Happy Holidays! To celebrate, we're giving you a gift that keeps on giving, whether you like it or not. While a tad out of character from our usual content, this cackle-filled reading of one of the internets most notorious "fan fictions" should delight all fans of the pod!

If you were an emo tween in the 2000s with a love for the Harry Potter series, you've likely heard of this notorious fanfic. Written by a (seemingly partially-literate) teenage author, "My Immortal" borrows all of your favorite characters from the 'Potterverse' and transforms them into gothic teenage outcasts. The singular original character in this piece, Ebony Dementia Raven Way, is the quintessential goth/emo/scene girl who serves as an obvious avatar for the angsty author. She's a vampire witch-in-training whose love of early 2000s emo-rock is nearly as great as her love for a certain troubled Slytherin student.

When Ebony's romance with fellow Hogwarts alum Draco Malfoy is challenged by an old flame, all hell breaks loose at the wizarding school. A familiar classmate nicknamed "Vampire" (formerly known as Harry Potter) enters Ebony's life and inadvertently sends her down a path of heartbreak and dark arts. Chaos only amplifies when the Dark Lord Voldemort tasks young Ebony with an impossible demand... MURDER!

Can our protagonist navigate a minefield of furious professors perverted suitors, or will the forces of evil - and unreadable prose - conquer all?

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After a horrifying election season, we invite you to join us as we distract ourselves with horrors that dwell far beyond the halls of power! 

The Appalachian Mountains are some of the oldest mountains on Earth. For centuries they have enchanted all those who have settled in the shadow of their towering peaks. Native Americans and European settlers alike had found profound beauty in the region we call "APPALACHIA".

Alongside the natural splendor, a mysterious energy also inhabits the vast forests and abandoned mines. The locals have known it by many names: ghosts, faeries, monsters, etc. To cope with the seemingly haunted world around them, the mountain folk developed a set of rules for survival. Some of these superstitions include:

- Never whistle at night.

- If a familiar voice calls to you in the woods, do NOT answer it.

- When visiting a home, always exit through the door you entered.

What is it about Appalachia that has inspired so many legends and superstitions? Join us as we examine the history and culture of this paranormal hotspot!

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Kill me once, shame on me. Kill me twice... that's a "posthumous execution"!

We're back with yet another bizarre history lesson. This episode covers a grim ritual practiced by our twisted forefathers. In previous episodes we've discussed public executions - a disturbing tradition that combined capital punishment with live entertainment. For centuries, executions were performed before captivated crowds to remind the masses that crime never pays. But what if one execution wasn't enough?  

Join us as we investigate the gruesome history of posthumous executions and the poor souls who were unlucky enough to die twice!

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Where my witches at??

We're back with another bizarre history lesson. This episode covers a broad topic that we will undoubtedly return to in the future - WITCHCRAFT! It ain't all broomsticks and cauldrons, ya know.

Join us as we discuss the underrated weirdness of Scandinavian witchcraft, then explore the long and treacherous road that lead to the bloody witch trails of post-medieval Europe! Grab your pitchforks and torture manuals, its gonna be a bumpy ride... 

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This is one spooky ship.

Join us as we set sail into the dark waters of history! We'll be chronicling the fascinating story of a high class ocean liner turned haunted warship. Now moored in Long Beach Harbor, the RMS Queen Mary serves as a hotel and event center. While grand and elegant in appearance, the nautical titan has checkered past filled with conflict and bloodshed.

Today the Queen Mary offers lodging and fine dining, but the ship hosts a crew of bothersome ghosts just below deck! It might just be the most haunted ship in the world...

Is there any truth to its haunted legacy? Come aboard and find out...

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Want in on the fun? Email us your questions and topics to [email protected] and we'll TALK ABOUT THEM IN A FUTURE EPISODE! Email not your thing? Message us on social media, or RT us @IdiotsAccord. 

(Intro/Outro music by Visager) 

SEE YOU IN TIME!

Ho ho ho! Happy Solstice!

We're throwin’ back the egg nog and getting in the holiday spirit to tell you the TRUE story of Christmas! That’s right, it ain’t just a bunch of gingerbread men and reindeer - Xmas has a far stranger origin. 

Join us as we look at the ancient festival of Yule, the true inspiration for Christmas. Along the way we’ll uncover the reason for the season as well as bizarre holiday customs from across the globe!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

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Thanks for listening! We are now available wherever you listen to podcasts! If you enjoyed this, be sure to stay in the loop by following us on Twitter, Instagram, and Youtube. And don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes! 

Want in on the fun? Email us your questions and topics to [email protected] and we'll TALK ABOUT THEM IN A FUTURE EPISODE! Email not your thing? Message us on social media, or RT us @IdiotsAccord. 

(Intro/Outro music by Visager) 

SEE YOU IN TIME!

Alchemy: the ultimate life hack.

Want infinite wealth and immortality? Stop wasting money on savings accounts and lousy vitamins. It's time for you to harness the mysterious power of Alchemy! Join us as we take a trip back in time to unearth the strange origins of alchemy and its ties to the occult. 

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Need a lift?

We're hitting the road to investigate the legend of the Vanishing Hitchhiker! We've all heard the old tale of a weary motorist giving aid to a stranded stranger on the side of dark road. 

In these twice-told legends, the driver offers the hitchhiker a ride home... only for the strange passenger to VANISH before arriving at their destination - which is often revealed to be a long-abandoned home or spooky graveyard. This story is nothing new. Long before our modern era of automobiles, travelers on horseback have crossed paths with lost souls in need of transportation. 

Is there any truth to this urban legend? Buckle up and find out...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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Thanks for listening! We are now available wherever you listen to podcasts! If you enjoyed this, be sure to stay in the loop by following us on Twitter, Instagram, and Youtube. And don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes! 

Want in on the fun? Email us your questions and topics to [email protected] and we'll TALK ABOUT THEM IN A FUTURE EPISODE! Email not your thing? Message us on social media, or RT us @IdiotsAccord. 

(Intro/Outro music by Visager) 

SEE YOU IN TIME!

Please enjoy this FREE episode from our Patreon Exclusive series "Creepypasta", where we read and discuss your favorite internet-born horror stories! If you've spent any time on the worldwide web, you've likely encountered Creepypasta.

Emerging in the late 1990s, the world was first introduced to the genre when text from horror-themed email chains were reposted to internet forums. The movement quickly grew, spawning a new era of urban legends!

This episode tells the popular story of "Jeff the Killer", a homicidal maniac whose ghoulish image has haunted the internet for over a decade. As we quickly discovered after reopening this viral classic, not all creepypasta's have aged gracefully. This was a blast to record.

For more Creepypasta stories, join the Patreon gang and get access to a treasure trove of exclusive content! We'll see you on the other side...

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We're back with an EXTRA close encounter of the Third Kind!

...

In 1957, Brazilian farmer Antonio Vilas-Boas was plucked from his tractor and brought aboard an alien spacecraft. Unlike other tales of alien contact, Antonio's account centers around an experiment in hybrid breeding. You know what they say: one man's traumatic event is another man's x-rated Star Trek fanfiction. 

Join us as we dig through the salacious details of a benchmark alien abduction story. Was Antonio's experience an exotic fantasy or otherworldly nightmare? You be the judge!

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