It's not cute to talk badly about ourselves. If we wouldn't tear a stranger down with really critical words, why would we do it to ourselves? In today's episode, I discuss how to stand in your greatness and stop all that negative self-talk. I haven't always been kind to myself. But when I learned that the subconscious mind's job is to make our thoughts reality, I realized I needed to be more mindful of my thoughts about myself, my business and relationships. So, listen to today's episode to hear ways that you can learn how to watch your mouth when talking to yourself.

Show Notes:

[1:00] - It's critical to tell ourselves to "watch your mouth" when we talk to ourselves.

[4:30] - Jameelah challenges us to be mindful of the adverse things we say to ourselves everyday.

[6:55] - Recounting her past negative self-talk, Jameelah reflects on how she now loves herself like she loves others.

[9:00] - Seeking great things is the purest form of God.

[11:37] - When she finds herself wanting to be negative with herself Jameelah tries to be mindful and give herself grace.

[15:00] - Sometimes we get agitated when we hear things that aren't in alignment with what we know -- or think we know our reality to be.

[17:20] - Being spiritually grounded helps Jameelah's subconscious mind and conscious mind become aligned.

[20:00] - Our subconscious mind is like a task minded employee, it just follows your directions to a T without any form of critical thinking. 

[23:11] - If there is a specific outcome you want, and it aligns with the will of God, it's going to happen.

[25:28] - Our brains are wired to operate in the past, it's a bank of memories that our mind and body uses to protect us from danger.

[28:12] - Speaking like the person you want to be and believing you deserve good things can help manifest that into reality.

[32:00] - It's not the things Jameelah has that has made her life great. It was her speaking optimistically to herself and God inserting those things into her path to give her the life she wanted.

[35:02] - Making change is going to be uncomfortable, but it's so necessary to get the life you want.

[37:03] - Jameelah reads excerpts from her journals from a time when she was full of negative self-talk.

[39:25] - God has a purpose for our lives but He's not going to take us to the next level until we've learned the lessons.

[41:55] - Jameelah reads excerpts from her journals from a time after she had started having a positive mindset.

[46:00] - Even if she's going through some tough times, Jameelah can still see God is still giving her great things.

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Welcome back to another season of the My Divine Life Podcast! It’s been a long time. About a year, actually, and a lot has happened. So in this episode, let’s get caught up.

There have been a lot of tumultuous things in my life that have caused this podcast to take a backseat. But blessings are on the horizon and my heart and God have been telling me to take this microphone back out. Over this time away, I’ve learned a lot of lessons and have a lot of things planned for its return. 

Welcome back!

[0:52] - A lot has been going on since the last season of My Divine Life. God has turned things around for me.

[1:57] - There have been some tumultuous things in my life and blessings are on the horizon.

[2:59] - Married to Real Estate premiered on HGTV and we are working on season 2. The business is doing well and I got married!

[5:50] - We are not quiet about the relationships that matter the most. So, I won’t be quiet about my relationship with God. This has become even more apparent to me and the important people in my life have been showing up.

[8:08] - I recorded a few guest interview episodes several months ago that will be posted eventually. 

[9:21] - With everything going on, I also got my real estate license!

[10:51] - My service mindset has grown and I realized that it’s okay to fill your own cup when needed but follow the drive to serve.

[12:14] - My journey is my unique journey and it is only mine.

[15:30] - When starting your Bible study journey, Start with the Gospels. When you know better, you do better.

[17:08] - When I open my mouth, I want it to be something of substance.

[19:42] - It might take a long time to find your way in spirituality. This is the experience I have had and I continue to find my way.

[27:53] - The goals for the podcast moving forward are episodes every other week as I learn to pull things off of my plate. 

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As we all continue on our divine transformation journeys, we are digging into a concept that I have been thinking about and honing in on for about a year. And as I’ve really broken it down for myself and of course compared it to interior design, it all clicked. So today’s episode is all about spending our emotions like money and I know I am guilty of overspending. 

