Family matters conference, Durban, South Africa, March 2015
4 shapes: choose one – don’t rationalize, just choose (Psychological basis and explanation)
Circle, Square, Triangle, The letter ‘Z’ – Character Analysis
Circle – a person who loves change and improvements and are leaders. Easy minded
Square – good with numbers and angles. Most accountants, audits and managers
Triangle – people who are willing to make it to the top no matter what.
Z – Motto in life is “I’ll do it my way” – or the highway
No choice – Afraid
Ibn Al Qayyim – A person who doesn’t know him/herself does not really know Allah.
If you don’t know yourself well you don’t have a good relationship with Allah.
Carpenters use wood, Blacksmiths use iron, Doctors study human beings. One wouldn’t visit a carpenter who didn’t know much about the trade. One needs to have a good understanding and knowledge of their raw material to be good at their jobs.
What is the Human beings’ raw material? Your raw material is yourSELF. Use this self to attain Jannah. Allah has entrusted this self to you to create mastery of yourself and offer it to Allah on day of judgement.
What do you know about your material? We know about the people around us more than we know ourselves. What a pity to live through life when the person you know the least (yourself) is the one you spend most time with. This is because our eyes face outward; the hardest place to look into is one’s self. Many people scared to find out who they are – they can’t even be alone – can’t live or spend time with yourself.
Ibn Taymiyyah was asked – I wake up at night I don’t know what to do – I can either pray, read Quran or do random dhikr.
He replied – general answer is: ideally praying at night is the best of these three (praying, reciting Quran and dhikr all in one)
Then read Quran then dhikr
BUT if you are naturally motivated about reading Quran then it would be better for you than praying at night. Or if you find your heart more in dhikr than the other two then that is best.
This is based on self-knowledge.
Allah wants us different and wants our worship and way to Him to be different - the path is one but the lanes are many.
Allah says in the Quran – the ones who strive for our sake we will guide him to our ‘WAYS’
We are all different and we need to recognize our own raw materials. Don’t try to mimic your favorite Shaykh you might be setting yourself up for the Fire.
This can be seen with those who are so dedicated and the suddenly flip and gave up Islam, as they were walking around in borrowed clothes because you didn’t follow your own way.
‘Each one will be facilitated and will find his way easy into what he was created for’ trying to follow someone else’s way is being ungrateful. Allah is wise and purposeful, embrace yourself. Everything is designed for a purpose. Nothing is random. Allah has purposefully designed you in a way so use these ingredients and make something worthwhile.
Your way to Allah is to do what you love. It doesn’t have to be something hard or that drains you – I shouldn’t be a suffering. The purpose for which you were created is something that you will love doing. Your passion and drive will go toward doing that specific thing.
Khalid Ibn Waleed- How many hadith did he narrate – some say only 3 were narrated from Khalid Ibn Waleed. What is the reason – busy in fighting for the sake of Allah, he was designed for battle and for jihad and military strategist. He realized this was his track to Jannah – higher level in Jannah than becoming a scholar.
Our relationship with Allah is like business. We should strive for good return on investment – we can only do this if we know ourselves and then capitalize on our strengths.
In Contrast – Abu Hurayrah never stood out in battle because he realized his strength was in learning and narrating ahadith from Rasul (saw). The companions of Rasul (saw) understood themselves well and therefore made masterpieces of themselves.
Knowing oneself is a sweet journey – don’t live someone else’s life. Your life is tailored specifically for you by Allah!!!! Do not shun the gift Allah has given you. If you have gifted someone with a perfume and they gave it away, you would not feel good. So why do it to Allah.
