Tonight on Murder, She Wrote! Lila Lee is more than a makeup, it’s a lifestyle. And Lila Lee herself believes that wholeheartedly. And why shouldn’t she? Makeup can transform a woman! It can make a housewife look like a hooker. But can it transform a hooker to a housewife?

We ask the important questions. Was he coming from some loser wedding? Is the only way to know that you're in a hotel suite a framed headshot? Was she actually her English Fletcher? How can we find out how long her hair hat is? Would an adult prostitute only own one tube of lipstick? Was that eye shadow applied by someone's big toe? Today on Murder, She Recapped!

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote! Jessica Fletcher doesn't want Doc Hazlitt to know she's excited to go digging with him. So, she pretends she's doing research for a book, just like she pretends she wants to play chess every week, and she pretends that Seth is the only medical examiner in Maine. But demure Jessica Fletcher drops every hint there is. From gossiping about the sex lives of grad students, to not barfing at Seth's sweat stains. But Seth just doesn't get it. Is his head as thick as a southwest university students?

We ask the important questions. Did your college bookstore sell daggers? Was this episode sponsored by big Bandana? Is her entire wardrobe from Chico’s? Why do they keep referencing that lasagna loving cat? Why did they have to do sweaty Seth so dirty? In a radio phone, is the most important piece the loose one that’s not connected? Today, on Murder, She Recapped!

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote! Beverly Gareth loves Spanish. She can’t read or write it, but she is really starting to understand it! Her absolute favorite telanovella is appointment television for her. And she loves it so much that she would risk her life to not miss it! And what Beverly Gareth wants, she gets. But, has her need to have it all finally gone too far? Is this the one demand that will ultimately take her out?

We ask the important questions. Is that man wearing a stick on mustache? How cool is a lunch of hot dog buns and cocktail sauce? Does most of his repair work come from merpeople?  Would you let him punch your library card? Cause of death was her own last name? Is anything better than Bart Nelson's after a day of limousine-ing? Today on Murder, She Recapped!

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote. Tick tock. The West Barrington Institute for Women is a powder keg. Sure, those inmates look like Calvin Klein models in their denim on denim uniform. But style can't make up for everything. For years, someone's been selling off their top quality vegetables and someone's been diluting their drugs. So when the prisoners get a chance to blow the lid off the prison, would anyone blame them if they took it? Tick tock, Mrs. Fletcher, the dynamite's already been lit.

We ask the important questions. Is this the school for naughty girls? Where can I get those jeans? How much Vidal Sassoon is each prisoner allowed? Is that Tracy Turnblad? How fresh are those prints? What percentage of group murder are they each guilty of? THIS IS IT?! Today on Murder, She Recapped!

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote! Don’t underestimate the power of a short king. These pint sized lotharios can do more than just ride horses. They can drive a woman to murder! Thankfully, 5’8” Jessica Fletcher knows this and does not look down on them. She would never overlook such a man, especially when his Panamanian heat could be a clue in the murder of the racehorse owner. No detail is too small. No inconsistency too tiny. She will get into the miniscule facts to prove that her niece did not commit murder. 

We ask the important questions. Was that woman Dog the Bounty Hunter? Does knife beat rock, paper, AND scissor? Are the people backlisted from the track going on go-see's? Does he have Fletcher's Disease? How many cast members from Saved By the Bell are we gonna get? What exactly is the sauce of the problem? Today on Murder, She Recapped!

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote! Joanna picks wild flowers. Joanna wears unusual robes. Joanna runs naked through the woods so that a group of middle aged oddballs believes she's a nature lover. Joanna makes reservations for her boyfriend to go on vacation with his wife. Joanna's never going to break up with her boyfriend. Not even after Jessica Fletcher sees him kill his wife. Don't be like Joanna. Break up with him, ok? 

We ask the important questions. Is that Jocelyn, AGAIN? Is running through the woods nude a "bit"? Did everyone involved previously work at a disco? Is there such a place as Cabot County? Was it glass from a butthole? What exactly is scoober gear? Today on Murder, She Recapped!

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote! Carl is a rock n roller. He likes drugs and tunes and having a bushy beard. But when he meets Cheryl, he is willing to swap the drugs for daffodils, change the tunes to petunias, and shave that beard right off if that means access to millions of dollars. He’d even go so far as to dress up in a “burn victim goes to work” outfit. That money is making him crazy. Or is he making Cheryl’s mother crazy?

We ask the important questions. Who puts headshots in their bedroom? Why is he pipe suckin'? What was Laura doing in this episode? Do you wanna know who's doing worse than your bird? Remember that one man rock group, Hot Silk? Do you keep all your murder clues in a box in the wall? Today on Murder, She Recapped!

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote! Meet Emma, who's lived most everywhere from Zanzibar to Berkeley Square. But JB's only lived in Maine. Though last year she did visit Spain. What a crazy pair. But they're cousins. Identical cousins, all the way. One pair of matching book ends, different as night and day. (Please don't sue us.)

We ask the important questions. How may roles did SJP play on Sex and the City? Is that the time share bird? Is the stunt man also Spiderman? Did the turtleneck murderer call her on a tin can and some string? Is that a perm on a perm on a perm on a bathmat? Why is that man wearing a choker? Has she spent every weekend this month attempting murder? Today on Murder, She Recapped!

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote! When Jessica is invited to Crenshaw College to receive an honorary degree, and to become a person that the college calls and emails for money for the rest of her life, she is thrown into the midst of a mother daughter conflict that ends with a dead body of an absolute STUD. A mother's scholarly pride has stopped her from owning up to the absolute smut that she needs to write, and a daughter's general stupidity has left her with no choice but to reluctantly live large on Mommy's secret talent. But, neither of those secrets proves more deadly than the confirmed bachelor's obsession with his mentor. And none of them are creepier than a husband and wife who both like to cheat with people who are half or double their age. This is absolutely a school for scandal!

We ask the important questions. Is vertically the best way to store a punch bowl? Is she growing out that perm? Is her name "barrel"? Did "Pee" Casso paint that pitcher? What in the Home Interiors was going on in this bedroom? Is everyone a pervert? Was the murderer a dolphin? Today, on Murder, She Recapped!

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote!  Julian was the heart and soul of Our Secret Lives. He considered his castmates to be family. He played Dr. Goodman for so long that the line started to blur between daytime drama and grim reality. But, is Julian really the one who killed the dragon lady, Lucille Bluth? I'm pretty sure he still thinks so. 

We ask the important questions. Is anything more relaxing than scaffolding in a silk robe? Did she bring her teddy bears to work? Is that dress a replica of the  bus seats from my choir trip to New York? Can Jessica only communicate how close by being SO close? Did she react like a fainting goat? Today on Murder, She Recapped!