John met his wife in Hawaii, at the top of 45 tall stairs. 

John was a UPS driver. She worked at one of his stops.  & when he got in his truck he looked all the way up the stairs & saw her in the window, waving at him.

On their first date, John taught her to surf. 

On their wedding day, it was just the two of them, a beach, and a justice of the peace. 

A year later, they were pregnant. They were reading books, going to Lamaze classes, & debating if their baby was a boy or a girl. 

John felt like they had everything. 

Then they lost their child.

Part one is this story.

Part two is the story of how he tried to understand loss, including psychedelic therapy.