By Maliquea Starnes
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The podcast currently has 19 episodes available.
In this special BONUS episode of the Musings with Maliquea podcast, you'll join Maliquea Starnes and Natalie Franke as they explore the impact of community and connection in entrepreneurship!
Grab your copy of Natalie's NEW Book: Built to Belong on Amazon
https://amzn.to/2UyH2aa
Are you not scheduling days off for yourself? Are you working a schedule you don't like? Are you a people pleaser who can't say 'no'? Are you ignoring yourself in order to focus on your business? Well, you're in luck because I'm going to walk you through each of these points and give you tips on how to get past them!
In this episode, I'm sharing the common mistakes I've made over and over again so that you can hopefully avoid them as you continue to grow your event business.
We discuss:
… and more!
Here are some highlights...
We can make things perfect, right?
"I'm a perfectionist and I'm super organized and I just love all the details that also makes me a control freak and I want my hands on every single thing. I think that's a limiting belief that we kind of take on. I think that as event professionals, we really pride ourselves on this idea that we can make things perfect, right? The perfect day, the best day ever. But one of my favorite mindset shifts I've had to grasp as a perfectionist is excellence over perfection, because excellence leaves room for grace and perfection does not. Perfection has no room for error, there's no grace in that. And if there's no grace, then there's no opportunity for you to allow someone else to help you."
Events are a people pleasing industry.
"After spending the last five years at countless events, I can name lots of mistakes that I made. However, the funny thing about looking back on your mistakes is that you realize you kept making the same mistakes over and over. Such as being in a people pleasing industry. If you are a person who tends to lean on the side of being a people pleaser, you know that it's not really something that's unique to the work that you do, it kind of just permeates all up in your whole life. I have always been the person who prefers to politely just do what I think will make someone happy and it's something that I even struggle with to this day. You create a lot of space to not have boundaries and to not be able to say no. And to not be willing to enforce boundaries that could potentially result in someone being upset."
Build in break times for you and your company.
"I started to make the mistake of believing at a certain point that I am off during the week, and I work on the weekends. And that is the way it goes. Well, let me tell you something about that real quick, that gets really old really fast. And I honestly stopped even thinking about the possibility that there could be weddings for my business happening on the weekend. Every year that I did a wedding on the weekend of my birthday was crazy. And I truly believe that I wasn't fully present and fully there, and it took so much out of me. Build in some days that you're absolutely not going to take events. You create some time for sabbaticals, and extended breaks to really be intentional about the downtime. Be intentional about what you are going to do as a company with the time that you do take off."
Have you become frustrated and unhappy with your business? Is a break up imminent? Let me walk you through how to find your way back to the spark that initially drove you to start your business. Back to your initial love story that inspired you to take the leap into love and entrepreneurship.
In this episode we’re giving you a few tips on how to find that spark again. Whether you’re just not attracting the clients you want or you’re realizing your systems are not working for you anymore, we’ve got you covered. It’s time to fall in love again.
We discuss:
… and more!
Here are some highlights...
The interesting dynamic we have with our business
"It truly just feels like such a huge part of us. I've heard people say ‘my business is like my baby’ or they feel married to the money. And I started to have this thought that it really does feel like we're in relationship with our business sometimes. Because let's face it, it really is an intimate thing. And it’s our hard work, blood, sweat and tears that we pour into it. It’s something that is so special to us. We cherish it.”
One of the most challenging aspects of entrepreneurship
"I was giving so much to my business, and I just wasn't getting anything in return. I was spending money on marketing, staying up super late at night and not booking clients, putting in all the work and just doing all the things and it's just not giving it back to me. And I started to think about this idea, you know, how to fall in love with your business again. I think that we all know that a one sided relationship is not sustainable. And I think that just like you would do with your boo or your bestie, when you are ready to really say ‘you know what, I am not getting out of this what my original intention was to get out of this,’ you may have to take a step back and figure out if you are ready to give it your all. Or if there are some parts of this situation that are no longer serving you."
Go on a date with your goals and ask hard questions
"When you go on a date with someone you ask questions like, 'what do you do for a living? Where are you from? Are you a psycho?' So many questions, right? Essentially, what you're doing is you are trying to get to the bottom of who this person is, and see if they're a good fit. And I think that going on a date with your goals is the best thing that you can do when you are just feeling out of whack and to help you to get back in alignment. You can pour yourself a glass of wine just like you're going on a real date, sit down, think about your goals, and literally just ask yourself some hard questions. Why am I trying so hard to accomplish this goal? Where did this goal come from? etc."
Learn how to have fun again.
"We get our head down, we start working and we literally get in the weeds of just the day to day life. Sometimes when we're in relationship with others we start to go through the motions, you know, the fun and the joy somehow it doesn't disappear, but it becomes few and far between. And I think business can be that way as well. I think a lot of times we take business so seriously because it's our livelihood and it's our bread and butter. I feel like the same way that childlike joy and playfulness and creativity shows up in relationships, it can show up that exact same way in the relationship with your business."
