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Were certain Black American idiosyncrasies actually planted by nefarious forces? Langston and David sit down in the new, permanent home of My Momma Told Me to answer listener voicemails, including one about how some Black customs (e.g. eating steak well-done) may not be authentic at all.
0:00 Cold open: The radio
4:46 A very new studio intro
10:27 Addressing the Filipino allegations
16:36 Adding a soundtrack to your life
27:30 Parenting a light-skinned child
34:08 Loving bad people (at the concert)
46:27 Voicemail 1: Well-done steak was popularized to deprive Black folks
57:15 Voicemail 2: Megan Thee Stallion has a ghostwriter
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Is the government using Black social media users to study human behavior? Langston and David are joined by journalist-presenter Nina Parker to discuss how modern tech could be insidiously exploiting the Black community. Then, they answer a voicemail about the location of Dr. Umar’s charter school.
0:00 Prolapse cold open
8:58 A very weapons intro
17:24 Conspiracy: They never stopped experimenting on Black people
33:21 Content creation = drug dealing?
43:52 Newspapers, novels, smut
52:34 Internet posturing
58:04 Skincare for men
1:03:12 Voicemail: Dr. Umar’s school is in Delaware
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Will eating the chalaza of an egg give you salmonella? Langston and David are joined by comedian-actress Zainab Johnson to question if we shouldn’t be eating the white film on egg yolks. Then, they answer a voicemail about NBA megastar Stephen Curry.
0:00 Cold open: Extraordinary genitals
6:45 A very The-Dream intro
13:01 Michael Jackson’s vulnerability in ‘Will You Be There’
22:15 Katt Williams anecdote
26:52 Conspiracy: Never eat the chalaza of an egg
37:47 Unironically wearing Kangol hats
47:02 Talent vs. decency
52:42 Voicemail: Steph Curry uplifts white hoopers
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How many people are deceitfully claiming autism or ADHD to explain away bad behavior? Langston and David answer three listener voicemails, including one positing that self-diagnosed neurodivergence has gone too far.
0:00 A very low and sultry intro
3:46 Getting recognized in public
6:08 Boosie BadAzz got scammed
19:00 Fighting in prison
26:34 Voicemail 1: Langston’s secret…?
28:28 Voicemail 2: Light-eyed bigotry
32:35 Voicemail 3: The spectrum ain’t spectrum-ing
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Does a man’s choice of facial hair expose his personality? Langston and David sit down to answer a handful of voicemails, including one about how men choose to adorn their faces betray the content of their souls.
0:00 Intro: Jamaican patois teacher
16:13 Voicemail 1: Cannibalism FIFA
21:25 Voicemail 2: Black people are not Native Americans
27:05 The biracial experience, revisited
34:30 Voicemail 3: Stripper names could be nicknames
42:01 Voicemail 4: Men’s facial hair reveal their character
50:06 Voicemail 5: Sucking on breasts enlarges them
55:05 Other mammals’ genitals
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Are people with dwarfism being harmed for the sake of advancing cosmetic surgeries? Langston and David are joined by actor-comedian Denny Love to discuss truly one of the craziest theories ever put forth in the history of this podcast.
0:00 Cold Open: Black Happy Birthday
4:12 Almost soiling your pants
12:11 Yelling out of the car
18:29 Intro: Soundboard shenanigans
24:48 Conspiracy theory: Little people are being targetted for BBL research
43:43 Is this theory…hate speech?
50:19 What the “research” says
57:52 Nicknames, reprised
1:01:35 Voicemail: Yung Miami is kid-maxxing
1:05:43 Bathroom emergencies, revisited
Check out Langston’s mom’s Etsy store:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/MamaGiasStuff
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Is the government dangling confirmation of human contact with aliens to divert our attention from more pressing matters? Langston and David are joined by actor Malcolm Barrett to discuss how convenient the timing of alien news is for those in power as well as the possibility of extraterrestrial life at large.
0:00 Cold open: The lore of Yakub
2:59 Have you ever been dunked on?
6:38 The art of the scam
9:38 Intro: The term “wifey”
21:30 Pop-a-shot at home
28:31 David is anti-whimsy
40:18 Conspiracy theory: They’re trying to distract us with aliens
48:01 Coolest American presidents
56:52 Would aliens even want to meet us?
1:01:45 Asian people with non-American accents
1:07:57 Are we too free here?
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Is there something deeper and darker behind the way some white folks relate with animals? Langston and David sit down to respond to listeners’ voicemails and emails, including one about the power dynamics between white people and their pets.
0:00 Avatar is mid
4:34 Doing bits with loved ones
9:39 Langston acquires a new nickname!
13:11 Voicemail 1: The Love Island men receive help
21:35 Voicemail 2: Investi-gay-tion
40:39 Email: White people and their pets
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Was the panic around lettuce-related explosive diarrhea fomented to make us turn on immigrant farmers? Langston and David are joined by actor/comedian Orlando Jones to answer four (4) voicemails sent in by the Lil’ Mommas, including one about the recent iceberg lettuce scare.
0:00 Intro: Bad slave dealerships
9:08 Autobiographies
16:14 Good Black stereotypes and demon possession
25:32 Voicemail 1: Biracial eugenics
35:02 Voicemail 2: Langston’s idiosyncratic noises
37:46 Voicemail 3: Don’t trust school tests
50:42 Voicemail 4: Is the lettuce-diarrhea parasite for real?
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Are they leading our species to extinction because we’re having too much fun? Langston and David sit down with the ageless Mariah Smith to discuss the end of the world as we know it and how to cope with that.
0:00 Cold open: Sports vs theater
3:22 Intro: Aspirations and checkpoints
11:01 How old is Mariah?
15:20 Conspiracy: They want the planet to die
21:53 Mariah’s favorite is…Ed Sheeran?
31:10 Getting cryogenically frozen
38:45 How long do we have as a species?
42:38 (Hypothetical) deceitfulness as a way of life
49:38 Voicemail: Civilization dies in comfort
55:23 Compulsive lying for sport, reprised
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