Alma gets all preachy in this one. He tells everyone about how loving god is, and then explains that they’ll be hacked apart and burned if they don’t believe in him.  Then he tells them that they’re all sheep and better figure out which shepherd to follow, and fast!  This should be nicknamed the “Yea episode”, one chapter alone has 38 Yeas!

“Drink” Count – 43

A little over 7 Beers!

Wow, this is a bloody episode. I feel like I should add an explicit warning label on this one just for all the gory violence in these chapters! And not only that, we’ve got corpses being made into a land bridge across a river, and then people being “cleansed” in the same river! I don’t know what else to say, this one is just messed up…

“Drink” Count – 40

Almost 7 Beers!!

King Mosiah’s boys decide to go preach to the Lamanites again, but now there’s no one left to turn the kingdom over to. So, Mosiah gets rid of kings altogether and it doesn’t take long before those stubborn Nephites go back to their wicked ways.  But, at least we’re finally done the Book of Mosiah! Book of Alma, bring it on!

“Drink” Count – 43

A little over 7 Beers!

In this episode, we first learn about the very bizzare Zarahemla justice system. And then the smooth talking Alma Jr threatens to destroy his Dad’s church. Will he succeed, or will god swoop down to save the day?

“Drink” Count – 26

A little over 4 beers

In this one, everyone comes home! The Nephites, Zarahemlas, the Alma Cult, Ammon and his boys, all of Zeniff’s peeps, and even Noah’s old priests and their kidnapped Lamanite wives; They’ve ALL been reunited, and good ol’ Mosiah is “Head King in Charge!”

“Drink” Count – 49

Just a tad over 8 Beers!

Battles, battles, and more battles! And this time, it looks like the Lamanites are regaining the upper hand. Oh, and we finally have to say goodbye to our friend King Noah, who gets slow roasted to death.

“Drink” Count – 40

Almost 7 Beers!

We finally have a guest on the show to help read along! Drew Kosonen from ProphetCast joins to hear what Abinadi has been up to, which basically is that he either started his own church or a set up a multi-level-marketing sceme… I’m still not really sure which.

“Drink” Count – 32

A little over five Beers

Abinadi teaches us the 10 commandments, and King Noah isn’t too pleased to hear it. Next Isaiah describes just how really, really ugly Jesus was (who knew?). And then we learn about Abinadi’s foot fetish, and all of Jesus’s seed.

“Drink” Count – 39

Six and a half Beers!

It’s Flashback time! So we jump way back in the story to find out how all the Lamanites took over everything in the first place. Then, we have our first battle chapter! Which, sadly, also includes a campaign of ethnic cleansing. But don’t worry, god is on their side!

“Drink” Count – 40

Almost 7 Beers!

Prepare yourselves, in this episode we are introduced to a true Goddess. Next we hear more about the Ammon/Limhi bromance, Then we wrap it up with a clip from my appearance on Atheists on Air, which I believe might be the funniest 10 minutes of my life.  Check out the whole episode here:

Atheists on Air – Episode 57

“Drink” Count – 5

Almost 1 Beer