You may have heard of Michael A. Singer‘s book The Untethered Soul. He wrote another book called the Surrender Experiment in which he decided to trust the universe and show up where he was lead instead of “making“ things happen. The book relays his true story of going from a guy who just wanted to have enough money to get by and live alone in a cabin in the woods to his becoming a billionaire.

These past couple of years I’ve been doing my own surrender experiment. I decided to listen, and trust and allow the universe to lead me. Just so you know, this was not a perfect exercise in serenity, ease and grace. There were months when I couldn’t pay my rent. Quite a few of them actually. There were the times when I would go to the grocery and have to put items back because I didn’t have enough money for all that I had chosen. But I was never hungry. Not even close. I was never without anything. not really. And somehow, I knew that it was all going to be OK.

And then, I happen to be someone who loves her clothes and shoes. But did I really need more? Several years ago I had made a decision to only purchase clothing that was sustainably made or found on consignment. That narrowed the options considerably, but also made me so much more thoughtful. All of this allowed me to really get clear on my priorities. What did I need? What did I want? And where was I spending money in an attempt to medicate my feelings? That’s one I’ve done plenty of in the past.

This surrender experiment allowed me to become very clear on what work felt joyful and inspired and on what was clearly not aligned. Historically, if things were tight I would go out and get a retail job. The pandemic prevented me from doing that. It caused me to sit still and listen to where I was being directed.

Next on the list was addressing the work I had done since I was 14 years old as voiceover and on camera talent. Years ago I refused to do voiceover for violent video games. But increasingly, I was being asked to do other work I didn’t believe in. For Big Pharma or oil companies or tech that felt big brother-ish. I finally said no more. And told my agents I was taking a break and to stop submitting me for jobs.

As a serial entrepreneur, I would then start taking action on idea after idea that I thought would be the next big thing I was to launch. But that wasn’t surrender either. That was my monkey mind, my dad’s and society’s voices and my conditioning from 12 step that said that I had to be “willing to go to any lengths.”

Layer after layer of what I thought I “should“ do, what it “should“ look like fell away as I released my grip and fell into the arms of trust. All along there was a deep knowing that everything would be OK. A knowing that I was being held. A knowing that I could access when I let the thinking mind rest.

Then, at one point I made an even deeper decision to trust. To really let go at a level I had yet to do to date. To allow what felt joyful to be what came through. To stop struggling like the cockroach in the toilet and simply go with the flow.

And then the flow began.

The income was coming in when I needed it. For everything I needed. For all of my back rent. For all $12,650 of it!

And when my hybrid car battery died 450 miles from home, I had exactly enough money to replace it and get home with $7 to spare!

Miracles like this kept happening in a way where I could see that when I trusted, really trusted there was always enough!

I have an incredibly abundant feeling life. One that is beyond my wildest dreams. It doesn’t look like what the mind envisioned. But it feels glorious. I travel. I eat well. I have a sweet little home. My life feels abundant. This isn’t whitewashing or bypassing. It is truth.

My surrender experiment so far has allowed me to get clear on what is enough. What is excess. What really feeds me. And most importantly it allows me to see that miracles are waiting for us everywhere - it’s up to us to open our hands and our hearts and our minds and receive!