It’s no secret that working in the event industry can be tiring. While you DO make your own hours, a lot of times you end up working even more than if you’d just stayed at your full time job. Not to mention the unique experiences in the wedding and event industry that can make it even harder to find downtime and manage your energy.
In this episode, I’m sharing the big reasons why people in our industry end up feeling exhausted and ways to avoid these issues so you don’t end up in burn out. You need to understand there are unique challenges event pro's face specifically that can be different from other service providers so that you can prepare yourself to be proactive about these things.
We discuss:
Here are some highlights...
The high volume of leads and inquiries combined with limited availability at venues
“One of the first things that comes to mind for wedding and event professionals specifically is you have a high volume of leads and inquiries coming in. So with your average service provider, you definitely are looking to get more leads, get more traction. Maybe you're running Facebook ads, maybe you're doing a bigger push for marketing. But when we're thinking about wedding and event professionals, whether it be the area that you live in, or maybe there's a lot of popular venues where you're from, or beautiful scenery and it's a very popular place for weddings and events. A lot of times wedding and event professionals are getting inquiry on inquiry, they're getting leads for dates. Whether you're a photographer, a florist, a venue, you can only facilitate so many events per day, and so I think that the first place of friction for wedding and event professionals specifically comes from you having this high volume of leads and inquiries competing with limited availability, because really, there’s only 52 weekends in a year.”
The need for sales consultations
“A lot of service providers may be able to take out the sales consultation piece of their business. Maybe they are doing evergreen programs or maybe they're able to remove sales calls completely, and you book me and I provide service, and that's it. For event and wedding professionals, 9 times out of 10, a bride and a groom or a couple who is hosting an event, wants to talk to this person that is going to be super hands-on in bringing this event to fruition.”
The amount of revisions can eat up time
“Once you book the client, there are revisions on revisions, so that's something else that's very unique for wedding and event professionals. With web designers, you usually can say, ‘Hey, we're gonna do three rounds of revisions, if I send you over a logo and you don't like it, you've got two more times after that, I'm gonna charge you extra.’ Well, with weddings, events, people are constantly changing their minds and rightfully so, because there's so many options out there. They decide they want these kinds of dishes for dinner, and then as we get closer, they find some different ones that they like better. Or they decide that they actually wanna have it in this room instead of the other room at the venue because there's more people coming now. There's so many different variables, and so I think that those revisions constantly being brought in and added is another thing that's really unique and specific to those of us in the wedding and event industry.”
Bringing on your first hire can be stressful. What happens if you make the wrong choice? What if you end up having to fire someone? It can feel overwhelming and scary, but to grow your business, you have to do it.
In this episode, I’m sharing 4 tips you need to consider before you make your first hire. Knowing and implementing these steps will help you get clear on what you need, who to hire and how to make it smooth for everyone involved.
We discuss:
Here are some highlights...
The importance of preparing financially.
“The number one thing that you don't wanna do is put yourself in a position where you only have enough money to pay your team and not pay yourself. You need to make sure that you are planning for profitability and you're planning in a way where you actually can become compensated. This is a big shift that I see a lot of entrepreneurs make the mistake of not thinking about before they bring on a team member. A lot of times, that comes from that place of desperation. You’re so desperate because you're tired, they're doing all the work. And now you’re thinking ‘forget my salary, I just need to pay someone and hire someone because I need to go on vacation or I need the weekend off.’ So make sure that you prepare financially so that you can feel good about this hire and that you're not sacrificing yourself and your lifestyle for the sake of having help immediately.”
Why getting operations in place is vital.
“Getting prepared operationally means creating standard operating procedures and documenting everything before you bring someone on to your team. I cannot tell you during my days of being a virtual assistant for wedding and event planners, how many times people hired me and brought me in because they were so overwhelmed, and then when I started, they had no idea what they wanted me to do. This was really, really hard for me as a virtual assistant, because as a person who wants to help and show up to support people in their business, I could think of a million things that I could do to help them, but they honestly had no idea what they wanted me to help them with. Essentially what happens here is you become burnt out from training someone before they have even got to the place where they can support you, because everything's in your head, it's not on paper, it's not in a system.”
How assessments can help you build a strong team.
“One of the best things that I ever did in my business was incorporate things like the Enneagram. There are a lot of different tools out there that help you get to know the learning style and the communication style of the person that you want on your team. Before they join your team, but also once they're on your team, tools like the Enneagram and some of the other assessments out there, Strengthsfinder is another great one, these tools are gonna help you to not only be able to show up as the best leader possible, but to be able to create an environment where your employees and your new team members can thrive. Once I started to incorporate the Enneagram into my business, it allowed me to see not only how I show up in things like conflict, but how I show up as a leader.”
