My Best Friend Corinne

Corinne returns from a brief hiatus with news of a breakup. No, not with the Unicorn of Death — he’s still in the picture despite vomiting on the table during a dinner date. (Hey, he’s still tall.) Corinne’s relationship with TVCO has come to an amicable close, but not to worry, she’s back with special guest and technical expert, BB15’s McCrae Olson! McCrae provides commentary as our very own Amelia Bedelia fills us in on her trip to the Middle East, where she inadvertently paraded around the Dead Sea in blackface and also arranged a spiritual photo shoot at the Western Wall...or at least a wall on the west side.

New episodes may be sporadic as Corinne figures out a new pod platform, but why not join the My Best Friend Corinne Facebook group in the meantime? Just answer a few questions and you’re in! (Skechers and Gently Girls need not apply.)

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After an inadvertent week away due to technical difficulties, Corinne returns with an episode ahead of her trip to Israel. In this week’s segment, she recaps her latest dating debacles, which include matching with a man who celebrated his engagement just one year ago, as well as a man who showed up to the date drunk and pondering suicide. Is he better or worse than the Nazi descendant she met after headlining the Great Love Debate? That’s anyone’s guess. Corinne returns next week to answer your emails, but in the meantime, we root for our bestie to meet a tall athlete in her travels to the homeland. L’Chaim!”

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Halloween has come and gone, but ‘tis the season for exchanges! Corinne recaps her week of partying while dressed as JLo, Minnie Mouse, and Elaine Benes, but unlike the rest of her reality TV colleagues, she isn’t selling those costumes on eBay for a quick buck. Instead she returns all three costumes to the original stores after wearing, because why buy when you can rent? After all, sexy Christmas costume season is just around the corner. Following days of hiding clothing tags and existing on 8-calorie crepes and mezcal, our best friend sits down to offer guidance on careers, relationships, and whether or not it’s worthwhile to fist-fight on national TV. No matter what, it’s still less sad than attending a taping of Dancing with the Stars.

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You know it’s a big week in Corinne’s world when shooting tequila with Dave Grohl is the least momentous occasion! This week we prepare to celebrate our best friend’s wedding, since Corinne’s vision box summoned a young Romanian model who is ready to be her 90-day fiancé. Luckily she likes her marriages like she likes her men: questionably legal. Amidst this excitement, she goes viral thanks to the time she got roofied at Applebee’s. Don’t let the Internet snowflakes fool you — she would totally go back if she could order a roofietini every time. After preaching the beauty of the benzo, she advises on the best way to address a partner’s porn past, how to avoid feeling like the third wheel, and what to do when you punch a bottle service waiter in the face.

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Corinne prepares for her Halloween festivities in the best way she knows how: by buying costumes designed for foreplay and preparing to traipse through the streets of West Hollywood in them. She also recaps Dolly’s visit to Denver, during which she learns that not only do her friends and family hate him, her alpaca hates him too. The visit leads her to weigh all the pros and cons of Dolly as a human, but considering how she Eternal Sunshines all of her bad relationship memories away, those good traits may actually belong to someone else. They certainly don’t belong to Hot Neighbor though, so she replaces him with Hot Girl Neighbor. You know what they say, when God closes a door, He opens a bottle of wine to share with a hotter, more fun person in the apartment jacuzzi. Finally, Corinne advises on topics like arming yourself against crazies and using your persuasion skills to your advantage. With great power comes great responsibility, so use these skills for good...like convincing your ex to buy your alpaca’s best friend.

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Corinne reveals her startling tolerance for alcohol, anesthesia, and unacceptable behavior from friendboys as she embarks on a sold-out ex-boyfriend tour, featuring appearances from exes such as EDM, Columbia Guy, and Dolly. The country singer who slid into her DMs pops into the picture too, but he’s only a future ex, not an actual one yet. This latest love spiral also includes accidentally showing a nude photo to a flight attendant, but hey, she paid for that rack. How can she be a good Jew if she doesn’t take pride in a stellar purchase? She wraps up by giving advice on topics like coming out of the closet, tackling job searches despite loan debt, and handling messy roommates. Luckily for Corinne, her future roommates can’t get very messy when confined to a cage.

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Fresh off the Reality All-Star Reunion weekend, Corinne shares highlights from her trip, such as being Florida-level good at carnival games and meeting tons of reality show contestants she’d previously spent time with but forgotten entirely, as though she’s the female Jay Byars. She also brainstorms ideal Halloween costumes and promotional merchandise. If you’re not promoting your podcast with pill cutters and bottle openers, you’re doing it wrong. She closes the show by advising on topics like getting ahead of the crazy when working with an ex, handling a cheating partner, and finding someone to sleep with overseas. Best case scenario: you never come home!

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Corinne prepares for the Reality All-Star Reunion in Las Vegas in the finest of ways, such as dining on prepackaged salad twice a day and exercising until her body falls apart. This leads her to discovering she’s more muscular than she ever knew...well, at least on one side of her body. She also shares stories about Amelia-ing adult swim classes, including bartering lessons for drinks and sexual favors. It’s an open secret — you can read more when you leave her a 5-star review on iTunes. Lastly she advises on how to navigate career choices, short-term relationships, and screwing your professor. Above all, she reminds us of the most important thing: owning a dog is just asking to be depressed in a few years, you idiot.

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Corinne agrees to a brunch date with a man whose personality is a 10 but whose face is a melted candle, learns that Denver has too many cucks in the proverbial kitchen, and matches with her dream felon. He might have a long list of charges, but he’s not actually Scott Peterson, so who’s to judge? She also spins out during an airport debacle.  But in case you haven’t heard, she’s a professional adventure racer — she’ll survive.

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Corinne explains why she has an unfair disadvantage on WikiFeet, brainstorms ideas for a potential new performance outlet, and performs detective work to confirm her new worst story of being stood up for a date. She also advises on assorted toxic relationships, including how to best handle the "Corinne" of your friend group. If this includes stealing your friend’s highly-coveted audition spot for a TV show, then so be it! Karma’s a bitch, but you should be too.

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