also come in waves when you least expect it. But I have to say to myself, “everything’s gonna be okay.” Gracias Shakira.

Then we move to Waka Waka (This Time for Africa)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRpeEdMmmQ0

“When you fall get up, eh eh.” 

And I will start to meet my OWN NEEDs.

After all, what we need or want from others, we must be able to give to ourselves. Connection with others plays a role in everyone's lives in different ways for different reasons. It is difficult to sustain connections with others when we struggle to connect and meet our needs within ourselves. So…

I will see myself

I will hear myself

I will understand myself

I will fairly judge myself.

Maybe I need to take up dance lessons so that I can move like Shakira. RRRRR. And get back to my work at Nurture to help communities in need.

Mantras from the show:#1: Get to know love; we don’t understand it in our culture#2: Move past “conditional” vs. “unconditional” love and consider compassionate love.#3: Understand the many types of love the Greeks appreciated: Eros, Philia, Ludus, Agape, Pragma, Philatia. I realize that I hardly get into the types on my podcast, so just read about it here.Your homework, if you choose to accept:  go help someone in need!

If you are a woman, tune in to what might be happening to other women (or the feminine side of a man) today. 

There seems to be strong energy around conflict and the change of an old model that involved subjugating women. (Yep, I just wrote that– ask me about the times I’ve seen gross men pat waitresses’ asses and be total assholes.  I’ve been on the wrong side of that equation, ME TOO).

See the paradigm for change from episode 124. 

Two questions if you’re brave enough to consider change:- Can women and men start to do LESS of being the Perpetrator and Victim?

And move into Creator and Challenger?- Can we start to truly CO-CREATE the way I believe that God/Goddess/All that is intended?

Let’s finish with, What is Love (the SNL version with A Night at the Roxbury

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2h4PhgobI8

Thank you for watching.  I’m going to go pick up dog poop now. Hasta luego!

1. I am learning late in life how to express “bad” emotions like sadness and anger.  I sent this to my Dad before heading to surgery.  He is upset with me and my recent displays of anger (even though, I believe I have a lot to be sad and mad about– being lied to and deceived by your husband for nearly decades is a biggie).

PS– If you have not been following the podcast, the LIES I was told and believed were that I was a priority in my husband’s life.  He opened his mouth a gazillion times and said, “You are my #1.  You are a priority.”  He wrote those words many times. His actions didn’t match those words, which created a lot of dissonance in my nervous system.  Perhaps that is why I didn’t sleep and had insomnia for nearly two decades. 

And you know what?  Maybe I lied too.  Maybe when I said to him, “You’re doing a good job” I was certainly lying about his role as a husband. I didn’t do a good job listening to my inner voice telling me something was off. 

Ultimately, our lies only did a good job of hurting me. We created an enormous amount of dissonance and pent-up issues in my nervous system, which then created more problems. I’m trying to dig myself out in so many ways.

While my husband skis on the slopes and enjoys the beachfront condo I set up for him in Puerto Rico. PENDEJO.  

I’m off to drive myself to surgery.  I hired some help afterward.  Be well.

This is what I sent to Jeff after I expressed anger to him, which he could not handle.

In a text:

I’m sorryPlease forgive me

I love youThank you

Then he sent the cops on me.  Hopefully, with you, Dad, you will be understanding and confident in knowing that I DO love you and intend only the best for both you and me in sending this prayer to you.

I am strong and will survive.

Again, I love you.

I woke up this morning “on the wrong side of the bed.”  (It’s likely the divorce I’m going through). 

Sometimes I turn to music to help me process the emotions I’m feeling.  The word “emotion” comes from “emote,” which is about being in motion. I believe that feelings are meant to be felt, to be processed, which creates movement and allows them to move in and through our system.

What I want to avoid is getting feelings stuck.  Or repressing what is meant to be felt.

Since I’m on an inner journey to uncover repressed emotions and better understand myself, I’ll use whatever tools I find helpful. 

Even if that means singing off-tune (loudly) in public.  Are your ears ready?

In the spiritual growth world, we talk about the Negative words that are to be avoided. We say, “Don’t focus on what you DON’T want.” (Focus on what you DO want).

However, I believe that it is important to understand and feel the entire spectrum of emotions, from “bad” to good, to be able to appreciate the difference.

I mention a kids’ book about a little girl who loves pink, but after her world turns to ALL PINK ALL THE TIME, she stops appreciating pink the way she used to. It is an analogy for how we can’t expect to be happy all the time, or “happy” just doesn’t feel the same. 

For today’s show, I drive the mantras based on No, Never, and Not but also songs with messages. I look forward to your comments!

Midwest Mantra #1: Say “No” to a World that Makes You Sad.   Musical inspiration: Pop Life (Prince).  It sounds like Prince is asking us to say no to: -poverty -lack of generosity -not appreciating each other -jealousy -hierarchy -fake appearances -lack of access to healthcare and education -addiction -thirst -being boring 

Midwest Mantra #2: Never Be Out of Love.

Musical inspiration: All Out of Love (Air Supply). 

I spoke in episode 123 about creating good boundaries to help you manage the amount of pain you can handle in a single day, week, month, or year (or lifetime).

Sometimes, per Bob Newhart’s sketch on SNL, we need to just “Stop it!” 

Midwest Mantra #3: Not so much talking. Menos palabras?