Are you using automations in your business yet? If you answered no, why not? We hear a lot of fears around using this amazing tool to make your life and business easier, and we want to squash them for you right now!
In this episode, I’m sharing all the reasons why using automations is SUCH an important part of running a successful business, and why it’s NOT going to make you stale. I promise.
We discuss:
Here are some highlights...
Automation Doesn’t Have to Be Impersonal
“Don't think about automation as this thing that's gonna take your business away from you. It's going to allow you to step away from your business to be able to do other things, but it's not going to be this thing that takes your business and changes it into something it's not.
Your Fear of Something Breaking is Just a Control Issue
“When you say: ‘I can't use automations because if something breaks, that would just be the end of the world,’ this is deeply rooted in a need for control and need for perfectionism. You’re having a hard time letting go and trusting a system to support you. These are some of those limiting rooted fears that keep us from growing as entrepreneurs, especially in the service-based industry. A way to reframe this is to consider: if you don’t implement automation and systems somewhere along the line, things are already broken.”
Fear of What You Don’t Know.
“A huge part of the reason that people hired me to help them with their systems and setting up their business to be more streamlined, is this fear that ‘if I implement a system or an automation that I don't know how to use right now, that learning curve will prevent that system from supporting me.’ Listen, this is where you have to trust that hiring the right person or outsourcing to the right person can be a game changer for you as it relates to automation and systems.”
More often than not, entrepreneurs think that the path to success has to involve working endless hours, and burning out. They take pride in their ability to work 7 days a week, and succumb to ‘hustle culture’ even when it’s to their own detriment.
In this episode, I’m sharing all the reasons why taking a vacation is not only an important part of running your business, it's actually VITAL in its success.
We discuss:
Here are some highlights...
Limiting Beliefs.
“We have this limiting belief as service providers that in order for us to rest or to take time off, it has to be earned. But you do not work a nine to five anymore where you have to accrue time off. Okay? You get to take time off whatever you want. You get to decide, maybe I don't respond to clients on Fridays or Mondays. This is your business, you get to design it however you want!”
Working from a Place of Rest & Joy.
“When you start having fun again in your business, it starts to really get you in that high vibe, it helps you remember your why so clearly. And this is where you start to get some of those really fresh ideas when you are operating from a place of rest and joy. I'm telling you, it is like a switch. So many things will come to you. You'll be like: “You know what, I'm not feeling that anymore. I don't wanna do that anymore.” It's not until we rest and until we are having fun where we go “you know what? These are the feelings that I wanna feel all the time, and this is what's gonna have to shift in my business in order for that to happen.” Those creative juices really start flowing, and I think that it's so powerful.”
Tapping into your intuition.
“Sometimes when people say, you know, trust your gut, listen to your intuition, they don't realize that intuition is just the ability to hear yourself. [Being on vacation in London] was the first time that I had been able to hear myself in a long time. I had so many revelations during that trip about what I actually wanted for my life as well as for my business. Going on vacation affords you the opportunity to get clarity! We fork out a ton of cash on little products and little things to help us get clarity, when sometimes it's just that sense of that inner knowing [that we truly need].”
Resources Mentioned in this episode:
Untamed by Glennon Doyle, https://untamedbook.com/
Run Like Clockwork by Mike Michalowicz and Adrienne Dorison, https://www.runlikeclockwork.com/
Book a VIP Day with Maliquea, https://www.maliqueastarnes.com/vipday
Today I'm going to be sharing the one part of your business that needs to start and stay personal, and that is your why. I believe that when we ground down and connect to the purpose of our mission, we can create and sustain a truly successful business. But how do you identify that?
In this episode, I’m sharing five tips to help you define your why, so that you can truly have the business of your dreams.
We discuss:
Here are some highlights...
Deep Roots.
“We want you to be able to say: I am so deeply rooted in this why and I have defined it and made it so super clear that it doesn't matter if this is a tough month. It doesn't matter if I'm not booking as many clients as I would like to book, I cannot be shaken. This metaphorical storm in your business is not going to take you out because those roots run deep. This allows you to get anchored in something that you deeply care about and that you're super passionate about.”
The Long Haul.
“I want you to think about the long haul. Get really really sustainable with this and think about how long can I get behind this why? Is this a random thing that I feel really passionate about right now? Because if that's the case then maybe this is more of a hobby, maybe this is more of a side hustle, maybe this is something that you're just getting curious about. But when you're really serious about something and you want to do it for years and years to come, that's how it becomes sustainable. And that is one way that you can identify if you're in it for the long haul, but also if your why is sustainable.”
Going All In.
“When you decide that you're going to go all in on something, it is no longer about the numbers. It becomes about the transformation and the change that your clients are going to experience because you've committed to this with your full self, your mind, your heart, your soul is aligned with this why, and you know for a fact that this is the thing that you are meant to do in this world.”
