Episode Fourteen: Releasing Expectation And The Meaning That We Attach To Outcomes
I truly believe that there is no such thing as failure - there is only the result that you get and the lessons that you learned.
Today, let's talk about what it means to learn how to release the expectations that we place on ourselves and our businesses and how the meaning that we attach to the outcomes that we achieve impacts upon our success.
Why have I gone all woo-woo on you lately? We've talked a lot about mindset, beliefs, being open to opportunities and deliberate about your happiness, and how that impact your business.
I promise there is science in my madness. Well, I'm actually a scientist at heart. I studied biomedical sciences. And I know there is a scientific foundation to a lot of stuff that people talk today, like our belief system, how our thoughts control our actions, the thought patterns that we have that influence our success.
So let's dive in! Let's talk about expectation and the meaning that we attach to outcomes.
Releasing expectation
We all create an expectation in almost everything that happens in our life. Whether it's a conversation with someone or something that we want to try for the first time, we always have an expectation of what the outcome would be.
What we don't often realize is that these expectations that we create are based on our experiences to date. How your life has gone up to this point shapes the expectations you put about your future.
Now, if you want a different outcome from what you have right now, what got you here won't get you there. If you want your business to grow and create transformation for your clients and even your own life, then you need to change the way you think. You need to change your approach and open yourself up for new experiences and ways to achieve the outcomes that we want.
While our expectations and actions are shaped by our experiences, we need to re-examine them a bit. Because subconsciously or consciously, with our strong expectations of something, we deliberately do things that will make those outcomes come to life. You know what? We could be sabotaging ourselves.
If we're going in without being open, without seeing what we can learn from our experiences, what we can improve, we are sabotaging ourselves for much bigger things. Does that make sense?
Attaching meaning to outcomes
Similar to expectations when we have an idea of how something would go, when we set a goal or walk into a situation, and there are several possible outcomes, we attach a meaning to each of them.
Well, you could experience the feeling of failure. But if you dig deeper to what you have actually done, your journey towards that goal may have actually been amazing. If you take a look at where you started compared to where you are right now and in relation to your goal, you may have done significant improvement already.
Don't negate the learnings you gained, the better results you achieved, and the amazing outcome you've delivered to your clients.
Attaching a meaning of failure to your outcome undermines the amazing improvement you've achieved. It could sink into your subconscious and make you believe that you can't achieve your bigger goals. It can harm your courage and confidence in your ability to achieve greater success in the future.
By attaching meaning to outcomes, you are undermining your ability to learn. If you can release that meaning and if you can release the outcome and not attach all these stuff to the situation or the goal that you are trying to achieve, it becomes an experiment.
What do you think happens when you don't hit a goal that you have attached massive expectation and meaning to?
It stops your momentum and kills your confidence.
How hard is it to get up and do it again? It's really hard, isn't it?
Maybe we just got our timeline wrong, but that big goal is still achievable. There are just some learning that we have to do along the way in order to hit it.
How timid are you likely to be if you shouted it from the rafters and hit a different outcome?
If it were me, I would be embarrassed. I would feel unworthy. I would be incredibly diminished. My confidence means a lot to me, so I would be really, really timid. That straight away changes my ability to commit.
That's why I say that you are exactly where you are meant to be in your journey and your business right now. You are exactly in the right place for you and your business right now.
You might have missed out on the timing for your goal, but you are in the journey and you are learning the stuff that you need to learn to hit that goal in the timing that is right for you.
If you constrain how committed you are, how strongly you show up, how willing you are to challenge yourself and your beliefs, and how you strive to be more, to be better and to improve, than you won't hit your goals faster. But if you don't constrain these and if you just keep on going, then you will hit your goals faster. It's all about mindset.
It's also why I say that it is none of your business what other people think of you. What other people think and say about you, whether it's negative or positive, it's not actually about you. It's just from their perspective, based on what they can see and what their beliefs are.
Attaching meaning to your outcome and minding what other people would say could have a detrimental impact on how you perform. Your beliefs define your success.
So, how do you release expectation whilst still taking massive action? How do you resist the urge to attach meaning to the outcomes you achieve?
What it really means to you is to adopt an experimentation mindset in your business. It's not over until you say it's over.
You have the power. You are the entrepreneur. You own your business. You are the person who can decide what each experience, result and outcome means, what your next steps are, what your goals are and when the party is over on that particular goal.
That means you have incredible power to act and change the way that you show up and the way you're doing things.
When you have your mindset strengthened and you are consciously thinking and readjusting your thoughts, and you apply an experimentation mindset to a proven system in your business—you can become unstoppable! Because you are releasing the outcome and you are learning to trust in yourself and your intuition.
And as a mum, you know that's powerful! Nobody knows your child better than you do, so more often than not, you had better go with your intuition instead of allowing others' expectations to influence your decisions.
When you do this in an environment of community and mentorship, constantly working on your confidence and your mindset—and trusting in your ability to create transformation for your clients—you can create massive results. You really can, ladies. Resisting attaching meaning to the outcome means that the massive results might look different to what you thought they would.
Are you ready to move from Conflicted and confused in where to go next in your business to smashing goals with confidence like the rockstar CEO I know you are? You can learn how in my latest masterclass - register to watch here -- http://bit.ly/createmasterclass
If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you to take action in your business, I'd love to hear about it and your biggest take-away! Take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram Stories and tag me, @nicole.tewierik.
For full show notes and links, visit: https://nicoletewierik.com/blog/2019/4/3/releasing-expectations-that-we-place-on-ourselves
