Mr. Nice Guy & the Broken Wife | Navigating Love and Intimacy After Past Abuse

There was a time in my life when I genuinely believed God was disgusted by me. That I had done something so terrible, I was no longer worthy of His love.

And that belief changed everything about how I lived my life.

What I didn't realize then was just how deeply my experiences in an abusive relationship had shaped my understanding of love, worthiness, and even God Himself.

In this deeply personal episode, I'm sharing how my journey of healing from abuse completely transformed my relationship with God, the surprising connection between healthy relationships and understanding His love, and what I've come to learn about the kind of love He wants us to experience.

It's a conversation about healing, faith, and learning to see God's love—and ourselves—through an entirely different lens.

What if God isn’t asking you to do more?

Lately, I’ve felt Heavenly Father inviting me to “relax into His hand”, and I’ll be the first to admit that that idea has challenged me. It goes against so much of what I’ve learned about hard work, discipline, success, and even what it means to follow a prompting.

In this episode, I’m sharing a personal shift in how I’m approaching my business, this podcast, and my relationship with God. It’s changing what success looks like for me, why I do this work, and what you may see from this podcast moving forward.

If you’ve ever felt the pressure to do more, achieve more, or prove yourself, you may find some nuggets in this episode.

For years, I’ve talked about the principles that helped me heal after abuse and transform my marriage—differentiation, boundaries, agency, self-confrontation, forgiveness, healthy sexuality, and more.

But I’ve been leaving out a significant part of that story: Jesus Christ.

In this episode, I’m sharing why I’ve intentionally kept faith out of many of these conversations, why that no longer feels honest, and what will be changing on Mr. Nice Guy and the Broken Wife moving forward.

I also share how my faith gave me hope when I was told I may have healed as much as I could from sexual trauma, and why I see Christ’s example reflected in so many of the principles of healthy relationships I already teach.

We’ll talk about agency, boundaries, differentiation, unconditional love, and the stark difference between Christlike love and the coercion and control found in abuse.

I’m not throwing out what we’ve been learning together. I’m giving you the fuller picture of what has helped me heal, change, and build the marriage and life I have today.

And from here on out, that means I’m going to talk about Christ too.

If you’re interested in bringing these principles—and faith—into your own marriage, you can find details about our upcoming couples retreat HERE.

Should you put yourself first, or should love require sacrifice?

In this episode, I explore why that isn't the right question. The key isn't whether you sacrifice—it's whether you're choosing that sacrifice from fear or from strength.

We'll talk about the difference between healthy sacrifice and self-abandonment, why people-pleasing creates resentment, and how to stay true to yourself while building stronger, more connected relationships.

If you've ever wondered when to say yes, when to say no, and how to make those decisions with integrity, this episode is for you.

If this episode resonates with you and you're looking for deeper support in your relationship, you'll find details on our retreat at mynameiscourage.com.

What if the version of "balanced life" you've been chasing doesn't actually exist?

In this episode, I share why I believe balance isn't about doing everything perfectly—it's about making intentional trade-offs based on your values, your priorities, and your current capacity.

We'll talk about why comparison keeps us feeling like we're falling short, how to stop equating capacity with worth, and why joy doesn't come from finally getting your life together. It comes from embracing the beautiful, imperfect life you're already living.

If you're tired of feeling like you're failing because you can't do it all, this conversation is for you.

Have you ever felt like every book you read, every podcast you listen to, or every free moment has to make you a better person?

For years, I believed that if I wasn't actively healing, learning, or improving myself, I was wasting my time. That mindset kept me striving—but it also kept me from enjoying the life I was working so hard to create.

In this episode, I share a season when depression, anxiety, and exhaustion taught me an unexpected lesson: sometimes the most healing thing you can do isn't another self-help book or productivity habit. Sometimes it's giving yourself permission to do something simply because it brings you joy.

We'll talk about:

• Why personal growth can accidentally crowd out happiness.
• The difference between discipline and constant self-optimization.
• Why joy isn't the opposite of healing—it's one of its goals.
• A simple exercise to help you reconnect with what genuinely delights you.

If you've spent years focused on healing from trauma, becoming a better version of yourself, or always asking what you should be doing, this episode is an invitation to ask a different question:

What actually makes your heart happy?

