TW: Suicide, SA, abuse.

3 years ago, on March 17th, 2020, I was forcefully admitted to a mental hospital. I know the word "forceful" seems harsh but I include it to capture the reality of what happened and the depth of what I felt both then in the moment and presently.

In this episode I recall details of my institutionalization, a bit of background on why I was sent, and some of the things I learned while there. Honestly, I came very close to not releasing this episode. It took a few days to edit because I had to keep taking breaks when it got too uncomfortable to remember. Even filming this was tough, but I felt it was important to get my story out there. My hope in sharing these details is to resonate with or comfort someone who may not know what to do with the negative emotions they still feel after an event.

Although I find it hard to forgive what happened there, I will forever be grateful for the moments of empathy and humanity that I was shown. If you take anything from this episode let it be these two things:

1. Healing is a process and there is beauty in recognizing that you are still angry or hurt, and not to feel ashamed as you navigate figuring out how to let things go.

2. There can never be too much kindness in this world. Taking 5 minutes to listen to someone when they need a moment of calmness can be life changing. Try to be the soft spot, the humanity, or the warmth in someones day.

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