Just like finances, we spend our emotions on relationships, social interactions, and scenarios. Eventually, you can go bankrupt and you cannot pour from an empty cup. Listen to hear an excerpt of some writing I have been doing that demonstrates my breaking point and my emotional debt. Find out how you can rebuild your emotional wealth and how to avoid people and relationships that are too expensive.

[1:04] - Jameelah’s design business has been very intentional on the type of client she attracts. They focus on value.

[2:47] - The term expensive is defined as something that has high cost or sacrifice.

[4:03] - Most of us need to be conscious of what we spend our money and our time on.

[5:05] - Jameelah gives an example of a scenario that is emotionally expensive.

[6:14] - What about being in a relationship where reciprocity is non-existent?

[7:23] - Relationships don’t need so much work and sacrifice if they value you.

[8:16] - Anyone who requires you to show up as someone other than your true authentic self is too emotionally expensive.

[9:27] - When you overspend on one relationship, the ones who really need you suffer.

[11:38] - Everyone’s mental and emotional capacity is different so don’t compare.

[12:33] - Just like finances, you can go into emotional debt.

[14:01] - There are physical and behavioral consequences to emotional deficits.

[14:49] - Jameelah shares a written excerpt from a future book she is working on.

[17:12] - The excerpt demonstrates her emotional breaking point.

[18:36] - You cannot pour from an empty cup.

[19:49] - She could have stayed because she had rebuilt her emotional wealth, but leaving her marriage made her stronger. 

[21:03] - You have to know what you are willing to spend in each relationship and scenario.

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For this week in divine transformation we are talking about self-regulation. What is it and why is it important to know how to do it? As someone with a history of high levels of anxiety and anxiety attacks, I have come to find self-regulation strategies. Most of the time, they work. And sometimes, they don’t. Recently, things got to be too much and I had to ask for help. Asking for help is crucial when you need it and what I discovered that I was doing was “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” When things are going so great, sometimes we develop anxiety while we brace ourselves for something catastrophic to take it all away. So in this episode, listen for encouragement that things are okay and there is nothing wrong with needing help.

[0:54] - We all may not have walked the same path, but Jameelah understands doubt, worry, grief, and self-sabotage.

[2:14] - Jameelah’s brother had a daughter the day after her late daughter’s birthday.

[3:06] - Everything is generally exciting right now, but self-sabotage sneaks in.

[4:28] - When things are going well, Jameelah realized she was waiting for something catastrophic to happen to wipe it all away.

[6:45] - Some hard conversations needed to happen and this showed Jameelah that she is not okay with conflict.

[7:39] - With anxiety attacks, reality has no place.

[9:28] - We don’t want to bother friends when we feel this way, but Jameelah knew she needed someone who understood what she was experiencing.

[11:02] - It is important to realize when you need support but it is more important to communicate when you do.

[12:40] - You are in a different place than you were previously. It is okay and you are prepared.

[14:10] - There is nothing wrong with asking for help.

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We always hear about the red flags and how to spot them. But what about the green flags? What about the good things? In today’s episode of divine transformation, we’re talking about the good. I have a lot of good things to share that are happening in my life and I attribute them to embracing the good in spite of the bad. If you open your eyes, God gives you a preview of what’s to come. Although this has been a year of challenges, surprises, and major life events, it has turned into the best year of my life. So listen on to find out what makes green flags unique and why they shouldn’t be ignored.

[1:11] - Jameelah announces that she is engaged and this is the best year of her life.

[2:10] - Is something happening to you or for you?

[4:10] - Lauren Wesley Designs, Jameelah’s design company, has been cast on a new HGTV show.

[6:03] - Jameelah feels equipped to embrace all the love and support from people who care about her. She feels that everything has been timely.

[7:13] - We talk about avoiding red flags, we don’t really talk about how we also ignore green flags.

[8:24] - Understanding the green flags will help you have a balance of positive and negative. What are the good things?

[9:50] - Even if someone doesn’t check off all the boxes, how many green flags do you see in a relationship?

[10:48] - Listening is a lost art for many people. Truly listen.

[12:31] - Jameelah compares green and red flags in relationships to those in interior design.

[14:24] - Are you immediately jumping into something and picking the other person apart?

[16:10] - Give things some time. Listen and get to know somebody.

