Not that anybody asked but this week we pulled down the blinds and lit a cigarette we didn't even want because we're figuring out our Top 3 Movie Characters We Would Noir. Inspired by the release of Spider-Noir, we're asking which characters deserve to be drenched in shadows, saddled with a dark past and given a voiceover nobody asked them to do. Which beloved heroes would crumble beautifully under the weight of a corrupted city? Which characters would thrive in a world where nothing is simple and everyone has an angle? And which characters would it be just plain funny to see brood? What will make our final Top 3 list this week? Expect fly induced technical issues, being unable to say the episode title and a slug tug.

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