I'd love for you to make your own list of 20 things that bring you joy, then choose one to do this week—not because it's productive, but because your life is worth enjoying.

If you're interested in attending our couples retreat, find all the details HERE.

What are your kids learning about love simply by watching your relationship?

In this episode, Brent and I reflect on a comment one of our children made that stopped us in our tracks: "Mom and Dad have known each other for a long time, and they don't hate each other."

That simple observation sparked a deeper conversation about the messages children absorb from the way we handle conflict, repair after disagreements, take responsibility for our emotions, and continue growing as individuals.

We talk about:

• What we hope our kids learn by watching our marriage
• Why healthy relationships require self-awareness and personal growth
• The difference between unconditional love and emotional manipulation
• Why children shouldn't feel responsible for managing a parent's emotions
• What defines a healthy marriage beyond "we never fight"
• The relationship legacy we hope to leave our family

Our kids are learning far more from what they experience than from what we say. They're forming beliefs about marriage, conflict, love, and emotional health every single day.

Our hope is that they grow up believing marriage is more than something to endure. That it can be a relationship built on friendship, accountability, growth, and genuine joy.

If this conversation resonates with you, share this episode with someone who wants to build a healthier marriage and create a lasting example for the next generation.

For years, Brent and I thought successful parenting meant getting the right behavior from our kids. We focused on correcting, managing, and preventing mistakes because we believed their behavior reflected whether we were good parents.

Today, we see parenting very differently.

In this episode, we share the mindset shifts that have helped us move from controlling behavior to building stronger relationships with our children. We talk about why love should never be earned, why every person is responsible for their own emotions, how our relationship with our kids shapes our influence, and why our children's reactions don't determine whether we're succeeding as parents.

If you've ever wondered how to raise emotionally healthy kids while strengthening your family relationships, this conversation will give you practical principles you can begin applying today.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why parenting the child matters more than parenting the behavior.
• How strengthening your marriage can strengthen your parenting.
• Teaching emotional responsibility without dismissing feelings.
• Why connection creates more lasting influence than control.
• Letting go of the belief that your child's behavior defines your worth as a parent.

Next week, we're continuing this conversation by sharing what we hope our children are learning simply from growing up in our home and watching the way we live, love, repair, and grow together.

One of my biggest fears as a young mom was that one day my children might find themselves in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. For years, that fear shaped how I parented.

Over time, I realized something important: I can't control who my children will love or the challenges they'll face. What I can do is teach them the relationship skills that healthy love requires.

In this episode, I'm sharing the five principles Brent and I are intentionally teaching in our home to help our children build strong, respectful, emotionally healthy relationships throughout their lives. We talk about taking responsibility for our emotions, separating behavior from identity, teaching children that love isn't earned, validating feelings without letting them lead every decision, and helping kids use their voice with both honesty and respect.

These lessons don't just strengthen future marriages, they shape every relationship our children will have.

If you've ever wondered how to prepare your kids for healthy, lasting relationships without parenting from fear, this episode will give you practical principles you can begin applying today.

If you'd like to learn more about the relationship tools we've used in our own marriage and family, check out the link below for details about our upcoming couples retreat.

Couples Retreat Details

If you feel like you're having the same argument with your spouse over and over again, this episode may change the way you see your relationship.

For years, I believed that if I could communicate more clearly, my marriage would finally change. But one idea from relationship therapist David Schnarch completely shifted my perspective: the two-choice dilemma.

In this episode, I'm unpacking what that means, why so many couples get stuck in recurring conflict, and how our desire to avoid painful realities often keeps us trapped far longer than the reality itself.

We'll talk about:

• Why better communication isn't always the answer
• How trying to create a "third option" keeps couples in gridlock
• The difference between thoughtful healing and avoiding reality
• Why accepting what you can't control creates more freedom and peace
• How differentiation and self-soothing help you navigate difficult relationship decisions with courage and integrity

I also share personal examples from my own marriage and healing journey to illustrate what it looks like to face reality without giving up on growth.

If this conversation resonates with you, I'd love to invite you to our Couples Retreat in Bear Lake, Utah, where we help couples identify the hidden dynamics keeping them stuck and learn healthier ways to navigate conflict together.

You can find more details HERE