What's fucked up is that I overstand why a healthy person would leave a disabled person. I get it, walks, drives, dance, whatever. 

Now, I'm forced to decide between staying IN the house so she and the kids can see me & help me

OR

leave outta state with distant family that actually WANTS me

This is so fucked up. I know staying here is safest decision but it hurts so fucking much to see her living her best life, watching kids grow into mf's that don't need you. Everyone gets to live their best life except me.