[17:50] - Look closely, ask questions, and be transparent about your situation.

[19:11] - The first green flag Jameelah had about her fiance is that he welcomed her into his life fully.

[20:20] - Jameelah never feels like she has to prove herself.

[22:05] - Another green flag was the environment of acceptance and trust.

[23:28] - Once you realize you don’t need fillers and that you are amazing just the way you are, you will go farther in life.

[24:51] - Are you able to embrace the good?

[26:14] - Support and understanding in a partner is a game changer for Jameelah after leaving her previous marriage.

[27:51] - Jameelah knew she could try to salvage her marriage but just because she could doesn’t mean she should. She decided to leave and follow her intuition.

[30:50] - If you open your eyes, God will give you a little preview of what is coming.

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In today’s straight to the point episode, we’re talking about shopping around. In design, I tend to go to my trusted vendors. But when I first got started, I looked all over trying to find the perfect piece. Honestly, all that did was create confusion, waste my time, and waste money. This is the same when it comes to big decisions in life. When we are faced with a decision, we often know what our intuition is telling us. But instead of listening, we “shop around.” That means, we talk it over so many times to so many different people to see what they think. This just wastes time. So, listen to this quick tidbit on what shopping your dream around can do and what you should do instead.

[1:06] - In interior design, Jameelah goes to her trusted vendors but when she first started, she would go all over looking for different options.

[2:15] - When you’re faced with a decision, we shop our dream around and take it to a lot of people to see if they approve. It wastes time.

[3:13] - Jameelah admits that sometimes she cares too much about what people think.

[4:10] - Shopping around creates confusion. Follow your intuition.

[5:40] - The only one you need to consult with is God.

[6:18] - Only you can live your life.

[7:15] - Don’t put your big decisions on other people.

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As an interior designer, one of my all-time favorite rooms to design is the guest room. I have many reasons why, but the main one is that clients want designs that are a little different for the guest room than the other more frequently used spaces and that’s just plain fun. But when we compare the guest room design to soul design, there’s a deeper meaning. 

When it comes to soul design, the guest room is the space you have for others and their opinions. We want to be accommodating and comfortable but at what cost? We don’t want everyone overstaying their welcome or treating us like a hotel. In this episode, I explain how the guest room needs boundaries and how sometimes the need to reevaluate existing boundaries will arise. 

[0:45] - Being comfortable in your body is an amazing form of freedom.

[1:54] - The messages you get from the people around you have an impact on your self- esteem.

[3:11] - Frequently used rooms have specific needs. But the guest room is a room where you can design a little more “off the wall.”

[4:16] - Many of Jameelah’s clients are the first in their families to have achieved the level of success to afford her services.

[5:24] - You can make your guest room as a hotel, but think about how people treat hotels. Jameelah advises not to make people too comfortable.

[7:00] - Guest rooms should be comfortable and accommodating, but you don’t want people to stay too long.

[8:15] - If you feel that you can’t be yourself, you need to reevaluate your boundaries.

[9:40] - Jameelah explains how being too trusting during a difficult time caused her to reevaluate her boundaries and those in her circle.

[10:51] - Not everyone deserves the same boundaries.

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Water Into Wine

On this week’s episode of divine transformation, we’re taking inventory of what we already have and turning it into wine. So often, we want new things to help us get to the next level. We are waiting till something happens before we take the next step. What will happen then is that we’ll get stuck waiting. As always, my interior design analogy works perfectly with this concept as we take inventory of what we already have to better design our own souls. Listen on to find out my tips on making do with what you have, thanking the things that are no longer serving you or bringing your joy, and leveling up. You, too, can live a very fulfilled life.

[1:01] - Jameelah is currently very fulfilled in her life at the moment and wants to guide us to feel the same.

[1:46] - In interior design, Jameelah takes inventory with clients during a consultation.

[2:49] - When talking about soul design, make sure you are not selling yourself short.

[4:01] - Jameelah’s design company in the beginning was known to “turn water into wine,” by working miracles with small budgets and building their portfolio.

[4:56] - Everything you have right now is enough to take the next step.

