My night in a Lesbian Bar…

Los Angeles is a city full of diversity, which is one of the reasons why I love it. On any given day you could have Ethiopian food for lunch, go see a foreign film in the afternoon, take a Zumba class before you head out to a Persian restaurant dinner, only to end up at any number of nightclubs that LA has to offer: rocker bars, hipster bars, gay bars… well, you get the picture.

One night, I was out at an event at the House of Blues on Sunset Boulevard (which sadly, is no longer there).  An exceptionally thin, sickly looking man came up to me and hugged me as if he knew me. I pulled back and looked at him in shock. Then, I think my jaw dropped to the floor, as I suddenly recognized him to be one of my ex-boyfriends.  My ex-boyfriend my friends had dubbed with the nickname Bad-Steven, because, well, he was kind of a bad boy. When I had known Bad-Steven, he was a good-looking, fit, surfer type of a guy. The man who stood before me looked so frail, the first thought that came into my mind was, oh no, he has AIDS.  I think he could tell by the look on my face that I noticed his dramatic change in appearance, and he went on to tell me that he was ‘recovering’ from stage 5 testicular cancer.  My heart melted at that moment for him, we caught up, and I reassured him that he would be okay before I left the event and headed home.

Life altering moments like this remind us of the true fragility of life, and what a gift life is, one never to be taken for granted. After running into him, Bad-Steven was on my mind over the next few days. I was somewhat haunted by our brief encounter, and hoped he would recover.  A week later, I was watching the Lakers game with my friend Pete at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants, El Torito Cantina. When the game was almost over, my phone rang, and I saw Bad-Steven’s name come across my caller ID.  I picked it up, happy to hear from him.

He told me that it was nice seeing me again and that I had boosted his spirits and he wondered if I would meet up with him for a drink at the end of the game.  I told him I was with Pete, and that we would come and meet him.  He said he wanted to go somewhere near his home, and he chose a club in walking distance from his house.

Pete was not impressed, as he was not a fan of Bad-Steven’s, but as I explained to Pete that Bad-Steven’s chance of survival wasn’t great, so we really needed to go out of our way to try and cheer him up.

Yeah, Janell, so what does this have to do with a Lesbian Bar? Hold on, I’m getting to that, I just need to set the stage so you understand the whole picture.

Enter… the Bar….

Pete and I found street parking and walked up to the bar Bad-Steven had chosen. It was a Wednesday night, so I didn’t anticipate any ‘doorman issues’ or ‘list’ issues when we arrived, and it was still on the early side in terms of ‘club-bar action’. The doorman looked at us, and I smiled at him, and he said: “are you both sensitive to women’s issues?” Okay, I have been asked for my ID, or if I am on the list, but I have never been asked such a bizarre question from a doorman. Pete and I were puzzled, but said we were, shaking our heads as we entered.

When we walked into the club and looked around, I started to notice that the only patrons in sight were… women.  I looked at Pete and I said: “Pete, I think it’s Lesbian night, look around, I think we are in a Lesbian bar, maybe we should leave?” Pete, on the other hand, was excited at the prospect. Just then, in walked Bad-Steven.  I quickly explained to him that we had crashed Lesbian night at the Bar, and his reaction was ‘Oh Lesbian Night, GREAT!’

Alone, in the Lesbian Club…

Okay, so Pete took off in one direction, and Bad-Steven the other.  I hung out at the bar by myself, until I got a glimpse of Pete chatting up some girl. I went up to him, and pulled him aside for a second, querying him as to why he had abandoned me. He was like “you are ruining my game.”  I was stunned and said, “Game, wh