Definition of bitterness: A sinful HEART ATTITUDE towards someone because of what that person did or did not do in the PAST that affects the way that you interact with that person.
The Bible shows two different situations where bitterness can take hold in a person's life:
1. A sinful response to GOD ORDAINED trials.
- A bad example: NAOMI (Ruth 1:20-21, 2:19-20; 4:13-17)
- A good example: JOB (Job 2:9-10; 10:1-2; 40:1-5; 42:1-6)
- Our response: TRUST that our God is faithful and sovereign and that our trials are not MEANINGLESS (Rom 8:28; James 1:2-4; 1 Peter 1:3-9)
2. A sinful response to other people's BEHAVIOR or SIN.
- The real issue: A lack of FORGIVENESS (Eph 4:31-32; Col 3:12-14; Her 12:15)
- The solution: FORGIVENESS and COMMUNICATION (Matt 18:15)
Tools for dealing with bitterness:
Examine your heart (Col 3:12-14)
--> Repent of any bitterness and pray for God's help in the fight against bitterness.
--> Pray that you would be able to honor God in the way that you talk to the other person.
Examine the situation (Matt 18:15a)
Did the other person sin or not sin?
- If the other person did not sin, would talking about the issue improve the relationship or cause unnecessary shame or confusion?
- If the other person did sin, is this a sin that should be overlooked?
--> Examine the circumstances (1 Cor 13:7)
Talk to the person (Matt 18:15b)
- The goal: To restore the relationship and help the other person (Matt 18:15c)
--> In private and in person (or over the phone, NOT over text)
----> The correction "OREO" (praise, correction, praise)
Serve the other person (Rom 12:17-21)