Martin Luther once said, “There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.”

A strong marriage is a blessing but requires intentional effort, especially in a blended family. Today, Ron Deal and Greg Pettys join the show to discuss a valuable resource for second marriages.

Ron Deal is a bestselling author, licensed marriage & family therapist, podcaster, and popular conference speaker who specializes in marriage enrichment and stepfamily education and is the co-author of The Smart Stepfamily Guide to Financial Planning: Money Management Before and After You Blend a Family. 

Greg Pettys, CLU, ChFC, CFP, has thirty-four years of specialized experience in securities and life insurance sales and services. He is the co-author of The Smart Stepfamily Guide to Financial Planning: Money Management Before and After You Blend a Family.

Understanding the Financial Challenges of Blended Families

When two people enter a marriage with previous financial histories, children, and life experiences, their financial situation becomes more complex than that of a first-time marriage. They may bring:

• Separate bank accounts and investments
• Existing debts and financial obligations
• Different parenting and financial philosophies
• The need to provide for children from previous relationships
• Concerns over inheritance and estate planning

Merging finances in a blended family isn’t just about money—it’s about trust, provision, and love. Without clear communication and planning, financial disagreements can create tension, causing stress in the relationship.

What Is a Togetherness Agreement?

A Togetherness Agreement is a structured approach for blended couples to clarify their financial decisions, ensuring transparency and unity. More than just a financial plan, it is a tool for fostering trust and eliminating fear. It’s not just about bank accounts and investments—it’s about love, respect, and providing well for one another. It brings clarity to emotionally charged financial topics, ensuring that both partners are aligned in their vision for the future.

Why Is a Togetherness Agreement Important?

1. It Provides Financial Transparency

Many couples enter marriage with financial baggage—whether it's debt, differing views on money management, or past experiences that have led to distrust. A Togetherness Agreement creates a safe space for full financial disclosure.

2. It Helps Prevent Conflict Over Money

Money is one of the top stressors in any marriage, but in blended families, the stakes are even higher. The agreement ensures both spouses are on the same page regarding financial expectations and responsibilities.

3. It Protects Children and Future Generations

Without a clear plan, assets and inheritance can unintentionally drift away from children from previous marriages. The agreement helps ensure that financial resources are distributed according to the couple’s wishes, not just default legal systems.

4. It Strengthens Marital Trust and Unity

A Togetherness Agreement fosters open communication, allowing couples to plan their future confidently rather than fearfully. It shifts financial discussions from potential sources of conflict to proactive, loving conversations.

What Should a Togetherness Agreement Include?

A Togetherness Agreement can be as formal or informal as a couple chooses. While some opt for a legally binding contract, even a simple written plan can be valuable. Key components may include:

• Bank Account Structure—Should finances be merged, kept separate, or a combination of both?
• Debt and Credit Considerations—How will existing debts be managed, and how will future credit decisions be made?
• Business Ownership—If one spouse owns a business, what will happen to it in the event of death or divorce?
• Financial Responsibilities—Who is responsible for household expenses, savings, and long-term care for aging parents?
• Inheritance and Estate Planning—How will assets be distributed to biological and stepchildren?
• Contingency Plans—What provisions are in place for special needs children, elderly parents, or unexpected life changes?

When Should Couples Create a Togetherness Agreement?

Ideally, discussions about financial planning should begin before marriage. However, it's never too late to start if you’re already married and haven’t had these conversations.

If you’re dating, start the conversation now. If you’re already married, don’t wait—begin today. The Smart Step Family Guide to Financial Planning provides a step-by-step guide to help you navigate these important discussions.

A Togetherness Agreement is an essential tool for blended families to navigate finances with wisdom, clarity, and love. By fostering open communication and financial unity, couples can build a secure foundation for their marriage and their future.

If you're in a blended family, consider creating your own Togetherness Agreement today—it might be the most valuable financial decision you ever make.

For more insights, pick up a copy of The Smart Step Family Guide to Financial Planning and start building a financial roadmap that aligns with your family's unique needs.

On Today’s Program, Rob Answers Listener Questions:

• My question has two parts. First, what is the best way to protect myself from identity theft? And second, our home is paid off - what's the best way to protect ourselves so someone can't come in and put a mortgage or lien on our house without us knowing about it?
• I'm calling regarding my estate planning. I remember somewhere in the Bible saying we are required or should leave something for our children and grandchildren. How much should we leave for our grandchildren?

Resources Mentioned:

• Faithful Steward: FaithFi’s New Quarterly Magazine
• The Smart Stepfamily Guide to Financial Planning: Money Management Before and After You Blend a Family by Ron L. Deal, Greg S. Pettys, and David O. Edwards
• Splitting Heirs: Giving Your Money and Things to Your Children Without Ruining Their Lives by Ron Blue
• Wisdom Over Wealth: 12 Lessons from Ecclesiastes on Money (Pre-Order)
• Look At The Sparrows: A 21-Day Devotional on Financial Fear and Anxiety
• Rich Toward God: A Study on the Parable of the Rich Fool
• Find a Certified Kingdom Advisor (CKA) or Certified Christian Financial Counselor (CertCFC)
• FaithFi App

Remember, you can call in to ask your questions every workday at (800) 525-7000. Faith & Finance is also available on Moody Radio Network and American Family Radio. You can also visit FaithFi.com to connect with our online community and partner with us as we help more people live as faithful stewards of God’s resources.

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