MS Diary | So much self-care has drawbacks!

MS Diary | Jumpstarting your healing 

Today is day 2 of making my mind up to start reinventing myself. I'm gonna jumpstart my healing by acting, talking, texting, blogging, videos, EVERY-THING, like I'm doing better. No more sitting here wishing and hoping that things were different. Time to quit repeating the steps that got me here.

I HATE this. I hate it, hate it, hate it. It's crazy that she moved on so quick. I'm using that shock to spark anger. Force myself to accept what's happening and start moving too. 

There's a quote: "Fake it till you make it"

I'm gonna fake like I'm over it. Fake like I'm happy. Fake like I'm in less pain. Fake everything and shock the world when I use this hurt to finally blow my blog up. I'll write my true feelings, share what's fucked up and why. THIS will  make a blog into a line of income. Then, I'm the one free. Then, I surprise everyone and move to Ecuador.

What's fucked up is that I overstand why a healthy person would leave a disabled person. I get it, walks, drives, dance, whatever. 

Now, I'm forced to decide between staying IN the house so she and the kids can see me & help me

OR

leave with family that actually WANTS me

This is so fucked up. I know staying here is safest decision but it hurts so fucking much to see her living her best life, watching kids grow into mf's that don't need you. Everyone gets to live their best life except me. 

So, this will be my greatest challenge for the rest of my life. I gotta prove all this Gratitude, be grateful, love language, manifestations, yoga, meditation, all this mindset OVER bullshit REALLY works. 

I know it's not me against the world but Jesus Christ it feels like it is.

What's fucked up is that I overstand why a healthy person would leave a disabled person. I get it, walks, drives, dance, whatever. 

Now, I'm forced to decide between staying IN the house so she and the kids can see me & help me

OR

leave outta state with distant family that actually WANTS me

This is so fucked up. I know staying here is safest decision but it hurts so fucking much to see her living her best life, watching kids grow into mf's that don't need you. Everyone gets to live their best life except me. 

MS Diary | How I recovered from anxiety

MS and divorce

National Tattoo Story Day

Oooooo! Now, THIS is something to celebrate. Matter fact, let me open a can for THIS day.

National Tattoo Story Day

#blogger #blogging #blog #life #lifestyle #lifestyleblog #allaboutyou #perspective #beyou #allonyou #bethechange #keepgoing #passion #purpose #mission #message

MS Diary | Friday, the 13th