Today I’m having an incredible conversation with a very special guest: Minaa B.
Minaa B., is a writer, wellness coach, therapist and mental health educator. With over eight years of clinical experience and a passion for both mental health and social justice, through writing, speaking, workshops and coaching, Minaa teaches people how to cultivate self-care and self-advocacy through the lens of boundaries and community-care.
In this episode, we discuss how entrepreneurs can be more intentional about implementing better limits in their business, and overcome some of the unique challenges they face when it comes to setting boundaries.
We discuss:
Here are some highlights …
Cultivating Community and Relationships.
“At the end of the day, we can't pour from an empty cup. And so by having boundaries, it gives us an ability to replenish ourselves, and also have healthy limits in place only we can define what our limits are. That's no one else's responsibility to do that. So once we define our limits, we also have to pay attention to the things that drain us, of our peace that drains us, drains us from our energy. And so by doing that, we can now show up better for ourselves. And we can show up better for the people around us.” - Minaa B.
“..I definitely believe that incorporating boundaries into how we build community, is how we are able to have a solid foundation of people in our lives.” -Minaa B.
Being a chronic yes-er.
“I find one area where entrepreneurs struggle, with boundaries is being a chronic yes-er, where they say anything that comes my way, I'm going to take it. And I'm going to do it because I need to keep my business afloat. And I think what ends up happening with that is we are saying yes to all of these things without really doing the work of understanding Well, one, is this within my niche, is this within my range? Is this something I actually have the the education, the skills and the time to do? And I think sometimes what we fear saying no, because we think that we are pushing away opportunities, and I think it's important for entrepreneurs to know that every opportunity that comes your way is not going to be for you, even if it's packaged and produced perfectly.” - Minaa B.
Permission to say yes to yourself.
“You have permission to say yes to yourself. Because I think sometimes we get so hyper focused on the fact that we're saying no to other people that we don't realize that we're doing that because we are saying yes to ourselves, we matter. Our health matters, our mental health matters, our well being matters, but only us, it's up to us to choose. And so I really want people to know that you have permission to choose yourself, you have permission to say yes to yourself, and what you need to do to take care of yourself, because chronic niceness only leads to self betrayal and self harm. You know, and so if being nice to others, causes you to betray yourself in the process where you're hurt, you're broke, you're tired, you're depleted, that is an act of self harm.” - Minaa B.
To Connect with Minaa visit: https://www.minaab.com/
In this episode we discuss stress and overwhelm in running your business. Too many times we are led to believe that if we are not stressed, overwhelmed, saying “yes” to every opportunity, and just overall pushing ourselves to the limit; we are not really doing all we can for our business. This simply is not true and often being overstressed and overwhelmed can lead to burnout.
Being able to identify where your stress and overwhelm comes from is one of the key steps to managing it. Taking a step back and taking a pause can be one of the best things you do for your business and yourself.
We discuss...
Taking a step back.
“What is life even if I'm not stressed and overwhelmed as a business owner, what would that look like? Well, I'm here to tell you exactly what it would look like. It would look like you actually getting to spend time with your family. It would look like you actually going on a vacation once in a while. It would look like you having a team that you can outsource and delegate to, and it would look like you saying, I don't care that everyone else around me is in this chaos energy and just trying to do all the things, because I'm at peace. And also I believe that running a business can be easy.”
Saying yes all the time.
“If someone asked me to be on their podcast and I just instantly say yes, without creating pause and space to decide if I want to do it or not? What happens is there's all this other stuff on my plate that I haven't even considered because I don't have a process for accepting or saying yes? My kind of response is to just automatically be like yes, sure, I'll do it. And that comes from seeing opportunity as a limited resource. And that is when the pause between a request and saying yes, gets shorter and shorter.
When we see every single opportunity as a limited resource or we have a scarcity mindset around the opportunities that are available to us, or things that may present themselves to us in entrepreneurship; what happens is that we are saying to ourselves, if I don't say yes right now and if I don't hurry and say yes to this, then this opportunity is not going to come again.”
Ask yourself why?
“Business can be easy. Once we start to accept some of these mindset shifts, when we have stress and we have overwhelm that creeps up, we're going to be able to identify them because of things like metrics of success being joy and freedom of time. So when we're thinking about how to identify things that are causing us stress and overwhelm, some of the things that come up for me as well, is like, how much joy does this thing bring me?
If you’re like “None. I don't like sending invoices. None. I absolutely hate showing up on a live group call each week.” Then the next question to be intentional about it is, then why do I do it? Then why am I doing that? Sometimes the number one way to identify where your stress and your overwhelm comes from is just ask yourself why?, a lot of times we are doing so much in our business for no reason at all.”
The podcast currently has 19 episodes available.