MS Diary | Wednesday, 4/3/24 | Self-care revelation 

Yesterday, I realized something MAJOR with my wellness. I know I'm not the only one.

I only self-care when I'm alone. I'm sick AF. I'm severely disabled. I'm riddled with bullshit, disabilities, limitations, chronic pain, explanations for doing nothing. Yet, here I am. Here, WE are.

I'm married. I refuse to collapse in front of my wife. No way. The intense crush I wield for her is my theme music of survival. I'm always going forward when she's around, grinding, building, working, believing. It's tiresome.

I'm a father so there's no rest. Noooo. How? When? Where? The kids NEED shit. The kids didn't ask for this bullshit, don't deserve to miss out over MY limitations. I'm earning for them, growing, learning, improving, sacrificing. It's exhausting.

When I'm alone, no wife, kids gone, fam and friends busy. That's when I slow down. That's when I sleep, rest, pay attention to what hurts. It's the only time I self-care.