Quick Note: we talk a little more explicitly about pedophilia and grooming in this episode, and felt like it couldn’t hurt to give a little content warning.


Nat shares their tips for spicing things up in the bedroom, Jacob searches tirelessly for a photograph of his adult sister, Lida gives the world’s worst art history lesson, and Jessica and Mike get to first base!!!!!!!!

The doctor professor says you should read chapters 16 and 17.

You can follow us on Instagram at @myownpersonalbrandofheroine.


Theme song by Freddie Bayne and molly Kirschenbaum, additional sound editing by Freddie Bayne 

Lida emits a noise unfit for human ears, Nat makes a long-term enemy of the Mormon church, Edward has a delicious little snack, and no one in this book has any concept of boundaries.

Your (optional) homework is to read chapters 14 and 15.

Follow us on Instagram: @myownpersonalbrandofheroine. And maybe listen to the playlist we made: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ohtPX9QEauAoMa8fnfUlV?si=3422c5f506f64f6c


Theme song by Freddie Bayne and Molly Kirschenbaum, additional sound editing by Freddie Bayne 

Stephanie Meyer invents a new type of shirt for a very special purpose, Edward and Alice enjoy a picnic, Nat and Lida get down in the weeds of intimacy choreo, and the lion finally falls in love with the lamb

In this one, we read chapters 12 and 13...for our jobs.


Theme song by Freddie Bayne and Molly Kirschenbaum, additional sound editing by Freddie Bayne 

Follow us on Instagram - @myownpersonalbrandofheroine

Edward is always hard, Lida heals from a milk induced trauma, Nat isn't feeling this one, and Matt plays some badminton.
 
If you're studying for the test, we read chapters 10 and 11.




Theme song by Freddie Bayne and Molly Kirschenbaum, additional sound editing by Freddie Bayne.

Edward knows his hands are disgusting, Nat and Lida have an expansive animal vocabulary, Jessica purchases a really nice electric blue number, and Bella and Robert Pattinson share an appreciation for Italian food.

Also, we read chapters 8 and 9...

Article quoted in this episode:
Robert Pattinson: A Dispatch From Isolation by Zach Baron: https://www.gq.com/story/robert-pattinson-on-batman-tenet-isolation-june-cover


Theme song by Freddie Bayne and Molly Kirschenbaum, additional sound editing by Freddie Bayne 

Nat experiences a haunting, Lauren might know more than she lets on, Bella spends an inordinate amount of time struggling with a dial-up connection, and Lida considers the ethics of providing unlicensed therapy to a fictional character.

For the scholars out there, this episode focuses on chapters 6 and 7.

References from the Episode: 

History from the Quileute Nation’s website: https://quileutenation.org/history/

Sucking the Quileute Dry by Angela R. Riley: https://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/08/opinion/08riley.html

The Twilight Saga’s Issue with Indigenous Culture by Shea Vassar: https://filmdaze.net/twilight-sagas-issue-with-indigenous-culture/

As a Native Actor, I Applaud Those Who Walked off the Set of Adam Sandler‘s Racist Movie by Tyson Houseman: https://www.vice.com/en/article/kwkkzy/as-a-native-actor-i-applaud-those-who-walked-off-the-set-of-adam-sandlers-racist-movie-971

The Truth Versus Twilight by Dr. Deana Dartt-Newton and Tasia Endo, and a collaboration between the Burke Museum and the Quileute Tribe: https://www.burkemuseum.org/static/truth_vs_twilight/

Theme song by Freddie Bayne and Molly Kirschenbaum, additional sound editing by Freddie Bayne 

Nat aces a Buzzfeed quiz, Mike is man of simple tastes (and unsimple spikes), Lida’s dreams get extremely crowded, and Edward endures a fate worse than death.

If you have a PhD, you might be interested to know that in this episode we read chapters 4 and 5.


Theme song by Freddie Bayne and Molly Kirschenbaum. Additional editing by Freddie Bayne

Nat and Lida plan a lawsuit, Charlie Swan has a thing for doctors, Bella literally almost dies, and Edward's got the giggles. 

For all our bookish listeners out there, we're recapping chapters 2 and 3. We'll be doing two chapters a week from now on.

Theme song by Freddie Bayne and Molly Kirschenbaum, additional sound editing by Freddie Bayne.

In this episode, Bella Swan emerges as the quintessential depressed teen, Lida encounters her new favorite character, a romantic rival materializes in the form of a well-endowed receptionist, and Nat has a special request for Gwyneth Paltrow.

Note: This episode has some sound interference, mostly us inexplicably banging our mics. We didn’t do it on purpose, but we think it gives our podcast a nice homey feel. But if you need an apology, we’re sorry, and we promise we get better at recording...mostly….

If you’re reading along (you poser), this episode is all about the preface and chapter 1.

Theme song by Freddie Bayne and Molly Kirschenbaum, additional sound editing by Freddie Bayne 

Kicking off the podcast with the delicious teaser you've been waiting for and unveiling our absolutely gorgeous theme song by Freddie Bayne and Molly Kirschenbaum!