Movie Marks

Do you like your movie heroes vindictive, sadistic, and barely heroic at all? Well the Movie Marks have just the hero for you. His name is Soldier. Or maybe it's Kelly. Or maybe it's Snake Eater. Regardless, he's a cop. Or maybe he's a private investigator. Or maybe he's neither. Regardless, he's a terrible protagonist. And Bam Bam Bigelow is in this movie too. Join us for Snake Eater 3... His Law.

Take one look at the poster for this week's movie and you would think it's your standard, run of the mill crime thriller. Well, the Movie Marks are here to tell you that the poster is a lie. This movie is easily one of the most insane and bizarre films we've covered to date. There's a lot of untaxed cigarettes and even more pickles. So many pickles. Let's head down to Brooklyn, Louisiana with some really great actors cashing checks and hanging out with Hunter.

The Marks finally check out a film starring a legendary luchador. No, it's not El Santo or Blue Demon. Instead it's the legendary member of the Dark Carnival, Vampiro. (WHOOP! WHOOP!) This movie has something for everyone. Weird ewok robots, guns that shoot giant flies, mannequins, and a completely absent hero. So spend some time with us as we fail to even remotely explain what happens in this movie.

What happens when a Hollywood bad boy lives life so close to the edge that he finally falls? Well the only thing that happens in the world of faith-based cinema is that he's forced to join his hometown church's stage production about the life of Jesus. During this journey, he learns that there are things more important than fame and debauchery like friendship and faith. Also Shawn Michaels is in this film playing a character simply named Doug. Yup. Doug. It's The Resurrection of Gavin Stone on the Movie Marks.

On this week's episode of the Movie Marks, we take a leisurely trip down the River of Darkness with YOUR olympic hero Kurt Angle. It's got a few vengeful ghosts and lots of gripping small-town political drama. Along the way we'll visit friends like Big Sexy Kevin Nash, Psycho Sid, and Glacier!

Before he was Fast or Furious, before he was a Trainwreck, John Cena was just a man trying to readjust to civilian life. The only thing standing in his way is the T-1000 and a whole lot of walking. Let's explore the film that would launch a career as well as a neverending WWE Films franchise. (Full disclosure: this episode was recorded prior to a major production upgrade for the Movie Marks. Don't judge us. We feel you judging us.)

Fresh from the oven and directly to your ear holes the Movie Marks present Army of the Dead. Zack Snyder revisits the genre that got him to the show with a zombie movie that mixes in a little Ocean's Eleven and a whole lot of WTF. Snyder won’t be walking alone on this one because Dave Bautista is along for this very long walk through Las Vegas that features the occasional zombie, the occasional tiger, and the occasional time loop subplot. Seriously? We're the Movie Marks and we'll be your guides through Army of the Dead.

This week we take a look at the WWE Studios film The Main Event. If you like hearing people refer to wrestlers as "superstars" and fans as "the universe," have we got the movie for you. This movie takes place in a bizarre alternate reality where normal people use all of your favorite Vince/WWE buzzwords. Young Leo Thompson dreams of being a WWE superstar (not wrestler) and he finds a magical mask that gives him all the abilities he needs to achieve his dreams. So get ready to watch a middle-schooler embarrass your favorite wrestlers from NXT like Keith Lee and Babatunde. There's plenty of WWE talent in this movie and literally all of them are under used. So it's really not any different from watching an episode of Raw.

The year is 2026 and we have found a way to open a portal between Nevada and Mars. What for? It doesn't really matter. What does matter is that we have the first appearance by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson on the latest episode of the Movie Marks. Get ready for a thrilling, 10-minute tribute to the namesake video game wrapped in 100+ minutes of confusing nonsense. We promise our episode will be shorter and less painful. You're welcome.