Musical inspiration: Poor Unfortunate Souls (From Disney’s The Little Mermaid).  Bonus inspiration: Whip it (Devo)

What I believe we need is heartfelt listening and clear communication about our needs.  

Can we do that?

Shall we sing more?

Would you like to comment? What are YOUR needs (and do you communicate them?).

Thanks for listening. Kathryn

PS. I was enjoying Hint water during the recording. I highly recommend Kara Goldin’s book, Undaunted.

I’ve been on the move a lot. I've counted up all the times that I've moved in the past six months and I moved 14 TIMES!  How crazy is that?

Anyway, I just did this incredible exercise with my coach, Jessica. And she helped me to identify my values. And I would not have guessed what they were. 

My number one was purpose. I'm always the person that asks why. My second is opportunity and third is recognition. 

Here are the mantras:

• Nothing is as constant as change. My questions for you are:

Do you think that time is speeding up change? 

Can we make change fun? 

1. Change is growth. Change is good. 

• This mantra is actually a song: Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen. My question is:

What is your favorite lyric? Because there's so much in there about advice and things that you can take and digest, but I'm curious what resonates with you today in this moment?

Songs: 

Everyone’s Free to Wear Sunscreen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

Changes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BgF7Y3q-as 

Why have I been so grumpy?Why the under eye bags?

What is this about imposter syndrome?I’ve been crying. And dealing with some health challenges. Health challenges always suck, but they are especially hard when you’re supposed to be some kind of “wellness expert”. In this solo cast “short”, I’m going to be brave, and I hope that by listening/watching this episode, you too can be inspired to be a little more brave.These days I’m not just crying about my health issues. I’ve got some broken plates I’m dealing with (LINK TO EP 124) as well as coming to terms with my tree stump status (LINK 125).

As I type these show notes, I’m sitting in the waiting room of a dermatologist. I’m here for a biopsy that will help us to investigate a tricky little blood marker for autoimmune that came up positive for me. Why is my body attacking itself?  

I’m not going to get all BOO HOO here. In dealing with this “bad news”, I remembered a wonderful clip from SoulPancake that featured an extraordinary young man, Zach Sobiech. I hope SoulPancake won’t be mad that I took about 14 seconds of one of their clips for my podcast- hey, maybe I can help to promote it!

Zach was diagnosed with a terminal illness. When he received this information, he launched into an amazing period of creativity to share lessons about life.  One of my favorite songs by Zach is Clouds. 

I think about what Zach faced, and how he remained positive. 

What I’m dealing with pales in comparison.  I mean, just because I’ve got a bunch of doctors appointments and tests, does that give me the right to become Ms. Grumpy pants?No. I will talk about serious stuff on my podcast, but I will always endeavor to Make It Fun.

Here are the 3 mantras from today’s “Solo Cast Short”:

#1: Put yourself in each others shoes- ask the two questions I forgot to say out loud on Episode 125 (but I put them in the show notes).  Here they are: 

Question 1: Will the boy step into the tree’s shoes* (know and feel the giving of unconditional love)

Question 2: Will the tree step into the boy’s shoes** (know and feel the receiving of unconditional love)

#2: People change, all the time. There is nothing as constant as change.

When I work in my nonprofit Nurture, I tell kids during our “nutrition education classes” that they don’t have to try the broccoli if they don’t want to. But I remind them that their taste buds change all the time. I get a lot of success with this approach. What do you think?

#3: Every sentient being that you encounter is a potential spiritual guide. All you have to do is be ready and open!

I’m curious about your thoughts on my desire to go on a journey inward.  Did I pick the wrong season for this journey?

The song for today’s episode is The Safety Dance. I’ve put the lyrics below with two important lines highlighted. Any other lyrics you’d like to emphasize?

Sticky notes for future episodes:  - We’re gonna do an EP on Happiness.  Stay tuned!

- Glennon Doyle Melton’s, “it’s not a good idea to protect our kids from pain” concept. I was intrigued when I met her and saw her speak; she’s on to some great ideas.

In this episode, I I mention my Positive on Publishing interview with #1 NYT bestselling author and transformational leader, Marci Shimoff. She has this beautiful “recipe” for manifestation, as follows:IntentionAttentionNo tensionListen to the full interview with Marci here (LINK) (so good!). 

The Safety Dance Lyrics

We can dance if we want toWe can leave your friends behind'Cause your friends don't danceAnd if they don't danceWell, they're no friends of mine

Say, we can go where we want toA place where they will never find

And we can act like we comeFrom out of this worldLeave the real one far behind

And we can danceOr sing

We can go when we want toNight is young and so am IAnd we can dress real neatFrom our hats to our feetAnd surprise 'em with the victory cry

Say, we can act if we want toIf we don't, nobody willAnd you can act real rude and totally removedAnd I can act like an imbecile

And say, we can dance, we can danceEverything's out of controlWe can dance, we can danceThey're doing it from pole to pole

We can dance, we can danceEverybody look at your handsWe can dance, we can dance

Everybody's taking the chance

Safety dance

We can dance if we want toWe've got all your life and mineAs long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it

Everything'll work out right

I say, we can dance if we want toWe can leave your friends behindBecause your friends don't danceAnd if they don't danceWell, they're no friends of mine

Well, it's the safety dance

It's the safety dance

Well, it's the safety dance

Well, it's the safety dance

Oh, it's the safety dance

Oh, it's the safety dance

Everybody's taking the chance