So your whole life you were taught to save sex until marriage from the church. You were taught it was ‘God’s best.’ But now you’re in a massive season of deconstruction. Your faith still matters to you, but it looks nothing like it used to anymore.   Who + how do you date during this season? And what about your physical boundaries? What if you don’t know if you want to wait until marriage anymore?    Well…today on the podcast alongside celebrity matchmaker Alessandra Conti, we go straight towards these questions. Conti is the co-founder of Matchmakers In The City, an old-school, personal matchmaking firm headquartered in Beverly Hills. Let’s dive into what she has to share!   Get 20% off when you go to BedSTU.com and use code RC20 at checkout. Go to ZocDoc.com/Kat to download the app for free and start your search today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Navigating Physical Boundaries While You’re Deconstructing with Alessandra Conti

In The Refined Collective podcast, host and author of Sexless in the City, Kat Harris creates a safe space to have honest conversations around faith, sexuality, relationships, politics, identity, Christian culture, deconstruction, and more. *What does the Bible really say about sex? *How does our faith impact our politics? *Is Christianity at odds with science? *Is the Bible still relevant? From purity culture, to deconstruction, dating apps, and LGTBQ+ issues—there’s no topic that’s off the table. In this podcast Kat doesn’t pretend to be an expert, or to have all the answers about faith or Christianity. And though it’d be more convenient to have easy black-and-white answers, she invites you to discover God in the grey and unexpected spaces. Her hope is to look doubt in the face, be curious, seek God, and ask meaningful questions to address any ‘elephant in the room’ with openness, nuance and grace. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Clarity is kind   It’s been months since I’ve shared a podcast episode with you.   I had to get clear with myself on how I wanted to move forward before I could communicate it clearly to you.   Post-sabbatical, I still felt drained and like I had so little to give.   I’ve spent a lot of time feeling discouraged by the results of my podcast. But it finally hit me that even if I make $8k on the podcast, I spent $7k on the podcast.   As I told you in January, my vision for this year is “less is more” and “simplify.” In an effort to follow that vision and promise, this will be my final podcast episode (potentially ever).     Here’s what staying in touch looks like moving forward…   Patreon    patreon.com/therefinedcollective   You can join for $5/mo (or $5/mo if you want access to the book club)   We have four events each month:    Exclusive video (this month I’m talking about the Barbie movie)   Coaching Q+A video (you ask questions, I answer them)   Connection call (this month, we’re chatting about embodiment)   Book club (this month, we’re reading Shameless by Nadia Bolz-Weber)     Coaching    I still offer coaching in my shop! You can purchase individual or bundles of coaching calls therefinedwoman.com/coaching.      Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sorry For Ghosting You

I feel like I start every episode with “this week’s episode, I’m doing things a little differently,” and that’s because I’m really just playing around with what feels good! Since before my sabbatical, I’ve felt lost as to what to share on the podcast. So this week, I decided to do something I thought would be fun (and maybe you’ll think it’s fun too)... an episode where I talk about five things I’m LOVING right now. Are you ready? Resources   Join Patreon here and sign up for book club! This month is Falling Upward by Richard Rohr.   Go to link.primallypure.com/therefinedwoman and use code TRW10 for 10% off. P.S. if you want 25% off, follow me on IG and keep an eye out for a code on May 11th. The code will only be valid on May 11th!   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

5 Things I’m Currently Loving

This week, we’re doing something a little different and very exciting: Kobe Campbell is guest hosting an episode of The Refined Collective with her husband Kyle (the hosts of  The Healing Circle Podcast). In this episode, Kobe will be breaking down the different types of traumas, the nuances of each, and what they can look like in your life.   Trauma Myth   We can sometimes have this perspective of “Trauma” and “trauma” where we have an idea that one is worse than the other. But that is NOT the case!   There are boulders (acute trauma) and pebbles (chronic trauma), and even though pebbles are smaller, they become a large mass as the number of pebbles grow.   “Our body processes emotional pain almost identically to the way it processes physical pain.” - Kobe Campbell     Acute Trauma   A single traumatic incident.    This is what most people think of when they think of trauma. This includes major traumatic events like getting hit by a car, being sexually assaulted, or your house catching on fire.   Even going through the pandemic can be considered an acute trauma.     Chronic Trauma   Prolonged and ongoing abuse or pain.   This might be the fact that your feelings were always dismissed by your parents growing up.   “If your internal voice is mimicking the external invalidation you’ve heard your entire life, you’ve experienced chronic emotional trauma.” - Kobe Campbell     Complex Trauma   A combination of acute and chronic trauma and/or several acute traumas or several chronic traumas.   “Trauma freezes you in time… There are a lot of 9-year-olds trapped in 50-year-old bodies.” - Kobe Campbell   Kobe’s husband, Kyle, shares his own story of complex trauma.     Resources   Join Patreon here and listen to another Kobe episode!   Order Kobe’s book Why Am I Like This?   Work with Kobe Campbell.   Join Kobe’s inner circle.   Listen to  The Healing Circle Podcast.   Listen to Kobe on  TRC ep 174 “Is It The Holy Spirit Or My Trauma?”   Listen to Kobe on  TRC ep 150 “When Is It Time To Go To Therapy?”     Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What Kind of Trauma Do You Have? with Kobe Campbell

Mike Maeshiro is the founder of Numa, an organization that supports people in deconstruction, spirituality, and faith. Mike is gay, an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community, and a queer theology enthusiast. He is a life coach, speaker and thought leader. In this episode, Mike shares his story of coming out, the beliefs that kept him in the closet for so long, and why he still believes in God as a gay person. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Does God Want Me To Be Gay? with Mike Maeshiro

Language disclaimer: this episode includes explicit language so maybe listen with headphones if you’re around children.   As you all know, I took a sabbatical last fall. I needed that time to focus on my own growth and healing without having a microphone in my hand. One thing I knew I wanted to experience during my time away from The Refined Collective was a psilocybin journey (aka mushroom journey). I know there are a lot of immediate reactions that come to mind when someone hears something like that. And I know there are a million questions that you want answered. This episode is a deep dive into the 2-day guided mushroom journey, including why I felt at peace with the decision.   It is important to note that I am not a doctor and this experience is not for everybody. But I wanted to share with you what my experience was like.   My Background   I come from a family with addiction in it, and so I have always been careful about all substances. On top of that growing up Christian—I assumed anything drug related would be an open doorway for the demonic. For these reasons and so many more, I never thought a mushroom journey would be something I’d do.   A few years ago I started hearing rumblings of people I knew micro-dosing mushrooms to support things like PTSD, anxiety, and depression.  Out of curiosity, I started doing some research of my own.   Three years into my research, I was presented with an opportunity to take part in a guided journey and I felt ready to do it.     The Basics   I checked in with my therapist, my doctor, and my family. Everyone knew I was taking part in this experience.   The experience cost $500 and was led by three facilitators and there was a doctor on the premises as well. It felt incredibly safe.   The mushrooms themselves were put into a sort of hot chocolate.     The Breakthroughs   I felt so held by God during this experience. I knew God was there with me and that I was safe even in the unknown of what this experience would feel like.   There was a particular moment from childhood that came up and brought up some heavy and powerful physical reactions.     Resources   Join Patreon here!   Fantastic Fungi documentary on Netflix    How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan     The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk     Old episodes of TRC about anxiety    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Navigating Physical Boundaries While You’re Deconstructing with Alessandra Conti

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