Happy Holidays! To celebrate, we're giving you a gift that keeps on giving, whether you like it or not. While a tad out of character from our usual content, this cackle-filled reading of one of the internets most notorious "fan fictions" should delight all fans of the pod!

If you were an emo tween in the 2000s with a love for the Harry Potter series, you've likely heard of this notorious fanfic. Written by a (seemingly partially-literate) teenage author, "My Immortal" borrows all of your favorite characters from the 'Potterverse' and transforms them into gothic teenage outcasts. The singular original character in this piece, Ebony Dementia Raven Way, is the quintessential goth/emo/scene girl who serves as an obvious avatar for the angsty author. She's a vampire witch-in-training whose love of early 2000s emo-rock is nearly as great as her love for a certain troubled Slytherin student.

When Ebony's romance with fellow Hogwarts alum Draco Malfoy is challenged by an old flame, all hell breaks loose at the wizarding school. A familiar classmate nicknamed "Vampire" (formerly known as Harry Potter) enters Ebony's life and inadvertently sends her down a path of heartbreak and dark arts. Chaos only amplifies when the Dark Lord Voldemort tasks young Ebony with an impossible demand... MURDER!

Can our protagonist navigate a minefield of furious professors perverted suitors, or will the forces of evil - and unreadable prose - conquer all?

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