MS Diary | Thursday, 1/18/24 | Recovering from a breakdown 

Yesterday morning was nasty. I was sleepy, hurting and didn't see a way to BE better. The restroom trips and Dalton wheelchair pushed to a fit of yelling and crying.

I didn't know my wife and kids were just outside the room. She immediately jumped into action, rubbing my head, kissing my neck, patting my back. Her words weren't to ‘calm down’; she just held me, stood there, let me cry about it.

Then, I started treating myself. I filled my cup with lemon water. I brushed my teeth alone. I smoked, again. I poured a drink. She fed me. I wrote a gratitude story about the wheelchair. I spent the day preparing and recording the FIRST mindset OVER bullshit podcast of the year. She took naps with me, cuddling into the little spoon position. 

Slowly, I calmed down. No, I didn't solve the wheelchair problem but I'm coo enough to keep going. I've done the work to see some accommodations i can make.

This ain't no life for the weak. 

#multiplesclerosis #wheelchair #wheelchairlife #disability #disabled #chronicpain #chronicillness #autoimmunedisease #mindset #mentalhealth #begrateful #gratitudejournal