After 300 episodes of modular carry deep-dives, a listener challenges Herman to design a whole-body system using a single attachment standard from head to shin. The constraints: stick to existing MOLLE gear, minimize custom fabrication, and make at least two carries biomechanically sound. Herman responds with a headband frame with milled MOLLE slots, a torso harness that suspends head weight from the shoulders, a drop-leg rig with quick-disconnect buckles, and a surprising wallet placement at sternum level. They break down weight limits per body zone — 200 grams for the head, 5 kilograms for the belt — and show how one $15 utility pouch can migrate from temple to thigh to chest without adapters. The result: a gloriously unhinged but shockingly practical design for anyone juggling parenting, DIY, and business calls.