Most parenting advice stops at “the teen years get harder.” But what do you actually do about it?
In this episode on the Muslim Life Hackers podcast, parenting and career coach, Asumini Kasule breaks down why your relationship with your teenager is the foundation of their success—and why working on yourself is more powerful than trying to change them.
This isn’t about being your teen’s best friend. It’s about being the parent they need while building the connection that lets you actually influence them during the years when peer pressure peaks.
What You’ll Learn
The Foundation of Teen Success [02:00-04:00]
* Why peers become so influential during teen years
* The prophetic model: befriending your teen ages 14-21
* How connection enables guidance without judgment
The Inner Work Parents Need to Do [04:00-09:00]
* Moving from “obey me” to “I hear you”
* What innocent oppression looks like (and how to stop it)
* Why Allah won’t change your teen’s condition until you change what’s within yourself
* Managing your own emotions before addressing theirs
Setting Limits Without Being a Dictator [09:00-13:00]
* The difference between authoritarian and authoritative parenting
* How to have family meetings that actually work
* Setting boundaries while giving flexibility
* Holding limits consistently (and what happens when you don’t)
The Screen Time Battle [13:00-18:00]
* The two-hour rule and the two-hour-before-bed rule
* Why devices stay in common rooms
* Getting teens to brainstorm screen-free activities
* Modeling device boundaries as parents
Career Conversations That Don’t Create Resentment [21:00-27:00]
* Exploring strengths, not just interests
* Presenting your preference as an option, not a mandate
* Dealing with your own fear about their choices
* Why your journey doesn’t have to be their journey
Key Quotes
“Allah would not change a condition of a people until they change what’s within themselves. You might look on the outside and see my teen is the problem. But their behavior is a result of their thoughts and feelings.”
“When you yell, you’re not dealing with your emotions—you’re just releasing them by taking it out on your kids.”
“Everything about the teens starts with connection with the parent. Without that avenue, you’re leaving the job for the people around them.”
“The journey is crafted by Allah. We do our effort as parents, but the outcome is in His hands.”
Guest Bio
Asumini Kasule is a certified parenting and career coach who supports Muslim families navigating cultural and identity changes as children reach their teen years. With 20+ years of corporate leadership experience at Fortune 500 companies and degrees from Carnegie Mellon and Stanford in Material Science and Engineering, she now helps parents build the connection that lets them guide their teens toward purpose and confidence.
Connect with Asumini
* Instagram: @kasulebailacoaching
* Website: Kasule Baila Coaching
* Book: Lead with Love - A Journey of Faith in Parenting Teens
Resources Mentioned
* Builders of a Nation by Sheikha Haifa Younis
* Surah Ar-Ra’d (Quran 13:11) - “Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves”
Subscribe to the Podcast
* Apple Podcasts
* Spotify
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit muslimlifehackers.substack.com