[6:11] - Prioritize and plan ahead to avoid being wasteful and risking heartache.

[7:27] - Not only do you have enough but you need to realize that you are enough.

[8:43] - Jameelah admits that at the beginning of her business, she did not feel like she was enough to be the face of her brand.

[10:08] - Take inventory of what you already have and analyze its usefulness.

[11:19] - Don’t hold on to things you don’t love just because you spent money on it.

[12:19] - How far can you go with what you already have?

[13:47] - Being authentic means to live your truth and not cover it up.

[15:05] - Jameelah shares a Bible scripture that has stuck with her through the years.

Links and Resources:

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Let’s get started with a bang. After the previous episode, we know that I’ve been on quite the journey recently. How have I been able to keep it together? Over the years, I’ve developed my own personal healing toolkit, and I attribute a lot of my growth to doing these specific things. Remember that at the My Divine Life Podcast, we empower ourselves with enough courage to divinely design every aspect of our lives the way God purposed it to be. Through the years of developing this toolkit, God has helped me design tools for reflection, education, and purpose. This is “interior design” like you’ve never heard of: soul design.

Listen on to find out about the healing toolkit and how powerful it can be.

[1:09] - For this podcast, “interior design” really means “soul design.”

[2:53] - The first thing that comes to your mind is what you really want.

[4:06] - Push aside what others might think because people will never be satisfied.

[5:04] - At the end of the day, this is your life to live. Stick by your decisions.

[6:24] - Jameelah was a hairstylist for 15 years and admits that it was no longer serving her and lighting her up.

[7:48] - Start with a brain dump activity. Write down or type up on your phone everything you can think of when you ask yourself “What do I want?”

[9:00] - When you write down the people who are your anchors, who are the people you hesitate to write down?

[10:22] - Jameelah compares interior design to life design.

[12:11] - On her journey, Jameelah has developed a toolkit to help her get through the hard things.

[13:09] - The first thing in Jameelah’s toolkit is listening to podcasts.

[15:46] - Jameelah is an auditory learner so podcasts and audiobooks are great for her.

[16:24] - One of the podcasts Jameelah recommends that helped her is Patrice Washington’s Redefining Wealth Podcast.

[18:41] - Jameelah also recommends Woman Evolve. This podcast gave her a feeling of sisterhood.

[21:13] - A pivotal podcast for Jameelah regarding marriage and couples has been Dead Ass with Khadeen and Devale.

[23:10] - The fourth podcast that Jameelah recommends is The Love Hour.

[24:33] - Therapy for Black Girls is another highly recommended podcast.

Welcome to Season 3 of the My Divine Life Podcast! I am so glad to have you here with me today for this return for a better than ever season. One thing that has not changed is that we empower ourselves with enough courage to divinely design every aspect of our lives the way that God purposed it to be. 

It has been a while since Season 2 ended abruptly and if you’ve been following on social media, you’ll know why. Through the ups and downs of the last several months, I’m ready to share my truth and move forward with the amazing community of friends, family, followers, and listeners. Thank you for being here and let’s get started!

[0:52] - Jameelah has encountered big shifts in her life starting in February of this year.

[2:03] - Having met siblings she did not know she had, Jameelah knows she has needed them in her life.

[3:15] - She describes her fear of moving forward with a divorce and the courage she needed to do so.

[5:25] - When you’re making a big decision and it is scary, you have to move. If you allow idle time, you will allow others to impact your decision.

[7:01] - When we share our story, it helps the next person.

[8:13] - There are not always a lot of resources readily available to navigate through the death of a marriage.

[9:29] - Although it was hard, Jameelah is proud of her decision to leave.

[11:01] - The goal of this podcast moving forward is to provide tools.

[11:56] - Season 3 will bring us back to the CASE method.

[14:34] - Thank you for rallying behind Jameelah during this challenging time.

[15:07] - Jameelah dedicates this episode and her transformation to her mother.

[16:44] - Jameelah reads a letter that she wrote to her mother.

[18:45] - Although currently happily living her life, Jameelah does take time to reflect on the difficulty of the last few months.

[19:58] - Jameelah thanks the people in her life that have helped her through challenges.

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