Langston and David are joined by former UCLA basketball player, NBA Twitter meme king, and podcast host Josiah Johnson. They talk about the 1985 first official draft lottery. Was it rigged or not? And we learn that the 2009 Western Conference Finals were the greatest time of David’s life. The Nuggets were fun during that time, Barack Obama was president, and Michael Jackson just passed: the holy trinity for David's comedy career. Plus, a hot take, they definitely stole some of Jackie Chan's moves for Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible. 

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Legendary stand-up comedian Ali Siddiq arrives with a first hand lesson on the history of hip-hop, asking the most important questions like: why is the south still getting disrespected, why haven't we seen Tyreese Gibson with hair, when will the US government suspend Juvenille's taxes and show that man some appreciation for his services? Plus, is fighting embarrassing? Why do parents want to talk through the spanking? Whose COVID was most valid? And a caller wonders if the devil made women. 

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LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX

DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON

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MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/

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The hilarious Dulce Sloan returns to the pod and brings the boiling, flavorless conspiracy theory that white people can't cook. That crockpot lifestyle is just begging for salmonella soup. Langston and David exalt the brilliance of mathematician Terrance Howard, clown Dulce for trying to pick up a guy in the hallway, and one brave caller asks the question we've all been asking, "What color was Michael Jackson's penis?" 

CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667

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LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX

DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON

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MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/

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Langston and David open up with updates: Gborie's latest purchase, Mexican markets selling African goods, Langston disowning his last name...the episode zigs and zags, just keep up Lil' Mommas! They make a declarative statement that sheds light on the spectacle/illness that has fallen on America: Love Island. Lastly, the guys answer listener voicemails about burnt hotdogs, hairy nether regions, ICE, and light-to-dark skin gradient scale.

SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: [email protected]

LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667)

LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX

DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON

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Gary Anthony Williams, the voice of Uncle Ruckus dooesn't believe in conspiracy theories, but he does believe in witches. In this episode, he discusses the connection between rappers and the pink mafia, what it's like to have dinner with Erykah Badu, the one piece of advice he got from Billy Dee Williams, and his forthcoming novel 'What I Learned Drinking with White Women'. David and Langston share their fear of running out of sex. More white women should sing like they're running out of breath. Shout out, Alanis Morissette.

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Langston and David discuss whether white people listen to flat back music or do Black people just like the music they don’t like? They also answer a voicemail about how unattractive white women are dangerous.

SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: [email protected]

LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667)

LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX

DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/

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Is throwing away a plastic bag anti-Black? How many platic's bag worth of plastic bags should a person keep in their home? Comedian Clark Jones guides us on a toray into the shady side of porn sites with his conspiracy that PornHub takes photos of users while they scroll. Is there a database of o-faces? Is Fat Joe a better podcaster than he is a rapper? We ponder these deep questions, plus Langston gives us a proper definition of gooning, and David regales us with his harrowing tales on BART. In this house, we respect our laptops. 

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Langston and David answer a listener's voicemail about finding human DNA in packaged hotdogs. Plus, can we give props to Ja Rule? 

CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667

SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: [email protected]

LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX

DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg

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MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/

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Our first triple appearance, comedian Yassir Lester, makes his triumphant return to My Momma Told Me. He brought not one but two incredible conspiracies. Can dogs sense racism? Is Trump trying to segregate the school? Plus, what do we all have in common with Lil Rel? Should you marry a throat goat? Is a white pittbull owner the closest to a Black person? David tells us about his miracle hair-growing cat, and Langston describes hell as Jingle Bell Rock. 

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Are pigeons surveillance cameras? Langston and David sit in studio with SushiboyMEXICO (Denial Is A River Show) about this intriguing conspiracy theory. Are pigeons just out there spying on our whereabouts? Are their insides just a bunch of wires and chips? Where are the baby pigeons? We ask more questions about this bird and how it has shown up in many parts of the media (we're looking at you, Hey Arnold!). Plus, more discussions of robot p*ssies occur in this episode.

CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667

SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: [email protected]

LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX

DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg

TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en

MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/

FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman

FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.