Is throwing away a plastic bag anti-Black? How many platic's bag worth of plastic bags should a person keep in their home? Comedian Clark Jones guides us on a toray into the shady side of porn sites with his conspiracy that PornHub takes photos of users while they scroll. Is there a database of o-faces? Is Fat Joe a better podcaster than he is a rapper? We ponder these deep questions, plus Langston gives us a proper definition of gooning, and David regales us with his harrowing tales on BART. In this house, we respect our laptops. 

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Langston and David answer a listener's voicemail about finding human DNA in packaged hotdogs. Plus, can we give props to Ja Rule? 

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LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX

DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON

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Our first triple appearance, comedian Yassir Lester, makes his triumphant return to My Momma Told Me. He brought not one but two incredible conspiracies. Can dogs sense racism? Is Trump trying to segregate the school? Plus, what do we all have in common with Lil Rel? Should you marry a throat goat? Is a white pittbull owner the closest to a Black person? David tells us about his miracle hair-growing cat, and Langston describes hell as Jingle Bell Rock. 

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Are pigeons surveillance cameras? Langston and David sit in studio with SushiboyMEXICO (Denial Is A River Show) about this intriguing conspiracy theory. Are pigeons just out there spying on our whereabouts? Are their insides just a bunch of wires and chips? Where are the baby pigeons? We ask more questions about this bird and how it has shown up in many parts of the media (we're looking at you, Hey Arnold!). Plus, more discussions of robot p*ssies occur in this episode.

CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667

SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: [email protected]

LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX

DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON

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Comedian Keon Polee had a conspiracy theory, but damnit we're not going to let that get in the way of a good conversation. Keon had us asking the big questions: Whose fault is it if the baby turns out subpar? How do you know if your nut is trash? Did white people ruin accents? Langston's never written a funny poem, and David is just trying to have fun with his wife. We get nostalgic for 90s stunt comedy. Bring dummies back! Plus, we take a call from a super tall caller. 

CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667

SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: [email protected]

LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX

DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/

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Shapel Lacey stuck around to take a voicemail, and wow, is it crazy. A two-parter; our mystery caller asks us to do a dramatic reading of Kevin Durant's viral BlackPlanet page and to explore what a hotep church could look like in the right hands. 

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Comedian Shapel Lacey brings a doozy of a conspiracy to Langston and David. Did Sony kill Michael Jackson? We all pray differently, and yes, we are the heroes of this story. One thing we know for sure, Africa won't get its due until we make new maps. Should we have empathy for Joe Jackson? The entire Jackson family? Even Jermain? Really?? Jermain!? We know Michael was competitive, but how far is too far? Join us as we try to figure out which line in Bad was meant to cut deepest. 

CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667

SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: [email protected]

LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX

DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg

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MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/

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Does eating black-eyed peas on New Year's Eve bring you good fortune? Langston and David welcome drag superstar Monét X Change (Winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars S4) to discuss this very popular superstition. Why do we cook these legumes? Does this tradition bring good fortune? Also, is a tomato a berry? Of course, we dive into the history of this conspiracy and learn a lot of things along the way: Britney Spears' reggae jam, how to properly eat mangoes, and more importantly...that we're all lucky to be at a Cheesecake Factory. 

CALL US & LEAVE A MESSAGE! 844-LIL-MOMS aka 844-545-6667

SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: [email protected]

LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX

DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg

TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en

MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/

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FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87

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Can a snake come up the toilet and bite you? Langston and David discuss this disturbing conspiracy theory from a listener's emails. Why do snakes want to bite your genitals? Is this a common incident? Why are Lil' Mommas hitting on David thru DMs? They discuss Paul Pierce's rock bottom and accidentally sh*tting their pants at a Safeway. This might be the grossest episode to date on MMTM, but we already know you're listening to this podcast in the bathroom.

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Bye, bitch!

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Is Santa an elf, and if he's not, is he getting freaky with an elf Ms. Claus? Could Kwanzaa work if it weren't competing with Christmas? Why are there two movies called Jack Frost? Would Santa spit in your eye? David and Legston dive deep into your holiday conspiracies.

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